You Are the Most Beautiful

Reminder: Though the following events are based on Biblical stories, remember that this is just a work of fiction. This is not meant to disparage Christianity or any religion.

Please keep that in mind whenever the Christian god is being referred to/insulted that it is not the same as the real-life one but just a fictional one.

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'Leandro' narrowed his eyes. The Lord? Surely, he doesn't mean big ol' Jesus. So the only option is.....

"You mean Satan? But isn't it easy to just visit him and drink some tea when you live in the same hellhole?" He asked, secretly using some of his powers to get rid of the sticky tar while Daniele is distracted.

"Ah, Satan. I truly dislike that name for our Lord. The Adversary." The Serpent crossed his arms and clicked his tongue. "The only adversary he had ever been to was himself. How can someone stuck in a frozen lake to chew on three bland-tasting sinners forever be considered a threatening opponent?"

"Then what do you prefer to call him then?"

The Serpent grinned. "His true name, the one he had before he fell. Lucifer. The Light-Bringer. Because that better represents him, what he truly was. The most beautiful creature of all things, he whose mere presence gives blinding light.."

(Uh, I hate to break to you dad, but a three-headed monster can never pass any beauty standards. I would have believed you if you said a K-pop idol was the most beautiful creature on Earth.)

"Did you know what he looked like before he was cast down by God, Father? Can he transform back to that?" Daniele asked, very interested in this topic yet showing a bit of hesitance since he felt this knowledge is forbidden. ".....N-Nevermind, it isn't my place to inquire and all I need is to accept my punishment—"

"Oh, don't hold back on your questions child. Knowledge is the mother of both good and evil. Any new knowledge is a neutral entity in itself and how evil it is depends on how you use it." The Serpent said.

"A-Alright." Daniele smiled sheepishly. "You do make a good point, Father. I would like to get answers to that, and to Leandro's question as well. Why do you not see each other anymore?"

The Serpent, seeing that the poor blond boy was still wiping tar that his son could easily swat away with magic but chose not to, flicked his wrist and cleaned him with magic himself.

"There, much better." He said, then cleared his throat. "Now both of you can listen well to the story I am about to impart on you."

"There was a time when Adam's pair was not Eve. It was someone who was also made in the image and likeness of god himself. But that someone was disobedient to him, so he discarded his second creation away, and used a part of Adam's ribs to make a new one from clay."

The Serpent smiled wryly. "What a dirty trick, to make such a metaphorical symbolism of oneness between men and women. But truly, there were never 'men' and 'women' at the start. Believe me. There were only 'people'. Only when the second creation was discarded this whole trifle matter of sex and gender had started."

Zhe Chouhen knows who this 'second creation' he was talking about, since he had done some reading on it as well. "This person is Lilith, isn't it? The first wife of Adam?"

The Serpent grinned. "Again, to call Lilith a wife would be wrong, since that concept was never meant to exist when there was no such thing as man or woman. But alright, for the sake of making it easier to understand, let us call the second creation Lilith and refer to it as her."

"Lilith was just like Adam, only given a bit more care by god. When Adam only represents the surface of the waters, Lilith was something deeper. Something that almost completely replicated god's likeness. Therefore, she was the more favored of the two."

Daniele has only heard of Lilith now, and this was all new knowledge to him since this was never mentioned in the Catholic Bible. He was very perplexed. "God doesn't have favoritism, though. He loves all His creation equally—"

"Haha! What a funny joke that is. No, no, the god who created all of this was a vain one. How else would he have the audacity to create something at this scale and let it run amok for his own entertainment?"

The Serpent had a really good laugh that he even clutched his stomach. "Oh, if you only know how far that man is from that cute little book you like to listen to every Sabbath. But I digress. Everything had already revolved upon him, there is no need to discuss him any further or he would feed on this popularity like a vulture."

"Back to the main star of the show: Lilith. Lilith was wonderful. Everyone loved and adored her. Every step she took would bring pure bliss and joy to everyone. Adam, despite his jealousy of being the less favored replica, could not resist her beauty as well. He tried to force her to copulate."

Daniele grimaced. "How horrible! This.... This can't be true! How can someone force himself on a woman? So the reason they had moved to separate ways was that Lilith fought back and did not accept him, right?"

"No." The Serpent grinned. "She did accept the challenge. And this is why I told you it was better off not thinking of them as man and woman, but beings."

"She accepted Adam's offer, on the condition that he would bear the child for her."

Zhe Chouhen's eyes widened. (What in the fucking mpreg!?)

"Adam was enraged. You see, back then, no genitalia or other silly bodily conditions determine who bears children. It is a matter of the mind and spirit. The one who decided to be..... Let us say, 'pierced' will be the one who bears fruit, and all animals live this way as well. It was truly a fun era, you can even switch and alternate. Your partner will bear your first child, then you'll bear the second, and so on and so forth."

(Wow... This worldbuilding is insane. And a world without any gender or sex sounds awesome.) Zhe Chouhen thought. (This is definitely something that fatty panda wouldn't come up with.)

He can feel the deadly aura of the fatty panda lurking around him, but the evil author did not say anything like telling them to ignore this whole unimportant storytime and go back to the main quest.

He seems to be also listening intently to the origins of the world according to this Serpent as well.

"Why did Adam hate the idea of being the 'bearer' so much?" He asked.

"Because his whole plan was to be the one who is 'higher' than Lilith by piercing her. I don't know where he got such a wild idea either. Anyway, they had a huge brawl that lasted a thousand days and a thousand nights over who will be pierced. Lilith won victorious."

"But just before she did so, Adam had a clever idea. He had already set up a trap in case he failed. He knew that the person god hated the most was Lucifer, because that djinn was better looking than him. He shouted at the top of his lungs before Lilith could pierce him that she had colluded with the enemy, and that Lucifer had ordered her to start this fight and that she plans to eventually bear children with the Light-Bringer himself."

(The more I listen to this story, the more I want to puke with the idea that I may be a descendant of Adam. Ugh!!!) Zhe Chouhen thought. (But not to worry. It's all fictional anyway.... I hope.)

"Lilith was banished from Eden before she could say another word because of the gullible, dumb god. Her limbs were cut off so she could only crawl and squirm in the dirt helplessly. But before she died and see the first afterlife...."

"The most beautiful creature appeared before her." The Serpent gave a strange fond smile as he said this. "The Beautiful One, the Morningstar, took her soul and plucked it out of the disgusting shell the vain god had created for her and gave her the freedom to choose any form she pleases."

"Lucifer was not banished yet into what we call 'Hell', and still fighting for his right to dethrone this tyrant you all bow down and pray to. He offered Lilith shelter along with his other comrades in exchange for her service and loyalty to him. Their plan is to set up the greatest diversion, an act so scandalous that it will take away the attention of the all-seeing god and let him be stabbed in the back."

"Lilith was given a new name now that she was given the task to be star actor of this divine comedy they set up. That task was to seduce Eve into taking the Forbidden Fruit of Knowledge of Good and Evil..."

Zhe Chouhen realized where this going. His eyes widened.

The Serpent saw this, and just grinned and stretched his lips from ear to ear. "She was no longer a pathetic 'human'. He was a Leviathan, a majestic Serpent."

He twirled a strand of hair. "Leviathan is an important centerpiece on opposing god. So you could say that the true Adversary, the real 'Satan', was both him and Lucifer, not just one of them."

This plot twist was so amazing that Zhe Chouhen's fanboy mode was activated.

(WHATTTTTT????? HOLY SHIT????? This is the coolest thing, man! My dad is Lilith!?)

Yet he kept calm and tried so hard not to ask for an autograph. He cleared his throat."So I'm guessing this diversion failed because Lucifer did not manage to kill God, and was thrown into hell instead. The divine comedy turned into a tragedy for the Adversary's side after all."

Comedy used to mean 'a story that started off badly but has a good ending', not necessarily meaning that it was funny. Tragedy was the opposite, and somehow retained its meaning to this day. That is why Dante Alighieri called it the 'Divine Comedy' despite the only joke being about demons using their farts as trumpets: because it started with going through Inferno, then Purgatorio, then finally, Paradiso.

But paradise doesn't sound that good anymore if you live with an asshole god.

"Oh, we did not fail. We gave birth to sin. That counts as something." The Serpent said. "And I believe the Beautiful One is just taking his time. We will rise up once more. That's why I must speak with him."

"Well, pardon me for asking again, but why choose only to speak with him now?" Daniele stroked his chin thoughtfully.

"Why else but that bastard god keeping him away from me? No one can go to the frozen lake, Cocytus, ever since he was banished in there besides the worst of human sinners. It was to keep the demons from planning any schemes."

Daniele rubbed his chin. "Hmm.... I see. Then how will you see him now, then? Would you exert all your powers to break the barriers God had given? And how are we involved with this?"

"Yes, I'm also wondering about that....." 'Leandro' nodded, then realized. "Powers?"

Daniele frowned. "I'm not dense, Leandro. I know that this 'priest' friend is telling us the story because he himself is Lilith, or more correctly, Leviathan the Serpent of Eden. Now I wonder how he came to know your mother....."

Zhe Chouhen gulped, anticipating if the not-so-dense MC had busted his true identity after all.

"Perhaps he disguised himself as a human to trick her into sinning. It's a good thing that mother didn't." Daniele shrugged.

(Whoo..... Thank go— er, thanks to my luck for letting him not deduce everything.)

The Serpent's green eyes sparkled at this. "Oh, this friend of yours is really delightful, Leandro! Good job on picking him, he may not be my first choice but he does remind me of Eve quite a bit. Hiding so much burning curiosity in that fragile stature."

"Now, to answer your question on why I am joining you...."

He clapped his hand and gave a dramatic gesture towards his son. "I will let Leandro answer that."

'Leandro' pointed at himself. "Eh???"

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