1.11

"Luna," a soft, boyish voice woke me. I blinked, taking in the bright sunlight from an unfamiliar window. Then, my eyes widened in fear and shock, turning to the person in the bed beside me who was not Jianyu.

Cold blue eyes stared at me. 

"Y-you," I stuttered, falling off the bed in a panic amidst the person's bitter laughter.

Scrambling to my feet, I glared down at the young man laying leisurely on the bed naked. The blanket had been pulled off him, exposing each inch of his pale flesh.

It was that man. The man I had killed. Yet, he was much younger. Just what was this?

"System?" I called out internally, taking a step back and catching my reflection in a tall mirror. 

I was still Zhiyue, yet her messy bed hair was cut short in a bob, her curves barely there.

"It can't help you here," he smiled smugly, pushing himself to stand off the bed and walk towards me. 

Panicked, I threw myself at the door, tugging at the unmoving handle. "Help," I screamed out.

"It's just us here, you're not even awake yet," he leaned against the wall beside the door, arms folded across his chest.

My whole body froze, then trembled.

"I'm asleep?" I asked out loud in disbelief, then instantly reached to pinch my naked thigh as if it would actually wake me up. I ashamedly felt insecure at the fact I was also undressed. 

"Yes, one of Zhiyue's memories as a dream, you like?" He raised a brow, not giving a fuck at my dishevelled, emotional state. 

"W-who are you?" I stuttered, walking backward as my heart flittered in my chest, threatening to break through my ribcage at any moment.

"Are you asking me whose body I'm wearing or…" he nonchalantly purred, his eyes firmly staring into mine as if he could see right through them.

"Both," my weak voice trembled alongside my body as I dejectedly walked backward. 

"I am Yue'er's good brother," he chuckled, taking a step forward, "however, Luna…"

Tripping I fell, landing with a painful thump on my knees. How could I still feel pain here?

"On your knee's so quickly for me, dear?" He cocked an eyebrow, stopping directly in front of me, blocking the sunlight that illuminated his almost translucent skin.

"Shut up," I growled, growing impatient with his teasing. Trying to rack my head around his words before, I avoided his eye contact.

"Brother?" In Zhiyue's culture, it could mean many things; however, due to the intimacy, I hoped it wasn't biological at least.

"On paper," he replied as if aware of my trailing thoughts.

Zhiyue had been in an orphanage, Su Meng had mentioned that when she had arrived Zhiyue was mourning the loss of a brother. So…

He kneeled down in front of me, his cold hands gripping my clenching fist. 

"Have you really forgotten everything, Luna?" He asked, his tone slightly more gentle than before.

Yes, forget about Zhiyue. This man knew me. Me. 

"Who am I?" I asked, my eyes finally willing to meet his.

A warm smile flourished on his flawless face, giving my heart a start. 

"My wife."

I shook my head. No.

Fear overwhelmed me at the word wife.

Had he killed Zhiyue to bring me here? But he had also slept with Zhiyue beforehand…

"Since you so rudely forced me out of this boy, I'll have to come to find you again dear," his free cold hand pinched my chin, forcing me to stare at him directly. My eyes did their best to avoid his gaze.

"No."

"No?" His face instantly turned cold and menacing, much like how it was before I had plunged that blade so firmly into his chest. 

Swiftly he moved to pin me down onto the soft carpet below, making me anxiously aware of my pitiful state.

Unable to breathe, my chest ached and burned as I froze like a deer in headlights.

"You think you can get rid of me again?" He laughed coldly, "but you gave away everything, you're useless now."

Finally, air filled my lungs as my heart sped erratically. 

"I don't remember you."

For once he froze instead. His body emitted that strong killing intent making me want to shrivel up into a little ball of nothingness.

His hand moved suddenly making me scream and close my eyes.

"Luna?" A warm, familiar voice called out beside me.

"Jianyu?" I gasped, feeling like a warm current of air suddenly flooded around me, "Jianyu." Tears freely flowed down my already damp cheeks. My arms instantly seek his warmth, clutching onto him like a raft at sea.

"Shh… it's alright, I'm here now," he coaxed me, his arms surrounding my tiny, trembling frame as our naked flesh merged under the bed sheets. I was awake. I was safe. 

Neither of us spoke about my nightmare as we washed together. I clung to him, feeling vulnerable and weak, only letting him leave to get dressed. 

As he made breakfast I sat at the breakfast table watching his every move intently. He alternated between stirring the pot and typing on his smartphone. 

"Dr. Li will be here in an hour or so," he informed me putting his phone on the bench to fish out some bowls from the cupboard. 

"Oh," I sighed dejectedly, my chin resting firmly in my palm. I had finally gotten rid of her and now here I was back to square one again.

"Miss Su will be here too," he started dishing out the sweet-smelling feast he'd made.

"Are you leaving?" I asked, sitting abruptly upright in fear.

He flinched, before regaining his calm composure.

"I'm unable to delay work," his jaw was clenched tightly, was my current clingy state annoying to him? 

After all, we'd had little contact with one another these months. It had taken him a whole two months to speak with me, to begin with.

If I clung too tight, would he break free?

I was not Zhiyue, I was not the woman he loved. I was just an imposter clinging to his affection for the woman who died. The woman who my supposed husband had killed. 

"That's fine," I tried my best to feign a sweet smile.

Who was I to cling to this tall tree? Who was I to hold and love him so tenderly? I regretted my actions last night. I regretted it so much. Now I had crossed this barrier with him, it was now impossible to return to before. 

As time passed surely he would notice the difference in me. Realise that I was not the woman he loved. 

Then there was that psycho threatening to return. He had already wanted to kill him once, he would surely want to do it again. 

Jianyu was just a human. Amongst his counterparts, he was at the top of the food chain, but amongst immortals, he was mere cannon fodder.

I needed to protect him. 

"Will you be okay? I could spare Rui?"

His words interrupted my thoughts as he placed the dishes on the table.

"No," I shook my head and picked up the chopsticks, "I'll be fine, you do your thing."

I needed to create some distance between us. It was inevitable that we'd part, one way or another. 

But for now… for now, I'll selfishly allow myself to feel some of his warmth.