Bug God

A little later the queen was still sipping her tea when another gentlewoman approached.

She was very fat to say the least and looked to be younger than the beetle queen. Wearing a red dress with pink ribbons the god of bugs greeted the matriarch with a cheerful voice.

"Hey, Betty, it is good to see you again!"

"Welcome my lady. As always I am thankful to have your guidance."

The queen expressed humbly.

"No, problem. No, problem. I see you have another one for me. Same as last time?"

Bug God changed the subject away from the preliminaries.

"Yes, just like last time. Her death has been faked and there is a world here that I will conquer and give to you."

Showing her deference the beetle practically squeaked trying to please her lady.

"It will be nice to have more believers! You are such a good servant!"

"Yes, my master. I am yours. If I grow enough seeds I can regain my former glory and rise back up to become one of your demigods again!"

The queen emitted a buzzing sound, very much like the noise a beetle makes when it is flying around.

"It is okay, Betty, I apporeciate you for who you are regardless of your ranking in my pantheon."

Laughing good naturedly the fat girl tried to brush off the tense atmosphere.

"Yes, my master!"

The beetle said, but it was clear she didn't know her own worth.

"Let's see, you want to find a man for this pylon here. One that will capture her heart on first sight? I don't know why the human god gave such an obvious weakness to humanity! It is just too easy."

"The males of their species are even worse! You don't even need to help me with them."

The queen agreed.

The god stayed still for a few moments. Looks like their are few who could tempt her heart and none of them are good matches in the long run. But they all have the right pheromones to knock on her heart as long as we prep her and intensify the experience."

"It does not matter to me. She will grow no matter what."

Hurrying to assure her god that she was not picky the queen threw Jace under the bus.

"I think you deserve a choice this time. I have narrowed it down to three. The first one is a good businessman but has no morals. Second is a looker, which would probably be easiest for us. He can't keep a job make anything of himself except in the gym. The last is the worst. That one is completely naive and has sworn off women. She would never be happy with him."

Inquiring the bug god looked expectantly at Betty.

"These human relationships are so boring. They meet they fall in love, they fall out of love, and then they fight. It is so predictable."

"So you are saying you want the gullible man? The third one?"

"Yes, it should be a good show."

The matriarch took a sip of tea while deciding Jace's fate.

"Do you want to put them in an alternate dimension like normal?"

"No, please keep them in this universe. This pylon was also a Princess. She had to forsake her royal blood to accelerate. The people will hunt her if she ever comes back. There shouldn't be a problem with keeping her nearby."

"Still in this quadrant? I can put her anywhere, I know you will repay me in millions of believers."

"No, Lady, this quadrant is fine. I have my eye on her legion. She prepared them."

At this point the beetle queen started buzzing again.

"Ah! You plan to capture them all! What a clever servant you are. Good girl!"

Heaping praises onto the queen beetle the bug god reached over and petted the her worshipper's hand.

Obviously pleased the matriarch stayed quiet wishing for her god's touch to never end.

Eventually though the far girl sat back in her seat and sighed. Then, for the first time, she interested herself in the tea. Poring herself a cup she took a large loud sip.

"Oh, I so love your tea! What do you make it out of?"

"Dung of the Aluvian Moose, aged and dried human flesh, a few spices, and water that has been cycled through a diabetic."

The queen said proudly.

"Oh! What a delight! I can always count on you to make good tea. These humans don't know what they are missing. The herbs they love just don't have the satisfaction factor."

Scratching under one arm the bug god criticized human tea.

"I completely agree. It is no wonder they are so weak."

The two of them laughed and laughed for far too long. When ever one of them stopped the other would let out a burst of air trying to keep the funnies in. Which would cause the other to laugh even more."

Finally the bug god held up a hand,

"I am sorry, this is too much! I have to stop. Please! I will turn you into a cute little bunny if you don't stop!"

At this comment the beetle matriarch became stone still. Not even a peep came out of her.

"That's better, thank you."

The girl said and then took another large swallow of tea.

And then she glared at the queen and spit it all up onto Jace who was unconscious on the floor.

"I can't help it, you ruined some perfectly good tea! Every time I try to drink some I think about human tea now. I can't help but laugh!"

Her rolls of fat shook with waves of laughter. The girl couldn't be serious anymore.

The matriarch continued to sit stone still refusing to even smile for fear that she would encourage her god to laugh more. Betty definitely did not want to be a bunny.

Finally a white light flashed and a male human was dumped on the floor between them right on top of Jace.

"Oh! Good timing. Set up your illusion so they can't see us. Let's get this over with."

The girl snapped her fingers but instead of a snapping sound a clack so loud that it reverberated in the small room was released. It was like a giant bug had snapped its pincers closed.

Immediately the two humans woke up.

And then looked into each other's eyes.

"Husband."

Jace said and buried her head in the man's chest hugging him tight.

"I'm alive? Wait what did you say?"

He was having a hard time it was clear.

"Yes, I will serve you forever. Whatever you want. … How many children would you like?"

When Jace finished saying these words the man fainted.

Unknowable to the humans the queen and her god wrapped up their conversation.

"I am so grateful for your patronage. Please accept my gift of this planet in return!"

"I am happy to help out and the planet will do nicely."

The bug god stood up with some difficulty. Swinging her fat that had folded over the tea table out of the way without upsetting her chair was awkward.

With a wave the god sent the humans into another spatial gate. And then the queen was suddenly left by herself to finish her tea.

"It is soon enough to conquer this word after I finish my tea."

Betty said quietly to herself.