Chapter 33

Sometimes an unexpected visitor comes into our lives. No, it is not about the visit of a relative or someone extremely important, but it is about the arrival of something strange, and quite complex. Hard to understand.

It is the visitation of a specter that appears in our lives as a surprise. A very bad taste surprise. It is about the visitation of death. Visit that is difficult to prevent at all costs in our lives. But sooner or later it will come, it is only a matter of time for that to happen.

When Dr. Choi arrived at the hospital where she worked, she wanted to laugh at how ironic it all seemed to her. It was true that she treated patients every day, and it was also true that she was in charge of saving their lives on some occasions, but she never believed that one day the one who would be treated in the emergency room would be her beloved daughter, Clara Choi.

She walked at the moment the clear glass doors opened for her thanks to the sensor.

—Amalia... —She said in an attempt to calm her heavy breathing. —Where is she...?

Meanwhile, Amalia did not answer her with words, but instead, she used her index finger to point to a place at the end of the hall. Choi understood and headed for the emergency room on the right wing of the hospital.

She walked almost running as fast as her slim legs would allow her until she came upon a huge door with two smaller windows on each side. She walked over to see how her daughter was doing during the operation, but someone was faster than her and opened the door to the room. It was Dr. Shing.

—Dr. Shing! —The doctor exclaimed. —Can I see Clara now? How is she?

The specialist who treated her daughter's weak body observed her for a few seconds. Some people who passed by that corridor noticed that Shing's glance distilled something similar to the anguish of knowing a very disturbing secret. A secret that when revealed could destroy many people like a bomb, or maybe just one.

—Clara is not well. —Shing answered holding Choi's gaze in a vague attempt to convey the true news.

—No? But I need to see her! Please, Dr. Shing, let me in. I want to know how my daughter is doing. If she is serious or not so serious for her to rest in the hospital.

—That's the problem, Dr. Choi.

The doctor looked at him confusedly. —Problem? Which problem? I do not understand.

Meanwhile, the doctor cleared his throat, prepared to be the announcer for the news that would seriously impact Choi's emotional health. —Clara is going to rest all the time in the hospital, or rather, she will never come home again, Doctor.

The body, until that moment, worried of Mrs. Choi trembled even more when hearing the strange answer that the doctor had to give her. At first, she believed that the current state of her daughter would be so terrible, but so terrible that she would surely have to rest under a grave. Choi didn't want to think about that, she still had a bit of hope to face reality. Clara, her child, could not simply leave her side. No, Clara still had a bright future and she would achieve it with her, with her mother, so Clara could not simply vanish like a corpse.

—You are not trying to tell me what I think it is. Is it, Dr. Shing? —Choi inquired, but the look the specialist gave her in front of her cleared up all her doubts.

—I am very sorry, Doctor. We tried to do everything in our power to save her, but it was too late when we intervened. You can enter.

It was the third time that day. Doctor Choi's heartbeat began to increase, as did the chills emanating from her vulnerable body with uncontrolled actions. She took the silver knob on the emergency room door and opened it without caring. Nothing mattered at the time, Dr. Shing did not matter, neither did the other nurses who had worked with him during the operation, and a possible academic future for her daughter did not matter. She ran to the white stretcher where Clara's body rested and knelt in front of it. Clara's body was impassive as if nothing bad had happened and she was just taking a little nap. It looked like a divine angel, who had come down from heaven just to manifest that divine creatures existed. In that white tunic typical of hospital patients and her brown hair falling down her shoulders as a few strands slid over her girl's forehead. Oh, her dear daughter. Now, her eyelids covered her eyes honey, but equally, her beauty was not prevented from detaching from her daughter's body. She was totally a divine being. A winged being.

—Clara... My girl... —She took the face of her daughter in her hands, who had her eyes closed, and held it as gently as possible as if it were a glass statue. —Wake up, please... —She begged but got no response. —Clara, you can't abandon me like this! My love... My precious girl... Why...? Why are you getting further and further away from me? Clara, Why are you leaving?! —Her tears spilled from her eyes and then she allowed herself to tremble on the inert body of her daughter. —Come back with me, Clara... Just one more time, we can try it one more time, Clara... I will be a better mother, just for you...

[...]

The wake on behalf of Clara Choi took place faster than one might imagine. Dr. Choi made sure that this was the case because she wanted her daughter to have a decent rest under a tombstone. But, it was also because she could not bear to have the immobile body of her firstborn around her. She could not bear to look at the corpse of her daughter inside her house and think that perhaps she could have spent more time with her when she was still alive, instead of having argued the same day of her death.

The forces weren't reaching her body yet. She needed to stay in her bed all day and cry for a few hours, regretting not being able to be with her daughter hours before her death or even having been involved in a car accident. —I should have been in your place, Clara. —Dr. Choi murmured, as she curled up in the blankets that covered her soft mattress. She looked like a little girl when is scolded by her parents, while she cried nonstop at no time, silencing her sobs with the help of the pillows. Then she couldn't stop it and she shed more tears. After her, her eyes were dry and the dark circles too, but she remembered the last moments she had spent with her daughter and she began to cry again. A completely vicious cycle, from which she could not escape.

The hours passed and as she looked at her watch she realized that the time to celebrate the wake was approaching. She got out of her bed weakly and with little strength until she found the bathroom. She almost fainted by just taking a few steps. —God. —She murmured. —I feel like I'm about to die. I can't move and I'm very tired.

But even with the great drowsiness that I felt in those moments, she had to get ready to bury her firstborn. Her only daughter, Clara Choi. At least now that she was dead, she should honor her, because she thought her death was her fault, and no one else's. And that would start to pay certain bills in Dr. Choi's life.

First, the doctor couldn't even get out of her own bed, but then everything would get worse, everything would go from bad to worse. She would have been diagnosed with depression and would miss many days from work, which would mean a possible dismissal of her. Possible unemployment that came true at the end of it all. Her human cloning project would stay in the pond and she would sleep up every night until one day, she could see what she needed. She was able to contemplate what she needs to do in her life to achieve true happiness.

There was no one else around her. When she decided to quit her job at the hospital, none of her colleagues tried to communicate with her, not even those she considered to be friends of hers. When she decided to hide inside her house and never leave her, none of her neighbors had knocked on her door or tried to see if she was okay. There was never anyone truly by her side. The only one who had been next to her was her daughter, Clara, but now she was resting under the dirty earth of the cemetery.

That was what Choi imagined in her own world, but she turned out to be fatally wrong. Well, one day, unexpectedly, she received a visit from someone whom she had not seen since she left the hospital and with it, her previous job. A soft tapping on the front door could be heard without difficulty as Choi was lying on the sofa, playing with the satin decorations that overflowed the soft furniture. Every tiny corner that existed inside his home had been consumed in deep silence, but that sometimes scared her, because she believed that someone would come out of the dust that was beginning to accumulate in some parts of the house and take her very far. Other times, it made her feel overwhelming sadness, as she reminded her of the absence that Clara's departure had left. Not to mention her face, which she had consumed in deformed features that denoted the pain that she was still experiencing and that did not allow her to live in peace or continue with her earthly life.

Either way, hearing the delicate touches on the wood of the front door, Choi was forced to get up once and observe who was the person that was calling outside her home. With what little strength she had left —from crying all the time during the day and sleeping so little— she walked to the entrance and unhooked the metal lock. The space that the door had left open, allowed her without any difficulty to realize who it was.

—Good morning, Yang Mi! —A woman with a jovial aura greeted effusively, whom she had not seen since the funeral of her daughter. —Are you busy? I came to visit you. Let's go out for a while! I haven't seen you for a long time and I'd like to know how you are.

—Hello, Amalia. —Choi murmured, her voice broken from having sobbed for a long time since she had gotten out of bed. —No, I'm free today, but I don't feel like going out. Thanks.

Amalia frowned at the answer from her friend and colleague at the hospital where she worked. It was obvious that Choi needed to be distracted! The doctor's face was decorated with deep, dark circles under her eyes, while the blank stare she wore was tinted a vibrant red. No. It was more than obvious that Choi Yang Mi had to leave the house even if it was to go to the park; Amalia could not allow her to continue suffering within the four walls and the devastating silence.

—What did you say? But look at you, Choi Yang Mi, you need to go anywhere right away. Listen. —She said in a lower voice, taking a step toward the doctor as long as she paid more attention. —I understand that Clara's death has been very painful for you. I understand, but I can't bear to see you so down and without anyone's help. You should also focus on yourself, even if your mind is reminding you a thousand times a day of the image of your daughter. Amalia took Choi's hand with care, but also with confidence, and she did not allow herself to let go, but caressed her opposite skin, calming down the uneasiness that Doctor Choi was surely feeling. —I have also lost people close to me, family, and friends, but even though our hearts and heads ache to the point of exhaustion, we cannot forget something: We are still alive and we must continue with our lives and our destinies. Think for a moment what Clara would be thinking if she saw you all down and depressed over her death. Would Clara Choi like to see her mother sink more and more into her sadness and misery as the days go by? Or, would Clara prefer her mother to be able to be happy and get over her departure? I believe, for all the years that I have known your daughter, since she was a little girl, that she would not want to see you in such a miserable state. Clara would have wanted you to continue with what makes you happy and not consume yourself in the darkness of your home. So what do you say, Choi Yang Mi? —Amalia asked, this time with a smile impregnated on her face, managing to infect the doctor with the same feeling. —Let's go for a walk around there. There is a new café patisserie that has recently opened its doors. Are we going there to eat? Say yes! It will be fun; we will chat for a while and then we go to the mall. Today is my day off and I want to spend it with one of my dearest friends.

After that talk between Choi and Amalia, where the second one convinced her that going for a walk was not as bad as it seemed, the doctor got ready to go to the cafeteria that her friend had suggested. She washed her face and changed her pajamas. Although she had agreed to spend a day with Amalia, she did not have the will to put on makeup as much as she could. She continued to battle Clara's death.

During the journey, Amalia tried to clear the doctor's mind with whatever topic of conversation she could think of. Of course, avoiding talking about death or things related to that. They crossed a few streets until Amalia pointed to a building with a pink facade with white lines. —There is! That's the patisserie I was telling you about.

Then they entered the white-framed door and the bell above it shook, affirming the new silhouettes that settled within the establishment. However, although Dr. Choi wanted with all her strength to concentrate on the talk she was having with Amalia, there were spaces of time in which she would lose herself unintentionally, but without stopping at all. Spaces of time in which she remembered Clara more strongly and made her even sadder and more deplorable than she did before leaving home. —Hey. —Amalia called her from the other corner of the table where they were waiting. —If you feel very bad, I can recommend a friend of mine who is a psychologist. You know, it is always good to appeal to the professional help that one can be given. If you feel that this psychologist is not going well for you or you are not feeling better, he has other colleagues in the same field, so I can ask him to mention you to other people. You know that I will always look after your well-being, so if you require the support of someone else, do not hesitate to ask me. Okay?

Doctor Choi wanted to answer the question that Amalia had asked her, but she was not able, because someone else had approached the table, interrupting the conversation completely. It was a waitress.

The girl approached where she and Amalia were standing and, immediately afterward, asked for their order. —Good morning, What are you going to order?

Amalia opened her mouth, but the words that came out of it could not be heard by the doctor. In the same way, Choi did not know what to answer to the young woman, because when scanning her face, she realized that she was becoming quite familiar to her. The female wore beautiful straight brown hair that was held in a ponytail, but she also had beautiful honey eyes that looked at her with consideration in order to write down her request and take it straight to the kitchen.

—What are you going to order, Yang Mi? —However, Amalia received no response in return.

Dr. Choi remained in a trance-filled state of fantasies, where she imagined that the girl in front of her was, in fact, her daughter, Clara. Both looked so much alike, to tell the truth. It was as if the waitress were an identical copy of Clara. As if she were clone of her daughter.

—Clara... I've missed you so much, my girl. Come back with me, please.

[...]

As if she were a clone.