150 Together In Bed

A cold winter rain washed down on the city of Palisia, wetting the skyscrapers as the cold droplets of rain trailed down the side. Despite this, the city remained operating as usual with many cars driving by on the roads and stores remaining open. The numerous lights dotting the skyscrapers nearby were still on in this weather as well, making it oddly scenic if one were to peek out the window and at them. I guess the only difference between tonight and the other nights are that due to the cold weather and the rain, there were less pedestrians out in the city this late at night.

Unlike the miserably cold and wet world outside, my room was quite warm and bright. In addition, my chest was warmed by the girl who I held close in my arms as we embraced. I took in the familiar softness and warmth of her body, comparing it to those that I had stored in my memory. It would appear that she was somewhat thinner than before, but maybe it was simply my imagination. Whatever the case may be, what was actually on my mind at the moment was how long should I be hugging her for.

The situation was oddly awkward, yet it was surprisingly calming for me. In the silence of my room, I could hear the sound of my heart beating heavily in my chest, and it was so loud that I hoped that she wouldn't be able to hear it. However, I guess if she was unable to hear it, she must be able to feel it beating with how close our bodies were.

I didn't know how much time elapsed before our embrace finally ended, but when it did end, it was as if a voice had whispered in my mind that it was enough. At that moment, when I slowly backed myself away from the embrace, it appeared as if Luna had the exact same idea at the exact same moment as she seemed to slowly retract as well. There just appeared to be an invisible bond connecting us for the moment where we were connected by embrace.

"Ready to begin the next round?"

She smiled in a calming manner as my heart rate slowly eased back to normal. As I closed my hand into a fist to ready for the next round of rock-paper-scissors, I could feel blood rushing to my face as I blushed. I kept my eyes trained on my hand after deciding on what I will use for this round.

"Looks like I've won again."

Luna smiled and giggled in an energetic and innocent manner. On her face was a joyful countenance as she celebrated her victory with a slightly mocking behavior with her hands as she moved them back and forth almost as if in a little victory dance. However, it was all in good fun and there was really no intent of disdain towards me.

Upon seeing how happy she was, my heart suddenly sank as I prepared myself for the worst order that will be directed at me. If she's this excited that she's the king, then it must be bad, like really bad. It most definitely will be something that I am entirely unprepared for and maybe something that will be extremely difficult for me to complete either due to the sheer difficulty of the task or how embarrassing it might be to do it.

"The king's order is absolute, right?" Luna tilted her head slightly and peered into my eyes in a playful and mischievous manner.

"Y-yeah..." I sighed and responded as what she was asking was the truth. The king's order is absolute.

"Then the king's order is—" She paused briefly for effect and stared into my eyes. "—You must stay with me tonight."

Her words were so simple and the message seemingly so easy to interpret, but... why is it that I cannot see through that obscure veil that just seemed to conceal her true intention from me? She uses simple words, but the emotions that she's trying to communicate with these simple words... why must it be so clouded and difficult? It was as if there was a cloud of mist between us, concealing her figure and only occasionally parting so that I may have a glimpse at this beautiful flower. But... why is there such a mist between us? We're so close in distance, yet so far away at the same time. I'm right here next to her, yet I cannot read what she's trying to communicate. Is communication really that difficult that even a heart-to-heart embrace can only simply communicate a general idea and nothing more complex?

"You mean for me to stay here for the entire night?" I asked in search of a clearer confirmation.

A simple nod of her head was my response and that was it. That smile on her face... it did nothing besides providing me with even greater confusion. This caused me to start thinking once again, trying my best to interpret what every thing had meant. It was difficult, extremely so that it was to the point that my head seemed to ache from this workload. But even then, it must continue to analyze and decipher the meaning of everything behind her words, her body posture, and most importantly, her smile. This must be a part of the maturing process, because it would appear that my age is the time where most people suffer from such conditions. It is only when humans reached a certain level of growth and maturity that we realize that we truly do not understand what the other person is trying to communicate.

"Let's stop for the night."

Luna then ended the game right then and there, leaving me no opportunity to try and overturn my fate. The motive behind it all, I do not know. The only thing that I do know is the more literal fact of things, which is that the game has ended and that I will have to stay in this room with her until the next morning.

"Let's go to bed now," she whispered, smiling as she patted my mattress. "You don't mind me sleeping on your bed, do you?"

I shook my head in response, and after seeing my response, Luna lifted the covers up and laid down on the mattress underneath that was covered with a downy bed sheet. Then, she allowed the bed cover to gently fall onto her body and let out a comfortable sigh.

"Can I at least leave to get something to cover myself with while sleeping on the floor?" I inquired the former king.

"No," Luna smiled. "The king's orders are absolute."

"Right..." I frowned and lowered my head, gazing at the circular carpet that occupied the surface above the wooden surface of the open central area of my bedroom.

"Come here."

I heard Luna say to me and I looked up. I saw that she had scooted over to the inside of my bed, leaving a large area open. Based on what she was saying, I assume that she wanted me to sleep in that vacant spot on my double bed.

"T-that's not the most appropriate spot for me," I blushed and looked away to the side. Then I was reminded of the night that I had spent in her hotel room during our school trip. Back then, I declined her offer and instead fell asleep on the couch in the hotel room.

"Are you going to defy the king's order?" she said in a threatening tone.

"The game's already over..."

"So what?" she smiled and her voice and countenance soften. "I was the king last and the order I gave was for you to stay with me. Therefore, you must stay with me."

I guess that command can be interpreted in that manner. But... It still doesn't seem right. For some reason, I'm afraid. This rapidly beating heart in my chest, it was beating fast due to the adrenaline that had generated out of my fear. But what's confusing to me was... what is it that I'm afraid of? It feels as if I sort of know the answer but don't at the same time. It's just so blurry and so hard to concentrate on as it laid at the very depths of my abyss of a flower garden.

"I'm not going to do anything," she whispered. "We're not in that kind of relationship. You're just my companion until I die, so isn't it right for you to spend as much time as possible by my side?"

For some reason, her confirmation of our relationship seemed to quell that frightened beast within me, lulling it back into a slumber. In addition, that answer that I was seeking seemed to disappear along with the question, leaving me simply myself as I stood there considering my options. But... am I truly myself if I ignore what was calling towards me from the depths of my heart? Did the dark flowers within my garden truly drown out every other colored flower?

After turning off the lights, I slowly walked over to my bed. From the faint light that spilled through the curtains, I could see Luna's face in the darkness. On her face was a smile as her eyes seemed to sparkle in the dark. With a deep breath, I climbed onto the bed and rested my body underneath the warm, downy bed covers and my head on one of my two soft pillows with Luna taking the other one.

My bed was simply a double bed, meaning that it wasn't very large. Therefore, when two people are laying down on it, it's necessary for the two to lie close to each other, often at the point where their shoulders seemed to almost touch. For Luna and I, the condition still applied as we laid close together on my bed with our head close to the others. I could feel the back of my left hand brushing against something smooth and soft, and if I had to guess, I believe it was the side of her right thigh. This soft and smooth texture made my heart race, and I was extremely thankful for the darkness since it meant that if I were to have a physical reaction, then it would be extremely difficult to see.

"Alevian," I heard Luna's gentle and soft voice from the pillow to my left. "What're your plans for the future?"

"M-me?" I turned my neck and looked over in her direction. I immediately blushed and became paralyzed as I realized that she was looking right into my eyes and how close our faces were.

"Yeah," she smiled. "I want to know what you're plans are after you graduate high school. Since... you know... I won't be around to see it all."

"Right..." I frowned at the thought of her absence on my graduation. But then... that's inevitable. It's not even certain whether or not Luna would still be alive for her own graduation... "I haven't entirely decided yet, but I guess I'll continue with school and attend our school's affiliated college."

"That's nice," I heard her softly chuckle. "So I guess you're going the traditional route of acquiring a degree and then starting to work?"

"Yeah..."

"What about your future even beyond that?" She then asked. "What would your job be? What type of woman would you like your wife to be? How many kids would you want?"

"I've never thought of all that, but... why're you asking me all that?" I looked over at her out of genuine curiosity as to discover why she wanted me to inform her of my future plans. I had hoped that by looking at her face I would be able to find a clue of some sort, but... I was still unable to read entirely what she meant with that happy smile on her face as she stared up at the ceiling.

"Because I won't be around for all that," she responded in a carefree manner. "I won't be able to have you pay for a meal since you've found yourself a job, won't be able to attend your wedding, and won't be able to celebrate your child's first birthday. I just want to hear about it from you and die knowing that at least I have a general idea of how the rest of your life will go once I'm gone."

That's why...

I immediately understood her intent now that she explained it all in blank terms to me. She won't be able to live long enough to see everybody mature and have families of our own. She must not want to be left out of any of those events, yet she will never make it to one of them. It's just physically impossible with her impending death date... It was only when she forced me to consider a longer time interval that I truly recognized how short her life will be. Her biological clock will stop at around the eighteenth year while ours will continue to run long past that. Even the time we had spent together when put into perspective of the average human lifespan seems minuscule with it only being around two months and exactly how much longer we will have together being an unknown number. These few months that I've spent with her, it's so minuscule when put into perspective yet it holds such a great significance in my life.

Maybe... maybe I should allow myself to communicate to her my true feelings in their entirety. Maybe I shouldn't hide any of it from her and allow her to have access to the unedited version of it all. Maybe I should release the sealed away emotions and allow themselves to be able to be communicated to her. We don't have much time left together and I don't want to have any regrets. Even though the rain clouds have concealed the beautiful moon up above, I know that it's up there. It's actually laying down right next to me. I want the moon to be eternal. I want it to be with me until the end of my life.

"Luna," I finally said aloud after mustering up courage to do so. I turned my neck to look over at her, knowing that if I was to confess it all, I must be looking her in the eye. "I—"

Her eyes were closed and on her face was a content smile. Her breathing was soft and gentle, leading to her chest moving up and down slightly. In her sleep, she appeared to be so calm and tranquil, appearing almost as if a sleeping beauty where she played in the utopia that is her dreams. Like an innocent and pure goddess, she rested their. If death truly is an eternal slumber, then I wish that she will have pleasant dreams. Maybe in that dream of hers, her wishes will come true.

With a sigh, I closed my eyes as well.

My confession for her... I didn't have the opportunity to communicate with her that night. However, I wasn't worried. We still have time together. One day, I'll tell her. One day...