Opening Story - 012

Why did you agree to go on a date with me?

What do you like about me?

With a playful, perhaps devilish, smile on her face, Tayla asked me those loaded questions, as if her only true purpose was to tease me.

"I feel like your making fun of me."

"I'm not making fun of you."

"Is that so?"

"I'm mocking fun of you."

"Okay, I'll admit that almost made me laugh, but it isn't the least bit funny!"

"But seriously, why did you agree to go on a date with me?"

"Huh, well…"

I can't tell her the real reason.

I don't want to lie to her either though. It wouldn't feel right to say something that I don't really mean, just so that she doesn't learn why I really agreed to this.

"Like I said the other day, I didn't have any reason not to."

"That can't be it. There must be a real reason you said yes."

"Isn't it embarrassing to say?"

"Is it? I don't think so."

"You don't? How about you, then? Why did you ask me on a date?"

"Because your kind, I enjoy talking with you, and because you saved me when so many others would've just kept walking."

Damn.

I'd been hoping she wouldn't be able to answer that. I'm surprised she could just say it like that. It made my heart skip a beat. I was being serious when I said I thought it was embarrassing.

Of course, partly I was just trying to avoid answering, but it's true. It's embarrassing, especially when you really mean it.

"Come on, answer me. Or are you still too embarrassed?"

It makes me feel bad, but I need to tell her something. Even if I don't entirely mean it. I can't tell her the reason why I agreed to this. I can't tell her my plan.

But I need to tell her something so that that plan isn't revealed. Though, I guess it isn't a complete lie.

"Like I said, I didn't have any reason not to. Your cute, your kind, your funny, and your intelligent. What other reason do I need?"

After I say that, Tayla turns away and looks down. Her face is red. She looks really cute like that. She opens her mouth, but I don't hear what she says.

"What was that?"

"…embarrassing…"

"Huh?"

"I didn't think you'd actually say something that embarrassing!"

"You're the one who asked me to!"

After our noodle bowl lunch, we made our way back to the area around the bus exchange. We went through a few more stores, but we'd already been through most of what we wanted to. Even though it hadn't really been that long, it was still only about three, we left the town centre.

Although Tayla was a bit surprised, she agreed to me taking her home.

"Huh? You don't have to, I'm sure I'll be fine," she'd said.

"It doesn't bother me. We don't live too far apart, so I can just walk from yours."

"You really don't have to."

"No, I'd feel bad if I didn't. This is the least I can do."

"Well, if you put it like that…" Tayla conceded in the end.

So, we both got on the bus toward Tayla's place. Even though we do live somewhat close to each other, it's a different bus from the one that I took to get into town. I already know from last weekend, how to get from Tayla's house to mine, so that isn't an issue.

"So…"

I look over at Tayla after hearing her start to speak.

"…did you run away from home, or something?"

Her question startles me. It makes me jump in my seat beside her.

"Sorry. You don't have to answer that."

"No, it's fine… it just surprised me."

She waits for me to respond.

"Yes, I ran away from home."

"Do you not like your parents?"

"I wasn't living with my parents. My mother's dead, and my father works somewhere far away. I was staying with relatives of his."

"Hmm… what made you want to run away?"

She really isn't shy, is she? Asking questions like this.

"I guess… I didn't really feel like I had a place there. It felt like the only reason they let me stay with them was for my father's money."

"Is your father rich?"

"I guess so."

Tayla understood that that was the end of the conversation.

I shouldn't have said even that much. I told her too much. It all just came out, I never meant to tell her all of that.

All of my past.

That was supposed to be kept in the darkest recesses of my mind, never to surface again. That isn't me. That's all I left behind.

And yet, I told her so easily.

Perhaps I wanted to tell her. That I felt like I needed to tell someone.

What's the saying?

'Share to lighten the load', I think it was.

Maybe some part of me wanted to lighten the load. To tell Tayla all of the parts of myself that I'd tried to leave behind. But, I can't. All I can do, is shove them down deeper and deeper.

I don't want her to know. The reason I ran away was to get away from my past. If I tell the first person that I've built a real connection with here about it, then there was no point to any of it.

"I shouldn't have asked that."

"No, it's fine," I reply, "just… it isn't something I like talking about. It's not… something I want people to know about."

"Do you plan to go back to your father's relatives at all?"

"No. It's obvious none of them care enough. Not even my father. They would've found me by now if they really wanted to."

"I see…"

That's her only response. I don't blame her. I wouldn't know what to say either. It probably doesn't help that I'm starting to sound a little angry as well.

I'm not angry. Just agitated.

I take in a deep breath to calm myself down. In, then out.

"I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to get angry."

"No, it's fine. You don't have anything that you need to apologise for."

I do though. It isn't fair on Tayla at all for me to get angry at her after that. I should've just refused to have the conversation in the first place, if that was what was going to happen. My bad, Tayla.