Behind That Cold Attitude

[This is the start of me giving chapter dedication for my readers. Today, I would like to dedicate this chapter to Jyojiko for being the first person to give me a gift for this newly-contracted book. Thank you so much!]

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When I went back to the castle after Ariella and I got our supplies for our upcoming magical experiment, I happen to pass by the captain of the magic army as soon as I was done dressing as the prince and master wizard.

Just when did he get back here?! 

He was sulking in the lobby, absorbed in his own deep thoughts, as he quietly sits on the sofa. I remember my goal of apologizing to him for what happened yesterday, but seeing like this makes me want to back out now.

Yet, I know I have to.

Gathering all my courage, I heaved out a sigh before proceeding to walk towards the lad. He wasn't able to feel my presence until I sat beside him.

"What are you doing here?" he said, his tone emitting some coldness in it as usual.

"I saw you sulking here, so I decided to come here and see if you\re okay," I stated, which he only responded with the clicking of his tongue.

"You're not the prince, dummy," he stated it as a matter of fact in a hushed voice.

Somehow it hurts my ego knowing that he really didn't think of me as one of his friends in the first place. But I let it slide and tried to shove these negative thoughts away.

"I'm here as your friend, idiot." I shot back. "You know, when something bothers you that much, don't you think it is best to confide it with someone you trust just to ease your pain? Even if it's not me, for example… Lucas or Lancelot."

"They wouldn't understand," he immediately replied. "No one does."

"Then try me," His head went up when I suddenly challenged him. "You'll never know."

There was a long moment of silence after my last statement, that it now questions me if he really wanted to talk to me right now or not. Anyway, I decided to interrupt it by taking this opportunity to do my goal.

Letting out a sigh, I turned to look at him once more and said, "I'm sorry by the way… for you know… meddling with things that I don't have any idea about." 

That made his eyes went up from spending too much time looking at the ground, like it's the most fascinating thing he had seen for today.

"I know it's kind of rude to ask, and for that… I really apologize."

His head then went back to meet my gaze, with his eyes squinting at me.

"Tell me, why are you so nice to me? Even after all the things I've done to you previously, you're still like that," 

I was surprised to hear him getting pissed with my current attitude. I mean, what's wrong with that? My parents taught me to be nice even to those people who are not doing the same thing to me.

"Let's say… my parents taught me how to be like that," I replied, smiling all of a sudden upon remembering my childhood memories with them while my father is still alive.

"And besides, I'm already used to your indifferent attitude so it's really not a big deal to me anymore." I quickly added. A light chuckle escaped his lips.

After that brief conversation I had with him there was another round of heavy and awkward silence that made me felt uncomfortable. Should I be the one to start another topic for the second time around?!

"I didn't abandon my troops…" 

I was a little bit surprised when I heard him talked all of a sudden, finally breaking the silence between us. But his eyes avoided having minimal eye contact with me and focused his gaze on nothing as he continued with his narration.

Smiling, I proceeded with listening to his story--- to let him know that there is someone who is so willing to listen to all of his problems.

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-ALEX-

"I didn't abandon my troops… I managed to bring the remaining of them back here, but I was  the only one left alive from the five of us."

While staring into nothing, I decided to finally open up this topic that I thought I wouldn't find myself sharing with anyone else other than Prince Arthur himself.

Well, technically speaking, this girl sitting beside me is in the prince's outfit, so I would just like to assume that she is indeed the prince. 

I don't know what kind of magic does she have, but she lets me feel comfortable when I'm around her.

Like I could be just me without trying to please anybody or act tough around other people.

Going back with my reminiscing  I can still clearly remember the day when the war in Sodor broke out in the borderlines of Gilead and that country… as if it just happened yesterday. 

Every night, it would still occasionally haunt me in my dreams.

I could still clearly picture myself out in the midst of explosions and the severe exchanges of magic attacks from both sides. 

Sodor is the closest country next to Gilead, yet its former monarch leader: King Esmond II treated our country as a rival in terms of production and magic prowess. Thus it occurred to him to invade our place.

Prince Arthur at that time was at a quest, if I could still remember it. That is why the king took this opportunity to invade our country.

My eyes started to sting as soon as I saw many of my men were already dead from their fatal attacks. We haven't anticipated that the enemy side would be this strong as we originally thought.

Before the war officially broke out, we were already ambushed by several Sodorians which killed almost one-fourth of my men with their magic weapons  Only a few of us have already left.

"Keep your guards up!" I declared, eyeing the whole place. We are in the midst of Misty Forest-- which stands in the middle of the borders of the two countries. 

As we press forward, more soldiers from Sodor kept coming towards us, camouflaging themselves at first so that we weren't able to see them immediately.

More of my men got killed, but some of us-- including me-- also killed hundreds of them as well.

Until such time that there are only five of us left standing in the area. I was blaming myself at that time for being an incompetent and inexperienced leader of the magic army.

"C-Captain Alex…." I shifted my gaze to the lad who called out my name while we hide from the enemies for a while

I could still clearly remember his name. He was one of my men whom I came to be close with.

Peter. Peter Vandall.

His hands were shaky when he suddenly reached out a white envelope at me. He is one of my men left who is seriously injured right now. One of us is desperately trying to heal his wounds.

My forehead wrinkled after seeing him reaching me out something like this.

"What is this?" I asked, pertaining to his purpose of giving this to me.

"If I can't make it out alive here, I would like you to give this to my childhood friend back at Gilead. I wasn't able to send her this last time, and I'm sure she is waiting for my letters every month." His eyes are pleading as he looked at me.

"Please… give it to her."

My brows snapped together.

"No! I will make sure to bring all of you back int Gilead alive!"

But then his hands suddenly dropped and his eyes permanently closed all of a sudden in the middle of our conversation. His lips were already pale and his skin as well, like life was just sucked out of him.

Yet still, I did not give up. All of my men remaining are getting weak as time passes by. Instead of proceeding to fight, I decided to begin chanting the teleportation spell to teleport us all back to Gilead 

Upon arriving, I was carrying all five of them with me at the back when I suddenly lost consciousness.

And the moment I opened my eyes once again, both great and devastating news was the first one to greet me and was also surprised to see Prince Arthur already sitting beside me in a bedroom chair when I thought he was still out for his quest.

He then told me that he was able to stop Sodor from totally entering the country, but the news came out next from his mouth that all of the men I brought wasn't able to survive with their severe wounds and internal bleeding caused by our enemies.

Since then, I started to avoid everyone so that I could avoid the subject being talked about as well….

Snapping my thoughts back to the present time, I heard the girl spoke beside me.

"Have you already given the letter to Peter's best friend?"

"No…" I said and made a long, pronounced sigh. "Prince Arthur strictly prohibited me to go near the soldiers' family and loved ones. He said it would be best if I won't be seeing them and have myself blame for all that happened back there."

"But you still have it with you, right?" 

My forehead puckered as I turned to look at her. 

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

This girl only smiled as her response. Sometimes I don't get her if she is acting like this.

"I may have an idea who is Peter's best friend, and if you are not allowed to bring the letter to her… then there's no harm if I would do the job for you, right?" she said while grinning at me widely.

*Badump… badump…*

I felt my chest pound loudly just now the moment I saw her smile at me like that. My cheeks are also burning as well.

What is wrong with me?!

Shaking these thoughts away, I suddenly stood up from my seat and stated that I'm off for a while to get the letter she wants to have. She only nodded as her response.

Yet before totally leaving here, I decided to glance over my shoulder-- as if remembering something that I should say to her all of a sudden.

"I would also like to apologize for how I acted yesterday…" I awkwardly said. To be honest, I am not really used to say such things.

"... and thank you, for being here with me today. I feel great after having this meaningful conversation with you."

Okay, enough of these small pep talks! 

Before I could utter any other nonsense words here, I hastily left the lobby just like that.