16

1975, 26 December.

He hated it.

He hated them. He most of hall hated her, his mother was what she was supposed to be, yet she never acted like it- he hated her so much, he wished her dead. She meant nothing to him, just as he knew he meant nothing to her with how much she would hurt him. He hated feeling this way, feeling so alone in a place that he was supposed to call home.

Sirius Orion Black has had enough.

Was there any real reason to stay here anymore? He just didn't belong. He was the only Gryffindor in his family, a disappointment, a 'waste' of space- a disgrace to the name Black. He was the only son his parents weren't proud of. That they just couldn't expect him for who he was. He didn't want to change who he was. He was Sirius Black, and he wanted to walk his own path, not the one that he was expected to walk as a future Lord Black.

His parents had already dug their claws deep in Regulus and Polaris- his baby brothers. They were long gone and too deep to pull out, with them following the stupid ideology of their parents. Sirius wasn't like them, the only non-bigoted, purist freak, freak.

He had gotten into another argument with his father. Then his mother decided it was the perfect time to bring up his grades! He hadn't even done bad, but yet she was screaming at him like some banshee.

A passing grade included, Outstanding (O), Exceeds Expectations (E), Acceptable (A) and A failing grade included Poor (P), Dreadful (D), Troll (T). He failed nothing, yet she was still angry at him. At this point, she was looking for just any little thing to scold him for- he was sick of it

'O' in Transfiguration.

'O' in Charms.

'A' in Potions.

'E' in History of Magic.

'O' in Defence Against the Dark Arts.

'A' in Astronomy.

'E' in Herbology.

'O' in Care of Magical Creatures.

'E' in Study of Ancient Runes.

He did good! He got 4 Outstandings, 3 Exceeds Expectations and just 2 Acceptables. Then she decided to compare him to his brothers, Regulus and Polaris, who got way more Outstanding. She was infuriating. It was completely different! Regulus was a fourth year, and Polaris was in his BLOODY FIRST YEAR, so what more did she want?!

"You're an embarrassment to the House of Black, a Blood Traitor! Even that filthy Halfblood that regulus has befriended is a Slytherin with an understanding of our ways! Why are you shaming me? Why do you enjoy embarrassing this House!?" His mother shouted at him.

Of course, his mother didn't care that someone could have died… she cared more about the family image. Besides, the whole Snivellus thing was an accident. Sirius wasn't even sure what he was thinking. He was just so tired and annoyed with the damn Slytherin sticking his nose where it didn't belong. Always following and targeting them.

He was annoying, so of course, Snivellus decided to start sneaking around to find out what was wrong with Mooney. The prat was trying to get them expelled or something, trying to figure out what they were doing, then the idiot Snape decided to start hitting at Sirius that he knew. Perhaps Sirius should have handled it differently instead of telling him to press the knot.

Snape goes to the willow and presses the knot, and in the meantime, Sirius had told James that he told Snape to press it. Thnakfully, James ran down to the Willow and managed to get Snape out of the tunnel in time.

"Sirius, do you understand the situation?" His father spoke.

"Yes", Sirius gritted out, "Then tell me!" his father shouted. You could see the raging vein on his forehead. His father was so angry at him. At least his father actually cared that someone could have died, unlike his mother, who was embarrassed.

"Someone could have died," Sirius stated shamefully. "Yes, Sirius. Someone could have died, thankfully, he didn't. I'm beyond tired of this, and I'm sure you are too. You've learned your lesson haven't you?" his father spoke again. He really did sound tired. His mother stood there glaring at him. She looked like she was ready to go on a rant again.

Sirius nodded his head, "Yes, father." He said, "Right, just go to your room." His father spoke again, and Sirius felt relief and was glad that his father had stopped his mother from her 'torture' earlier.

He turned to leave but was grabbed by his mother. He yanked her grip off, "Leave! You're letting this ungrateful brat leave! You have to punish him. Do you not care that your blood traitor son has decided to ruin our reputation?!" Walburga screamed at her husband. Sirius' heart was pounding fast as he waited for what his father had to say.

"You've done enough, haven't you?! You broke his bloody arm, woman! Just look at him!" Orion shouted.

She completely ignored his father and turned to him, and Sirius stood straighter as he glared back at her, "Do you not have anything to say for yourself?" she sneered at him.

He was silent for a moment before responding, "Yes, yes, I do have something to say for myself." He responded lightly, "I don't bloody care if what I do ruins your 'precious' reputation- to hell with this family! I fucking hate you and your stupid ideas. I hate this house, I hate this fucking family and most of all, I hate you 'mother'."

His head turned to the side as the sound sounded throughout the hallway, she had slapped him, and ut hurt too fucking much.

Polaris could hear the shouting, hearing the voice of his mother and brother. He wasn't at all surprised. It was just what they did. Thye wouldn't be them if they weren't arguing, would they? He was just slightly concerned that Sirius would say something that would warrant a painful punishment. He couldn't exactly hear what they were saying, but he just knew his brother was obviously in trouble.

He was nosy… that he could not refute. He walked closer to the noise to see Regulus himself standing at the corner. Perhaps nosiness ran in the family.

"We would have been better off with just Regulus and Polaris", he heard his mother snap.

"Maybe you guys are just better off with just having Regulus and Polaris around! I'm obviously not welcome here, nor do I enjoy staying here. I'm honestly done with you! I'm done with this, the Potters treat me more like family, yet you struggle to actually act like a mother!" Sirius yelled.

Polaris stilled at the words.

It was quiet. His mother didn't respond, nor could he see what her reaction was. He knew she could care less. He rounded the corner to see his father walk away while Sirius ad their mother was still standing there.

Breaking the silence, Sirius spoke again, "The Potters are okay with me living with them. They won't try to force me to worship some pathetic dark lord."

He heard his mother start laughing.

"Sirius, I swear to Merlin, if you start living with those Blood traitors, you will no longer be able to wear the name of Black in honour. I will personally see it to have your name removed myself," she hissed.

Sirius scoffed, "Sounds like a plan then, Lady Black", Sirius answered haughtily.

Sirius strode out of the room in a rage, having just had a heated conversation with his 'mother'.

As he turned the corner, he happened to bump into something, rather someone.

Swallowing the anger he had built up, he licked his dry lips hesitantly before opening them again to speak.

"Pol… Reg", he whispered under his breath, knowing since Polaris and Regulus were standing there, then he had heard the whole conversation. His mother and himself were never what you would call 'quiet'.

Polaris stared up at him with an unreadable expression, he wanted to say something- anything at all, but he was frozen. Did Sirius truly hate this family so much that he was willing to be disowned?

As much as it felt as though time had completely stopped, time decided to continue on. Sirius sent an apologetic look down towards Polaris, where he stood with nothing to be said from either of them and then proceeded to walk around him, leaving the boy in a daze.

Where he was stood, Polaris could hear his heart pounding as the footsteps got further and further as Sirius continued on his way. He was confused. That was all he was going to get? Just a 'Pol'. From gazing up into Sirius's eyes, he knew that Sirius knew himself that he knew what had just occurred and settled with just saying 'Pol'.

Finally gaining the courage to move, he turned around, staring at Sirius's back as he continued onward, with the intent of going after him- calling out for him. Just as Polaris took a step forward towards his brother, a hand stopped him, stopping him in motion.

He knew exactly what it was once the hand was placed on his shoulder. He turned his head to the side the hand was placed on and met his mother's eyes, warning him to stop what he was just about to do.

"You will not go after him. He has made his choice." She spoke with a hiss. Her gaze was different from her usual stern look. He could feel hate from it. What type of mother was she?

Just as she spoke to him, his body froze up again. His mind wanted him to listen to his mother. She knew best, right? Did she know what she was doing? Was this a test? He found himself annoyed at himself for questioning her authority but at the same time annoyed for wanting to listen to her.

'He made his choice' her words rang in his head as he watched Sirius walk away. Confusion clouding his judgment.

Just as he stared right into his mothers' eyes, something caught his attention from the corner of his eyes. Shifting his eyes, he saw his other brother, Regulus, stood not too far away with a clenched jaw staring down the hallway Sirius had just walked through.

Was Regulus not going to do anything? Say anything to mother? Go after Sirius?

Polaris lightly scoffed. What was he thinking? He knew what Regulus was like. He wouldn't do any of those things.

Regulus would just stand there and do nothing like he always did. It was pathetic.

Shrugging the hand off his shoulder, he took a step back from his mother and looked at her with distrustful eyes, his back facing the hallway Sirius had left through, moving his gaze to both Regulus and his mother.

"You're just going to let this happen? Do you know what he's like? He'll definitely leave! Are you really going to allow him?" Polaris spoke, his voice as light as could be, hoping he would get the response he wanted, but deep down, there was a voice telling him otherwise.

"Do you really think Sirius would listen to anything I have to say- if you think he'll listen to you, you're delusional, and he has the gall to call me a 'coward'," Regulus spat out in heated rage before storming off in the other direction, leaving the corridor with just an uncaring Walburga and a confused Polaris.

Polaris turned his gaze to his mother, who was standing there staring at him with an unrecognisable look, "…Please just tell him to stay, mother." Polaris whispered with pleading eyes. She was the one that caused the situation. She should be able to fix it.

Her lips thinned in a line as she stared down at her youngest. She narrowed her eyes before speaking, "It seems you have been spending too much time with Sirius, seeing as you're acting in such away. Don't you see how that boy is spoiling the name of Black? He is better off living in the zoo."

With that said, she herself walked away, leaving Polaris alone in the hallway with a conflicted mind.

After a few moments stood in the hall in groaned loudly, his frustration echoing throughout the corridor, with his hands gripping onto his hair.

It was no wonder why his father had silencing charms around his office to avoid the noise this family always seemed to make at any moment in time.

After standing in the hallway, he headed straight toward his room, completely done with his dysfunctional family. All he could ever wish for was a normal family, one where fights wouldn't arise so easily from every single thing.

He was laid in bed staring up at his ceiling, his mind completely empty.

His focus was broken when the door was bashed opened. Polaris quickly sat up on his bed, turning his attention towards his door that was just closed to see a furious Sirius standing in his room.

His brows furrowed at was he was looking at. It was obvious Sirius was beyond angry with how dangerously his eyes were narrowed- but why was this 'anger' being directed at him, was he truly angry at him right now?

Polaris noticed how Sirius had a few bruises scattered around his bare arms and a few that decorated his face. He could see how his lip was busted, blood seeping through, but what stood out more what how his left arm looked very different from his right- was it broken? He hadn't noticed it before.

He looked worse than how he had looked like not too long ago in the hallway.

Sirius calmed down, taking deep breaths with his eyes closed before grey clashed with grey. He stared at Polaris for a few seconds before he finally spoke.

"I came to say goodbye, Pol." That was what Sirius said.

Goodbye. He was really going.

Polaris, still trying to get the words around his head, stayed quiet.

"Why are you even still here? Shouldn't you have run away by now?" Polaris added in hopeless frustration. That was this Sirius's way of cutting ties with him before he left.

"Runaway? Is that how you see this? I'm not running away, Polaris," Sirius answered with a slight frown appearing on his face.

Polaris sighed as he stepped back to sit on his bed, looking up to Sirius. "Oh? Then what do you call it then?"

"… Escaping from mother."

Polaris let out a scoff, "Really? Mother decided to do this to you-" he waved his hands down towards Sirius' tattered frame.

"I highly doubt that's the only reason, sure you 'hate' this family. Besides, you always do something to have mother do stuff like this to you. It's your fault." Polaris continued.

"Oh, so you're implying that I did something to warrant this? Pol, look at me! Whatever the reason, do you really think mo- that woman has the right to do this to me! POL, MY ARM IS BROKEN!"

Polaris flinched at his accusing tone. Sirius was right. It didn't matter what he did wrong. She shouldn't have gone to this extent like she always did.

"You're still leaving then" Came Polaris's reply after the moment of silence following Sirius's outburst.

Sirius sighed in frustration, "Yes, Pol… I'm leaving."

With that, silence spread across the room once again. As Polaris was seated where he was as Sirius was stood aimlessly in his brother's room, the silence unbearably awkward, with nothing to say on either part of the party.

Sirius finally decided to break the silence, knowing he didn't want to end things with just that and spoke, "Polaris?"

Polaris turned his gaze towards his brother and hummed in response.

"Come with me."

Just as the words left Sirius's mouth, Polaris frowned, not allowing himself time to think before spitting words back at Sirius "Come with you? Are you bloody mad, Sirius? Just stay! Why the hell would I want to leave!?"

"Why would you want to leave? Are you really asking me that, don't you see it- to be away from them! Pol, she broke my arm!"

"Be away from them? Who, Sirius, who should I be away from?! And you could easily just fix it with a spell!" Polaris cried out in rage.

"With a spell? So, every time I get hurt, I should just use a spell, Polaris. I shouldn't have to use a spell! I shouldn't be getting hurt in the first place! Just leave with me," Sirius yelled back.

Polaris slightly trembled in frustration, "You want me to leave my family- 'our' family?" he whispered.

"Why are you so stupid?" Polaris mumbled to himself in disdain.

He finally looked up, his eyes blaring in rage, not wanting to listen to a thing Sirius had to say. He couldn't just leave like that, just as Sirius planned to do, could he?

"You think everything is so easy, don't you, Sirius? You always want everything to go your way, you act like you are above everyone else, and you discard other people's feelings because obviously, to you, your own feelings are the only thing that matters in this world- in your world! Time and time again, I've heard you call Regulus a Coward- then what exactly are you then? You're running away, aren't you? Didn't you say running was for the weak? Now here you are contradicting yourself. If you really aren't a coward, why can't you just stay and fight for what you believe in? I don't bloody care if you're a blood traitor, Sirius! Just stay. You are the heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Why can't you act like it? Do you even know what it means? It means one day you will be leading our family. You can change things, Sirius, change it to how you see fit… just don't run away".

"I can't", Sirius whispered.

Polaris looked up in shock, tears still streaming down his eyes, "What do you mean you can't?" Polaris questioned.

"You're right. I'm the heir- no, I was the heir to the house of Black- one day, I could have been Lord Black. I could fix this and make it right… but I can't wait that long, not with mother, father and the rest of the family still around. Besides, it's too late. If you think I'm going to go back crawling to that woman, then you're out of your mind. Father doesn't even care. He just walked away like I didn't just say I was leaving." Sirius said in annoyance.

"… Look, Pol, I'd still be your brother, even if the rest of the family won't see me as a Black anymore unless you'll side with them," Sirius added.

Polaris just shrugged his shoulders, refusing to look at Sirius again.

"Maybe I will", Polaris whispered.

"Ahh, come on, Pol", Sirius huffed out as he moved closer, putting his uninjured arm onto his younger brother should, only for it to be shrugged off.

"Just leave." Polaris simply said, not wanting any more of this. He was crying, he never cried, and he hated it. He didn't need Sirius to think him weak because he wasn't- he didn't need Sirius. He had Regulus. Regulus would never just leave like that.

Perhaps Regulus is stronger than Sirius. Polaris was only now seeing it. Everything changed with Sirius gone. Regulus was the watchful eyes of the family, expecting more than before from him. Regulus was to fill Sirius' shoes. He was to be the next Lord after their father.

His mother was rather happy with it all, not caring at all she had blasted her son of their family tapestry. He wasn't too sure what his father felt about it all, but he knew his father and mother weren't on best terms at the moment, with the rise of arguments between them.