Pokemon: living the life of a Team Rocket grunt isn't so bad

Cold... It's so cold.

As my body is lying down with its life slowly slipping away. I look up and see the face of the cause of all of this, this annoying shit face.

It's one of the 1000's I used to bully. This motherfucker finally had the balls to come do some shit.

So about this guy. His name is Mark and he has a hot mom and they are fucking loaded

So I started bullying him to get some easy quick cash, and lord behold cash he had

I would bully him in any way possible, you name it I've done it.

Wedgie, wet willy, plain casual beating, blackmail, harassment, extortion, and then one day I started pestering him about his mom.

I wanted nudes from her and he's gonna be my ticket to that

So I went overboard with beating him and threatened him that if he wanted the bully to stop, he better get me a nude pic of her.

One day he couldn't handle it anymore

So he gave in. I finally got my hands on her now.

So I lessened the bullying on him and told him if he wanted this to continue just give me half of the money you were giving me before and more nude pics of his mom

And so he did.

Then one day I figured I had enough nudes to start blackmailing the mom... And so I did. Best choice of my life and I will soon tell you why. Cause god that mother had the tightest and best pussy I've ever had.

Anyway I skipped school and went to her house after taking the keys from Mark of course

Told him I'm only gonna joy ride his motorcycle so shut the fuck up and give me the keys.

So I barged in, pinned her down showed her all the nude pics of her and the pics of Mark being badly beaten up and bullied.

Told her if she wanted the bully to stop and prevent her pics from being leaked all over the internet and the school. Then she better listen to what I want.

After some convincing and threats, she finally gave in, and I finally had my way with her.

This continued for months until one day she got pregnant.

I guess that motherfucker must've figured out who got her pregnant or maybe she finally told him. Either way, I think I must have pissed off the kid. He disappeared for a whole week

And fucking came back with an Ak-47!! An Ak-47!?? Jesus fuck man where the fuck did you even get that! You could just fuck my mom back or something

But no!, the first thing he does is come to my class and start raining down bullets on me and then look down on me with the most disgusting smug face I've ever seen.

And that ladies and gentlemen is how my current predicament came to be. It's cold and I'm fucking dying and on top of that I'm being stared down by this disgusting piece of shit... Fuck my life.

Bam!

[System integration process initiating][Current progress bar 1%]

What the fuck?

[Current progress bar 4%]

What the fuck?

[Current progress bar 12%]

I SAID! WHAT... THE.. FUCK!

[Current progress bar 24%]

Alright listen here you piece shit

I had just about enough of you

Just lemme get up from here and I'll-

Wait... What I can't move my body... Or more like I don't have a body... Wait hold didn't I die?

[Current progress bar 48%]

You're not helping.

[Current progress bar 55%]

Anyways lemme figure this shit out

So I died and the last thing I saw was his dumb face, the last thing I heard was the gunshot

And the last thing I thought about was how his mother's puss-

[Current progress bar 64%]

Right focus focus

So anyway that must mean I'm dead and this is the afterlife or something... I think

But what the hell is this system thing then?

[Current progress bar 84%]

Wonder what happens when it reaches 100%. Guess I have no choice but to wait and see what happens.

In the meantime 1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep

[Current progress bar 90%]

4 sheep 5 sheep 6 sheep

[Current progress bar 95%]

7 sheep 8 sheep 9 sheep 10 shee-

[PING!]

Ouch, my ears!

[system integration process complete]

[The Pokemon system has successfully been integrated]

[Now booting up system]

Pokemon system? You mean like those things that nerds play and watch

I remember the fucker Mark trying to get me to play Pokemon

Went on and on about his favorite Pokemon and Pokemon types and how some gang called Rocker or something is his favored. It's how I first met him and wanted to beat the living shit out of him in the first place, I spared him tho because the rocker gang looked okay at least

But then he told me he could buy me a switch and play Pokemon together

After that, I couldn't resist

The motherfucker was loaded

And he's practically begging me to rob him. And so I did.

[System booted]

[Please select the lifestyle you wish to start at]

...

1: Pokemon Trainer

2: Pokemon Breeder

3: Pokemon Doctor/Nurse

4: Pokemon Officer

5: Pokemon Researcher

6: Pokemon Gang member

Uh.. God damn it mark this your fault

You should have gone more in-depth about these things! I don't know what any of these are and what they do...

Okay no wait some of them are kinda obvious

One heals Pokemon uhh the other one is a police of some sort I guess

Uhh, what's a Pokemon breeder?

What do you even do? Do you breed Pokemon? Omg wait that's a profession? Do you fuck Pokemon for a living? Jesus Christ, I thought it was a kid's show

I'm not a furry thank you, so definitely not option 2, Definitely not option 3, and option 4

So now that leaves options 1, 5, and, 6

I guess Pokemon Trainer is all about training Pokemon... Seems pretty standard

Probably the best choice.

Pokemon researcher... I guess you research Pokemon?... I don't know

And I don't care either, seems pretty fucking boring.

Pokemon gang member? I guess that's where the rocker gang comes from

Seems pretty decent

What do I do tho?

Steal pokemon? What else?, do I get to rob people and their belongings? That would be pretty cool got some experience with that.

And I guess they must be pretty metal too since they call them self rocker gang.

Ehh I guess I'll go with option 6

How do I do that tho?

*ahem* I choose option 6, mighty system!

Ping!

[Host has chosen the gang member lifestyle]

[Does the host wish to proceed?]

[yes] or [no]

Yes

[Host has chosen the gang member lifestyle. Please choose the corresponding crime organization.]

1: Team Rocket

2: Team Magma

3: Team aqua

4: Team Galactic

5: Team Plasma

6: Team Flare

7: Team Skull

[Warning choosing a crime organization will lock you in their corresponding region]

Holy shit I didn't expect that there would be a lot of gangs. And what's this about regions?

Are they all in a different country or something? Shit I don't know any of the Pokemon regions

Nor do I know any of these gangs

Wait no that's not important

What's important is it's actually called Team Rocket and not Rocker Gang or Team Rocker

So I guess they aren't metal then?

Ow well they still cool tho

All black is just my style

I don't know about any other gang but they get a plus 1 just for drip alone.

Well fuck it thinking too hard about it will just hurt my head, so I'm gonna go ahead and choose team rocket

And if I'm somehow fucked by that choice

I'll just blame Mark and fuck his mom in his dreams

That should teach him.

mighty system I choose option 1! Team rocket.

[host has chosen Team Rocket]

[host will now be region-locked in the Kanto region]

[does the host wish to proceed]

[yes] [no]

Kanto region? Aight bet.

Yes! I wish to proceed.

Ping!

[host has successfully chosen the Team Rocket crime organization]

[Region: Kanto]

[please fill out host information down below]

[Name] - ....

[Age] - ....

[Height] -.....

[sex] - male/female

[everything else will be randomly generated]

Hmm I guess I'll go with my original name

Odin.

I'm 18

I was 185cm tall before I died

And I don't think that's a bad height so why not

I'll go with 188cm

Obviously, I'm a male

[does the host wish to confirm these choices?]

Odin: Yes!

Ping!

[name: Odin]

[age: 18]

[Height: 188cm]

[sex: male]

[region: kanto]

[occupation: team rocket grunt]

[is the host satisfied with these answer?]

Odin: yes

[do you wish to confirm?]

[Warning once confirmed cannot be taken back or changed!]

Odin: yes I confirm

[good luck host on your journey into Pokemon world]

Odin: yeah thanks but how does this work work anyway? Do I just get-

WOOSH!!

Odin: HOLY FUCK I'M GONNA PUKE! AT LEAST GIVE ME A WARNING! YOU PIECE OF SHI-

WOOSH!!

and then I blacked out.