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Pokemon: Coffee, Hex, and Yanderes (Haitus)

----------------------------------- A Madman's Musings are not to be ignored. A Madman's Musings are to be avoided. The Veil beyond the stars are calling, Alex. Will you answer? Or will you drown in despair like the rest of them? They will make you happy, Alex... ...Whether you want it or not. ----------------------------------- This is how the story of an Emperor, An Admin, And a God began. Godspeed, Alex Juniper, Godspeed.

Dumby_3054 · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
6 Chs

A Madman’s Jealousy (Rewritten)

(REWRITE INBOUND LOL)

(A/N: I wanted a good Poke-Fic. Couldn't find one that was either not longer than ten chapters or any other in foreign languages. So, here I am again motherfuckers.)

Ah, Good old Washington.

The USA's very own capital city.

And a very particularly strange branch of its military. An R&D Department if you will.

"And that's why clinical testing on human subjects should be approved!" My coworker ranted.

My Co-worker, Denver Hails, is one of the, if not the most, VAIN, JEALOUS, and EGOTISTICAL scientist… well…

Ever.

Yes, I hate him. But for good reason!

This all started approximately three hours ago.

Our own branch of portal tech that I have dubbed 'Void-Tech' was close to completion. We ran the first few tests a couple of weeks ago, all of them successful.

Denver was someone that leaned more closely towards 'Mad Scientist' than a researcher.

He always hinted about wanting Human trials for its testing, but we all knew that would be incredibly illegal, and none of us wanted to lose our jobs.

Not Denver though, that crazy fuck.

At some point, he started eyeing me like I was some kind of chemical on his lab coat. Later that day Jenny admitted to telling him about my major in college, Art.

Now, for a normal person it would be incredibly hard to get hired into the US Government as a scientist with a Masters Degree in Art, but because of a few… 'Conversations' I had with them they had no choice but to let me in.

I mean, though don't regret that decision because I basically gave the Military fucking Gundams!

…Japan doesn't like me very much.

*cough* sorry, getting off-topic. Again, from the top!

This all started three hours ago.

The Void-Tech Wormhole was up and running, ready for the final test of the night.

"Parameters stable, Dimensional Co-ordinates secure and prepped! It's ready to go, James!" Jenny announced from the command center.

I gave a thumbs up to the camera, my lab coat fluttering from the worm-holes stabilization.

I tapped my Walkman Recorder. Had the thing since I was a kid. I placed a modified cassette I made for recording audio, and hit play.

"Hey, James here. This is test number… five-hundred and sixty-seven. Everything seems stable so far. Right now, is our first human test, with the President's approval of course."

I nodded to the Older man sitting in the command center near Jenny, some agents hidden around the room.

I slipped into the modified radiation suit, and continued talking.

"We set the Co-ordinates to those from the closest research center in Florida. The other eggheads down south are probably planning a party, heh." I chuckled.

Florida and their parties, I swear.

"It's all you now James." I muttered.

I casually strolled towards the spiraling portal, a seen normally only found in sci-fi movies. But I'm making it real!

God, I'm so excited!

But of course, that is when things started to go downhill.

"JAMES!" Jenny screamed from the intercom.

"Huh?" I twirled around,

*Bang!*

before I felt a burning pain in my arm, "Gah!" I held my forearm, a visible hole going straight through it.

…I couldn't feel my hand.

"Hehe… Hahaha! Finally!" Denver laughed madly, his eyes showing nothing but disgust and the complete lack of sanity.

"Denver! What the FUCK are you doing you psycho!" I yelled, down on one knee. He just laughed. The crazed smile never left his face.

"You… *huff* made a DAMN MOCKERY OF ME! YOU FAKER!" He screamed in rage.

"Is- Is this because I'm a goddamn art major?!" I yelled in indignation. I couldn't help but feel angry. This motherfucker.

This psychotic, vain, jealous, egotistical MotherFucker right here,

Is he mad because I was a damn ART MAJOR?!

Jenny was yelling something through the intercoms, but I couldn't hear her over the frantic beating of my own heart, pounding like a drum in my ears.

"Well… not anymore! You'll be gone, and I'll finally be the best! HahAhAHAHAHAHAHAHA-!" He reached down, before aiming at one of the exposed wirings of its frame with his gun.

*Bang!*

He shot.

It hit its mark, causing it to go haywire. The parameters began to fluctuate, the portal slowly becoming unstable.

The door Denver shot from slammed shut, its emergency lock mechanism activating to try and contain the incoming explosion of energy.

Denver, the damn psychopath, just waved from the fucking porthole and walked out! That son of a bitch!

The intercoms crinkled back to life, arguing was heard in the background. "JAMES NO!" Jenny yelled.

The best I could do was give her an apologetic smile before I could feel the wormhole swallow me.

Then, I could feel myself drifting.

-------------------------------

The stars called…

I answered.

-------------------------------

.

.

.

"Hey." A voice spoke, sounding rather intrigued.

I was probably just imagining things.

"Hey…"

Ignore the voices James…

…Just like your therapist said.

"...HEY!!" the voice boomed into the vast expanse of darkness.

"Gah! My ears! What the FUCK!" I held my ears in pain.

The voice sighed to itself, before snapping its fingers.

It lit up the darkness, revealing a well-furnished office, like something from an old office building. With those window walls with the large blinds too.

The man sitting in the main chair looked rather… simple. There wasn't anything remarkable about him, but… he just didn't seem to be 'real' in a sense.

It was like I was staring at a politician's mask.

"Finally! I was getting tired of that unnecessary monologuing." He exclaimed irritatedly.

"Welcome to the Lobby, where we 'Gods' grant second chances for those who weren't fated to die."

"God, I hate this script…" He muttered quietly. "You can call me Paul. I will be your Reincarnation Agent today."

"That… I don't know how to respond to this…" I responded in disbelief.

"Wait… I wasn't supposed to die?!" I yelled in confusion. To me, that's like not winning the lottery because you misspoke!

"That's utter fucking bullshit! How'd that even happen?!" I asked, my patience at the brink of an explosion.

He looked me in the eyes for a few seconds before sighing. "Sorry kid, but you'd have to blame one of my Reapers -that was fired mind you- Because he decided that he could take a day off on a Monday."

I was speechless.

But I couldn't help but ask, "Well, how was that maniac supposed to die?"

He sighed again, "He was supposed to die in the car crash with his mother… His death was important for setting off a chain reaction of sympathy for those in terrible situations…"

Terrible situations…?

"Essentially, his death was supposed to be a catalyst to a better, happier world. But the Reaper that was supposed to do it, failed to grab the boy because he was DRUNK!" He started to tremble in rage.

A few seconds pass before he loosens his shoulders, slumping in his office chair.

"..."

"Uh… You alright?"

"...Yeah. Sorry. *Ahem*, Well, back on topic, it's time for a world choice. Spin that wheel, whatever you get is where you go." He pointed to my left.

When I turned, I spotted two colorful wheels mounted on the beige wall. They were labeled in a fancy Merriweather font.

One was labeled "World Choice Wheel"

The second was labeled "Cheat Choice Wheel"

"Go ahead, Spin the World Wheel kiddo."

I turned to him annoyed, "Give me a second, I'm trying to make plans…"

There were five choices on the Wheel. In order, they are;

Pokemon (That sounds fun… might be able to re-live my childhood…)

Naruto (Bleh… to much shonen protag speeches)

Akame ga kill (...*shiver*)

A… Generic Isekai World? No seriously, it's labeled that!

And finally, Against The Gods. (MISSION: KILL YUN CHE!)

After some minutes of making shotgun plans, I spun the wheel.

*Ding!*

You have landed on 'Pokemon'! (All Rights Reserved)

"Yes!" I pumped my fist in the air

Cynthia! Hex Maniac! The Tig Bittied Goth GF!

"Heh, congrats kid. You get an easy world! This one is specifically a combination of the games. Just a little dash of realism in there, as now pokemon can become any type with enough training."

"Now spin the other one."

I did just that.

*Ding!*

You landed on 'Five Wishes'!

"Alright, lay your wishes on me." Paul said nonchalantly.

I need to think about this…

.

.

.

"Alright, I'm ready. But before that, If I asked you for something that was incredibly specific in a sentence, would that work?" I asked him, sweat rolling down my face.

The anxiety of a negative answer was frightening me.

"Hmm…" He rubbed his chin, a playful glint in his eyes, "I don't see why not. Now, your wishes?"

"Okay… for my first wish, I want a Shiny Ralts egg with max IV's, a Bold nature, and Trace." I held up one finger.

"If I ask you how I want to reincarnate, would that count as a wish?" I questioned.

He just smiled and shook his head. "No, it wouldn't count as a wish, that would be a dick move. I'll ask you about it after you ask your wishes."

"Second wish," I held up a second finger, "I want a System. No Gamer abilities or anything except maybe a gacha… I want it to be a Pokemon Wiki, with only correct information about habitats, favorite foods, old and new types, and every type branch that could exist. Along with An intelligence that I could customize for help perusing all its info."

I didn't stop to take a single breath.

Paul's eyes were raised in surprise, before he reared his head back laughing, "Hahahaha! You, you are one of the smartest Reincarnators I've ever worked with so far! Almost none would ask if a sentence could count as a wish!"

He calmed down soon enough, before clearing his throat to speak again, "To answer your question, that's completely fine. The only thing you can't ask for is becoming an Ancient God."

"Do you mind If add a tab to the System that lets me access my old world's internet?"

"It's fine!" He waved his hand lazily.

I raised a third finger, "Third wish, I want a combination of Psychic and Aura, a Manual perfected for beginners to teach it, and a pill that will awaken it in a pokemon."

He squinted his eyes.

"That's… pushing it a bit but it's doable. I know you want to use that pill on your Ralts, so I'll let it slide."

I cleared my throat.

"Fourth wish, I want the Gacha Function to be able to pull anything from the omniverse, but nothing actively malicious.

Maybe a sock that makes you feel like you are constantly stubbing your toe would be the limit.

Oh! And anything that changes my body can be postponed to a later date."

"..."

"..."

"...Fine."

Yes!

He shuffled the papers containing my wishes on his desk, "Alright, what's your last wish kid? After this is when we discuss your memories and reincarnations, alright?"

I nodded.

"And finally," I had all five fingers up, "My fifth wish is for all pokemon in my party to be registered like in the games. So, they gain power from 'Leveling Up' and quick leveling has no adverse effects."

"That's all then?" He asked for confirmation

I nodded my head again.

"Cool. So, your memories."

"You have the choice of keeping or losing them, but I think your choice is obvious." He circled the [KEEP MEMORIES] option on the paper.

"So, where do you want to live, and when do you want to… 'Wake Up' so to speak." He asked, suddenly in businessman mode.

Hmm… how do I go about this… I don't think I could accept anyone else as my parents, but I want to start in Kanto…

Choices, choices…

…I got it!

"I want to grow up in an Orphanage in Pallet Town, as well as a week older than Garry and Ash. I also want my Ralts Egg to be put in there with me."

He nodded his head.

"Could you awaken my memories at seven? I don't want to go through the stages of being a baby."

He looked at his watch, and back at me.

"Yeah, seems everything is in order. Oh, and since you are Reincarnating and not Transmigrating, you could adjust your future adult look, which will be included before you make your System Intelligence, alright?"

I just nodded.

He snapped his fingers, the last thing I could hear was a 'Good Luck Alex.' before my consciousness sank into a deep slumber.

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They swam through the Blind Eternity… A small bright dot caught their attention.

"Hm… It seems another one got through. What do we do, Arceus?" One purple and gray creature asked the Majestic four-legged beast.

"We leave him be. They gave him permission, so there is nothing we can do. Guide him to his destination, Palkia." The one named Arceus answered.

He nodded.

"Yes, Arceus!"

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And once more, Alex Juniper rose again.

_________________________________________________________________

Hey everyone! Dumby here.

I went back through these chapters... and I didn't like what I saw. I did say in the past I would go back to this story, so I'm rewriting it!

Some things will change, some won't, but at the end of the day, Alex will still be chased by Yanderes.

Dumby, Out!