17 Finding a goal

After sobbing for a few minutes Shuichi calmed down, the nightmares were getting to him and he had no idea on how to stop them.

Eevee and Combusken just silently supported Shuichi, Shuichi looked at them and exhaled. He was going to tell them his secrets.

Trust between trainers and their Pokémon was a necessity to reach the top, you would know their secrets and they would know yours. If you trusted each other, you could share all secrets.

"I know you two are wondering what's wrong with me, but let's wait until Clamperl is awake." Shuichi tiredly spoke, he didn't want to repeat the whole story for Clamperl.

Clamperl was currently sleeping and was extremely comfortable in his artificial sea water, taking him out now and dumping trauma on him was not a good idea.

Eevee and Combusken nodded, their emotions ranged from expectancy and worry. They of course wanted Shuichi to be better and the only way they could help is if he shared it with them.

Shuichi originally didn't want to bother his Pokémon with his own problems and continue to hide it from them; however, that wasn't an option anymore.

Shuichi still wanted to hide it from his parents and friends, it wasn't that he didn't trust them, it was a case of would they believe him.

Waiting for Clamperl to wake up was another torturous experience for Shuichi, the more Shuichi was left to his own thoughts the stronger and longer the episodes became.

Every small little sound in the room became all sorts of voices and even hallucinations, Shuichi tried as hard as he could to remain calm.

Eventually after three gruelling hours Clamperl was awake and he felt extremely refreshed, Shuichi could see he was completely healed and had no negative side effects.

In fact Shuichi could even see Clamperl's shell had a slightly darker colour, it was clear resting in sea water would do Clamperl really well.

Eevee and Combusken filled in Clamperl on what happened and Clamperl also echoed Eevee and Combuskens emotions of worry and expectancy.

Seeing all three of his Pokémon like this made Shuichi sigh, just like a trainer would worry about their Pokémon, the Pokémon would also worry about their trainer.

Shuichi double checked and locked the room just in case someone was listening in on them, it would only complicate the situation if this were to spread.

Shuichi sat back on his bed, all three of his Pokémon waiting for his story. "So, where should I start?" Shuichi said this more to himself than his Pokémon.

"I suppose I should start with a question to you three, do I seem like a beginner?" Shuichi asked his three Pokémon this simple question.

All three of his Pokémon didn't expect a question like that and it took a second for them to answer it, they all shook their heads, Shuichi really wasn't like a beginner.

"You're actually half correct, this is my first time as a Pokémon trainer but not the first time as a leader and a trainer per sé." Shuichi tried to ease his Pokémon into this.

His Pokémon were clearly confused when he said that, Shuichi explained further "I have memories of a previous life of mine, in that life I wasn't a Pokémon trainer but an army commander."

His Pokémon were shocked, memories of previous life? How was that even possible? Shuichi continued before they could even ask any questions.

"In that previous life I had discarded all of my emotions in order to keep my sanity. I won't tell you the details but I was hiding for weeks in a small space to survive."

"When I finally felt like it was safe I crawled out only to see everyone I cared for was dead, I just stopped caring at that point and closed off all my emotions." Shuichi summarised his early years.

Shuichi could feel the sadness of his Pokémon as he told the story, "Eventually after 50 years of nothingness I was reborn here, but I still couldn't feel anything."

"So after another five years of nothingness I met Mesprit and it restored my emotions, I could finally feel again." Shuichi finished his story as his Pokémon were processing the information.

"And now after 8 years I get nightmares and I hear sounds and voices of my past life. 50 years worth of emotional trauma is coming back to bite me and I don't know what to do about it." Finally he came to his problem as his Pokémon were all silent, it was a lot to take in.

Shuichi was also silent, he felt slightly relieved that he was finally able to tell someone his problems. Even if it was his Pokémon.

Taking a deep breath Shuichi asked the most important question on his mind "So, now that you know all that. Will…you still want to go with me?"

Suddenly a blast of water hit Shuichi in the face, "What the?!" He could see and feel his Pokémon were offended and angry. The answer was clear.

His Pokémon were never going to leave Shuichi even if he had all that mental baggage, Shuichi could feel the warmth in Clamperl's ice cold water splash.

"Alright stupid question noted, thank you all." Shuichi thanked his Pokémon as he wiped his face and they all nodded.

"Then what do I need to do? I don't want to tell this to my parents or my friends, I want to solve this on my own." Shuichi was in a complete slump.

Eevee didn't agree with Shuichi doing it on his own, he knew he could trust his parents at the very least.

"It's not an issue of trust, it's an issue of secrecy, if this were to spread then there will be big consequences for not only me but also Mesprit, my parents, everyone." Shuichi knew the danger behind knowing the future and even the location of Mesprit.

Eevee slumped a little and understood the dangers, the rest of his Pokémon were also trying to think of a solution.

"My parents do suspect something is wrong and I have until the first badge to get it fixed or else." His father had clearly given him the warning.

"It's also because of Mesprit that I can sense the emotions of other Pokémon much like the Garde-" As Shuichi was explaining his power it just hit him.

If he had 50 years of emotional baggage then can't a psychic-type who can also sense emotions help him? Gardevoir could sense the deeper issues and mirror them, allowing Shuichi to sense his own emotions and try to understand them better.

('So I need to find a Gardevoir willing to help me with my problem?') Shuichi thought about the solution and realised that it could work.

Alternatively he could try Lake Verity once more, however he doubted that Mesprit would help him again. 

(So my goal for now is to find a Gardevoir willing to help me') Once Shuichi set his goal the voices settled down, he would probably still get nightmares but not as often.

Shuichi told his Pokémon his goal and they all agreed, once that was settled he still gave them all a group hug.

They might not have realised how much they helped him just by allowing him to talk it over, he finally managed to get a goal.

Recalling his team Shuichi went to the training grounds to find Dawn training for the contest, he couldn't find Ash or Brock anywhere. It wasn't time for dinner yet so no need to go to the restaurant yet.

"Oh! Shuichi!" Dawn noticed Shuichi and went to greet him. It had been a while since they were alone.

"Mind if I look Dawn?" Shuichi asked if he could see the training session, normally training sessions were not to be looked at by other trainers without permission.

"I mean, as long as you don't enter the contest I don't mind." Dawn didn't mind Shuichi looking, she just added that last part as a joke.

"Nah, no intention of stealing your spotlight, where are the others?" Shuichi played along with the joke and asked about the others.

"Ash and Brock went off to a different place for training, so it's just me, Buneary and Piplup." Dawn told Shuichi what Ash and Brock were doing.

"So, a Buneary, I remember you wanted to catch one and you threw a Pokéball at Ash's face." It was what kicked off Dawn's argument with Ash.

"That- ugh don't remind me of that." Dawn was a little embarrassed of that time, she had indeed wanted a Buneary at the time.

"So how did you meet this Buneary?" Shuichi was interested in their meeting, knowing Ash and Dawn, it had to be a good story.

And a good story it was, basically Buneary rescued Pikachu from being run over and Dawn wanted to catch it so she fought Buneary.

Buneary then knocked out Piplup, Ash wanted to give it a shot too however Buneary just froze the group and tried to elope with Pikachu.

Eventually they reunited after Team Rocket interfered once more, this time Dawn was prepared and she beat it and they joined forces.

When the topic of Pikachu was brought up Buneary covered her face with her fur clearly wanting to hide her face, Shuichi on the other hand could feel an unknown emotion.

It wasn't 'unknown' per sé but it was more of an emotion Shuichi had no past experience with. Shuichi based his 'known' emotions on his first life when he was a child and even the scenes that Mesprit showed him of his alternate life.

Of course those were only scenes and it didn't cover all the emotions that were known, if that was the case then Shuichi would've been seeing those scenes for a long time.

Ignoring the emotion for now Shuichi focused on something interesting from Buneary, "Ice Beam huh? I wonder if she found a Never-Melt Ice and learned it on her own." Shuichi theorised about the rare move. Buneary nodded confirming Shuichi's theory

Dawn was a bit confused hearing Shuichi and Buneary. "Huh? What does that have to do with Buneary knowing Ice Beam?" How did Shuichi know these things?

"I suppose I should tell you the story of how I met Combusken." Shuichi explained how he met Combusken along with the Spell Tag incident.

"So Pokémon can learn moves without a TM? And it can be used multiple times? That's incredible!" Dawn realised the incredible potential special items like these.

"Don't expect to find them out in the wild too much, they're rare and sometimes even dangerous like with Combusken." Shuichi quickly added their rarity and danger, making Dawn think twice about chasing these items.

"Still I wonder how Buneary was under the Never-Melt Ice." Dawn wondered about Buneary's change and Shuichi did have another theory.

"Ice-types are often extremely shy and strive for beauty, and I think she may have retained a few of those traits." Shuichi said looking at Buneary who was hiding her face once more with her fur.

"Well obviously my type would also be the Ice-type!" Dawn proclaimed with absolute certainty which just caused Shuichi to look at her.

"Yeah right, I'd offer you up more for the ice and fire-type, intense and driven about beauty." Shuichi offered his own viewpoint of Dawn.

"Says mister dragon and psychic-type, confident and fierce along with intelligent and highly attuned to emotions." Dawn accurately typed Shuichi's own personality.

Once Shuichi thought about it he realised she was correct, he was indeed all of those personality traits.

Dawn continued on however as she looked closely at Shuichi "Along with suffering from overwork and fatigue and being too proud to admit it."

This came as an absolute shock to Shuichi who looked at Dawn like a Stantler in headlights, "Shuichi I've known you for 8 years I can see when you have incredible bags under your eyes." Dawn deadpanned at him.

('Busted') Shuichi thought in his mind, it really was difficult hiding things from close friends and family.

"Shuichi, are you okay? You look absolutely exhausted." Dawn was worried about Shuichi's health and asked if he was okay.

"I'm okay Dawn, there's no need to worry." Shuichi knew he wasn't okay however he didn't want to dump it all on Dawn, she needed to focus on her own contest.

Dawn was a little silent, she knew Shuichi was lying. "First there's that mysterious illness and now this, Shuichi, how can I not worry?" she said a little somberly.

Shuichi flinched a little hearing this, this wouldn't do Dawn any good. Taking a deep sigh, Shuichi gathered some determination.

"I wasn't the healthiest was the most accurate I could've described it. To sum it up, I was born without emotions and Mesprit helped me restore them." Shuichi told Dawn the truth about his illness.

Dawn was shocked, she didn't even know this was possible! "I-I'm sorry! I shouldn't have pressed like that." Now Dawn just felt guilty about it.

Shuichi quickly appeased her "It's fine Dawn, my family knows about this so it's not an exclusive secret. I would appreciate it if you didn't share this with everyone."

"Of course I'm not going to tell anyone!" Dawn quickly made that promise before continuing "Still I never thought it was possible to be born without emotions, was it…difficult?"

Dawn was understandably a little curious about having no emotions and Shuichi realised this was the first time someone actually asked him that question. "It was…empty, like nothing mattered to you and you couldn't care about anything."

Dawn flinched a little at Shuichi's description, "It sounds awful, I couldn't even imagine not being able to care about anything." It made Dawn's skin crawl just thinking about it.

Shuichi realised both of Dawn's Pokémon stopped training a while ago "Sorry, I kinda ruined the training mood huh?"

Buneary and Piplup quickly acted like they were training the whole time, Dawn however noticed and just let out a small sigh. "It's fine we were just rehearsing for the contest, all of the training was already done."

"Then I've a small idea for Piplup and Buneary can also help if she wants to." Shuichi proposed a plan and looked at Dawn and her Pokémon.

"I'm not going to say no, whatever plan you always have it's bound to be good." Dawn gave her green light and Piplup and Buneary were also interested.

Shuichi released Clamperl and told them all his idea "So my idea is simple, Clamperl will teach Piplup here Whirlpool and Buneary could teach Clamperl Ice Beam. Whirlpool will go a long way for contests as we've both seen in the videos, and Ice Beam is great for me."

If Clamperl could learn Ice Beam then Clamperl would have more options against grass-types, Shell Smash was still being learned however now Clamperl only needed power and that would come with time.

Dawn quickly realised the possibilities with Whirlpool and quickly agreed, "Yes! Maybe not for this contest however for the next Contest we'll have Whirlpool ready to wow the crowd!"

And just like that Shuichi and Dawn trained together, Clamperl and Piplup didn't learn the collective moves in just one day of training however it was enough to understand the basics.

Eevee and Combusken also got in some training for the day by polishing their own moves, there wasn't much difference at the end of the day however every little bit would count.

Shuichi recalled his Pokémon once it began getting late and went to the restaurant he had reserved earlier in the day.

Once Shuichi got to the restaurant he released his Pokémon making the chefs take a sigh of relief, Shuichi told the chefs what their favourite tastes were which the chef's appreciated.

Originally Shuichi was worried that he was making their work more difficult, however the chefs actually took it more like a challenge and they were more than ready to accept.

The meal went incredible, Shuichi and his Pokémon loved every minute of it. The restaurant not only appealed to Pokémon but also to humans.

The price was a whopping ₽1,000 however this was a one-time expense to celebrate his first tournament win, seeing his Pokémon happy and more motivated than ever made this a worthwhile expense.

Once Shuichi was back in the room he prepared another bath for Clamperl and finally crashed onto his bed, Eevee and Combusken both wanted to sleep next to Shuichi so eventually they all fell asleep in the room.

Once it was morning Shuichi awoke well rested, he didn't experience a nightmare but he doubted he was finally rid of them. Still it felt nice to finally have a good night's rest.

Shuichi expected to find Dawn at the training field again after breakfast only to be surprised that she received a package and call from her mother.

('First Ash now Dawn? Am I next? What would she even send me?') Shuichi thought about his mother, he realised that he hadn't called in a few days. He had called after he won the tournament but not anymore after that.

Shuichi waited for a bit with Ash and Brock and Johanna on the phone while Dawn was receiving her package, there was a bit of an awkward tension in the air.

Shuichi hadn't spoken much to Ash since defeating him, talking about the match just seemed like a poor choice in Shuichi's eyes.

They waited for about 30 minutes making Shuichi wonder what was taking so long, it was just a package right?

Suddenly Dawn came spinning around the corner, the difference was that Dawn wasn't dressed in her casual clothes anymore.

Currently she was wearing a pink dress with red shoes, there were also ribbons on the dress. She had her hair now in a high ponytail.

"Wow Dawn, seeing you wearing a dress is a new one for me." Ash replied once Dawn was close, Brock nodded and echoed Ash's statement.

"Well what did you expect for a contest!" Dawn cheerfully replied, Ash and Brock were a little confused and Shuichi filled them in.

"Coordinators here in Sinnoh dress up for their contest, the dress suits you Dawn." Shuichi knew about the tradition to dress up and complemented Dawn.

"Thank you! My mother made it and I'm very happy with it!" Dawn revealed her mother made the dress.

Johanna nodded "I'm thrilled you like it Dawn but there's something missing. There should be a choker along with it."

Dawn was a little confused, "A choker? But I didn't see a choker in the package." She had searched the package multiple times but only found the dress, shoes and hair tie.

"Meow." Suddenly a sound was heard from behind them, turning around everyone could see it was a Glameow. Shuici could feel Glameow was happy and didn't seem like Johanna's Glameow at all.

Glameow stuck out its tail to reveal a choker was hanging on its tail, "Ah! There's your choker," Johanna revealed it was Dawn's.

Dawn grabbed the choker "Why thank you Glameow." Glameow happily cried out, and suddenly another woman joined the scene.

"There you are." The woman said to Dawn, Glameow jumped up into the woman's arms. "Are you the one who found this?" Dawn asked the woman.

The woman had short red hair and was wearing brown boots along with jeans and a red shirt that was half covered by an orange cropped jacket.

The woman nodded "It was on the floor of the dressing room, and you're pretty much the only girl here who wears something that would go with it."

"Thank you!" Dawn quickly put on the choker and showed it off to her mother, "See mom, I've got the choker now so no need to worry!"

Johanna only got closer to the camera "When you tell me not to worry is when I worry the most!"

Dawn turned around to talk to the woman again only to find her gone, Shuichi noticed she quickly slipped away when Dawn was talking to her mother.

('If i'm not mistaken that was another one of Dawn's rivals in the show, I seem to have forgotten her name though.') Shuichi scoured his memories only to find her somewhat memorable.

"Dawn!" Johanna called back out to Dawn who turned her attention to her mother again.

"The last thing you want to do is get absentminded for your first contest!" Johanna gave Dawn some advice from her own experience.

Dawn nodded "Don't worry mom!" trying to not make her mother worry. Johanna on the other hand gave out her standard reply "And what do I do when you tell me that?"

Dawn could already feel it coming but Shuichi wasn't going to let her off that easy "You worry like a mother Luxray." Johanna nodded, making Dawn give Shuichi a betrayed look.

"In all seriousness though, there's no need to worry Ms. Berlitz. We're all cheering her on and making sure she stays focused." Shuichi told Johanna, making Ash and Brock nod in agreement.

Johanna smiled "I know I can count on you three! I'll be watching from the tv so goodluck Dawn!" She wished Dawn goodluck and with that the call ended.

"My mother, always the one to worry about me." Dawn was a little annoyed at her mother's constant worry about her, was she really that unreliable.

"She's not the only one." Shuichi suddenly piped up making Dawn turn to him a little annoyed as well until she saw he was being serious.

Shuichi was indeed serious. "Dawn, your mother is speaking from experience. Getting absentminded before a contest is like fighting a gym-leader blindly."

Dawn on the other hand didn't seem to take it seriously. "Like I said, there's no need to worry! Let me get out of this dress and I'll show you what I mean!" And with that she ran back to the dressing room.

('I hope I didn't offend her but she seems a little overconfident in my eyes.') Shuichi noticed Dawn was maybe a little overconfident about this.

"Seems like you made her mad." Ash noted and Brock nodded but also frowned a little, he knew full well what overconfidence was due to his time as a gym leader.

Shuichi just shook his head, "She'll calm down soon, I just hope she knows what she's doing."

('If Dawn really was overconfident for her contests then she could end up facing a giant roadblock in the future.') Shuichi realised the trouble but Dawn came back in her casual outfit soon and began to lead Shuichi to the training grounds.

Once at the training grounds Dawn released Piplup and Ash released his Aipom to watch, Brock also released his Bonsly and Croagunk. As he began feeding Bonsly.

"Okay Shuichi, since you seem to be doubting us we'll show you what we've got!" Dawn was fired up, she clearly thinks Shuichi was underestimating her.

Shuichi just sighed a little, maybe he was underestimating her since the last time he saw her in action was over a week ago and it wasn't spectacular.

Shuichi looked at Dawn "Okay then, prove me wrong. Eevee, get ready!" Eevee took the field to see Piplup and Dawn on the other end.

Piplup and Dawn were both confident "Okay Shuichi, give me your best shot!" She said with some passion.

Shuichi nodded "Eevee, use Swift!" Eevee nodded and flicked his tail to shoot out stars at Piplup.

"Piplup, use Bubble Beam!" Dawn gave out the counter and Piplup jumped in the air and began spinning, shooting out bubbles at a much stronger rate than Shuichi had seen in the past.

The bubbles and stars collided cancelling each other out, Piplup landed back on its feet completely unharmed.

"A perfect landing! Okay now use Peck!" The order made Shuichi frown a little, what would peck do in this situation?

Piplup nodded and its beak glowed white then it suddenly elongated, surprising everyone. "Pretty cool huh, it's not like we've been sitting on our hands you know." Dawn was happy to show off her own improvement.

('She's improved that's for certain, but if she thinks this is enough then she's going to be in for a rude awakening.') Shuichi had to admit she did better than he expected.

"Let's go!" Dawn gave off the order to go and Piplup charged in, Eevee was ready with Protect as it already was expecting Shuichi to order it.

Before Shuichi could even say anything another Pokémon was suddenly on the field, it was Aipom!

"What the-" Everyone was surprised seeing Aipom and even more surprised when it fired off a focus punch hitting Piplup on the chin.

"Ash what are you-?" As Dawn was about to question Ash she noticed he was also confused, he clearly didn't give Aipom the order to interfere.

Shuichi could feel Aipom's emotions, it was brimming with excitement and a need to show off as well. 

Before Ash could even say anything to Aipom it suddenly used Double Team to create multiple copies of itself through the air.

Then it jumped up and shot a swift at all the copies making a giant star in the sky, Aipom fell down somersaulting and landed straight up on its tail.

Everyone was a bit speechless as Brock came up "That was a really pretty move, Ash I think Aipom wants to join the contest."

Aipom quickly nodded its head, Dawn chimed in "Aipom is always interested in watching our practice and it's no fun sitting on the side lines."

"Why not compete in the contest Ash? Maybe you could try it and be like Nando for a bit, without the harp of course." Shuich also chimed in and it made Ash think for a bit.

Shuichi wasn't going to join contests, he had actually discussed this with his Pokémon. However all his Pokémon only liked one thing which was fighting.

Aipom also chimed in and jumped on Ash's shoulder to convince him, "Alright! Let's do this, Aipom! Let's get started with training right away!" Ash was in and wanted to jump into training immediately.

"Don't you need to sign up for an entry for the contest?" Brock poured some cold water over Ash as Dawn suddenly yelled out "I totally forgot!" Now everyone was stunned.

"I wonder If the contest also has an upper limit of allowing people in, I mean the tournament had one so the contest should as well." Shuichi theorised about a possible entry limit making Dawn and Ash pale as they bolted to the contest hall.

Brock on the other hand wasn't as convinced "I didn't hear about any entry limit?" Brock was a lot more informed then Ash and Dawn were.

Shuichi just smiled mischievously "There isn't! I just wanted to mess with them a little." he just wanted to tease Ash and Dawn for a bit.

Brock was speechless, "You're one evil friend Shuichi." he replied as he and Shuichi went after Dawn and Ash.