Chapter no.470 A Step Towards Healing

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"I am Ashura."

As soon as the words left Austin's mouth, he didn't feel much of anything, a hollow emptiness where he expected some profound realization or weight.

The identity of Ashura had been imposed on him by the pokenet, a title that felt both alien and eerily apt.

It was a mantle he bore but hadn't fully claimed as his own.

Caitlin, on the other hand, looked utterly flabbergasted. Her eyes widened, her mouth opened slightly in surprise, and her posture stiffened as if the words had physically jolted her.

It was as though she was trying to reconcile the Austin she knew with this new persona he declared.

"Are you afraid of Ashura?" Caitlin's voice was careful, treating the name as if it were another person entirely, an alter ego lurking within him.

"In a sense, yes," Austin admitted, feeling the complexity of that fear. It wasn't straightforward; it was tangled with his sense of self.

"Why do you mean?"

"Ashura's title was given to me, but I guess, in a sense, I accepted it as a label for him," Austin explained, his words slow, weighed down by the admission.

"Him?"

"Yes, him," Austin said, a bit more forcefully. "I like to think now that everything's over, he is gone, but truthfully, I guess I am again trying to put on that veil of mine that this world is the Pokémon anime and that everything is A-OK." As he spoke, his grip tightened on the teacup unconsciously, until it cracked, the sharp sound echoing their tense exchange.

Caitlin's hand was on his in an instant, her touch gentle. Her psychic energy fluttered around them, whisking away the shards from his hand without a word. The simple act was soothing, grounding.

"Can you tell me why?"

Instead of answering, Austin stood up abruptly, causing her to look up at him with a mixture of concern and confusion.

"Follow me," he said, the command more an invitation.

Walking alongside Austin toward a quiet part of the garden, our steps matched in rhythm but our minds were undoubtedly worlds apart.

Silence enveloped us as we moved through the lush greenery until we stopped in front of what appeared to be an empty grave-like hole.

"I want to transport Raticate's casket here so that she may be in a beautiful garden surrounded by everyone who knew her, rather than some ghost tower in a greyish grave," Austin said as he gazed into the vacant pit.

"You didn't do it, why?" Caitlin asked after a moment, breaking the silence that seemed too dense, too charged with unspoken fears.

"I am afraid of what bringing her grave here will do," Austin admitted, his hand covering his mouth as if to shield himself from his own confessions.

"Afraid, or is there something else?" Caitlin pressed, sensing there was more beneath the surface of his fear.

He removed his hand, revealing a smile—not one of happiness but of resignation, perhaps even acceptance of some harsh truths.

"You are a good therapist," Austin complimented, though his tone carried an edge, a subtle challenge or perhaps an acknowledgment of the probing nature of their dialogue.

His aura then shifted dramatically, no longer the calm Caitlin had become accustomed to but rather like a storm brewing at sea. "Every one of my Pokémon was affected by her death, and we pushed ourselves just for revenge. If I am being honest, we could've not done that, we couldn't have destroyed Team Rocket in a much safer way, but we didn't because all of us had this fire in our heart, a fire that demanded that we fight and we destroy Team Rocket," he confessed, his voice rising with the tempest of his emotions.

Caitlin felt the intensity of his aura, oppressive and almost suffocating.

As his emotional storm peaked, suddenly, it was gone, and the sudden absence of that energy left Caitlin's own body trembling.

Even after everything Austin had shared, a nagging sense lingered—a connection Caitlin couldn't quite make.

Something that linked his anger, Raticate's empty grave, and his own Pokémon together.

What was it that drove him so intensely, so destructively?

Was it merely vengeance, or something deeper, something even he hadn't fully acknowledged?

Taking a deep breath to steady her own swirling thoughts, Caitlin ventured further, "Are you satisfied with how you destroyed Team Rocket?"

As Austin sat down on the grass, a simple "No" fell from his lips, reverberating in the silence that wrapped around them like a heavy shroud.

"What would you have done differently?"

"No, what I want to do differently," Austin corrected her, his voice carrying a chilling determination that sent a cold shiver down Caitlin's spine.

The gravity of his words hinted at a deeper, darker intent that he harbored.

"You don't mean—" Caitlin began, but the look in his eyes stopped her.

It was a gaze that bore the weight of unspeakable thoughts, a window into the ravaged soul of a boy who had been thrust too quickly into manhood.

"Caitlin, I am a kid. Before coming to this world, I was just some stupid 15-year-old who had to only think about school and nothing more. Now, I am here, sitting with riches and power so great that if I want, every single Team Rocket member that is currently in prison, I could make them disappear and..."

He clicked his tongue, his words trailing off into a menacing silence that filled the space between them.

Caitlin took a step back, the true extent of the damage done to him becoming painfully clear.

The power he wielded was not just a tool; it was a weapon, one that he was tempted to wield with devastating effect.

"I am a sick man, Caitlin, a sick man that wants to bring back Raticate into this new grave just to ignite the flames back in everyone so every day they know about their loss, every day their anger is ignited again and..." Austin stopped, his voice choking on the final words as he recognized the monstrous implications of his desires.

He wanted his satisfaction.

He wanted Team Rocket to feel the agony he had endured.

He wanted Executive Arianna to experience his pain.

Caitlin sat down beside him, the grass cold and damp beneath her, mirroring the chill she felt inside.

"When did you realize this?"

"Ironically, just now, but deep down, the day that Team Rocket fell, I gained a sliver of satisfaction, and that wasn't—I guess—enough for me."

Austin buried his face in his knees, a posture of defeat and despair.

It seemed he had peered into the abyss for too long, and now, it was staring back at him, and it was his own reflection he saw.

"We are defined by our thoughts, not our actions. You have so many vile thoughts, and you have the power to accomplish them. Kanto wouldn't be able to stop you if you wanted to do evil, but you didn't do anything. You stopped yourself from bringing in Raticate's casket, you agreed to this therapy, you even went as far as spilling so many of your secrets just because you knew you needed help. Your actions speak otherwise."

Caitlin's words echoed in Austin's mind, offering a different perspective on his actions—a narrative of restraint rather than corruption.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"What do you want to do?" Caitlin returned the question to him, her gaze searching his face for signs of true desire beneath the confusion.

"I want to not feel this anger anymore; I don't want these thoughts anymore. I want to go back to my ignorance," Austin confessed.

Caitlin gently rubbed Austin's back, her presence a comforting force.

"Ignorance is never bliss; it's just a false perception of it. If you try to blindly force yourself to be ignorant, then you'll only hurt yourself."

"Then what is the right path?"

"What is the reason that held you back from going through with your plans?"

"Raticate wouldn't want me to do that," Austin said slowly, turning his gaze outward, towards the horizon.

"My Pokémon wouldn't want me to do that... I don't want to do that."

"You are a smart man, I am sure you don't need me to tell you what you need to do," Caitlin said, a smile touching her lips as she sensed his realization dawning.

Austin smiled back, a genuine warmth spreading through him.

"I want to live for Raticate, for my friends, for my Pokémon, and for myself."

"Then live."

As the effects of the contract began, Caitlin asked one last time, "You'll be alright?"

"I am a smart kid," Austin replied with a smirk.

"Thank you," Austin said, reaching out to grasp Caitlin's hand.

It wasn't just a gesture of gratitude but also a final check—a part of him needed to confirm that her memories would truly be erased as per their agreement.

Caitlin allowed it, her understanding clear. She knew this was more than just a precaution; it was a necessary step for Austin's peace of mind.

After everything he had been through, this moment of assurance was perhaps the first true step toward healing.

As Austin held Caitlin's hand, a subtle, invisible force enveloped her mind. Psychic energy, gentle yet relentless, surged quietly through the air, weaving its way into the deepest recesses of her memory. The energy worked meticulously, erasing specific memories with precision while leaving the rest of her consciousness intact. It was like watching an artist carefully remove strokes of paint from a canvas without disturbing the underlying scene, leaving no trace of what had once been depicted there.

"You can let go of my hand, Ash," Caitlin said calmly, breaking the quiet that had settled between them.

"Just needed to check," Austin replied as he stood up, a sense of relief visible in his posture.

"So, how did it go?" Caitlin asked, her curiosity piqued, unaware of the moments she had just lost.

"It gave me a lot to think about. While I wouldn't say all of my problems got resolved..." Austin began, pausing thoughtfully.

"But?"

"But the path in front of me seems clearer than before. My pain isn't going to heal any time soon, but I think I am ready to embrace what happened as a coat of paint on the canvas of my life," Austin explained.

He reached out his hand to help Caitlin up.

"You stole that from Cynthia," Caitlin remarked, a playful tone in her voice.

Austin snorted and said, "Guilty as charged. Now, do you want to eat something?"

"Since I am in Kanto, I want to eat some street food," Caitlin replied with a smile.

Austin smiled back.

"Let's go."

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[Omake Paragraph]

Although the dramatic size discrepancy between these two pokemon makes it impossible in nature, and when it is done it is typically the product of mad scientists, it is indeed possible to breed Skitty and Wailord via artificial insemination. When the Wailord is the female, an apparently ordinary Wailmer is produced, no more strange or remarkable than any other crossbreeds. However, when the Skitty is the female, the resultant pokemon is no ordinary Skitty. Although when it hatches its egg is no larger than the rest of its species, the Skitty will grow at a tremendous rate until it reaches the size of its father; these half-breed Skitty, not Steelix, are the largest land pokemon to ever walk the earth.

The sheer size of large pokemon alone makes even gentle and lazy giants like Snorlax dangerous, and for a creature with Skitty's playful, feline mannerisms, size makes them destruction on four legs. Their habit of chasing their tail, adorable in an ordinary Skitty, is deadly to people and buildings alike when the tail in question is heavier than a wrecking ball; the pins can still be shot out as weapons, but they are less needles now than swords. Likewise, their tendency to chase moving objects becomes a method of hunting everything from Donphan to cyclists. A single Skitty can lay waste to a city more easily than Groudon or the megafauna of the Cenozoic ever could.

Tragically, Skitty are the furthest thing in the world from a malicious pokemon. The moment they finish their chase and realize what they destroyed, they scamper away into the forest, hoping it will have enough food to sustain them, and never show their faces to humans again.