Broken Bonds (Part Three)

In truth I was starting to fall asleep when there was a soft knocking on the door, it startled me and I hit my head against the sink. I threw the aforementioned sink a betrayed look before my attention was stolen by Drake saying my name.

"Touma? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." I lied, hissing as I touched the huge bump near my temple. Luckily, it didn't seem like I had a concussion. That was something I would never live down.

"Are you sure? You've been in there for an hour and half."

I closed my eyes and counted to ten.

"You're not gonna leave me alone, are you?"

"I'm worried."

The worst part is that I cannot even be mad. This man has been conditioned by Leo, and then Peter, to take care of others. If Raph is the 'Mum-friend' that ensures you're fed and clothed, Drake's the one that cannot go on with his life if one of us is in pain. Well, obvious pain at any rate.

Sometimes I wish I could still be an asshole and ignore him. Sadly, that part of my life was shot, salted and burned.

'Damn it all.' I thought viciously as I stood up. Scowling as I opened the door with a little too much strength.

"See? I'm fine." Please, go away.

Drake's frown makes me angry. How dare he be this worried? It's his fault I'm looking like a mess in the first place!

"You've been crying."

"I'm not supposed to?" I said bitterly, rubbing my eyes to clean the tears. I'm an ugly crier, if I'm not allowed to stay in the bathroom then I must do something to be at least presentable. "Leo was my brother. The only sibling I had left."

Jason, Maria and now Asahi… they were all gone.

My family was gone all over again.

Drake winces. "I… I'm sorry."

I raise my head to look into his eyes, he's too god damn tall. It's annoying. "Why?"

"I shouldn't have grabbed you like that." Drake blurts, sounding pained. "Nor hit you. It's not your fault Peter did that. We all know it. With or without your help this would have happened. He… Peter never understood when to stop."

'Or you all surrendered too easily' I thought tiredly.

The exhaustion is creeping on me, like moss.

"It's fine…" I force a smile. "Tim kicked your ass for me. We're even."

"You were scared." Drake whispers quietly.

I shot him a look, sigh and looked down at my hands. It's humiliating to have it thrown in my face like that.

"Tim reacts strongly to any emotion that isn't calm." I explain softly, even though I'm sure he already came to the same conclusion. "I usually have better control than that but… it's been a long day."

The last time this happened was in the store, when men from Dragman corralled me. Tim had taken the ten of them out before I was able to react beyond being spooked. It was a fond memory, in fact that was when I knew it was love.

"Tim wasn't the only one, you know?"

"Huh?"

Drake grabs my chin softly, his expression is so soft that it burns.

"You're usually so apathetic, Touma, your scent never changing from oranges and honey that is easy to forget you feel as strongly as us. Maybe even more so. I'm sorry I needed that shock to remember you're not ice."

"It's on purpose." I admit with a grimace.

I was pretty enough to rival some omegas, the albinism made me even more attractive to outsiders because it was 'exotic.' In jail the suppressors were not enough to keep all calmed, the strong survived through abusing the weak.

The best form of survival? Getting on the guards on your side.

Showing anything but complacency in that company was a death sentence.

"I assumed so." Drake nodded, letting go of my face. "Come on. Let's go and tend your wounds before your boyfriend bites my head off."

I snorted softly.

"You're saying it like I wouldn't like to see that." I hit his arm playfully, dodging the swat and laughing as I danced all the way to the couch.

Nick was waiting there, a box of first aid supplies in his hands. Him and Drake made an interesting couple, opposites in everything, from race to personality. The only thing they seemed to share was their core values and the need to be at someone's side. Unapologetically.

"Sorry about the scare." I told him, knowing he deserved the apology after how close Tim had been from permanently deforming Drake's handsome face.

"My mate is an idiot." Nick said softly, shaking his head. "It wasn't your fault."

Drake leans to press a kiss above the bite mark proudly displayed on Nick's neck. I try and fail to not be jealous.

"Your hair is a gift from the Ishmal." Drake tells me, half-joking. "Otherwise we would never know you have a head injury."

"Doctors are for losers." I stuck my tongue out like a brat.

This was a familiar dance, one that doesn't hurt as much as I was expecting it to. There's even a highly annoying warmth spreading through my chest. Nick's hands are confident, small but firm touches that allow his experience to shine through.

I limit myself to make a face when the alcohol finds its way into my open injury.

Drake's chuckles, I sent him a glare.

He's such an asshole.

"You remind me of a pug."

The offended gasp that left my lips was genuine.

"How dare you." Nick snickers. "If anything, Touma would be a bunny. Not a pug. He's too good looking to be a pug."

"That's worse!" I cry out, turning my head back to let Nick know how betrayed I was at his input.

"Hmm, you're right. Too cute." Drake agrees.

"I'm not cute!"

What the hell? I was many things but cute was not one of them.

'Rabid', sure. I could see it at one point in my life. 'Submissive', yeah, I had issues with that but the assumption could be made when I interacted with the pack in front of strangers. But cute? What about me is cute? The life-empty eyes? Or the smile that sends people running?

"Are you on drugs?" I wonder out loud.

Nick snorts.

Drake looks offended. "Touma, what the fuck?"

"Drake, if you are seeing me as 'cute' something is wrong. You don't look like you have a contusion, you don't reek like buzz so being drunk is out of the way, and that leaves drugs. Well, that or you having bad taste. But Nick is a beauty so that's not it."

"Oh my god." Drake groans, hiding his face between his palms. "I didn't believe Tim when he said you were like this. Ishmal, how does he put up with you?"

"Like this?" I am vaguely surprised that Tim speaks about me with Drake. Were they comparing partners or something?

Heavens, I hope not.

"Fine, you're not cute." Drake sighs.

I nod slowly, not completely sure why he is acting like I'm the weird one. Nick cannot stop laughing behind me. His hands leave my head and his laugh becomes muffled.

"No drugs then?"

"I don't do drugs!"

"Just confirming."

Drake made a noise of frustration.

"Nick, do his face so we can go to sleep. Please."

I smirked in victory, even if I remained a little confused, riling him up was fun. Always had.

…

The light atmosphere we had worked so hard to create vanishes when we try to find a place to sleep. The pack is divided into two rooms. The beds are as big as possible but even then there's no way we can all fit on them.

I shift awkwardly when Drake opens the room where Tim is resting.

The talk gave me many answers but none of them was satisfying. I couldn't empathize with them and they couldn't understand me. We were just different. Even when we had tried to teach them our customs they all had families outside our pack and had never stepped a foot inside the slums.

We were in the middle of moving out when Leo found Drake.

"Maybe we can sleep in another room?" Nick says quietly.

Drake's eyes are guarded, heavy as he nods. "Come on."

The door closes and I sigh in relief.

I wasn't ready to face Tim this soon. And even sleeping in the same room would feel— I wasn't sure if I could stop myself from starting a scene. Don't misunderstand, I love Tim. He is my everything but…

Leo was mine and Jason's true north.

And I hated myself a little for prioritizing Tim over Leo.

I hated that there was a part of me that wished I had gone after Leo anyways. That I hadn't cared enough about how much it would upset Tim if I got myself killed, that Tim's stability hadn't weighed more than Leo's suffering.

This would probably end as another regret between us.

I would never forgive them for allowing Leo to leave; they would never forget I got Peter killed.

Sadly, there was precedence of us being able to pass this kind of regret and turn mostly functional. Unlike at the beginning of the night, I wasn't afraid of being purged. But that wasn't as big a relief as I hoped.

You could love someone and still have moments where there was nothing that you wished more than hurt them.

I needed to be careful around Tim until I was sure I wouldn't harm him by mistake.

We moved along, the house was filled with rooms ready to be inhabited. Kinda like a hotel. A queen bed is enough for us to be comfortable, even when Drake's a giant and probably has to crunch a little so his feet don't dangle out the bed.

Nick makes the decision for us and pulls us inside a room that smells heavily of cinnamon and apples.

"Your room?" I ask curiously, it smells a lot like the fake scents in the bike shop.

"Thought for us, yes." Drake answers. "Although I would prefer if the scent was anything but this. It reminds me of the shop."

"Except the shop stinks of gasoline and oils." Nick points out, fluffing the pillows.

"Exactly."

I snort at Drake's ill concealed exasperation. I suppose he would prefer the natural scent that filled the place he had put so much effort into building from scratch instead of this clean and methodic mockery.

I fell into the bed with a thud.

The sheets are cold, soft. They're wrong.

The longing from Tim's smell hits me like a sucker punch, I gasp into the sheets. Barely keeping the sound of distress inside my throat. Alright. That was way more pathetic than what I was expecting but not really a surprise.

I always knew I was the worst kind of love-sick fool.

"You ok?" Drake hesitates.

I opened an eye to look at him. "Peachy."

"Move."

I groan and decide to be unhelpful, staying where I am. Drake sighs, long-suffering. He pushed me, gently, to the side. One, two, three times. I roll accordingly until he had enough space to get comfortably on the bed.

He's splayed like a starfish.

Nick jumps to the bed and immediately cuddles against him. I make a face, they're so sweet it's disgusting.

"Stop being disgusting." I told Drake.

Drake snorts, pulling me close so I can do what Nick did. I allow it because I'm too tired to fight and really, puppy piles just make everything better.

"You say it like you and Tim are never disgusting in public." His hand rubs circles on my back, I bury my nose against his side. The jacket is in the middle but is good enough. I inch a little closer chasing the warmth.

"We aren't." I deny with a sigh.

"You lie."

Yeah, I lied.

"Shut up. I want to sleep."

"Goodnight, Touma."

I mumble a non-answer and close my eyes. Sleep comes way more easily than I was expecting it to. I'm sent a quick thanks to any deity that's listening and pray that nightmares don't take hold in the rest of the pack, especially Daisy and Tim.