my suicide

I'm at the top of the tallest building I could find,

about to reach out for the stars for the last time.

I've wrote all my letters,

all of them hidden where they were easy to find but not too easy.

One for my big brother, the one whose kept it all together for me, make sure they don't do what they did to me to him.

One for my father, the one who didn't give up on me when I did myself, dont change when things get hard and treat people how you want to be treated.

One to my step mom, I don't really have allot to say to you except good job, you finally got rid of me.

One to my other siblings who don't live with me, keep going and Keep fighting, be strong where I couldn't.

And last but not least, one to my friends, ill see you all in the next life if that's a thing you can do it, carry on, you'll carry on.

I took off my old hoodie that's been ripped and sown back together so many times it's getting hard to remember,

the hoodie that's been with me for so long I almost wanted to keep it with me as I leave,

But I bet they'll want something to remember how much they hated me.

As I'm taking off my hoodie I remember my shoes,

the green on them almost to dirty to see,

I chuckle as I take them off for the last time.

I was going to be freed, away from all this pain and misery.

And just as I'm walking over the edge I jump awake,

Covered in sweat and tears.

I'm still here... waiting for it to all make since again and for it to feel ok again...