it hurt

These days,every 2 days, i just wanna die, give up everything cuz life feel like a lie,

Holding me up, with promises of riches, the lover i need and get my own buisiness,

but i can't think about anything anymore,the pain is here filling me till i cant take it no more.

i want to love and be loved but 20years and im still alone in this hell hole i call home,

i hate myself for hating myself, i hate others cuz i respect them more than i respect myself,

I want to but can't even talk to my ex, i just can't see a point of interest,

i'm blind to myself i guess, never testing my strengh, fearing my weakness and sometimes my wickedness, nevertheless, i can't see my self much better than the rest.

i'm too damn depressed, to be honnest, its been so long since i felt a caress,

a touch of a woman's grace,

Won't even talk about sex, i'd disgress and disgrace, if it was one, i already lost that race.

I'm too sad so i just keep sleeping,want to keep dreaming, but worst is still awakening, a heart at breakpoint, i'd wish i had a gun to my head,at pointblank, then bang, i won't see you next time gang !

People tell you to love yourself first, i tried, i tell you my heart dont give a fuck.

People tell you to enjoy each second of your life but mine's spent to imagine how to end it all.

Meditate, of course i meditate too, until i read « ask the universe and receive »

still waiting my packages, still lying, still crying, if its in chronological order,

maybe the cancer i wanted when i had 20 will come for my 40 before my shorty but damn,

40years more to be alone , no thanks, i won't try that shit ever again

in this life and in the next i'll be sure to finish it off before getting the same.

As kid cudie said, i get low then i get high,

unfortunatly they arnt proportionnal, my low so low my highest high dont reach the ground

or maybe six under, clearly not touching the sky.

Note that this is a cry for help and if i disapear without saying goodbye,

you will never have to wonder why.

I'm writing this and gettin high, for some times, guess i'll have to do it again every now and then.

Yes i have problems, but talking about them to a stranger when i have familly member, wich one should i bother in the end, isnt it a good question my friend ? i bet if i put it on facebook i'd still receive no comment.

Why is there no one for me when i though i was always there when people needed...

Well don't bother, i guess you wouldn't be the one i wanted.

(forgot about this. Didnt want to put it out originaly, last year.

I'm good now. 

People who feel as shitty as i did.

Dont give up. Check who's your real friends/familly.

You should not feel lonely if you got good ones.

And If theres none ?

Your self will always be there, dont let him down.

Dont you dare give up on me. I didnt.

You guyz are ALL needed.

So save yourself,value yourself.

Then let's all save this fucked up world from itself.)