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Plot Armor Agency

"Alright, listen up, you ungrateful peasant readers. Yeah, you, sitting there, thinking you know better than me about my story. Just because I threw in a little—just a little—plot armor, everyone loses their minds. Like, come on, you dumbshit! It's my novel. If I want my characters to survive an apocalypse by tripping over a conveniently placed banana peel, then so be it. Go ahead, call it lazy writing. Call it bullshit. But I know you love it. You can’t get enough of my endless, godlike creativity. And don’t you dare pretend otherwise." That was what I just typed in a fit of rage before pressing enter and sending it out as an announcement. They will rage, I knew. They will be infuriated, obviously. But I was living for that. However, then… this one weird comment pops up, it says, “Wanna change the storyline of billions of novels with your plot armor?” "Great, another joker." But whatever. I’m intrigued. So I click. And, holy hell, my computer screen goes haywire, flashing like a rave in a mental asylum. A shadowy figure appears, all mysterious and ominous, like it's ripped straight out of one of my more “experimental” chapters. And before I can blink, it says, “Welcome to the Plot Armor Agency. Your services are required. Your task: Rewrite reality.” Plot Armor Agency Server : https://discord.gg/bZJ5v6jA8B Also on RoyalRoad.

HandsomeKimDokja · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
77 Chs

Stories

He sat there, staring at the glowing shop window. The pit in his stomach deepened as he realized just how badly he'd screwed up. The lowest-priced storyline available was 100 Int Coins—the exact amount he had. But it wasn't just about the storylines. He needed food. Clothes. Basic things to survive. There were no magic plot twists here, no miraculous banana peel saving his life. There was no plot armor for him. No shortcuts. No lucky encounters. He was alone, in a world that couldn't care less whether he lived or died.

The weight of his situation settled heavily on his shoulders, making him feel like the miserable trash Scarlet had said he was. But as much as he wanted to curl up and give in, something inside him stirred. No. He couldn't just sit here and wallow in self-pity. He had to figure this out. He had no other choice.

As he struggled to his feet, a window appeared in front of him, hovering in the air with a faint blue glow.

Plot Armor Genius Activated

A flood of strange sensations hit him, like a thousand neurons firing at once, trillions of connections lighting up in his brain. He felt his mind sharpen, his thoughts becoming clear and precise. The system's description flashed before his eyes:

Plot Armor Genius: The ability to process problems at a transcendent level.

"Well, that's something," he thought, smirking bitterly. He didn't have any plot armor to save him from this mess, but maybe, just maybe, his brain could pull him through.

Ignoring the Daily Living section for now—he knew he couldn't afford a single item there—he opened the Storyline Shop. Five sections appeared, with the headings clear except for a few that were blurred out and locked:

- Novels

- Mature (18+) Novels

- [Locked]

- [Locked]

- [Locked]

His eyes immediately landed on the *Mature* section. A grin spread across his face. "I'm a cultured man," he whispered to himself, his mood lifting for the first time in hours. He chuckled as a thought popped into his head. "My fellow readers, just wait for me. Your brother's gonna lose his virginity today!"

He clicked the section with excitement, his mind racing with possibilities. "I'm coming, baby," he whispered, eyes twinkling with hope. But as the list of novels opened up, his excitement was instantly crushed. The minimum price for even the lowest-tier Mature novel? 100,000 Int Coins.

It was like being hit by a truck.

He froze, then awkwardly chuckled, pretending to brush it off. "I-I was just joking, y'know? Of course I'm not gonna…" He trailed off, the bitterness returning. He clenched his fists and screamed internally. " Why?! Just WHY?! "

Slumping back onto the bed, he slammed his head into his hands, groaning at his terrible luck. After his little melodrama, he shifted his focus to the 'Novels' section. The screen flooded with familiar titles, names that sparked something in his memory:

- Martial Peak

- Demon Emperor

- Solo Leveling

- I Am The Fated Villain

- Nano Machine

The problem? The prices. His eyes widened in horror as he scrolled down the list. The cheapest ones were 500,000 Int Coins, and some of the top-tier ones were priced well beyond that.

'How the hell am I supposed to afford this?!' he thought, gritting his teeth. He cursed the system under his breath, sliding past the more expensive titles, looking for anything remotely affordable.

Then, something strange caught his eye. A title at the bottom of the list. It didn't look like the others. The font was more elegant, almost royal in its design. The name was unfamiliar, something about it giving off a strange, prestigious vibe. It looked expensive, but when he tried to select it, an error message flashed:

Low Authentication: Insufficient Credentials.

He frowned, scratching his head. 'What the hell does that mean?' He stared at the screen for a moment, contemplating why he couldn't access it, but quickly brushed it off. No point dwelling on it now. He needed something cheap and quick, just to meet his first deadline.

He randomly scrolled through the lowest-tier stories, finally settling on one that looked simple and easy to get through. A basic children's novel. 'This should be easy' , he thought, clicking the selection with a tired sigh.

But little did he know, even the lowest-tier story was about to kick his ass in ways he never imagined.

As soon as he clicked the story, the world around him shimmered, and a portal opened up in front of him. He'd missed the description, too busy wallowing in his frustration to even glance at what he'd chosen. All he saw was a name that seemed innocent enough—The Baby Story. How bad could it be, right?

A large, door-like crystal appear at the center of the room, shimmering with faint, fiery waves that seemed to dance like an illusion—both mechanical and mysterious at the same time. The light was soft, dim, almost hypnotic. He couldn't help but be drawn in, staring at the door, awestruck by its beauty.

This isn't so bad, he thought. The portal, the eerie calm, the otherworldly glow—it all felt like a dream. A soft breeze swept through the room, carrying a scent he couldn't quite place. He wasn't sure whether to feel comforted or unnerved, but something deep inside warned him this was far from a dream.

With a deep breath, he stepped through the door.

A bright flash of light blinded him, forcing him to shield his eyes. When the light finally faded, he found himself standing in a room, and his jaw nearly dropped. It was a lobby, elegant and pristine, but nothing like he had imagined. The atmosphere felt rich, almost ethereal. He glanced around nervously, his heartbeat slowing as he took in the surroundings.

Sitting behind an immaculate reception desk was the most stunning woman he had ever seen in his life. Her beauty was almost surreal, like something carved by the gods. Her hair, dark and flowing, fell effortlessly over her shoulders. Her skin had a softness to it that glowed with a kind of purity, and her eyes sparkled with a depth that made his mind go blank. Every movement she made was fluid, elegant, as if she wasn't just a person but a living piece of art.

He swallowed hard, feeling his throat go dry. "Uh… I…"

The woman smiled, and it was like a soft melody playing in the background, her voice a tender, melodic tone that sent shivers down his spine. "How may I help you, sir?" she asked, her tone as soft and gentle as a lullaby.

He blinked, trying to regain his composure. "Uh, yeah. I-I picked a storyline," he stammered, still trying to shake off the spell of her presence. "I think I'm supposed to start it now?"

The receptionist nodded, her smile never wavering. "Of course, Mr. …" She paused, glancing at her screen. "Ah, no name registered yet. Well, you'll earn that soon enough," she said with a sweet, understanding tone that only made his heart race faster.

He nodded dumbly, still lost in her gaze. "Yeah… name. I'll get that."

The receptionist, still smiling, asked, "What storyline did you select, sir?"

"Oh, uh… The Baby Story."

Her eyes widened, just for a split second, and she seemed to freeze. There was a flicker of something in her gaze—terror, shock, something darker—but she quickly composed herself. Even though her face remained calm and professional, he noticed the beads of sweat forming at her temple, the slight tremble in her hands as she gripped the desk.

"Are you… sure, sir?" she asked, her voice quivering just a little, as if she had seen a ghost but was trying desperately to maintain her composure. Her confident facade cracked ever so slightly, though she never stumbled.

He hesitated, confused by her reaction. "Yeah, I'm sure."

She gave a slow nod, but this time, her voice was barely steady. "Very well, sir." She motioned to a glowing door behind her, her movements more hurried now. "Please step through this door, and you will arrive at your storyline. May you… create a wonderful story, sir."

He furrowed his brows, still unsure why she looked so rattled. "Thanks, I guess…"

She didn't respond this time, only watching him with those wide, slightly panicked eyes as he approached the door. Something was off, but there was no turning back now.

I'm a complete newbie so please go easy on me before judging!

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