The darkness of the music of the night

"You are crying! You are afraid of me! And yet I am not wicked. Love me and you shall see! All I wanted was to be loved for myself. If you loved me I should be as gentle as a lamb, and you could do anything with me that you pleased."

-Gaston Leroux

Mishti's first week in New York was a complete nightmare. Her fears of sharing a room with Ronobir were put to rest rather anticlimactic, as only a few hours after their arrival 'home', he took off with Rishabh to fix some business and she hadn't seen him since. Shruti was nowhere to be found either and Ronobir's indisposed mother, Sudha Chatterjee, was always confined to her bedroom which was on the other side of the house. Therefore, Mishti was incredibly bored and felt so lonely that she spoke with Ananya almost every day and couldn't wait for her to visit her soon, as promised.

Not only was Mishti forced to leave her family behind but she had to quit college as well, with only a year left for graduation. She had rearranged all her classes to be online, so she ended up having no human contact at all, which was slowly driving her crazy. The only person in the entire household with whom she could have any conversation at all was the lovely cook Miss. Sudha, but she could hardly install herself in the kitchen as a permanent fixture and get in her way while she was working.

Mishti was sunbathing on one of the chairs in the stunning backyard poolside, scrolling idly through her phone. The entire state was exceptionally picturesque in its peaceful serenity but she could hardly enjoy its lush beauty, without someone by her side. She sometimes wondered if she would have preferred to have Ronobir there or whether it was better this way; because although she was undoubtedly attracted to her husband she was also extremely terrified of him.

A sing-song voice made Mishti lift her head from her phone, to see a little girl with curly hair and green eyes spinning around in the garden. She was wearing a pink tutu and her cheeks were rosy from the sun.

"Hey, that's a beautiful tutu!" Mishti said sitting up and throwing a beach wrap on top of her blue bikini. "What's your name?" she asked as the pint-sized girl approached her. She had been here for a week and hadn't seen any sign of a child living in the house.

"I am Shanaya!" the girl grinned and Mishti could see the cute gap left by two missing front teeth. "What is your name?"

"I am Mishti" she extended her hand and the little girl took it softly. "Do you live here Shanaya?"

The girl released her hand and nodded enthusiastically, twirling around adorably in front of her. "Back there," she said pointing to a series of little apartments where the staff lived. "With my nani!"

"And who is your nani?"

"She is..."

"Shanaya!" Mishti heard Miss. Sudha shout out and turned her head to see the elderly woman walking hurriedly towards them with a worried frown on her face. "I'm so sorry Mrs. Chatterjee, she sneaks away sometimes."

Mishti tried to ignore the weird feeling in the pit of her stomach when she heard herself being referred to as 'Mrs. Chatterjee', still getting used to it. "Don't worry about it" she dismissed the woman's worries. "We were just getting to know each other!"

"Mishti says my tutu is pretty," the cheerful girl said with a big smile as she bowed in front of her in a graceful curtsy. Mishti laughed softly, delighted at the darling bundle of energy and her endearing personality. "Ronny bhaiya got it for me", she said proudly, "like my shoes", she lifted her sparkly ballerina flats for Mishti to see.

Mishti stared at the girl, dumbstruck for a moment, before clearing her throat, "they are very beautiful. Your Ronny bhaiya must be very kind."

The little girl nodded eagerly. Truth be told Mishti was astounded to hear of Ronobir's sweet generosity as she had yet to see that side of him herself.

"Shanaya why don't you go and let Geeta know I'll be there in a second," Miss. Sudha said to her granddaughter, and the girl nodded before turning to Mishti.

"Nice to meet you, Miss Mishti!"

"Nice to meet you too Shanaya!"

Mishti watched with a smile as the little girl skipped away merrily, glad that perhaps there was someone whom she could spend her days with, after all. Although she wondered wryly what it said about her life that the only companion she could find was a little girl.

"How old is she?" Mishti asked.

"Six," Mrs. Sudha twisted the edges of the apron with her fingers. "Her mother died while giving birth to her."

Mishti nodded and stared at the dejected-looking woman in sympathy, "I'm sorry"

"Thank you"

"And her father?" Mishti asked a bit fearfully; the idea of this girl being her husband's child had crossed her mind briefly and she didn't want to dwell on how that made her feel.

"Died a couple of years ago too, he worked for Mr. Chatterjee."

"Oh" Mishti whispered not knowing what else to say. Death and violence were after all the only things they could expect from this brutal life they lived. "So it's just you and her now?"

"We have no one else," the elderly woman answered in a voice infused with sadness.

"And... didn't it ever occur to you... to not let her grow up in this atmosphere?" Mishti asked with genuine curiosity. She knew that for herself there had been no other option, but why was Mrs. Sudha knowingly exposing her granddaughter to this life, why was she choosing to stay with criminals rather than walking away?

"Where else would we go?" she looked at Mishti with compassion. "I've been here since I was born, I watched those two boys grow into men. My mother worked here before me. We've served the Chatterjees forever, they are our family. They protect us."

Mishti nodded while looking down; it was insane how loyal people were to this family. She wondered briefly if people were as loyal to her father or if it was something only the Chatterjees could achieve.

"He's not a bad man Miss!" Mrs. Sudha said surprising her. Mishti stared at her not knowing what to say. "I'll be heading back now," she motioned to the kitchen. "And again sorry for Shanaya, she tends to wander around!"

Mishti shook her head with a laugh as she settled down on her chair once again, "I don't mind. It'll be nice to have some company."

Mrs. Sudha nodded sadly before walking away and leaving her alone with her thoughts.

It made her unhappy to know that someone as pure and kind as that little girl would be subjected to growing up in this ruthless world, filled with darkness and violence, left with no choice but to accept her fate helplessly just as Mishti had to.

Then her mind wandered to her husband; Ronobir was an enigma, a mystery she had yet to fathom. He was a contradiction; she knew there was darkness inside him, she had seen it herself, yet there was also something else. It was that something which made people close to him respect and defends him; it was that something which made him walk away from her bedroom on their wedding night, and it was that something she saw in his eyes on those occasions he stared at her when he thought she wasn't looking. She now had to figure out what that something was!

And it was a glimpse of that very something she observed on the afternoon Ronobir arrived from his trip. She was lounging lazily on the window seat of their bedroom when she saw him in the garden, lifting and twirling a giggling Shanaya high in the air. Her breath hitched in her throat at the sight; in that carefree moment, he was not the ruthless Ronobir Chatterjee she had come to know, but a man she was clueless about.

And when his sparkling eyes lifted and caught hers across the window she saw only warmness in them; a warmth that she had not experienced before. His upper lip tipped in a half-smile and she had to step away from the window as her pulse raced at the sheer intensity and power of the experience. Her heart was hammering a mile a minute as she sat on the bed trying to make sense of the man that was Ronobir Chatterjee.

Nighttime arrived, but Mishti remained locked in the bedroom completely alone until Ronobir walked in and asked her to go out with him. Her first impulse was to deny him but then she remembered the tender look on his face when Shanaya was in his arms and found herself agreeing to go with him. Mishti had always loved a mystery and right now nothing intrigued her more than her husband.

She expected him to take her to one of the many extravagant restaurants owned by his family, but he surprised her by taking her to his favorite place in the entire city; an unassuming little eatery that didn't belong to him.

The place was small and very rustic, a simple sign that read pizzeria adorned the entrance, a warm light came from the interior and Mishti inhaled the delicious aroma of the cheese wafting outside.

"Are you sure this is safe?" she said looking around; the tiny restaurant was in a dark and very secluded part of the city.

Ronobir chuckled as he held her hand; she did not stop him or let go of his hand. It made her feel safe.

"Trust me no one is going to mess with us!" he answered as he led her through the threshold of the restaurant.

Small, square tables covered with red and white checkered tablecloths dotted the place; noise and bustle filled her ears as waiters walked to and fro at a frenetic speed.

"Best pizza in town!" he murmured as he led her to one of the free tables at the back. He nodded and greeted several people as they walked towards their table. He was probably a regular here, Mishti thought to herself. Even though in the beginning she had found it odd that he had chosen to bring her here, she was grateful now; as she much preferred this charming place to his fancy restaurants.

"I think you were supposed to say the food they serve in your restaurants is the best in town!" she said once they were seated and a waiter handed them a menu.

"That would be a lie!" he smirked at her from across the table. "This place is owned by Sikander's family; you have met him."

Mishti nodded, how could she forget the man who had been her shadow for over a week?

"His mother is from Italy and makes the most delicious pizza. No matter how hard I've begged she refuses to give me the recipe." His expression was almost childlike and Mishti was amazed to be witnessing this new side of Ronobir today.

"Do you want to try anything special?" he asked as her eyes scanned the menu.

"I think you should pick since I've never been here. I'll trust your choices," she answered and watched his face brighten up at her response, although it was almost imperceptible she had still seen it.

"Wine?" he asked and she nodded her assent. She figured if she was going to spend a whole night with her husband she might as well imbibe some alcohol.

Ronobir called the waiter and ordered a bottle of Giacomo Conterno Monfortino and a Quatro Stagioni pizza. "You are going to die when you try it; I swear it feels like soft clouds in your mouth!"

Mishti smiled, "I don't know how clouds feel in my mouth..."

"You'll know tonight!" he smiled back at her and a warm feeling spread in her stomach. Mishti was letting her guard down tonight and something was telling her he was doing the same thing.

The waiter placed a plate filled with prosciutto, salami, mortadella, olives, and several types of cheeses garnished with a few springs of parsley and dried tomatoes on the table. Ronobir motioned for her to start and since she was famished, she took a piece of Parmigiano-Reggiano in her mouth, moaning softly as the flavors hit her taste buds and saw his eye darken at the sound. "This is so good!" she said as she took another piece. "You should try it!" she gestured to the plate as her upper lip curved in a flirtatious smile.

He took a bite of prosciutto, and Mishti unconsciously licked her lips as he caught the food between his teeth, his mouth moving sensually. The man-made even the mere act of eating looks sexy.

"Tell me about yourself," he said and she had to blink a few times to understand his words since she had been mesmerized by the movement of his lips while he ate.

"What?" she stuttered.

"I realize we started on the wrong foot", he said sheepishly, "I want to know more about you"

Mishti stared at him for a few seconds without answering, and just as she was about to open her mouth to say something, the waiter arrived with their bottle of wine. Ronobir took the bottle and poured the glasses himself as the waiter retired. Mishti had never tried that particular wine and when the liquid hit her tongue she wanted to moan in pure pleasure.

"Like clouds?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

Mishti took another sip and felt the sheer silken texture dissolve in her mouth. "This is what clouds must feel like!" she exclaimed. When her eyes opened she saw him staring at her with a huge grin and she suddenly felt robbed of breath at how breathtakingly beautiful he was.

Ronobir was a man that should be smiling all the time.

"You" she cleared her throat and stared directly into his eyes. "I want to know about you"

Ronobir nodded thoughtfully, "Fair enough." He took another sip of his wine and placed the glass back on the table, Mishti was still clutching hers tightly. "I am thirty-two, and I have a major in corporative business management. I spent thirteen years living in Italy and still like to go there frequently, my favorite part of Italy is Cinque Terre and I speak five languages fluently!"

"Five?" Mishti asked with wide eyes. Both Pari and Ansh could speak English and Italian but she was ashamed to admit she had never learned.

He nodded, "English, Italian, French, Spanish, and Russian."

"Damn, you must be one hell of a student!"

His eyes darkened as he looked into her eyes deeply and said softly, "I like to think of myself as persevering." She felt a shiver run down her spine at his velvety voice and was grateful when the waiter appeared with their pizza.

One bite and Mishti was a goner. Ronobir had been right about the pizza and she decided at that moment that this was her favorite place in the city too. The mozzarella was so rich, the peppers were heavenly and the mix of salami, artichokes, and mushrooms felt like an explosion to her taste buds.

"I am never eating pizza anywhere else!" she proclaimed after finishing her second slice.

The night moved along smoothly and as the wine flowed freely between them, Mishti started to feel more and more relaxed. She had never imagined being with Ronobir could be so easy; he was showing her a side of himself she hadn't seen before, and she was finding she rather liked and enjoyed this unexpected version of him.

As the food and the wine subsided, and their inhibitions lessened, they moved onto more serious subjects like the deal he had struck with her father to make her his wife.

"He wanted protection and power, and I gave it to him." He answered nonchalantly as he picked up the remaining olive on his plate.

"But why?" she asked. "He could have given you anything you wanted. Hell, Pari was probably a better option for this than me!"

He gazed at her with such fierce intent, she feared he was going to burn a hole in her face, "I wanted you!" he said simply, his voice thick with emotion and filled with darkness.

"But why Ronobir? Why were you so drawn to me? What did I do to attract you like that?" she asked with genuine interest. She had been racking her brain for days trying to figure out what he had seen in her that had made him want her so vehemently.

"You did nothing" he murmured, and she wondered if it was the wine or the topic of their conversation. "There's something about you, you are light"

"Light?"

"I need light so much!" His expression was almost sad and she felt as if her heart was being squeezed in her chest cavity.

"Do you enjoy it?", she asked and he raised an eyebrow at her question, "this life..."

"I do" he nodded while reaching for his glass. "I like having the power"

"But do you enjoy the violence?"

"I think some sick part of me does," He answered truthfully before taking a big gulp of his wine. "I was born into this Mishti, it's who I am."

"I don't think it's all you are," she leaned her elbows on the table and stared at him. She saw his jaw clenching and wondered if perhaps she had gone too far with her comment.

"But it is. I was groomed for this since the moment I was born. I was the eldest Chatterjee; there was never a way out for me." He downed the contents of his glass and reached for the bottle to pour himself more. "This is our family, Mishti, nothing is more important than that"

Mishti nodded, knowing what he was referring to. The business was always going to come first no matter what. After all, that was the reason she married him, not because her father feared for their lives but because he knew that it was the best option for his business.

"Do you feel that way?" she asked quietly.

"Pardon me?"

Mishti reached for the bottle and poured more wine into her glass. If she was going to continue with this conversation she would need liquid courage and she might as well be fully drunk. "My dad gave me to you because it fits him and his business, would you do that? The Mafia family is also your priority?"

Ronobir seemed to mull over her words for a few minutes, his mouth opening and shutting as he searched for the correct answer to give her, "My business is a priority but I would never choose it over Rishabh!"

Mishti nodded in understanding; both relief and sadness washing over her. Relief because maybe there was something to be saved in Ronobir after all and sadness because she understood that whatever he felt was reserved for his brother and not what he felt for her. She didn't think he would choose her over the business, her father hadn't.

"I will protect you Mishti" his voice was deep as he spoke. Her eyes snapped back to his and what she saw in them disarmed her. "You are my family now, you're a Chatterjee and I will protect you." It was as if he had read her mind. Something warm and tingly started to make its way and spread inside her even as she fought it; because she knew if she allowed herself to open to him he would weasel his way in to never come out.

"Nevertheless you decided to hurt me," she whispered and watched him flinch at her words.

"It was never my intention!"

"And yet you seem unable to even ask for forgiveness!"

He looked taken aback at her comment and Mishti knew it was the end of their night, she wasn't wrong. Ronobir stayed quiet and looked somber for a few minutes before signaling the waiter for the check. They stumbled unevenly out of the restaurant, both a little drunk and Ronobir was grateful that he had decided to come with his driver instead of driving himself.

Once inside the car, he put the screen up so he and Mishti would remain in privacy, the air was thick with the tension of unspoken words. She rested her head on the glass window as she watched the city pass by.

"I wanted to hurt you," he whispered and her head snapped up as she raised her bewildered eyes to meet his.

"Why?"

"Because I'm sick," his eyes looked tortured. "I wanted to break you and then I wanted to be the one that put you back together again"

Mishti moved closer to him, the heady scent of his cologne filling her nostrils, "I don't understand."

He closed his eyes and slumped back in his seat, "I don't either."

"You hurt me," Mishti whispered.

"I know!"

His eyes snapped back open and he leaned forward, invading her personal space.

"But I want you..." she said huskily.

He nodded, "I know"

"Does that make me as sick as you?"

The corner of his lip curved in a sad smile, "You are light my love, pure light." He raised his hand and caressed her cheek softly, "You could never be like me."

"Then why can't I seem to turn my back to you?"

His head leaned forward until their foreheads were pressed together, their breaths mingling as he murmured in his intoxicating and velvety voice, "Because light complements darkness, one can't exist without the other."

"Ronobir..."

"Yes?"

"Kiss me"

He didn't waste a minute and latched his lips on to hers, her heart fluttered in her chest with the first touch of his mouth on hers. He was frantic as he kissed her, his hand fumbling around her clothes, tugging and scraping everywhere he could touch. Their tongues danced with each other, tracing and retracing the contours of the other's mouth. Mishti felt intoxicated, her desire for him was almost overwhelming, his scent filled her nostrils and the tingle between her legs kept growing with every touch of his lips. The slick dampness and the insistent throbbing in her core demanded his attention and she nudged her hips toward him seeking to create some friction.

Without knowing how she found herself lying on the seat with her legs parted as he ravished her mouth, the wet sounds of their tongues fighting against each other filling the cramped space of the backseat.

"Kiss me, babydoll," he murmured against her lips as his hand massaged her hips sensually, the hardest part of his body was in direct contact with the softest of hers and she couldn't help but rub against it shamelessly, trying to relieve the aching need between her legs. He groaned hoarsely and she felt him grow even harder, his eyes wild with need and a fierce desire.

His mouth abandoned her lips and moved towards her neck, nipping and nuzzling her soft skin as his hands wandered toward her chest. Mishti arched her back offering her body to him, her breasts felt full and heavy and she wanted nothing more than for him to touch them. Her body was screaming for the completion only he could give her.

Mishti was in pure ecstasy as he worshiped her body, she felt like she was about to explode with need if he didn't move closer, she wanted to feel him everywhere.

"Please stop!" he broke apart from her and she was left panting as he sat up and tried to fix his tousled hair.

"What?" she asked breathlessly.

His lips tipped in a smirk and he gestured towards the window, "The car has stopped." Mishti closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. "I won't have you for the first time in the back of my car babydoll" He leaned down and placed one last kiss on her swollen lips before offering his hand so she could sit up.

Mishti fixed her appearance and they left the car in complete silence, no other words were uttered as they got ready for bed. As Mishti was about to climb into bed he excused himself and went to see Rishabh to talk about business.

Mishti sighed as she threw the covers over her body, her little shorts and tank top felt too tight against her body, she was still incredibly horny and she knew now nothing but Ronobir would be able to relieve this burning need in her.

She stared at the ceiling as she contemplated how unexpectedly tonight had turned out; she had seen a different side of Ronobir and had allowed herself to open to him. She didn't know if it was the food or the wine but something had shifted between them and she wasn't sure she liked where this was going.

Mishti didn't want to feel anything for him.

She was already drifting off to sleep when she heard the door of the bedroom open and heard him shuffling across the room. She tried to steady her heartbeat and kept her eyes closed, not wanting him to know that she was awake. Her skin tingled when he climbed into bed with her and her heart almost burst out of her chest when he moved around until he was spooning her, his arm placed firmly around her stomach.

"I am sorry sweetcheeks!" he whispered against her neck.

He kissed her shoulder softly and nuzzled his face in her hair. Within minutes Mishti felt his even breaths on her neck, he was fast asleep.

Although Mishti had never learned to speak Italian fluently like her siblings, she knew enough to understand his words. She relaxed into his embrace and drifted away, tangled in a web of confusion that was Ronobir Chatterjee.