Everything that you did, you did to me

"Am I a thing worth saving, huh? Am I a righteous man? The world wants me gone!

What about me? I love you so much... And I tried to make you go away... I killed you and it didn't help. And I hate it! I hate that it's so hard... and that you can hurt me so much. I know everything that you did because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. I can't."

-Joss Whedon

Several days passed between the time Ronobir had walked out of their bedroom and Mishti had seen him last and the day he returned. There were no phone calls or messages in between and not even the well-informed Shruti knew what was happening with the Chatterjee brothers although she was constantly reassuring Mishti that they were okay and they would return soon.

The anxiety was killing her and she had no idea how to handle it, this was something she was not accustomed to feeling. In the past whenever her father or Ansh bhaiya were missing for a long, she never thought much about it, she preferred to carry on in blissful ignorance, pretending they were doing some other kind of business. It was only now she realized how naïve and foolish she had been, now that she knew exactly where Ronobir was she couldn't stop worrying about him, despite herself.

She spent most of her mornings in the kitchen with Miss. Sudha, learning authentic Italian recipes; or in the pool with Shruti and Shanaya; finished every single one of her assignments and tried to keep her mind occupied, but the entire time, thoughts of Ronobir plagued and tormented her, worrying her and not leaving her head one single minute of each day he was gone.

Mishti finally saw him again on the night of the sixth day; she was in her pajamas and about to crawl into bed when she heard the commotion downstairs, she immediately threw on a robe and dashed out of the room.

They were all in the living room; Shruti was hugging a very tired-looking Rishabh while he whispered reassuring words in her ear. He and Sikander were both bruised but looked fine, Ronobir on the other hand looked anything but fine. He was covered in sweat and limping as he pressed his hand to the right side of his torso.

"Nee..." she let out a breathless whimper from where she was standing at the bottom of the stairs, her heart in her mouth. His eyes snapped up at her and for a second she saw relief and happiness at seeing her before they abruptly frosted over and the cold stranger reappeared.

"Seems you didn't pray hard enough Scarlet, I didn't die," Mishti was so taken aback at the harshness of his words that she didn't even know how to respond. She felt a twinge of hurt in her heart and she stepped back, eyes wide with emotions.

"Ronny!" Shruti admonished him because she knew how sick with worry Mishti had been over the last few days.

He ignored his sister-in-law and walked towards his wife who remained frozen on the spot, his eyes drinking her in, the short, flimsy robe did nothing to hide her long shapely legs and smooth skin, and he felt himself getting hard at the sight of her despite the extreme situation he was in.

"Thought you might get lucky soon honey, I might not make it past today!" he whispered in her ear before continuing his path up the stairs.

"What are you talking about?" Mishti asked with a frown, her heart thudding with fear as she spun around and watched his retreating back as he went past her. He didn't offer an answer so Mishti turned to Rishabh, seeking an explanation.

Rudra, a man Mishti had seen only a couple of times, walked in with worried eyes and looked at Rishabh with concern, "I called Avantika, she's on her way."

The younger Chatterjee nodded and Mishti watched them puzzled, clueless about what had transpired during their trip. "What is happening, who is Avantika?"

Rishabh sighed loudly, tiredly rubbing his face with his hands, "What's going on is that my brother is a giant idiot," Rishabh muttered as he looked at Mishti, "he got shot and refused to stay in the hospital."

Mishti suddenly felt like ice was running through her veins, and dread filled her as she said aghast, "What?"

Shruti's eyes widened as she looked at her fiancé, "You brought him like that from St. Petersburg?"

Rishabh directed an annoyed glance in Sikander's direction, "Did he give us a choice?"

"No he didn't!" the other man replied curtly.

Shruti's worried eyes looked back and forth between Rishabh and Mishti, "How is he still standing?" she asked.

Rishabh went to the dining room to pour himself a glass of scotch from the minibar and they all followed him like the entourage of a celebrity. "They have patched him up but have advised total bed rest as the injury was severe. He told them to screw themselves, so we came back and now his stitches are open and he's been bleeding out for the last twenty minutes."

"And yet that son of a bitch is still standing," Rudra mumbled with something akin to pride in his tone.

Rishabh chuckled, "Bad weed never dies."

"But?" Mishti questioned.

Rishabh guessed where she was heading and explained who 'Avantika' was, "Avantika is the doctor of the family, she'll fix him up."

Mishti stared at him in complete shock, "He can't be fixed like that... he needs a hospital." She knew that no matter how good that girl was, there was no way Ronobir could recover fully without hospitalization and round-the-clock care, the house simply couldn't provide everything he needed.

Rishabh let out a tired sigh as he dropped himself onto the couch, "Tell him that, be my guest."

Mishti stared at the tired face of her brother-in-law and her would-be sister-in-law before stomping out of the room in the direction of Ronobir; the shock of seeing him had faded and was now being replaced by anger at his nonchalant attitude towards his injured condition.

She burst into their bedroom and found him leaning against one of the bedposts, a grimace on his face as he examined the wound on the right side of his torso. His bloodied and sweaty shirt lay discarded on the floor.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she snapped at him all the while trying to ignore the growing worry in the pit of her stomach at the sight of him like that.

"Excuse me?"

"You need a hospital Ronobir!" she walked closer to where he was standing; she could see the sweat beads glistening on his forehead and a slight tremble on his upper lip. Ronobir was in a way more pain than he was letting on.

His jaw clenched as he looked at her, "I am in the middle of a war Mishti, the last thing I need is to be in a place with easy access."

"You have like a thousand men at your command, they could keep guard over you."

"Not enough. There's no safer place for me than here."

Mishti was Hinaid at the way he was handling things, she could see how grave his wound was, and yet he was acting cavalier about it as if his life didn't matter at all. "Safer? You're going to die here, you idiot," her eyes blazed with fury as she looked at him.

He moved away from the bedpost, and she could see how hard it was for him not to wince at the effort it took. "Well then you should be leaving me alone, the faster I die the faster you're free," he spat out, his face so close to her that their noses were almost touching.

She shook her head in complete frustration. She couldn't believe he could think she was as heartless as to wish something like that for him, "You don't have a clue of what you're saying!"

He laughed scathingly, "I don't? Oh please, I think I know more than you." He raised one of his hands to take hold of her chin, leaving blood stains on her flawless skin. "So you better start praying darling because that is the only way you'll ever be free of me." His eyes were dark brown and wild as he stared at her, the beast peeking out from inside him. "Otherwise I will chase you until the ends of the world if I have to, you'll never get away from me," his words were a jumbled mess as his voice slurred. Mishti could feel how feverish his skin was from where he was touching her and she knew Ronobir was not in his right mind. "So if you want and wish me dead then you better start praying sweety," he bit out as he released her chin and moved away from her, heading towards the bathroom.

Mishti stood next to the bed, her emotions alternating between anger, worry, and complete outrage at his behavior, "Go to hell Ronobir," she shouted as he entered the bathroom.

She heard his dark laugh and the soft words that followed made a shiver run down her spine, "I'm sure I'll be there soon."

Just as Rudra had promised, Avantika arrived a few minutes afterward. Ronobir had managed to take a shower but nothing more; Rishabh and Sikander had to carry him out of the bathroom and into a room in the basement. Mishti had never been in that part of the house and was surprised to find that it resembled a small clinic a lot; it made sense to have a place like this in their line of work. Ronobir was placed in a sterile room where Avantika and two other medical-looking people locked themselves for what felt like hours.

Mishti and Rishabh paced back in forth in front of the door while Shruti tried to reassure them both. Sikander and Rudra had gone to deal with the aftermath of their bloodied battle. Mishti was glad to find out that they had managed to extract Radhika from the brothel, where they held her but she was not that happy to learn the boss of the Russian mafia had declared that retaliation was in order.

Mishti had been doing some digging on the Russian mobster and knew that Salim Kamali was a man that should be feared.

When Avantika walked out of the room, the first thing Mishti noticed were her worried eyes, the young doctor told them that the bullet had been extracted with success in Russia. There was no risk of internal bleeding since the bullet didn't hit any important organ but unfortunately, the wound had gotten infected. The infection had caused a high fever which she had treated with strong antibiotics and done her best to stabilize him; so now the only thing they could do was wait to see what happened. She was positive Ronobir would walk out of this.

Rishabh gave Avantika and her assistants' rooms in the left wing of the house so that they could rest, as he didn't want them leaving the house until his brother was out of danger. He, Mishti, Shruti, and even Mamta Chatterjee remained in the small waiting area in front of the room where Ronobir was resting.

Mishti paced back and forth outside his door. Rishabh had been with him for a few minutes a while ago, but after that, he hadn't allowed anyone else to go inside, "I want to see him."

Rishabh raised his eyes from his phone, "Later." He was resting on one end of the black leather couches while his fiancée was tucked away sleeping on the other side.

"Rishu..." Mamta admonished in a soft warning tone from where she was resting across the room from her younger son.

Mishti's nostrils flared as she faced her brother-in-law, "Don't give me that, he's my husband and I want to see him."

Rishabh shook his head, "He's resting. He needs to get better."

She didn't know whether it was the lack of sleep, the worry, or the intensity and stress of the situation, but she couldn't hold in her emotions any longer and she snapped at him, "If you want him to get better then send him to a hospital."

He let out an exasperated sigh, as he flung his phone on the small coffee table in front of him, "Don't start again Mishti."

"This is stupid Rishabh and you know it", his fever hadn't broken yet and Mishti was getting anxious, as she knew he would have a better chance at survival if he was in a hospital.

"What do you want me to do Mishti?"

"Take him to a bloody hospital!"

"I can't disobey the orders of my boss."

Mishti clenched her fists at her sides, completely enraged with the younger Chatterjee, "Bullshit! Your boss is dying!"

Rishabh looked conflicted for a moment before he schooled his expression back to the mask of calmness he always wore, "He'll be fine, Ronobir is a tough one, he'll make it out alive."

Mishti shook her head in complete disbelief, "You're so stupid!"

"Cut it out, Mishti!" Rishabh warned.

"He needs to be in a hospital!"

"Where anyone can have easy access to him, is that what you want? You have no idea what kind of war we are in the middle of Mishti; Avantika knows what she's doing. Ronobir will be fine."

"I can't believe this..."

Rishabh stood up abruptly, taking long strides to cover the distance to where she was standing, and hovered over her, cutting her sentence abruptly, "What do you care anyway? You feel nothing for him. It would be better for you if he just died."

Mishti closed her eyes and screamed, "Shut up!"

"Rishabh..." Shruti, who was now fully awake, warned as she walked closer to her fiance.

"It's the truth isn't it?" he looked Mishti straight in the eyes, her bottom lip quivering as angry tears threaten to fall from her eyes. "You don't give a damn about my brother so don't come here making demands when your words mean nothing."

"Rishabh stop it!" Mamta reprimanded her son.

"Calm down, damn it!" Shruti tugged at his sleeve until he was facing her. The exhausted girl wrapped her arms around her fiance and started dragging him up the stairs all the while murmuring sweet words into his ears.

He stopped abruptly and spun around "Mishti..."

She raised her chin as her red-rimmed eyes stared at him with steely resolve, "He's my husband and you can't keep me out. I'm going inside whether you want it or not!"

He nodded solemnly, "Okay," he said before letting Shruti take him upstairs.

Mishti turned around and met a small, warm smile from Mamta Chatterjee; that woman was still an enigma to Mishti and she had no idea how to act around her. "Go on," she told her, "I know he's waiting for you."

Mishti stared at the closed door and took a deep breath before entering. She felt her heart jump to her throat when she saw the injured form of her husband lying helplessly on the bed, and she was assailed by a wave of emotion so strong, it knocked her breathless. The ruthless, calloused Ronobir Chatterjee looked as vulnerable as a child as he lay there.

Warm tears started trailing down her cheeks, and Mishti was completely taken aback by the intensity of the emotions swirling inside her. Without knowing how or when Ronobir had carved a way inside her heart and had managed to make her feel for him. When had the hate changed to these strong emotions? she knew that she couldn't bear the thought of losing him.

Why? Why did she feel so strongly about a man who had cared so little for her choices? What was it about him that drew her to him so powerfully? Why did she feel such a strong connection and affinity to a man as cruel and cold as he was?

What did that say about her?

With shaky legs, she walked until she was at his side and sat next to him, "Ronny!" she whispered as she took one of his immobile hands in hers. These were the very hands that had killed men, hands that had caused more harm than she ever wanted to know about, yet these were the same hands that had caressed her body so tenderly at times and so passionately at others, these were the hands that had taken her to unimaginable heights of delight, eliciting an immediate response when they touched her skin lovingly, yet right now they were lifeless, they held no strength. Mishti realized that at this moment Ronobir was as vulnerable as he would ever be.

Her head was a jumbled mess; she wanted to wish him dead, she wanted to feel anger and hatred toward the man who had taken so much from her but she just couldn't. Did that mean that deep down she was as messed up as he was? That there was a part of her that craved the darkness he could provide her? Did she want to be his princess of darkness?

"Mishti...?" her eyes snapped to his face when she heard his soft murmur.

His eyes were barely open as he looked around the room in evident distress, "Hey, it's okay. You're okay!" Mishti leaned down and placed a hand to feel his warm forehead.

"You have to tell them," he rasped out.

A frown appeared on her face, "Tell them what?"