Beauty in darkness

"Mother you don't understand.

I made Hades run to me.

He saw my bones beneath

And offered me half of his kingdom

Do you think I ate the fruit unwillingly?"

-Lore Olympus

Mishti hung up and sighed as she let herself fall listlessly against the cushioned pillows on her bed, she had been talking with Ananya on the phone and her friend had assured her that she would do her best to be in New York later that week. Mishti was grateful for the chance because she needed some alone time and bonding with her childhood best friend. Shruti was great and had been so supportive lately but there were things she couldn't understand because of her deep involvement with The Chatterjees, things that Mishti could only share with Ananya because of their lifelong ties and no conflict of interest.

It had been two days since Ronobir woke up from that hellish fever but she had barely gotten the chance to see him or be with him. Rudra, Rishabh, and Sikander monopolized most of his time, discussing future strategies and plans in that sterile clinic-like room. Ronobir had been strangely open with Mishti lately when she visited him; those were the moments Mishti liked to take advantage of. The realization that she was bothered by the fact that she only got a handful of such minutes in a day with him, really bothered Mishti. She didn't want to think about what it meant, how insidiously he had crept up on her, and how much she wanted to get a peak at the man inside the armor of glib indifference.

Why did she care?

It frightened her how much she was growing to like Ronobir. When his guard was down he was funny and thoughtful, she had discovered that they had a lot of things in common and that she enjoyed spending time with him, the mere thought scared the hell out of her.

She looked at the darkened night sky outside the window and realized it was probably time she left the room and went to the kitchen for a snack since she wasn't feeling famished and didn't want to have a big dinner. She threw on her silk robe over her pajamas and walked out of the room toward the kitchen.

The room was silent except for the low buzz of the refrigerator, Mishti ate a couple of crackers with a piece of cheese and drank a cup of her favorite tea while her thoughts swirled around her husband and what she was starting to feel for him. As if the mere act of thinking about him could materialize him, he appeared in the kitchen standing casually at the entrance. He was still a bit banged up but managed to stand just fine.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" Mishti asked from where she was sitting on a stool.

"That's what Avantika wants, but I've had enough of that place," he said gesturing in the direction of the clinic-like place they had built in the basement. "I want to be back in my room." His words sent a shiver of anticipation down her spine and she hated herself for the reaction her body always had to this man.

"You sure that's all right? You were completely out of it, only two days ago Ronobir." Mishti asked while her eyes moved to the bandage covering his side, because yes, Ronobir had entered the kitchen shirtless, a fact she was trying so hard not to notice as her eyes kept straying to his toned chest and velvety skin.

"It'll be fine. I'm not that breakable." He was about to sit on the stool next to hers when the paddling of little feet and a loud shout of joy came from the entrance.

"Ronny bhaiya!" Shanaya came hurtling towards him and he kRonobired with a wince so he could be on eye level with her. "Nani said you were sick," she threw her hands around his neck, and he held her to his body with a warm smile, "I wanted to see you but she said I couldn't. Are you okay now?"

"Yes I am fine," he said as she pulled away from his embrace and stared into his smiling face.

Mishti watched the scene with rapt attention; it was baffling for her to reconcile this soft and tender version of him with the one she knew. "It was just a scratch," he gestured towards the patch on his side.

"I'll help you make it better," the girl chirped and kissed two of her fingers and placed them on his wound. "Better now?"

Ronobir chuckled and squeezed her cheeks softly, " Oh I am feeling much better Shanaya!"

Mishti almost melted in her seat at the scene in front of her, when people said there was nothing cuter than a man with a child, they were right she thought to herself because her insides were exploding into a million tiny pieces at the sight of Ronobir with Shanaya.

"Is Mishti going to take care of you?" the little girl asked innocently as she directed her gaze towards Mishti who looked back at them startled at the query.

Ronobir snickered and raised an eyebrow in the direction of his wife, "I don't know. Are you going to 'take care of me' sweetie?" he asked seductively.

Mishti blushed and gave him an annoyed look, smiling sweetly at the girl as she said, "Of course, I will!"

"Shanaya!" the girl's eyes widened when she heard her nani's angry voice in the distance.

"I think she's angry," she said.

"Where are you?" Mrs.Sudha entered the kitchen with a worried look on her face. "I already told you, you shouldn't be roaming around the house so late at night," she admonished the girl who left Ronobir's side and went to her Nani's'. "I'm so sorry Ronobir baba, Mishti madam!" the elderly lady said.

"No worries!" Mishti said softly.

"It's not a problem, Sudha aunty," Ronobir said while standing up, his hand moving to his bandaged side.

"Thank you. But it's already time this little one was in bed," she gestured to her granddaughter who looked at her guiltily as she clutched her hand tightly. "We should be going!"

"Goodnight Shanaya!"

"Goodnight Ronny bhaiya!"

Ronobir watched the retreating figure with a smile on his face and Mishti found herself captivated by his expression, he was a handsome man but when he smiled he was truly beautiful.

He turned towards her and they stared at each other in silence for a few minutes before he broke the ice, "Come on, let's go to bed." Mishti tried to pretend her heart didn't skip a beat at his words and stood up to follow him.

His steps were slow, as the wound was still bothering him, Mishti thought he was stubborn and should have remained in bed longer but knew it was futile to argue with him.

"Have you spoken with your friend Ananya or your mother?" he asked as they went up the stairs.

"I just spoke to Ananya a few minutes ago."

"You should ask them to come. I'll have the jet ready to pick them up," Mishti looked at him astonished as they headed towards their room. "Don't be so surprised Mishti, I've seen how gloomy you have been looking lately, I think it will be nice for you to have them here"

"Well thank you, Ronobir, I'll let them know" Mishti answered absently. She didn't tell him that Ananya already had plans to come, her mind was busy thinking about how differently Ronobir had been behaving toward her recently.

They entered the bedroom in silence, Mishti went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face as Ronobir climbed into bed, feeling exhausted despite being up for a few minutes only.

After she left the bathroom, she went to sit in front of the mirror of her beautiful dressing table and brushed her long hair while he lay against the pillows on the bed, their gaze met each other in the mirror for a speculative second before she looked away placing the brush on top of her lap.

"What's going to happen now Ronobir?" he quirked an eyebrow at her question. "Don't play dumb with me," she said as she turned around on the stool, so she could stare at him fully.

Dark circles still marred the skin under his eyes and he looked paler than usual but other than that Ronobir was almost fully recovered. Mishti admired her husband's strength of will because, in a matter of days, he was almost back to his old self.

"We have made plans. Salim won't stay hidden for long, now that his brother is dead so we'll have to be ready when he decides to show up." His voice was steady as he spoke. Ronobir had reasoned that it was better to keep Mishti updated on things instead of keeping her in the dark like his father always did with his mother, ignorance made her vulnerable.

Mishti nodded as if his words made sense to her, then she turned around once again and stared at herself in the mirror for a second time before placing the brush on top of the dressing table and standing up. Ronobir's gaze moved to her long legs barely covered by the tiny satin shorts she slept in, Mishti could feel his eyes on her as she went to switch off the lights.

"Shruti said you don't deal in sex slavery and child abuse," Mishti said as she walked to the bed, the room was in complete darkness except for the light of a small bedside lamp Ronobir had on. "What do you deal in?"

Ronobir looked at her with genuine surprise, "You really don't know much about this, do you?" he stated as she crawled under the covers, the heat of his body making her tingle all over.

"Daddy never talked about his business whenever I or mom was present," she adjusted the pillow behind her and propped herself on her elbow so she could stare at him. "Whenever Ansh bhaiya or he would come home wounded we were supposed to pretend nothing had happened."

Ronobir chuckled darkly, at how ridiculous Ishaan Khanna had been, trying to protect his baby girl from the reality of his work yet handing her over to the most dangerous man of them all. "We deal with guns...and some drugs here and there but that's mostly your father's territory."

Mishti gasped and he almost laughed at her reaction, her innocence was so refreshing to him. Whenever he was around her he felt lighter, more at peace than ever before.

She tried to regain her composure quickly, Ronobir was in a talkative mood and she always liked to make the most of these moments when he was open to her. "Do you kill for a living?"

Ronobir snickered, "No Mishti, I am not a hitman. But yes I've killed and yes I will do it again because a lot of deaths occur in a war and this world is a never-ending war."

"But..."

"Do I enjoy it? Not in the way you think."

"How is that?"

"I relish in the power it brings, how powerful it makes you feel but no, watching another man stop breathing and knowing it's because of me is not something I particularly enjoy nor I ever will. Death is not a pretty thing"

Mishti nodded silently, somehow trying to understand his words and what they meant. "Why are you THE BOSS of all the bosses? It's because your father was?"

He moved slightly so he could rest on his side, wincing faintly when his wound brushed against the bed. "No, it's because I've earned it!" She was about to ask how but the look he gave her signaled that she wouldn't want to know the details. "But before my father there hadn't been one in ages"

"Really?"

"Yeah, that's why the commission was created, to keep every family at bay since there wasn't a boss who could reign over all of them."

"But the commission still exists right?" Mishti asked, recalling something she heard Shruti mention the other day.

Ronobir nodded, a smirk forming on his lips, "They do but we all know they're not the ones who hold the power. I am." In the darkness of the night, his shining eyes and mischievous smile were frightening, but instead of scaring her, they sent an electrifying thrill down her back which she felt down to her toes. Mishti wondered briefly if she might have been already losing her mind.

"He must have been a very powerful man."

"Yes, he was."

She moved closer to him on the bed and stared at him intently, as his eyes darted toward her lips she licked them instinctively. "What was he like?"

Ronobir seemed taken aback by her question, but he didn't take long to compose himself. "He was hard. He wanted for us to be the best, ever since I was a little boy he groomed me for the life he wanted me to have."

Mishti detected a sad tone in his voice and instantly wanted to know more about the man that had raised her husband. "What do you mean he groomed you?"

"He made me the best!" he stated simply but when he saw the questioning look in her eyes, he knew that she expected more than one simple sentence. "When I was a little boy I was scared of cockroaches..."

"I don't think there's anyone who isn't" Mishti murmured.

"They terrified me to death, he was present one day when I saw one and ran to my mom asking her to kill it. The next day he arrived with a wooden box... it was filled with them." He swallowed and Mishti's eyes darted to his Adam's apple bobbing up and down nervously, "He put me inside and locked it, he said I had to overcome my fear and kill them all If I wanted to be free."

"Bappa!" Mishti covered her mouth with her hands, feeling nauseous at the harsh actions of the cruel man against an innocent boy.

"I was terrified... I couldn't even kill them all. I started stomping on them, the hissing sound was louder than anything I'd ever heard before but then they started crawling up my arms and I froze, I couldn't move. I cried and cried, it felt like hours passed until the cover was removed and there was my mom, with tears in her eyes and a bruised cheek. She had come to save me."

Mishti stared at him horrified, the image of a crying little boy with frightened brown eyes would forever be etched on her brain now. "How old were you?"

"I was six"

"Ronobir..."

"Ask me if I fear them now. I don't. It was awful but I overcame my fear." There was a proud note in his voice and Mishti felt sick, thinking that he thought of that as a good experience somehow.

"Ronobir that was terrible... what he did was awful!" she almost shouted in complete outrage, upset on behalf of the boy who had to grow up under the tutelage of a tyrant like that.

"He was making me strong Mishti," he raised a hand and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Don't think too much about it"

"How could I not? That was child abuse!"

He chuckled sadly, "He knew who I was supposed to be when I grew up, he wanted me to be able to endure it." Mishti was completely horrified, both at the man's actions and at Ronobir's belief that he had done it for his best.

"It's still awful. Was he always like that?"

"He taught the hardest lessons."

Mishti stayed in horrified silence for a few seconds, her gaze lingering on the oddly open brown eyes in front of her. "Ronobir... if we have children..."

"When we have children," he corrected her and she huffed in indignation

"What?" he asked with a smirk

"Don't I have a choice in the matter"

He chuckled, "I didn't mean it like that sweetie, don't overthink. Every married couple eventually has children; it was just because of that."

She rolled her eyes at him, "Whatever. Would you do that to your children?"

"Lock them in a wooden box with bugs? Of course not!"

Mishti adjusted her position so her head was now resting on top of both of her hands; the image was incredibly innocent and made an ache grow in Ronobir's chest. "You know what I mean"

"No Mishti, I wouldn't!" he said hardheartedly.

"Why not? Isn't that something expected of you? For your children to follow in your footsteps."

"Yes but I would never force this lifestyle onto someone," she looked at him mockingly with a raised eyebrow. "You were already deep in this lifestyle love, you just didn't realize it, but what I mean is that I will never force those decisions on my children although there's nothing I would like more than for them to take over the business one day, I have the belief that this lifestyle is not something you can impose, to be the best you have to want it. Besides I am not my father!"

Her eyes were steely as she looked at him, "Good because I am not your mother either."

He smiled and moved an inch closer to her, "I know darling, I know." He brushed his nose against hers and ghosted his lips over hers. "Too many questions for one night, doll"

"I know," she answered in a shaky voice, his closeness always made her feel out of balance. "But I just want you to know I hate your father."

He stroked her cheek softly, "Don't... you're too pure to be hating on people."

"I don't think I am... I do hate him," she whispered as he moved back and clicked off the lamplight, the room cast in complete darkness. "I hate him for what he did to you."

"He made me strong"

Silence surrounded them before Mishti spoke up again, "No, you made yourself strong!"

Mishti turned her back to him and raised the sheet until it stopped below her chin; she closed her eyes and tried to steady her breath when she felt him curling behind her, his lips pressing a soft kiss on the exposed skin of her shoulders. This was the first night he was spooning her since he went to Russia and it surprised Mishti how much she had missed it, to have his skin against hers and his male smell surrounding her felt heavenly.

"Good night babydoll!" he whispered in her ear.

"Sweet dreams Ronobir!" she answered and felt him smile against her skin.