I Was Born With a Second Penis: The Double Dick System

I'd just gotten on the train after a long, hard day at the dairy plant. There were no seats left so I had to stand up, my back aching, my muscles throbbing. I just wanted to take a nice warm shower and relieve some tension.

Then, it happened, huge pillars sprang up out of the earth. They were pulsating, strange energies flowing through them. We would later find out these are mana veins pumping through the massive towers.

Monsters flooded out of these towers. They shot out all over the city, and all over the world. When the train plunged into the tunnel, we were granted a momentary reprieve from the horrors we were witnessing. Deep in that dark, dank, moist tunnel.

When we pulled out, we were attacked. Strange flying monsters flew through the windows, shattering them like flimsy condoms. Then it happened.

People began awakening. A strange white light enveloped them. At first it looked like it hurt, then it looked like they enjoyed it. Then it happened to me. Overall, I'd say it was an okay experience, but I've had better.

People were being killed all around me, but I was still feeling pretty good from the afterglow, so It wasn't a big deal. It didn't distract me from the window before me. It was a stat screen.

It showed my name: Richard Drakenschwanz

At first it said System at the top, then the words distorted and changed to: Double Dick System. I thought I'd escaped this kind of thing after high school, but apparently not.

An explanation appeared below. Double Dick, Double Stats. Double skills, Double Experience.

Then some text appeared below that. Pretty nice length and girth btw.

Then an emoji of an eggplant and some sweat.

As people screamed around me, and choked on their own blood, I wondered, is this a joke? Could I really be so lucky? Is having two dicks finally gonna pay off?

I notice the skill. Fireball. I decide to use it before my plot armor wears off.

"Fireball!" I say in a voice slightly louder than my normal speaking voice, as I point the palm of my hand at the nearest monster. Two fireballs fly out, curve, and hit the monster I was aiming at, then explode. I guess that's what it meant by two skills.

Now that I've actually done something, two monsters make their way toward me. I cast fireball again, and one ball hits each of them. Apparently my balls are aimed wherever I'm focused on.

If I mean to hit one monster, it gets both of my balls in it's face, and they blow all over it. If I'm aiming at two, they'll each feel my burning hot balls. Of course, if we weren't in a cramped train, they might be able to move from where I'm initially aiming.

Thankfully I've got a lot of mana thanks to my double dick system giving me double stats. I start haphazardly throwing my balls around. Occasionally the explosions hit a person who wasn't exactly dead, but it's fine. I saw the numbers on the window, I got experience for killing them too.

As I save the day, clearing away the monsters, I gain a couple of levels, thanks to the double experience I get. After I finish, the train is a burning mess, and there aren't many survivors left. But we did it, we made it.

The train finally pulls in to the station. People act a bit rude and start running out, even pushing each other. I guess it makes sense, the train is a bit warm. I walk through what I think used to be the nearest door, and see it.

Everyone being torn apart by monsters. After all that effort I made to avoid hitting most of them, they just run out and get killed. All that experience, wasted.