Clean Machine

I opened our cabinet of cleaning supplies and snapped on some gloves, tied my hair back, and got a spray bottle and rag. I gave Aaron a mop and bucket for the floor, where he could ruin fewer things than on the counter. And I started on the stovetop where most of the burnt smell was coming. I am very sensitive to smoke and things like that, because I have a slight case of asthma.

"Aaron" I gagged "what were you trying to make?"

"Oh, just some sautéed vegetables and pasta, but the oil was too hot and I burned the water."

"Excuse me!? You what?" I was beyond words.

"Hmm yah, I burned the water. The pot's still in the sink, why is that not, like, normal?" He had an amused look on his face.

"No!" I yelled "that's not ok! You can't burn water! That's against the laws of physics!" I dug through the cluttered sink for the pasta pot. "Oh wait, you just over boiled the water and burned the pot. That's normal. Well normal-ish anyway, but how long did you boil this for?"

"Oh, not long, just about half an hour or so on high." He shrugged and smiled teasingly.

"With or without pasta?"

"Without."

"Did you read the instructions?"

"No, but,"

"Ha, no buts, why did you boil water for 30 minutes? Just plain water. What possessed you to do that?" This might make me seem kind of bitchy but I was just really tired and not here for it. The week before he had mad Kraft mac-and-cheese with the plastic still on top. He just stuck the whole thing in the microwave. Straight from the pantry to the microwave no preparation no nothing. We had to get a new one, because that one caught fire. I still have nightmares about flaming microwaves.