Twins

Chapter 29. Twins

NANG malaman ni Nami na aalis ng bansa si Romano higit kalahating taon na ang lumipas ay kaagad na pinuntahan niya ito, pero wala na ito sa Maynila noon, nasa Ilocos Norte kung saan tubo ang pamilya nito. Since she had a tight schedule that time, she didn't have free time until the following week.

Bumiyahe siya pa-Ilocos pero hindi na niya ito naabutan. Hiyang-hiya pa siya dahil hindi naman siya kilala roon. Inakala pang siya si Glaze pero nilinaw niya kung sino siya.

She was offered to stay overnight but she declined, saying that she had a schedule the next day even if she did not have any.

At first month, she could still contact him, until she noticed he started avoiding her.

(Few months ago...)

NAMI was frustrated as hell since Romano wasn't answering her calls. Even her long-distance calls, too. She just got home from a long and tiring day, and now, she couldn't reach him.

"Is it bad if I'm missing him?" she wondered. Because staying with him in San Lorenzo made her realize how she still liked him. Even more than she did before.

Then, she suddenly thought about Glaze. Bigla siyang kinain ng kaniyang konsensiya nang maisip ang tungkol sa dalawa. It hadn't been so long since that incident. Tatlong buwan pa lang ang nakalipas, at alam niyang masakit pa rin ang nangyari kay Romano, pati na rin sa kakambal niya.

Though it's already late night, she still went out to go to her twin's building. May sarili na kasi itong three-storey building kung saan ang una at ikalawang palapag ay balak nitong patayuan ng bar, at sa third floor ito titira.

Halos isang oras lang ay nakarating siya roon, at alam niyang gising pa ito kahit lagpas alas onse na. Late kasi itong natutulog kahit noon pa man.

She called her when she's already in front of the building. May space kasi roon para sa parking-an ng mga sasakyan. After a few rings, she answered.

"Why?"

"Bumaba ka, nasa parking ako."

"Bakit? Gabi na, a?"

"Basta."

"'Kainis ka naman, patulog na ako," reklamo nito.

"Magkakape lang tayo."

"Ano ba iyan, pumanhik ka na lang dito, may kape rito. Tinatamad na akong magbihis."

"Oo na, buksan mo ang pinto."

"Tinatamad akong bumangon. Just get the spare key, it's under the third pot, right side, of the door."

"You're still keeping a spare key outside? Sinabi ko na kasing papalitan mo na ng digital ang lock mo." Imbis na sagutin siya ay nag-bye lang ito at pinatay na ang tawag.

Lumabas siya ng sasakyan para makapasok na roon.

Naabutan niya itong tamad na nakahilata sa sofa bed nito habang may face mask, naka-pajama na rin ito at mukhang patulog na nga.

Somehow, looking at her now, made her heart feel lighter. She's gaining weight again, and her wounds and bruises were healed. But she knew that deep within, she's still wounded. Yet, she's doing way better than she imagine. Truly, life must go om no matter how dark the past had been.

"Akala ko ba, pagod ka? You didn't want to eat outside."

Nagtataray ito ngayon dahil nagdahilan siyang pagod na kaninang magyaya itong kumain sa labas.

"Forget about it. Magtimpla ka na lang ng kape mo kung gusto mo. At bakit ka ba nandito? Shouldn't you be resting if you're tired? Don't you have a schedule tomorrow?"

"I have. At five A.M, we'll be shooting."

"What? Then, why did you still drive here? Umuwi ka na nang makapagpahinga na!"

But she didn't respond. Seryoso siyang umupo sa gilid ng kama at tinitigan ito. Umupo naman ito at sumandal sa headboard.

"Or, you can just sleep here. Kuha ka na lang ng pantulog diyan sa cabinet." Lumambot ang tinig nito.

She sighed. "Aren't you missing Romano?"

Bahagya itong nagulat at nag-iwas ng tingin. "Bakit mo naman nabanggit si Romano? Break na kami."

"Glaze—"

"Why? Are you missing him?" Matapang itong lumingon sa kaniya at siya naman ang nagulat sa tinanong nito. Naiiling na ngumisi ito. "Oh, yes, you do."

She licked her lower lip, her throat suddenly felt dry.

Glaze removed her face mask, put it on the bedside table, and she looked at her seriously. "Wala kaming official closure, pero wala na kami. Malaki ang kasalanan ko sa kaniya kaya naiintindihan ko kung ayaw na niya akong makita kahit kailan."

What should she say?

"And I know you kind of have a crush on him before. Kaya nga iniwasan ko."

She was taken aback by that sudden confession.

"I also knew he had something on you back then. I felt that. Magkababata kami kaya alam ko ang likaw ng bituka niya."

"Bakit mo sinagot, kung ganoon?" Hindi iyon ang tanong niya. Itatanong niya dapat kung may gusto rin ba ito sa lalaki, kung mahal ba nito, pero iyon ang lumabas sa bibig niya.

"Because he made me feel loved. I also thought that we knew each other since we were kids, so, it'd be convenient for both of us if we just hit it off. Then, I realized that maybe I was wrong for thinking he had a thing for you, kaya sinagot ko."

"But... d-do you love him?" lakas-loob niyang tanong. Napayuko siya nang nag-iwas ito ng tingin.

"I don't," she bravely told her.

Umisod ito para huilhin ang isang kamay niya. Nag-angat siya ng tingin at nakita ang ekspresyon nito.

Glaze looked as if she's feeling bad and sad for her. The latter sighed and caught her gazes.

"If you love him though, give him some time. He's still moving on, and it must be hard for him to talk to you..."

"Why would it be? Wouldn't it be easier since we're twins?"

"That's exactly the reason why. We're twins. He may remember me when he's talking to you, or looking at you. He might be still mad at me as well."

Napakurap-kurap siya. "How stupid of me to think that it's better that way?" Napasabunot siya sa sarili kaya nabitiwan siya ng kakambal.

"What do you mean?" litong-tanong naman nito.

She was teary-eyed when she looked back at her. "Akala ko kasi mas madali iyon. Magugustuhan niya ako kasi magkamukha tayo..."

Napamaang ito sa kaniya at naaawang tumingin sa kaniya. "Would you settle for that? Gosh, Kasey, you deserve more than that! You are beautiful, smart talented—I can name a lot! And I'm telling you, you deserve to be loved fully."

Hindi niya namalayang tumulo ang luha niya. "I don't know... I just... I... I'm not you..."

Glaze hugged her and she cried on her arms.

"I'm just glad you don't love him. At least hindi na ako makokonsensiya lagi kapag naiisip ko kayo," she honestly uttered.

"But you deserve more than that," ulit nito pero umiling lang siya.

"I don't care. As long as he'll like me. Kahit kaunti lang. Kahit ikaw ang maisip niya paminsan-minsan, sisiguraduhin kong ako na ang makikita niya sa susunod."

Bumuntong-hininga lang ito at hinaplos-haplos ang likuran niya.

"I think you're right. I have to give him some time to move on... Pero paano kung makahanap siya ng iba?"

"I don't think so," makahulugang saad naman nito sa kaniya.

"Why?"

"He's not the type of person to look for a rebound." Iyon ang nagpagaan sa loob niya. Well, at least, she had a chance, right? Though it's just a little, she still had.