Prologue: My Alarm Clock Exploded

[Author's Note/AN]

[A one-shot attempt at a what-if world where the phantom thieves are gender-bent, and a certain fanboy gained a different mind. Here we go.]

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My alarm clock exploded in my face. Literally.

Yeah, hilarious way to go, I know.

It all started last night.

Last night, I stayed up late listening to how my best friend (and long-time ATLUS fanatic who has a boner on all things Persona) kept rambling on and on about how Rule 63 should apply and how it would bring humanity its promised paradise.

As you may have guessed, I wasn't thrilled. It was not like I hated Persona per se. On the contrary, I was rather fond of the game as a beginner in the series, but God help me with my friends' sheer fanatism or I would have strangled him to death with my own two hands.

In this case, God may have prevented me from committing murder. Or maybe it was the devil, considering how I received my sudden death sentence in the form of an explosion to my fucking face.

What can I say, the world hated me. Well, the joke's on it, 'cause I hated it more.

...Where was I? Oh yes, about the part where I stayed up late listening to a mad guy's ramblings/preachings.

I fell asleep past 2 a.m. in the morning, only to wake up to the accursed jingling of my century-old alarm clock that I've been using since I was a kid. Heaven knows why I still kept it. Nostalgia, perhaps?

My sleep-deprived mind fervently suggested that it was a good idea to end the clock's misery once and for all by smashing it on the head. I did just that.

Maybe it was good old Karma, or maybe my alarm clock was indeed ancient and had mythical powers.

Whatever the case it was, it came back to bite me in the ass. Or in this case, blow up in my face. Pun fully intended by the way.

So, yeah. I hit the clock, and KABOOOM.

Next time I opened my eyes, I was inside Yuuki Mishima, the now 13-year-old pushover.

Yep, not only did I somehow jump onto the Isekai train, but I also somehow managed to hijack a Persona character's body...when he was still a kid.

Did I commit accidental murder/interdimensional identity theft? Yeah, fuck me.

I didn't have any splitting headaches or fevers when I received Mishima's memories, though. Small mercies, I know, but I'll take that.

And here I was, on my way to school like the good little timid kid I currently was. NOT.

I had half a mind just to scream and tear my hair out, or bail my eyes out, whichever came first to my pubescent mind, but I didn't want to get sent to a mental asylum. Like, ever. I had no desire whatsoever to imitate the Joker from DC comics like some edgy teenager.

Just thinking about the pain and sadness I might have caused to my family if I was indeed lying dead back in my world...it was enough to drive me into a state of semi-madness.

"This fucking sucks. This fucking world.", I muttered under my breath. In my defense, I wasn't in the right state of my mind. I didn't expect anyone to answer my mumblings, much less an agreement shot back in a young, female voice.

"Yeah, it does."

I whirled around, not expecting someone that sounded so young to agree with me. Red, blood-red eyes stared into my mediocre black ones. The eyes held a vicious, sadistic tinge of coldness that somehow seemed to clutch my heart and yank it out of my chest.

I gasped, staring back into those despair-filled eyes. The eye contact seemed to last for an entire minute before the girl finally scoffed and turned away.

Somehow, for some god-forsaken reason, her attitude irked me.

Again, as I've mentioned, I wasn't exactly mentally sound at that particular moment. Even so, it was undoubtedly, one of the most brash and stupid moments in my entire life, both as me and Mishima.

I glared at the girl, taking her entire appearance in for the very first time. She was around the same age as me, had short messy brown hair that reached her shoulders, a sharp yet beautiful face, and an athletic figure. However, what caught my eye the most was her attire.

It was old, unclean, and ragged. Her white T-shirt had several stains, while her black skirt was torn at the edges. All in all, she looked...unkept. And poor. Dirt poor.

I clicked my tongue loudly in irritation. That seemed to have caught her attention as she met my glare full-on with a piercing glare of her own.

"What?", she snapped.

"Just 'cause you seem to have...familial issues doesn't mean your life sucks more than mine, you brat.", I spat out.

Yeah, not one of my proudest moments, I agree, even if part of my plan was to enrage her. And catch the bait she did.

With a speed that could have made a high schooler proud, her feet collided with my solar plexus, knocking out all of the air in my lungs. I sunk to my knees as she punched my face again and again.

And boy, did she know how to make a punch hurt.

After plummeting my mediocre face with at least thirty punches and reducing my non-existent charm to zero, she stepped back, gasping for air as she clutched her bloody knuckles.

I spat out a mouthful of blood. At least my teeth didn't get knocked out.

"...Feel better now, edge-lady?"

She blinked slowly as if seeing some alien object for the very first time. Dots connected in her mind as her eyes widened. I chuckled. She was crazy smart for someone my age.

She lifted one arm trembling with exhaustion and pointed it at my battered face.

"You...you...on purpose...provoked me too...violence...are you trying to blackmail me with this!?"

I take my word back, she was a complete idiot.

"What the fuck did you just say!?"

Oh, I said it out loud. Anyway.

"Calm your ass down, princess. If I wanted to blackmail you, I would've done it more thoroughly." I licked my split lips and winced. This was gonna hurt like a bitch for a couple of days.

The girl narrowed her eyes at me in suspicion.

"...Explain."

I raised my eyebrows.

"This fucked-up world sucks less after you beat up a helpless boy your size, am I right?"

She gaped. I scratched my butt. God damn, my entire body hurts. Me and my bleeding heart...

She kept gaping at me like a braindead goldfish.

"Who is a braindead goldfish you sorry excuse of a monkey!"

Oh, I said it out loud again. Something about this girl makes me want to diss her whenever I can...is this love?

"What-what-what-!?"

Oh, she broke. I wonder if she'll come back to her senses if I smack her across the head.

"I'm not an old TV!"

Ah, she's back. I glanced at my watch.

...Fuck. I was late. I sighed deeply and laid back on the ground. No use running now.

"Hey! Don't ignore me...what...what's wrong with you!? Why aren't you angry!? Why didn't you hit back!?"

Aaaaand she's screaming again like a hysteric teen on her period. Sexual harassment? The fuck is that?

"You-you-you-"

Deja Vu it is. I sighed again and sat back up. Kids these days...they don't let you catch a break.

"Look.", I said. "This world is fucked up, and it sucks. We both know this fact, which means we were both fucked by the world at least once. I saw you with dead fish eyes with an 'I'm gonna gut someone' kind of murder look, so naturally, as a good samaritan and the law-abiding citizen I am, I gave you an outlet for your pent-up frustration. You are welcome by the way."

I cracked my stiff neck. My back's gonna ache, I just knew it.

Time for school, I guess. I'll just tell my teacher I was assaulted by a fat dude in his mid-thirties. That'll shut them up nicely.

I was about to leave when the girl called out at my back.

"Wait...your name.", she whispered. Her voice quivered, showing her inner turmoil.

I cleared my throat and paused for dramatic effect. She swallowed nervously. I smirked.

"I am You-Know-Who."

"Oh, fuck you!"

"You wish."

"...AAAAAAaaaaaaarrrrGGGHHHHHHeeeHIIiAAAAAAHHH!"

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Gorou Akechi stomped the ground in frustration as she screamed into the sky in fury.

She couldn't believe that someone so...bizarre was a boy her same age. Most boys either teased or bullied her because of her mother who worked as a hostess in a shady late-night bar, or made fun of her boyish name, or just leered at her in a most undesirable way.

He...however, was different. In intelligence and maturity, he far outscaled all the other boys combined. Well, not maturity, but he sure was bold...and shameless. Yes, he was shameless!

Gorou growled. By all means, she should have been weirded out. Oh hell, she was weired out. But...for some reason...she also felt...warm. And fuzzy.

Like the few times her mother actually showed her affection, rather than neglecting her motherly duties and leaving her to fend for herself on those lonely nights...

Suddenly, her eyes caught something lying on the ground. A small leather book. A student handbook. His handbook...with personal information.

A large smile split across her face as she picked the book up and flipped through the pages.

"Bingo. Yuuki Mishima...I got you."

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I felt a sudden shiver travel through my spine as I waited in the principal's office.

"What the...?"

I instinctively stuffed my hands into my pockets, only to find them surprisingly...spacious. Spacious, as in completely empty. My neurons sparked.

"My handbook."

That was when I knew, I fucked up.