Chapter 5 the heart’s tempo

A week had passed and true to his word Pax avoided being alone with Marcus and was trying to give some space to Corey. While out for his daily run around the track, he spotted Adrianna in the bleachers. She was alone sitting on the bleachers watching Pax run. Pax decided to end his run early and go see her. He jogged up cautiously and said, "Hi."

Adrianna feigned a smile and said hi back.

Pax sat down next to her. "I can't help but notice, you're alone today. Where's Gia and Marcie?"

Adrianna sighed. "It looks like my friends like your friends more than me." She looked at Pax with a bored look. "Gia and Kop are watching some show together about gay samurai's or something and Marcie heard Corey is jamming with some guys at a skate park."

Pax rolled his eyes at the cliché of playing guitar at the skate park. "Wait, let me get this straight. You passed up gay samurais and guitar playing skaters to come and watch me run in a circle?"

They laughed about his over simplification and Adrianna decided to be her most cynical. "Something about watching a man run in circles, not really going anywhere but then deciding he's won." Adrianna leaned her head against Pax's shoulder. "It just sums up the male ego in a nut shell."

Pax scoffed her comment in a chuckle. "Oh my god that is some Dawson's creek level cynical." They laughed some more. "I thought you were in dance not drama." Pax put his arm around Adrianna and gave her a squeeze. "Come on let's grab a smoothie."

Adrianna realized how sweaty Pax was and just said. "How about you shower and change first. Cause you are so gross right now."

"What? You don't like how I smell?" Pax started to rub his torso against her, trying to wrap his arms around her. "I thought you love men with endurance."

Adrianna was laughing and screaming. "Oh my god gross! Get away! Get away!" Adrianna pushed Pax away. "Go get a shower I'll meet you back here."

Pax backed away with his hands in the air and a grin on his face. "Ok, ok. You win." He then ran off to his dorm.

Adrianna sat on the bench to wait, and gave a whiff of shirt to see if Pax's stink got on it. It did, and she kind of liked it. "Stupid boy."

She whispered.

"Who's a stupid boy?" Marcus asked as he rounded the bleachers. "Are you flirting with my new boyfriend?"

Adrianna sighed. "What do you mean new boyfriend?" She looked at her older brother with a scathing look. "You don't do boyfriends or girlfriends."

Marcus feigned surprise. "What? How could my own sister be so cold towards me."

"Marcus, you're my brother and I love you." Adrianna's reeked of disappointment. "But since you came out as pan, you just became a player. I'd be happy if you actually had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but that's."

"I've changed." Marcus stopped his sister mid sentence. "Or at least I want to change." Marcus sat down next to Adrianna. "There's something about him I felt it at the party. It's different." Marcus rubbed the back of his head trying to figure it out. "I don't know how to put it, but he's all I can think about."

Adrianna was a little upset that her older brother was trying to make a move on the boy she's trying to date. "You know what, you are a crappy brother. I supported you when you came out and now you're chasing after the same guy I am."

Marcus knew she wasn't wrong, but he didn't want to give her the satisfaction. "Ok, but just answer 2 questions for me. First does your heart race when you see him?"

Adrianna didn't want to dignify the question. "Of course it does."

Marcus didn't believe her. "2 does his heart race when he sees you?"

Adrianna paused, she assumed so. Why wouldn't it, she was hot and flirty. She was a smokin hot Latina and she owned it. "I don't know. Probably."

Marcus got up off the bleachers. "When he sees me, his heart beats so fast I can hear it. It's like a wild drum solo. I don't think Dave Grohl could keep up with the tempo." Marcus started to walk away and said. "The heart never lies."

Adrianna cursed her brother under her breath as he walked away. "Asshole." She sat and stewed over what he said. It ate away at her, Pax was her man. How dare her brother try to steal her man. She let out a growl of frustration. "Ugh. Stupid selfish asshole."

Back at the boys dormitory, Pax was finishing his shower. He was excited to grab a drink with Adrianna. Despite having studio session across from her he felt bad he never apologized for the incident at the party. So he spent a little extra time scrubbing to make sure he smelled great for his date. As he finished he wrapped his towel around his waist and put on a bath robe, then made his way back to his dorm room. As the door closed and Pax took off his robe to put on a shirt, but he heard the door open again. "Dude, you know I don't like the door being open while I'm getting changed."

The door closed and Marcus asked. "Better?"

Pax recognized the voice and turned around to see Marcus. He was shocked and nervous. His heart began to race. "Marcus what the hell are you doing here?"

Marcus smiled his sensual grin. It was the look of someone undressing you with their eyes. He bit his bottom lip and looked down at Pax's torso in all its scars. "I asked around to find out your dorm number." He stepped towards Pax and put his hand on Pax's chest and felt the x shaped scar over his heart. "I had to see you again." He could feel Pax's heart racing. It made his own heart race.

"Stop it, I don't like people seeing me like this." Pax pushed his hand away and tried use his own arms to hide torso.

Marcus took his shirt off revealing is incredibly muscular body. He then gently grabbed Pax's hand and put it on his chest and held it over his heart. "Do you feel it?" Pax could feel Marcus's heart racing, he nodded yes unable to form any words. Marcus held Pax's other hand over his own heart. "Feel it? My heart is racing as fast as yours." He let go of the hand that was holding Pax's hand against his chest, but Pax didn't take his hand off Marcus's chest. "Our hearts beat to the same tempo." Marcus then pulled Pax in and kissed him passionately.

Emotion and reason were were fading away for Pax as the kiss got more intense. But before he could give into what was happening. Pax pulled himself away. "Stop!" Pax began to breathe heavily his head was feeling dizzy. "You have to stop." Pax pushed him farther away. "Marcus, I have a date with Adrianna! I can't go in a date with her after kissing you."

Marcus reached out to hold Pax's wrists so he could lower his arms and move in closer. "Pax, I love my sister, but this feeling between us is real." Marcus put his hand on Pax's cheek. "Don't deny it." He then ran his free hand down Pax's arm feeling the lines and bumps of his scars. "I've been thinking about you non stop since the party, first I thought you were cute and dorky. Then I saw your scars and all I could think was how much I wanted to hold you."

A tear ran down Pax's face. He had been told he was hideous and disgusting by everyone he knew and finally someone looked at him and thought he was beautiful. Marcus wiped the tear away, and began to kiss Pax once more. Pax wasn't sure what to do, he actually wanted to keep going, but he pushed Marcus away again. "No." Pax wiped away the tears that followed. "Even if that's true, I still want to be a better person to your sister than someone who abandons her to make out with her brother." Pax reached over and grabbed Marcus's shirt and gave it back to him. "Besides, if Corey finds out, he'll report it to the Dean and we might both be removed from the academy." Pax pushed Marcus to towards the door. "You're my mentor, I need you to be a mentor."

Marcus was disappointed this was the turn out of his gesture, and put his shirt back on. "Fine, but I'm not ready to say I quit. I know you like me too and I won't give up."

Pax had never experienced someone being persistant like this. In frustration he blurted out. "Fine, just not at the practice studio. Now get out."

Pax didn't realize he gave the opening Marcus wanted. To celebrate right before leaving the dorm room, Marcus turned around and kissed Pax quickly on the cheek.

Pax pushed him to the door. "What the hell man? Just get out." Marcus opened the door and walked off with a giant grin on his face.

Pax got dressed and headed back to the track field to meet up with Adrianna. When he saw her waiting on the bleacher his heart sank. He knew this was going to be awkward. He strolled over and asked. "Hey, you, ahhh, ready for that smoothie?"

Adrianna was still upset over what her brother had said. She was too big a bad ass to feel like a girl pining for a boy. "What's going on between you and my brother?"

She looked at Pax and cocked an eye brow. "Are you 2 sleeping together?"

Pax was surprised by her question. "Jesus! Why would you ask that?"

"That's not a no." Adrianna stated while crossing her arms.

Pax raised his hands like he was trying to say I come in peace. "It's a no. Trust me, it's a no." Pax sat down next to Adrianna. "You're brother is really aggressive though. It's intimidating."

Adrianna was starting to tear up. "So you guys are dating then?"

Pax wasn't sure how to phrase it. "No, but he's made things difficult. Can I tell you something really embarrassing?"

Adrianna sniffed and shrugged. "Why not."

Pax held her hand. "Until your party, I've never kissed anyone before."

Adrianna did not believe him at all. "I don't believe that."

"It's true!" Pax exclaimed. "Back in my home town everyone picked on me and hated me. They called me rag doll, because I have a bunch of scars on me." Pax pulled back one of his sleeves to expose the scars on just his right forearm. "So I buried myself into playing the fiddle, exercising to get strong and martial arts to fight off any bullies that go to far." Pax sat back and sighed. "I was so widely unpopular I wasn't invited to anything. No girlfriends, no spin the bottle parties. Never been kissed was a great movie and the title of my life story."

Adrianna was surprised by the scars on his arm. "What happened?"

Pax shook his head. "It's kinda still fresh trauma." Pax pulled his sleeve back down and looked around to make sure no one saw. "It also requires exposing a lot more of me, to really understand and I think I removed that much clothing in front of you my heart would explode from being nervous and scared."

Thats when Adrianna could hear it, Pax's heart beating loudly. Just the idea of taking off his shirt in front of Adrianna made Pax's heart race. Adrianna smiled remembering what her brother said. "Wow. I hear it."

Pax was confused. "Hear what?"

Adrianna wiped away the tears welling up in her eyes. "Marcus said when you see him, he can hear your heart racing. I didn't notice it until now, but I can hear your heart beating too."

Pax was feeling really awkward. "Yeah about that. I'm not sure why my heart beats like that for your brother, but I think I have an idea. When I see him it beats so fast I can't breathe, because I keep flashing back to that night at the party. When he kissed me."

Adrianna started to clue in. "He was your first kiss."

Pax nervously leaned forward and grabbed his hair in frustration. "Yeah. I don't think I'm into guys, but every time Insee him I flash back to that moment and I get scared and nervous and my heart races."

Adrianna tried to console him by rubbing his back. "You can't blame yourself for that, your heart. It's kinda cute, I get why Marcus likes you."

Pax shook his head. "I'm sure he's great but he's so aggressive. It's scary." Pax sat up. "Do you know he snuck in my room when I got back from my shower."

Adrianna's heart sank. "You. You were just with my brother?"

Pax recognized that tone, he should not have said that. Someone was about to be in trouble. Worst case scenario both he and Marcus are in trouble, best case just Marcus. "Well, not by choice. He snuck in like a stalker." Pax realized trying to throw Marcus under the bus wouldn't be fair to either of them, they were siblings. "Listen this isn't fair to either of you, Adrianna I like you a lot. Like since I first saw you dancing with your friends I thought you were the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I didn't think I was cool enough to approach you but then you approached me." Adrianna smiled hearing how amazing Pax thought she was. "But having kissed your brother made this weird. I don't want to hurt you, and I DON'T want to be with your brother, but my brain is telling me that kiss ruined every chance I have with you."

Adrianna held his hand. "Well what do you want?"

Pax "how about a friend? I don't have a lot of those."

Adrianna squeezed his hand. "You know what?" She looked around. "I could use a friend too."

Pax got up and pulled Adrianna up too. "Come on, let's go get some smoothies talk some more."

They left to go grab smoothies from the juice bar down the street from the school. They sat and talked over some smoothies just to get to know each other better. It was just over half an hour when Kop and Gia walked in. They were taking a break from watching their Chinese drama. They sat down next to Pax and Adrianna. "Hey, are you guys on a date? Is he your boyfriend now?" Asked Gia.

Pax and Adrianna laughed since they just had a discussion about that. Adrianna spoke first. "We decided to try being friends first."

Kop had a grin on his face when he looked over at Pax. "By the way rumour has it that Marcus was spotted at the dorms today. I wonder why."

Pax, "Great so people know he got into my room."

Gia and Kop shared a squeal of excitement. Gia to say it in her excitement. "I knew it, I've been shipping you and Marcus since the party."

"Gia!" Cried Adrianna. "I thought you were shipping Me and Pax?"

Gia paused to think about how to explain her hidden passion for imagining boys in her school as couples, she decided to just move the focus back to Marcus and Pax. "So did he take you in his big arms and declare his undying love?"

Pax just stared blankly at Gia. "Gia, you're a bad friend and it's not like that."

"So is it animalistic passion?" Gia show case her acting ability and make some suggestive poses to illustrate her fantasies.

Pax just felt awkward trying to answer. "You not far from the truth. Marcus looks at me the way a hungry wolf looks at a sheep in a field. I get scared and nervous and I start to panic."

Gia was left a gasp, mouth open and hungry for more details. She reached with both hands to grabbed Pax's from across the table. "Tell me more."

Pax tried pull his hands away but her grip was too tight. "It's not what you think, it's entirely unwanted. He just comes on too strong and I." Pax paused knowing any details shared would be heard by Adrianna.

Adrianna, however wanted to hear it, but not out of curiosity, but as fodder against her brother. "You what?"

Pax told them what happened in the mensroom and the dorm room. "I'm not use to this kind of attention and it feels like if I give him what he wants I'll get hurt. It's so intense and I nearly get swept up in the intensity and I want to give into it, but I'm scared." Pax finally freed his hands put them up to gesture take this away from me. "I don't want his affection, but he doesn't accept my rejection at all. Then when he was in my room and had me feel his heart beat.

A whimper squeaked out from Gia, making everyone look at her. "I'm fine, but I need more detail."

"Yes!" Adrianna chimed in with so much attitude. "Please. Do tell."

Pax swallowed some of his smoothie, he was afraid of giving too much detail now. "He just said something that didn't make me hate myself."

Kop had a feeling he knew what Pax was talking about. "You were shirtless weren't you?"

Pax just nodded. "He said that when we met at the party he thought I was cute and dorky, but when he saw my scars, he wasn't horrified or grossed out. It was like he liked them."

Gia was in a high pitch squeal mode from her excitement. "Wait scars? Are you like a gay Kenshin?"

Even Kop was starting to get weirded out by her obsession. "Gia no, don't ask."

Gia was insistant. "I need to know!"

Pax pulled back his sleeve again to show off the scars on his fore arm. "Over 60% of my skin is scarred tissue."

Gia's reaction was unexpected. "Oh my god, you're Gene Starwind!"

Pax put his sleeve back down and looked around to make sure no one else saw. "Gia I think you watch too much tv."

"So what's your plan to deal with Marcus?" Asked Kop. "I mean do you want to be his boyfriend or not?"

Pax shook his head, "I'm not gay, and even if I was, it's too big a risk. Not just to me but to you and everyone in our band."

Adrianna was confused. "How so?"

"Marcus is our mentor, if he's not laser focused on our bands improvement and we fail the exams, we're kicked out of the program. If I hurt his feelings he could take it out on us, we fail and get kicked out of the program or worse IF we did become a couple, Corey could never know because if he finds out he'll report us to the Dean, then Marcus and I are kicked out of the program."

"Wait, wait, wait." Gia interrupted. "Why would Corey report that you're fooling around with Marcus?"

"Because of the reasons I listed." Pax replied. "It could interfere with our ability to stay in the program."

Gia shook her head. "No. No. That's not it."

Adrianna was confused now. "What do you mean that's not it?"

"Think about it." Gia started. "Adrianna if I thought you dating Pax would put our ability to stay in the program at risk what would you say?"

Adrianna just perked an eyebrow. "I'd tell you, that I would never let that happen."

"Exactly." Gia exclaimed. "You can have a relationship and not have it risk your ability to stay in the program."

Kop tried to think about this scenario. "Well I kinda see what Gia is saying, but also if we got kicked out of the course due to your boyfriend's inability be truthful about our performance, all because he didn't want to hurt your feelings."

Gia still wasn't convinced. "No, it still doesn't feel right. Maybe it has something to do with what you said before you kissed him at the party."

Shock swept accros Pax's face. "I did what? I kissed Corey?" Pax's heart began to race, his breathing went shallow. "That party was over a week ago. Why didn't someone tell me."

Kop began to rub Pax's back to try and calm him down. "It's ok dude. Corey asked me not to mention it because he didn't want things to be weird between you guys." He continued to rub Pax's back to calm him. "You have nothing to worry about."

Pax started to calm down, but he was now more stressed. "Ok I don't know where to start." Pax started to count out on his hand the list of things he needed to do next. "I need to apologize to Corey for kissing him. I need t yell at him for keeping it a secret. I'll have to apologize for yelling at him. Then I need to find out why I've been kissed by so many boys in the past 2 weeks!"

Gia was so excited by this revelation, she scrambled to grab a pen and scrap paper from her book bag. "Pax, your life has all the tropes of my favourite BL's. Mysterious accident, a love triangle, all that's missing is a shocking back story revelation."

"This has been enough shock for me Gia." Pax said while trying to calm down. "I don't think I could handle something else."

Gia wasn't even paying attention to Pax's response. "Let's see, what am I missing from the picture. Any chance you're related?"

"No Gia." Pax replied. "We're not related. We just grew up together."

Gia began to furiously write things down. "Oh that is a big clue." She grinned. "I'm gonna bust this BL mystery wide open, I can feel it."

Kop got up from the table. "Guys I think, Pax has had enough. I'm going to take him back to the dorm." Kop grabbed one of Pax's arms and helped him get up. "See you guys later." They all waved goodbye and walked out.