SYSTEMATIC DESENSITIZATION

Glancing at the time, it was almost midnight.  Opening her messaging app, her fingers hovered over her friends' list. There wasn't much. Aside from Eunice and Nicolette, there were three other people. 

As she contemplated who to call, she accidentally pressed the video button for a theater actress she met four years ago which turned out, a friend of her friend. 

"Hey! Her highness, what's troubling you?" The woman asked upon answering. 

"How do you know I'm troubled?" Pressing the switch on the wall, lights flooded the room. 

"Midnight. You seldom call unless it's an emergency." the woman paused. "I added the witch."

"It gotta be good for you to disturb me. I just went to bed." Came an angry snarl from a short-haired woman across the screen. 

"The witch is in a terrible mood today but you should ignore her. So tell us, what troubles hath come your way, my dear princess? Tell this prince." The actress spoke theatrically. 

Smiling, Luo Jingyi left her bedroom and went to the kitchen. "Someone said he likes me."

"Who would even like someone like you? It's either you're delusional or he must be an alien!"

"Don't be such a bummer, Alexa. Admit that you are just jealous because your love life is stale. The theater actress scolded. 

"Me? Jealous? Gosh." Her laughter vibrated to them even if the other woman was miles away.

Luo Jingyi listened while she heated milk.

"If I were you. I'll like him back. End of story. Curtains down. The writer could relax." 

"Only players like you would think that way." After saying that, Alexa directed the question to Luo Jingyi. She suddenly became serious. "How do you feel about this?" 

Luo Jingyi let out a long sigh. "Confused.

"Give me ten minutes." The theater actress begged someone in the room and they saw on the screen a man's back on his birthday suit, opening the door and going out. 

"Gosh, did Luo Jingyi just interrupt something very important?"

The actress tied her black curls into a bun before she defended herself, "Just because my fiancé broke up with me doesn't mean I don't get to enjoy the pleasures of life."

"Why don't we start from the beginning?" She prodded, very much interested in Luo Jingyi's love life. 

When Luo Jingyi told them she got a fiancé, the actress squealed. "Fiancé? Good gracious. The gods must have listened to my prayers!"

"Stop roaring! You're going to ruin my eardrums. Getting a fiancé is not a big deal. For all we know, she has a fake relationship to deal with Aunt Alice."

Luo Jingyi was silent. Alexa was on point as always. She was after all Aunt Alice's niece. Luo Jingyi heard the actress asked, "No more panic attacks?" 

"Hey, are you writing a romance novel? You should call it – I – have – a – panic – disorder – I – fell – in – love – and – the – man – cured – me. That only happens in books." 

"That's awfully long to be a title of a book." The actress retorted crisply., "And will you get serious? This is about her being engaged. She made a vow not to be involved with any man. I won't be surprised if she died of old age."

Luo Jingyi winced, hearing that. 

"But getting engaged was too fast, don't you think?"

"Aunt Alice had to be placated. You know how she was. Maybe next time she will send me directly to the Civil Affairs Bureau." Luo Jingyi explained. 

"So what if Aunt Alice kept matchmaking you? Go to the blind date. Drink tea and talk. Then say goodbye. Seriously Luo Jingyi, aunt is the easiest person to deal with." Alexa said. Alexa was the daughter of Uncle Antoine's brother. 

"But my situation is different." Luo Jingyi defended her decision. It was not as easy as that. 

"Fine. Let's drop that issue." Alexa paused, glancing over her shoulders to check something. "There's an easier route to your panic attack. Get married and sleep together. Expose yourself to his touch. Be done and over with it.  There's a term for that in psychology." 

"Systematic desensitization.1" Luo Jingyi replied. 

 Luo Jingyi had been trying that. Today, she held his hand twice to test herself. Her pulse still raced but it wasn't as severe as before. Maybe because she tried tricking her brain by not focusing on the fear.

The actress leaned forward and with a serious tone, she advised, "For once, try accepting other people in your life too girl. Not all men are the same. I'd been cheated thrice but here I am, moving on." 

Alexa laughed. "The reason why you jump from one relationship to another is that you can hardly keep your hormones in place that's why. Don't use that lame excuse to Luo Jingyi. She's different from you." 

Listening to the banter between the two, Luo Jingyi wondered how the two became close when they were throwing nasty remarks every time. 

Alexa's screen went black but they heard the drawers being yanked open and her hurried voice, "If you want my advice, it's very simple. Listen to what your heart tells you. If it says no, then refuse the guy."

"What if it's the opposite?"

"Then, go and have a blast. Love and live your life happily. There's no point in hanging on to the pains of the past. It already happened."

"Why does it sound so simple to you?" 

"Life is tough. Why should I make it harder? Go and paint rainbows in the sky." Alexa paused, "But don't send me your wedding invitation."

Then Alexa was gone. 

"And she didn't even say goodbye." The other woman who was silent complained. "Alexa is right. If we dwell too much on what happened, it could destroy us."

Luo Jingyi and her theater actress friend exchanged a few more words before the other woman bid goodbye. 

As Luo Jingyi set her phone on the kitchen island, a curve slowly rose on her lips. Whatever she was feeling earlier, it vanished. She made a decision.

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SYSTEMATIC DESENSITIZATION - is a behavioral technique used in treating fear, anxiety disorders and phobias. The three steps in order are: identifying the anxiety-inducing stimulus (the cause); learning coping techniques; applying techniques to overcome the situation. 

It was based on Ivan Pavlov's classical conditioning theory.