Chapter 7

"Again." I ordered once again. I see her frail body rise once again, blood dripping from her split lips, along with her, so does my incredulity.

Grasping my blunt wooden blade, I waited for her to strike first, before channeling my hatred in a flurry of blows knowing she couldn't react. A sickening crunch sounded out throughout the room, it was a mistake, a moment where my emotions overwhelmed me, and a sliver of disgust wormed its way into my heart.

Revulsion towards myself.

But a rush of ecstasy overcame it, burying any sort of empathy, giving me boundless joy, the only kind I get since the destruction of my being.

"Healing." I chanted, casting a second tier spell upon the girl, whose hand I had shattered. I looked into her heterochromic eyes as I was about to command her to stand, and my elation was extinguished as a surge of fear took over.

Gazing into her eyes, liquid pools mirroring my emotion. Staring into her eyes, they seemed to flash with malevolence, her face replaced with evil in my mind's eye.

Appeared to bear semblance to a fiendish monster that still haunts me every waking moment.

I turned to leave abruptly, carefully measuring my steps so as to not show any weakness, feeling her gaze burrow into, making me suppress a shiver of terror.

Closing the door behind me, I marched towards my room, trying to remember how to breathe, pushing the sight of her appearance to the back of my mind. Her coldness chilling me to the core, reminding me of the corruption of the underworld.

 Regularizing my breathing, no longer feeling my heart pounding in my ears. I arrived at my living quarters, I see an old comrade standing by the door, an older man with brown hair and beard sparsely covered with gray locks. 

Crais Dium Ignalvus, a retired member of the Black Scripture, and the current Cardinal of Fire.

"What do you want? Coming here to lecture me?" I glared at him, a cacophony of emotions welling up inside me at the mere thought, contrary to my expectation, he just smiled at me, a smile tinged with sadness.

"You know what you've been doing, don't you? Us Cardinals have let you handle raising your child however you see fit. Merely because of who you are.

Your hatred will consume everything you know. You will drive her into the same hell you know so well." Crais paused a bit then looked away as he continued.

"However, I'm in no position to judge you, you have done too much for our country for me to lecture you. Anyways, I'm just here to see how you are." He explained to me, trying to appease me.

But all this instilled within me was a mixed twister of feelings, drowning me in sorrow. I pushed past him, heading into my chambers.

In the end, Crais doesn't understand, none of them do. The potential that girl has for evil.

So, life moves on.

Time is undefeated, as everyone one day learns. Eyes grow colder, hatred burns hotter, people change, connections lost, and as I gazed into her frigid pupils, an inexplicably nostalgic dread grasped my heart, filling my veins with liquid fire, flames of resentment. 

Perhaps in another life, she could have been so far removed from him, could have just been an innocent child. 

In a different time, a different place, she could have had warm eyes.

And yet my animosity overpowered a fundamental fear buried deep within me, an all too familiar terror, something I've been living with since the devastation of my self worth.

Since I gave birth to her, from the second I was too weak to protect myself.

It's time to take responsibility, for me to dig out these roots that have burrowed into me.

Kill her.

My Monster.