26. Chapter 26

Previously...

Mrs. Gardiner, Elizabeth, and the Gardiner children visit the Darcys. Along with Richard, Darcy and Georgiana's cousin, they all walk to Hyde Park. Elizabeth and Darcy struggle to find comfortable conversation and are just finding their rhythm when the younger of Elizabeth's female cousins, Isabella, falls and injures herself. Elizabeth rushes to her cousin, unconcerned in the moment with propriety, although she is mortified at her behaviour afterwards. Darcy, however, is struck by this selfless and compassionate display and rather than finding fault, is enamoured further; he determines he must make Elizabeth his wife.

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XXVI.

Being the eve of Christmas, the day following the eventful walk through Hyde Park was not a day for socialising. In fact, despite Darcy's newly formed determination, it was several days before the Gardiner and Darcy households were to enjoy their shared company again. The preparations for Christmas and the many duties and responsibilities surrounding the holiday kept the servants busy, lending an additional tension to the atmosphere and further straining Darcy's nerves. Growing up, Darcy had enjoyed the decorations throughout Pemberley, even occasionally being allowed to help hang the boughs of greenery in the smaller parlours. Beyond this, his parents – always generous – would give nearly all the servants Boxing Day* through the eve of the new year off, along with their year-end gifts, and Darcy loved the days where he could run free on his own through the many rooms, halls, and stairwells of Pemberley. As he grew older and eventually became the master of the estate, Darcy continued his parents' tradition. Solitude had never been uncomfortable for him – the opposite, in fact – and the time to reflect on the previous and upcoming years was welcome. Now, though, he seemed to find the entire process tedious and grating. There was no work to be done, no calls to make, and few adequate diversions to be found. He could not even seek solace with Georgiana as she was engaged preparing the gifts that were to be given to the servants and others who may come calling on Boxing Day. He found himself repeatedly and unsuccessfully trying to read, a diversion he had always enjoyed, but this unfailingly brought his thoughts to Miss Elizabeth Bennet. His one true pleasure in this time came on Christmas Day when he was able to present Georgiana with her new pianoforte. Her smiles and evident glee lifted his spirits for the remainder of the evening, as he enjoyed her playing.

On the third day of Christmastide, the Darcy siblings had agreed to spend the day with their relatives as they had elected to enjoy Christmas day at home despite their standing invitation to their aunt and uncle's home. Neither was particularly enthusiastic about this commitment, but there was nought to be done. Darcy suffered Richard's incessant ribbing whenever they were alone or out of earshot of the rest of the family, but he was secretly pleased by Richard's teasing. He knew that if his cousin truly thought Miss Bennet unsuitable, he would not be so cavalier. Darcy could only hope that Richard's seeming acceptance of the lady was an indication of what he may expect from the others in his family and perhaps even social circle at large. He was somewhat surprised to discover within himself that he ultimately was unconcerned if others stood in opposition to his chosen bride, even his family.

Certainly it would make matters less pleasant, he thought as he looked around his aunt and uncle's sitting room after a rich supper, but I cannot countenance giving weight to any opinion in this matter above my own. Then as an afterthought, Except perhaps Georgiana. Looking at his sister who, once again, appeared quiet and uncomfortable with her female cousins, Darcy marvelled at the difference in her when she was with Elizabeth. I cannot fathom Georgiana would not welcome Miss Bennet as a sister. After all, did she not encourage my affections for that lady?

At that moment, Georgiana felt the weight of her brother's stare and looked up to see his mooncalf expression; she knew he must be thinking of Miss Bennet. She smiled at him and Darcy felt certain that somehow she knew and approved of his intentions.

Unfortunately, talk soon turned to the Twelfth Night* celebrations. As Darcy had never been one to enjoy raucous, anonymous parties where debauchery was considered not only acceptable, but expected, he did not care for Twelfth Night in the least. Of course, his cousins, male and female alike, all seemed to differ with his assessment of this event. Indeed, Darcy might well have been the only unattached gentleman in London not inclined to such an activity. He contributed little to the conversation and allowed his thoughts to wander until his attention snapped back to Richard, who was stating his intention to invite their newest acquaintance, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, to the Farnsworths' ball. He sent Darcy a small wink when he noticed his gaze and then went on to describe for the rest of the family – apart from his father, the Earl, who was already snoring in his favourite armchair by the fire – how spirited and lovely was Miss Bennet.

"Although," Richard went on, "it is quite a shame her family does not have much money. I expect her dowry is rather small. Pity I am not the eldest son! Still, she would be a delightful addition to our party and she does not have many friends in Town. What do you think, Darce?"

Darcy was confused and suspicious of Richard's motivations. Was this an attempt to goad him? Or perhaps a way to introduce Miss Bennet to the family? Darcy could not be sure of Richard's intentions, so he gave a non-committal response. "I am not certain of the lady's plans."

"Well then, perhaps you should ask her. I am sure no lady could refuse Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, Master of Pemberley Estate."

Darcy was particularly uncomfortable now; it was possible Richard was teasing him, but it was also possible he was attempting to force a declaration. Darcy did not care for such a game and so offered only, "I would wonder what impression that may give to invite a lady to such an event, particularly when my sister will not be in attendance."

"Ah well," Richard smirked, "perhaps I will invite her in that case. Certainly my reputation could not be sullied by such a request."

Richard enjoyed the subtle indications of Darcy's anger: fists tightened briefly, his brow was raised and then lowered quickly, and a frown appeared before Darcy righted his expression almost instantly. Yes, Richard thought with satisfaction, much as I expected.

Helena inquired, "Richard, you have not set your sights on this Miss Bennet, I hope?"

Richard laughed and gave a rakish grin, "No no, just a bit of fun. She would not expect any sort of interest from this quarter, but we would have a good laugh and I expect she would be an excellent dance partner."

Darcy was now grinding his teeth, but felt he could not reply without exposing himself. He was thankful when his cousin Eleanor turned the topic elsewhere and even more grateful when the hour was late enough to justify his and Georgiana's departure for the night.

ooOoo

The next few days dragged on for Darcy. He had intended to call on Elizabeth at her relatives' home the following day, but woke to see terrible rain and fog. With his staff largely on holiday – how he regretted his parents' generous tradition in that moment! – he could not expect to safely make such a visit, nor could he and Georgiana hope to entertain guests. Resentfully, he joined his sister for breakfast and then found barely tolerable diversions with which to pass the day. Georgiana noticed his foul mood, but wisely chose not to comment. Instead, she busied herself with the beautiful new pianoforte he had gifted her for Christmas.

The following morning, he was relieved to see small amounts of slush along the walkways, but little fog and no apparent ice. He was cheerful as he strode downstairs to breakfast. Georgiana entered the breakfast room only a few minutes later.

"Good morning, Brother."

"Good morning, Georgiana. Did you sleep well?"

"Thank you, yes. And yourself?"

"Very well. And I am pleased to see you up and about so early."

"Is it early? I had not realised. With the gloomy weather yesterday, I must have retired early and so now I am up. Did you have plans for the day?"

"As a matter of fact, I had wondered if you might like to visit the Gardiner Residence?"

Georgiana did not hide her smile. "Very much! I feel as though it has been ages since we have seen them. I hope that both Miss Bennet and Miss Isabella have recovered from Miss Isabella's fall and becoming so wet. With this weather, it would not do to become ill."

Darcy frowned in concern; he had not thought of this possibility, but now felt incredibly foolish for not having considered it. What if Miss Bennet were to take ill? Surely her aunt would ensure she had a competent physician? Heavens, what if she were to have pneumonia! The weather has been dreadfully cold and I do not know if she has proper insulation in her uncle's house! Should I ought to have sent someone to check on her?

Georgiana became concerned at her brother's increasingly concerned expression, so she added, "Fitz, I am sure they are well. There is no need for concern; I spoke quite without thinking."

Darcy swallowed hard before taking a gulp of tea. "Of course, I was only thinking... But no cause for concern I am sure. You know how I can be over-protective of –" he stopped short, only offering a small smile and nod.

Georgiana knew the rest: of those I care for. She felt slightly better with his implied admission, but determined nonetheless to be ready as soon as possible to depart for their call.

ooOoo

Only two hours later, and rather early for a morning call, the Darcy siblings set off. They arrived at the Gardiner Residence a little after eleven o'clock in the morning. Had Darcy not been so eager to see his beloved, he would have been quite mortified at the hour. But the man servant who opened the door gave no indication of surprise or impropriety and graciously greeted the Darcys before leaving to announce them to the family.

When they entered the morning room, Darcy felt a great weight lift as he was able to observe with his own eyes that Miss Elizabeth was well. He remembered to observe the necessities of greetings before moving directly to the lady in question, while his sister sat with their hostess.

Darcy felt anxious and agitated, but also warm and excited to be so near to his love after waiting nearly a week. "Miss Bennet, I am pleased to see you are well and have had no lasting ill effects from your rescue of Miss Isabella."

Elizabeth blushed at his reference to her improper behaviour at their last meeting, but she had no recourse and so offered, "Thank you, sir."

"I hope that Miss Isabella is also recovered?" He glanced to the young lady, but as she was sitting and playing with her siblings, it was not possible to make a judgement.

"Yes, thank you. We appreciated your gallant assistance and generous hospitality."

"It was my honour, I assure you."

He had smiled at the last statement and Elizabeth was unsure how to respond. It did not seem he had any lasting negative impressions from the event, but perhaps he had already expected as much from her behaviour and so was unsurprised.

Nevertheless, she inquired, "May I ask if you and Miss Darcy enjoyed your Christmas celebrations?"

Darcy thought briefly of how agitated he had felt on Christmas day with missing Miss Bennet, his parents, and, for the first time in several years, wishing to be spending the holiday at Pemberley. He brushed those thoughts aside and dutifully answered, "Certainly. I am always glad to spend time with Georgiana. Although I must admit to some wistfulness for Pemberley; it has been quite a few years since we spent the winter in Derbyshire."

Elizabeth's smile was warmer and more natural as she replied, "I can understand that. I am most grateful for the hospitality of my aunt and uncle, but I do find myself missing my family at Longbourn at times. Still, I will see them soon, I suppose."

Darcy's smile was gone. "Are you scheduled to return soon then?"

Elizabeth looked down at the intensity in Mr. Darcy's eyes; she did not know what to make of it! "Yes, I am afraid I am returning tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Darcy had barely let Miss Bennet finish the word before his disbelief burst forth.

Now Elizabeth looked up with a hardness about her eyes; Defensive? Darcy wondered.

"Yes, tomorrow. As I am sure you are aware, my sister Jane's wedding to your friend is only two weeks away. My mother has written to request some additional items from London and to beg my return to assist in the final preparations. Of course Jane would not wish to impose, but I must imagine she will want me there as well. And I do not want to be away from her any longer. After all, soon she will be married and so I will not see her as often."

At this, Darcy noticed a softening on Miss Elizabeth's features and some slight moisture in her eyes. He became concerned at this; Surely with her sister comfortably settled so close she cannot be unhappy? If she is this upset by her sister's move to the next estate, how shall she judge Derbyshire?

He voiced only the first of his thoughts: "But she will be comfortably settled in the estate immediately next to your family's home. Surely this will ensure you will continue to spend a great deal of time together? I am quite confident that Bingley will want whatever makes his bride happy."

Elizabeth shook her head slightly, "Of course you are quite right. I am being silly. It is only that –" she paused, working out her words and pushing thoughts of her earlier conversation with her aunt out, "there is a divide between married and unmarried ladies. Jane and I always shared everything with one another, but after this, she shall transfer her first loyalty to her new husband, as it should be, of course. I am only a little melancholy over this change for us as sisters, but moreso happy for dear Jane and Mr. Bingley too. I am quite confident they will be as happy as anyone can be."

Her bright smile did not fool Mr. Darcy, as her eyes still held tears. He simply nodded and offered, "Of course."

Elizabeth realised suddenly that this may be her last time seeing Mr. Darcy except possibly the wedding and opened her mouth to inquire as to his plans when Miss Darcy and Aunt Gardiner joined their conversation.

"Miss Bennet, I have just learned from your aunt that today is your last day in London." Georgiana's tone conveyed her disappointment.

Elizabeth confirmed, "Indeed, it is. I must return home to assist with the preparations for the wedding."

"Ah, of course. I do understand. But I must admit," Georgiana's eyes were cast downward, "I will greatly miss your presence here."

"And I will miss yours as well!" Lizzy offered, more tears in her eyes as she felt the panic beginning to rise. Surely Miss Darcy would have mentioned if they were to be attending the wedding?

She risked, "If you are ever in Hertfordshire, you will call on me, will you not?"

Georgiana looked up happily, "Of course! And if you are in Derbyshire, will you visit me at Pemberley? Oh! In fact," she turned to her brother, "Fitzwilliam, might we plan for Miss Bennet to visit us in the Spring?"

Darcy had rather hoped to be married to Miss Bennet in the Spring, but he certainly could not offer that in reply. He ran his hand over the back of his neck unconsciously. His delay and clear discomfort stung Elizabeth, but she rallied and reminded herself that he was not interested in her beyond an occasional conversation, so his reluctance to invite her as a houseguest was quite reasonable. She was, after all, not from the same circles and surely he would prefer more suitable friends for Miss Darcy when she came out.

Just as Darcy was about to speak, Elizabeth replied, "Please do not trouble yourself on my account! As it happens, I will be visiting the Lake District with my aunt and uncle in the Summer. Perhaps, Aunt, we might visit Miss Darcy on our way?"

Aunt Gardiner, who had been sharply observing the interactions, had noticed that Mr. Darcy had been about to respond before her niece spoke, but there was nothing for it. "I will speak with Mr. Gardiner, but I am sure we can go through Derbyshire, as long as it is a convenient time for Mr. and Miss Darcy."

Georgiana was dissatisfied at the lack of promise for an extended stay, but graciously agreed, "That will be lovely."

Darcy nodded, feeling slow-witted by his love-addled brain.

At this, the conversation moved to Georgiana's new pianoforte and her profuse praise of her brother. Darcy was uncomfortable with being spoken of in this way and so moved to join the children for what he had planned to be a short while. However, he soon became engaged telling the story of one of the more exciting fencing duels at Angelo's* to an enraptured James and moderate interest from the other three. Darcy's story became more animated as he observed James' excitement and fascination. Soon, Darcy was nearly play-acting each of the various lunges and parries.

His animation drew the attention of Elizabeth, Georgiana, and Aunt Margaret.

Georgiana whispered to the other ladies that he had told her stories in this way as well when she was a child. Aunt Gardiner smiled fondly at that, but Elizabeth felt a pang in her chest. This was a side of Mr. Darcy she had only seen in brief glimpses the day of their walk in Hyde Park. Seeing him so relaxed and playful with her cousin was beautifully captivating.

He will make a wonderful father, she thought. And then, unbidden, she imagined him walking down Piccadilly Street in London with a lovely and proper wife and several well-mannered children. She could see how he would smile softly at his wife or children as they crossed from their townhouse on a walk about Town. She was certain for reasons she could not fully identify that he would be a most attentive husband. The thought hurt more than it ought to have for she knew that she could never be a suitable choice – I am far too impulsive and have too little care for the fineries ladies of Mr. Darcy's station possess. This thought spurred images of herself older and alone; or worse, forced to marry someone offensive like Mr. Collins. She nearly shuddered at that fate. Perhaps, she reasoned, I may care for Jane's children? I think that would not be so bad. If I cannot marry for love, I shall simply not marry. She refused to dignify the implication that she loved Mr. Darcy, but her immense sadness at the horrible space she felt between her station and Mr. Darcy's seemed to only be growing. She spoke to the other two ladies in order to change the subject and distract herself from her morose thoughts.

All too soon for Darcy's liking, the appropriate amount of time for their visit had passed. He had not been able to speak with Elizabeth alone at all. What was more, she would be leaving the next day! But he could see no polite way to justify his and Georgiana's presence any longer. As he was leaving, James reminded him of his promise to take him to visit Angelo's; both Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner immediately attempted to intercede, but Darcy waved the ladies off and agreed that he should be delighted to fulfil his promise shortly after the new year as he had no plans to fence before then. This satisfied James – after he counted the days on his fingers until New Year's Day – and earned smiles and thanks from both ladies.

Darcy and Georgiana both wished Miss Bennet a safe journey home and Georgiana reminded Elizabeth of her desire that Miss Bennet should write to her. Darcy was pleased to hear that Miss Bennet had agreed to the correspondence, as this would provide some small measure by which to keep her presence with him. Strangely though, when he bowed his adieu to her, he was nearly certain she seemed sad about something. He indulged that it might be for his departure, but then he remembered her wistfulness about her sister and felt foolish for his wishful thinking.

Elizabeth could not help but watch through the curtains with the children as the Darcys' carriage wheeled away. She diligently repeated to herself that out of his presence she would be able to properly quash her inappropriate feelings. She ignored the pain in her heart at this thought and ruthlessly forced her mind to focus on packing, her trip, the wedding – anything but Mr. Darcy.

ooOoo

On the ride home, James was positively vibrating with the excitement from his visit to Angelo's School of Fencing. Neither Darcy nor Richard could suppress their grins at the young lad's enthusiasm.

"And then when the other man, the Duke, jumped forward? I thought he was going to stab right through the first one! How did the man move so quickly?" James did not even pause for an answer as he continued, still enthralled by the match. "But he did! If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed it! He beat a Duke! And did you see –"

He stopped when Richard pointed out, "Well, certainly, but he's an Earl, so it is not such a stretch for him to best a Duke."

This prompted James' eyes to widen as he exclaimed, "I saw a Duke and an Earl?! Wait until I tell my brother and sisters!"

Darcy felt it necessary to intervene, as he did not wish to encourage boastful speech and feared Mrs. Gardiner would hold him responsible for failing to curb such a thing. "Now James, I am gratified that you enjoyed the visit to Angelo's, but a gentleman does not boast, even to his siblings. What is more, it is not done to announce one's private business all around. Proper gentlemen and ladies are circumspect about what information they share with others. It is always wise to consider the impact it may have. In this case, you might consider if it would make your siblings feel jealous or resentful."

He was feeling pleased with this gentle correction and just forming the thought that perhaps word of his excellent guidance might reach Miss Bennet – since it seemed every thought and action inevitably became connected to that lady – when James' reply caused all thoughts in his mind to cease abruptly: "Oh, now I suppose I understand what Mama and Lizzy were saying about her proposal."

Neither Darcy nor Richard showed any continued signs of joviality; their smiles disappeared and they glanced quickly to one another before Richard inquired, "Sorry, did you say 'proposal'?"

James flushed and looked down, clearly feeling guilty. "Oh, erm, I suppose I ought not have said anything."

Darcy spoke through nearly gritted teeth, but attempted to make his voice unaffected, "You are right, James, that the nature of such things is often private, but in this case, I think it should be acceptable to tell Richard and me. We are friends of your cousin and your mother, after all, and we will not repeat whatever you may tell us."

James took a relieved breath and both Darcy and Richard followed suit. "That's good then," James said. "Mr. Darcy, may I ask you a question?"

Darcy was desperate for more information, but summoned his patience. "Of course, James. Is it in regards to Miss Bennet's proposal?"

Richard smirked slightly at the hope in his cousin's voice.

"Yes," replied James. "I do not understand why one should wish to keep an engagement a secret?"

"Who is engaged?" Richard asked, rather sharply.

James seemed surprised by his tone but answered with a shrug, "Lizzy, of course. She was telling Mama that her cousin proposed to her – a different cousin, not me or Henry," he explained unnecessarily to the gentlemen, "and she was upset because her mama, my Auntie Fanny, told everyone about it. But I didn't understand why that should make her angry, but maybe it's like you said? She wanted to be cir- cir- She was thinking about other people's feelings."

Darcy felt a glimmer of hope. After all, a proposal is not a guarantee she would have accepted. And she absolutely loathed that cousin – what was his name, Colbert? Crawford? And anyway, I am quite sure her mother would twitter to every other lady of the area about a proposal, even if no marriage were forthcoming.

"James," he asked, "are you sure that your cousin accepted the gentleman's proposal? It does happen that a man may make an offer and the lady may refuse." The idea of his Elizabeth accepting such an inferior man's proposal was nearly unfathomable.

James was quick to dash his confidence: "Yes, sir, I am quite sure. Lizzy said her response was 'private,' but her mother had 'let it be known she accepted his proposal.'" He said this last part with the air of one quoting another directly. "And she said she did not want to take attention from Jane. So is that why Lizzy was upset? Because she is a lady and ladies do not boast?"

Darcy could not speak; he was horrified by the possibility this boy was correct and his Elizabeth – well, of course not mine per se, but nearly! – might already be promised to another man.

Richard replied in his stead, "That is possible." It was intentionally vague as Richard intended to dig for further information as soon as he could find a reliable source.

Darcy was quiet for the remainder of the ride back to Gracechurch Street.

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* Boxing Day – For those of us who do not have this holiday, it is the day after Christmas. Its name is due to the tradition of filling alms-boxes in church, but during the Regency era, upper classes would give gifts boxes to those of the lower classes, such as servants and tradesmen, or any who were in need. It was customary on Boxing Day to go door-to-door to receive the boxes, which included money, old clothes, or other items.

* Twelfth Night – This references the final night of the Twelve Days of Christmas. This was typically about January 5th and, as mentioned above, was usually an evening of very large and rowdy celebrations that could include masks, balls, games, and costumes. In fact, this celebration was outlawed in the 1870's due to the levels of drunken debauchery that many reached.

* Angelo's School of Fencing – I've referenced this in a previous chapter as well, but Angelo's was the premiere fencing club in London at this time. Those of higher classes would almost certainly fence here.

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A/N:

I have a million reasons, but I won't make excuses for the painfully long delay. I can only offer my incredibly deep and heartfelt appreciation for your patience! Thank you so very much for continuing to read and support this story! Your reviews, follows, and favorites mean the world to me and knowing you're waiting for an update gives me that extra push to keep writing!

Thank you!