seems no way out

To show that I was serious, I took Jialin to see my master, Dashang. The door of Dashang's dormitory was left open. I knocked on the door while shouting, "Dashang, I have an adorable guest for you," but I stopped myself as I saw Dashang sitting on the ground crying, with his back against the bed, an empty bowl at his feet, and his sketches scattered all over the floor.

After Jialin's questioning, we learned that Dashang accidentally finished this month's meal ticket and was starving. Jialin felt so sad for him and also burst into tears. She patted Dashang on the shoulder, crying and laughing, "You are silly. Our girls won't finish our monthly meal tickets. Just say one word to us, and we'll give you some. Let's go to my place. I will cook noodles for you. I brought them back from my visit home." Jialin and Dashang left first. I picked up the drawings on the ground, sorted them out, and put them on the table. I hoped these works could be something for food, then he would not starve.

Back at Jialin's place, she said to Donna and me, "You two may have a share too, but you have to go home and steal some seasonings." I stole a few eggs from my mother, and Donna picked some cabbage and green onions from her mother's small vegetable garden. That night, we all had a noodle feast. After the meal, Dashang was in a much better mood. It was one meal that could suffocate a hero. He praised my progress in sketching and saw that I had the talent to hold a paintbrush. One day, if his father could teach me a little, I would be something like a painter, according to Dashang.

I said humbly: "It was not my skill, all because Donna was beautiful. " We all laughed, especially Donna, who was grinning from ear to ear and looked very delighted.

Soon, I found out that Jialin and Dashang were in love. She was often not in her dormitory, and it was not easy for me to get hold of her.

***

As in previous years, our battalion recommended a worker-peasant-soldier student to go to university.

She was the propaganda officer of the battalion headquarters, with a tall figure and a lovely face. It could be seen that all the Zhiqing were very envious of her. There were many outstanding young people, but there was a one-in-a-thousand chance she would be chosen, but Jialin didn't miss anything. The selection process was a mystery, and it couldn't help but give people room for imagination and opportunities to whisper. It was rumored that she had an affair with the Commissioner. To some extent, different versions were spread. People didn't necessarily believe it. They just took it as a joke to fill the boring time. The people in the logging unit were the most creative. When I went to play with them, I heard the part-time worker Ahua say, "I'm afraid their decimal points were aligned."

I started to worry about my future. I thought that the road to college would not be smooth. No matter how hard I worked, I was afraid that it would be challenging to get the endorsement of the Commissioner. I knew that he and my father were not on the same front.

On the day that the propaganda officer left, the liquor in the canteen of the battalion was emptied. Dagui picked up the empty bottles, and piled them up with glasses, rice bowls, and washbasins; he tapped them with an iron spoon to bring out some rhythm. Siyan and the others stretched their drunken voices, followed the beat, and sang the group songs of The Waves of Honghu Lake in the middle of the night:

Mother, after my death

You will bury your child by the road

Turn the grave to the east

They were singing until they could not do it anymore. Homesickness and melancholy pervaded the Zhiqing. My thoughts seemed to follow the back of the propaganda officer too, and I felt more and more calling from afar.

While I was worried about the future, the camp received an army draft notice that any youth between seventeen and nineteen could sign up. Only I and the Commissioner's son, Hai, were eligible in the whole camp, and we both signed up. Donna heard about the draft and came to see the registry officer, saying that she would also sign up. The officer replied, "No, you are not seventeen years old yet." My father passed by and reminded the officer: "Female soldiers are recruited at different ages. Please check with the regiment's office." After verification, sixteen-year-old Donna was qualified to sign up.

The three of us came to the regiment hospital for a physical examination. We met dozens of young people of our age. After a small chat with each other, we became friends. Many of our parents knew each other. Everyone here thought they would be good soldiers, but our regiment only had a quota of eight recruits, which seemed to be a bit competitive.

For some reason, I was the last to get a checkup. I finished the medical examination and just walked out of the room. The army recruiter stopped me at the door and asked me to wait for a while. He went in and said something to the doctor, probably about my medical results. Then, he came out, took me to his office, and told me, "Young man, I like you. You are the only high school graduate. My division wants you." I replied excitedly, "I won't let you down!" He told me to keep it quiet and go back and wait for the notice.

While I was happy, I thought of Donna and hoped she would go with me and that we might have a military romance together.

But a week later, only Hai received the notice of enlistment. His parents were elated and ready for him. Donna and I were not considered. It seemed that we were bound to be here, and there might be some arrangements by fate without giving any hints.

I asked my father if he had any inside information, and he just said that the places were limited and didn't give any further explanation. I went to the Commissioner, and he gave a different reason: "We are short of teachers in the camp. You can't leave because the revolution needs it."

Hai and I grew up together and were friends. His personality was different from his father's. He was honest and friendly, but he was always half a beat slower than others in learning and doing things, and he didn't finish high school. I thought he might be a good soldier but not a general. I could be a malleable talent. If I joined the army, then to a military academy, I should become a general and serve the country as an elite. My dream was stifled like this.

I went to Donna's dormitory and pretended to look for Jialin, but I actually wanted to see if Donna was equally lost. She could also be a good soldier or even a sniper, intelligent and bold, with solid survivability and good marksmanship. I also thought it would be suitable for her to be a nurse in the army. If I was wounded on the front line, I knew that gentle hands would be waiting for me.

Donna and Jialin were chatting. Seeing me entering the room, Donna gave me a chair, and she sat down by the bed herself. When Jialin saw me, she said to me half-jokingly and half-seriously, "Xiaofeng, you have a dark cloud over your face. What's the big deal? I didn't go to high school. I came here at fifteen, younger than you now. I laughed as much as I could every day. I have lived here for eight years of my youth..."

I looked at Donna, who was watching me with a smile. Knowing what I wanted to ask, she didn't wait for me to speak and said to me, "I forgot about being a soldier, and I am still me."

Immediately, I was in a better mood. I asked what they were talking about just now. Jialin said Donna taught counting in her native language, and I said I wanted to follow along. I also wanted to learn how to say "I like you."