Falling out

Pressure, that's what I'm feeling right now, about life , a future, job, education, but most importantly pressure of not being alone, I'm afraid the older I get, It will be harder for me to learn how to be a good friend or even a good company for someone, because apparently I've no idea how to do it seeing that I've no friends and the peopled that I say hi to on the gym and people I've met for over 5 years , never seem to go further then I'm good thank you and you? and I just repeat the same back, and they move on to someone else but they don't seem to do the same to others apparently their is more to say but whatever script they have I never learned and I've no idea how to do the same, they don't seem to struggle to chat a lot about whatever happens to their lives and catch up, and laugh and enjoy each other's company and I just stand there alone wondering, what do I do wrong?

Now remembering all that I understand why I've no body to call or release to, why I've have not eaten in days or why I have no motivation to move anymore, because if nobody sees you, are u really there?

I can't do what is always rounding my head, that would only destroy the only person that seeks me, well that is my mom, and before you say that is patetic , well it's the only real reason I'm here, well that and that I'm not about to give up that easily, it might be bad, bad it what I have, and there is people living out worse than me, that's what I tell my self at lest.