Chapter the Third

Yeah, I know. Roaches can live for a week without a head. But now I can't see or eat or even drink so it's still a death sentence.

God thank you I'm in an anime world where regenerating a head takes three days for a guy like me.

By then, the wolf was long gone. And I was left in the middle of the forest… lost. 

But hey! There's no polar bears in sight!

At least all I have to do is find the golden three. Unless it turns out it was indeed a temporary transformation and it just happened to return to normal when I would need it not to.

"Gold tree, here I come"

My wing is also back so, let's get flying, shall we? I sweat, I forget every time how noisy my wings are.

"Hey you there!"

… What the hell? I turned around to find a man with tree bark skin and leafy hair. Inside a wolf… with a deer face on the human neck, a human face on its chest and a wolf face on its… crotch.

It's voice was that of a man's and a woman's at the same time. Isn't that just an anime effect?

God. Why?

"What do you know about that golden tree?"

Ah? Should I tell the truth?

"Hum… I found it?"

The thing approached me, I instinctively took a step back.

"I am a very, very old devil. I know when someone is lying."

"A devil…?"

"I am the forest devil."

"Should have figured it out. I thought you were the animal devil."

It was so odd, the three mouths moved as it spoke.

"Monster. I was going to kill you. The only reason you still live is because you know about this odd tree. So tell me what you know… Lest I show you the might of the natural world!"

The trees around us began to shift and suddenly, roots burst forth from the ground around my feet.

I'm better of telling the truth, I guess.

"Alright… I'll speak."

"Good. Monster meat is often just worse than human meat."

"I made that tree."

Silence. As expected, it doesn't believe me.

"I highly doubt it, insect."

"Well I can prove it."

I'm not sure if I should use it on him… if he survived, I would be in a lot of trouble.

"Really now? Alright. Can you turn me gold then? I've observed the supernatural improvements the state has granted to the three…"

Well I'll be damned.

"You sure, hum, sir? It's very painful. You could die… or might turn into something lesser than gold."

Might as well tell him, so he won't seek revenge if he still decides to go through with it.

"Lesser?"

"If you turn to silver or bronze, the effects are temporary…"

"... Interesting. So you do not have control over your power? Could it be that you made a contract to acquire it?"

Ah. Forgot about those. That's actually a potentially great way to get more powerful.

"No. These powers are, as far as I know, mine alone."

It walked closer to me.

"The prospect of greater power is good. We devils, unlike humans and monsters, do not have to fear death… Alright. Use your power on me."

You asked for it man…. Thing… Who cares?!

I touched the hand of the devil and felt the power course through me, from my heart, through my hands, into it.

And it burst in flames.

Man, that guy was so regretting it. Boy was screaming, begging for it to stop. I couldn't even escape the horror because of those stupid roots.

After a day of fucking STARVING and watching that poor devil get purified… The flames faded… Leaving behind… The same being. Except all the furry parts were now bronze. The bark skin remained the same, the antlers didn't change either…

Can you please make sense? So now some creatures only have certain parts changed?

"It's… Over? Finally… So much pain… Never again…"

"And all this to only turn bronze…"

It rose to its feet, its three heads looking around at the various parts of its body.

"Yet I feel much stronger…"

The forest devil rose its fist into the air, aimed below, and then struck the ground with terrifying force. The whole area was utterly shattered and I was sent flying, I didn't even have enough energy to fly and catch myself!

"Oh no! My poor forest!" The devil aimed its arms at the soil. "I was careless, let me–"

Giant trees burst forth from the ground, growing like, a hundred meters into the sky! Or yards, for the Americans among you.

"–fix… you?"

Even its powers were greatly increased, not just physical characteristics. The devil tried to run towards me, only to shoot forward into the nearby rock, absolutely obliterating it.

"Wha? This power… is incredible!"

It got back on its… four limbs.

"Hey dude, now that we're pals and all that, you'll leave me be, right?"

"Yes, monster. Now tell me, how long will this last?"

I have a bad feeling about this.

"...Twenty four hours."

And then it grinned. Now I'm sure of it. He's going to kill me since he no longer needs me or because he doesn't want anyone else to get this powerful!

And then it just fucking ran off.

"Prepare to die, Humans! Ha, ha, ha!" It screamed as it did.

Well damn. I messed up. I hope there is a hero nearby because otherwise… I can't even begin to think of the damage it will do in twenty four hours… That city will turn into a fucking jungle! Man, I really messed up this time... AGAIN!

This would be the perfect time to be a hero… But not for me, I'm far too weak for this.

When I managed to find my way home, everything was gone, except the golden tree. Probably that forest devil. So now, I actually have to build myself a place and shit. Fuck that. Let's find a cave instead.

In addition, I realised I don't really have to use my power on myself. I can just make armor. Sure, I'll be even uglier and goofy but at least, I'll be alive.

Maybe I should start planting my own food. I'll try to get as many seeds and make them golden… I wonder if the plants grown out of them will also be gold.

I wonder what happens if I turn ice to gold? Those the melted water turn golden too? Does it taste better?

Maybe my power works on a conceptual level. If it makes everything about the forest devil better, if I were to use it on a pair of glasses for example, would they allow anyone to see better?

No matter. Lets just go hunt for something and then rest for as long as possible. Damn, I'm Also gonna have to start training again.

It's been a few weeks since the devil went off to commit mass murder on human kind. 

All had been chill, found my own little cavern, had to beat up a bear for it though. It was worth it. It's really spacious and the river doesn't flow that far from here so that's great for future fishing.

But I don't want to stay here forever. I'm getting bored. And more and more curious. So I was bound to want to do something stupid again at some point. Like going back to the city to look at the damage caused by the forest devil.

So I took flight. Don't worry, I learned from last time. As soon as I felt I was close enough to the very obvious giant trees, I went back on the ground.

It was an otherworldly sight. Through the concrete of the buildings, the forest had grown higher than all the skyscrapers in sight. Bastard managed to claim half the damn city. So now one part was ravaged with craters, another was turned into a giant forest. The rest was probably now overpopulated.

You know, I wonder how long it would take for a single one of these gigantic oaks to turn golden? Let's test it out… And hey, if it works, I'm sure it will only improve the view!

I sent my power to a dozen trees one by one. They illuminated the darkened city and they will continue to do so for days, probably. I'll come back in a few months to see how they turn out.

I did take a look in a few of the buildings, just to spend the time. Unsurprisingly, a lot of monsters took refuge in that city. At least, none of them saw me use my power, so no attention was paid to me there. A good thing.

"Yeah, I'm telling you man! Those devils are crazy powerful! It could have destroyed the whole city if not for…" 

The green one turned its head towards me… That's awkward.

"Don't mind me… keep talking..."

"..."

"...Okay bye!"

"Wait! Who the hell are you?!"

Shit… I need a name! Think... THINK!

Roachman? Fireroach man? Overpowering Roach master? I'm so terrible at this!

"Hum… Goldroach… Man…"

They looked at each other, then at me. Then at each other again… Before laughing.

Oh come on! I tried!

"What the hell kinda name is that?!" The green one said.

"I don't see any gold on you, why don't you just go by roach man?" The red one added.

And then they suddenly stopped. And I felt something in the air, my instincts were telling me I was in danger!

They began to melt into each other, growing in size… Are these little fuckers fusing?! Why do I have to get into fights like that?

When they were done, they looked like a really buff bald guy, half green and half red.

"We are the Red and Green twins, so our name isn't much better."

The newly formed fusion then walked towards me before stopping right.

"This is our territory, Fat Roach Man. And because you dared to come here, you will die for it."

I look up at them and sigh. I'm certainly too weak. I hate to say it but, I have to do it again, I don't see any other way to… oh wait, I have wings!

So I flew off… Only for them to grab my feet and throw me into the ground. So plan one failed, unto plan two. 

"You'll either die or thank me for this!"

From my heart, through my feet, into the red half, which suddenly burst into flame. Terrified and in pain, they couldn't stop me from taking off.

I'm so sorry humankind, I'm causing so much trouble for you!