Chapter 21: Reverse Mountain arc

The crew had ended up inside Laboon's stomach. They looked around and saw a man beating a squid and swimming towards an island. The crew gets ready for a fight as they watch the man. The old man stares at them for a minute and then turns around without saying anything.

A tick mark appears on Sanji's head as he yells. "You wanna fight old man?!" The man looks over at the crew and says nothing for 2 minutes. After 2 minutes of doing nothing he says. "Someone's gonna get hurt if we do."

"Oh yea? And who would that be?!!" Sanji yells at him and the man does nothing for 3 minutes. Then he says in a bland voice. "Me." Before taking out a newspaper and reading it. "Pfft." Kai almost laughed, while Sanji fell over in shock. "I'm gonna kill this old man!" Sanji yelled before both Zoro and Kai held him back. "Who are you old man?" Zoro asked.

The man said nothing for 4 minutes before he said. "It's bad manners to ask for someone else's name before giving your own." Zoro was shocked. "You're right. Sorry. My name is Zo…"

"My name is Crocus, blood type ab, age 71, profession: none. I enjoy taking care of Laboon and I don't enjoy when Laboon smashes the red line." Zoro got mad. "" I'm gonna kill this old man!"" both Zoro and Sanji yelled. Kai held both of them back and stared at the old man. Not saying anything or doing a thing. After 5 minutes. "I'm Fujin, blood type x, age 23, profession: marine, I enjoy a good running joke and I don't enjoy talking tangerines."

Crocus did nothing for 6 minutes before you could hear. "Crohohoho! You're a funny kid! At least one of you appreciates a good running joke!" Then Kai was silent for 7 minutes before going. "Wahahaha! I like you old man! You're pretty funny!" The entire crew felt a tick mark appear on their heads as they all attacked Kai, even Usopp joined in!

After a dust brawl everyone appeared out of it and had bumps on their head, except Kai. Weren't they all supposed to be attacking him? Who knows? "Crohoho. I really like this kid." Crocus laughed to himself and the crew couldn't hear him. Then Luffy appeared with two people tied up.

"Who are these two?" Nami asked.

"I'm Mr. 9!"

"I'm Mrs. Wednesday!"

"What were you doing?"

"We were going to kill the whale!"

Kai shook his head. As if Crocus would let them kill Laboon. More like as if they could even kill him. Then he heard a voice that almost made him facepalm. "Hey Fujin! Is that you?" Vivi asked him while she was still in disguise. "I don't recall ever meeting a Mrs. Wednesday. Sorry love, but you've got the wrong guy. Though I bet this other guy is pretty handsome for you to mistake me for him." Kai nodded sadly as if he was truly sad he couldn't meet another handsome man.

"No! Fujin! I'm not wrong! Don't you remember me? It's me Vivi! Princess Vivi!" Kai felt his eyebrow twitch. She was undercover! Her enemy was right beside her! What was this dumbass telling him her real identity for?! I'm surrounded by idiots! Kai wanted to cry about not having a single intelligent person around him before he was snapped out of his thoughts by Mr. 9.

"What!?? Mrs. Wednesday what did you just say?"

"I'm Vivi! Princess Vivi!" She said before she covered her own mouth to silence herself, "I mean. I think I saw Vivi over there!" She pointed in a random direction and ended up pointing at Crocus.

"Oh I see." Mr. 9 said as he looked at Crocus. He said nothing for 8 minutes then yelled. "There's no way that old man is a princess! Does that mean that you are the princess of Ala.." He was cut off by Kai soru'ing and grabbing his mouth, preventing him from talking. "Fucking idiots! I'm surrounded by them!" He yelled as he walked towards the railing of the ship muttering. "I'm princess Vivi, she said. I'm princess of Alabasta. I'm here to stop you while undercover so I'm going to tell everyone in the world about it! Stupid little girl. I thought I taught her better than that." He got to the edge of the railing and dropped Mr. 9's body into the water after he had killed him by crushing his head. He didn't get any blood on his hands because of his devil fruit power.

"What's wrong with him?" Nami asked Vivi. "I have no clue? He just does this sometimes when he's with me?" Zoro and Sanji felt their mouths twitch. They knew exactly why he was like this. She was an idiot! Kai heard this and roared. "Zoro get me a fucking drink! Now!" Zoro smirked and nodded as he tossed him a gourd.

Kai started to geppo towards Crocus and muttered something about losing braincells by being with these idiots.

"I still can't believe he can just walk on air!" Nami yelled. "You get used to it." Vivi said. "What do you mean?!" Nami asked incredulously. "A bunch of people do that. You get used to it after a while." Vivi nodded, absolutely shattering Nami's world view. "He was telling the truth??!!!! It's normal?!?! What the actual fuck?!" Nami's eyes were spinning in circles as she couldn't believe it. "I told you Tangerine! Why do you never listen to me?" Kai shook his head like she was an idiot for not believing it was normal to practically fly.

Kai landed next to Crocus. "See what I have to deal with? Idiots, the lot of them." Crocus nodded understandingly. "You have no idea kid." Kai scoffed, "There's no way ginger was as bad as these clowns! Besides, that clown kid is just funny!" Crocus was mildly surprised. "You know Shanks and Buggy?"

"Ginger taught me swordsmanship. I just met the clown recently but he was really funny!" Crocus just nodded. Buggy was funny! If Buggy heard this he would start crying again. He wasn't funny! People just bullied him!

"Shanks used to be just like those fools, but I think you misunderstood my point kid. The worst one was our captain." Kai nodded and facepalmed. "Forgot for a minute. I got a little too caught up in all the stories of how ruthless and bloodthirsty the pirate king was. I forgot that he was just like the rubber kid."

Crocus was surprised again. "You don't think Roger was a killer?" Kai laughed. "Garp is my adoptive gramps. I know all about him! Wahahaha!" Crocus finally had a smile form on his face. "You're not so bad for a brat."

"And you aren't bad for an old man. That running joke was great! They were all so mad! Wahaha! Anyway, old man. Real question. Do you know anything about genetic enhancement? More specifically, how to reverse it."

"Sorry kid. I'm too old for that stuff. I only know about normal stuff." Kai said 'sorry Rei, soon' in his heart before he asked Crocus. "Can I make a few copies of your notes? The idiot kids didn't even bring a doctor to the grand line. Plus when we get one, your notes will be a lot of help." Crocus nodded in approval. Kai made the notes and brought them back. By the time everything was over the crew was ready to leave and everything with Luffy and Laboon was over.