Disappointing Dragon

'How rude.' Cherry thought, opening her eyes to focus once more on her immediate surroundings. 'I ought to turn Smoker in for snail abuse and destruction of world government property!'

Cherry chuckled at her own joke and drew the attention of Nami. "What were you doing, Cherry?"

"I was just chatting with Smoker. He had intercepted the distress call, you see. He seems pretty eager to catch us." Cherry said casually.

"What?! Are they coming here?! Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Robin, and Cabernet just took the Merry Junior to shore!" Nami said, somewhat flustered.

"What are you getting so worked up for? It's just Smoker, Tashigi, and his crew of ruffians in uniform. Nothing that we can't handle. Hell, nothing that I can't handle by myself." Cherry spoke confidently.

"If he isn't a fool, then he will call for backup, no?" Jinbe asked.

"Doesn't seem like the type, if you ask me. Also, I learned a bit about this island from them. It's called Punk Hazard, and it seems that it's a restricted area. If Smoker tattled to get back up, he would probably be told to back off. Something he wouldn't accept, if I've understood him correctly." Cherry said.

"He did chase Luffy all this way from Loguetown…" Nami said.

"He really didn't take it well when Luffy got away from him, huh?" Usopp added.

"It's sooo hooot!" Chopper moaned in discomfort as he lay on the deck, tongue lolling out of his mouth.

"The other side of the island should be frozen. Want to circle around?" Cherry offered.

"How can it be frozen when this side is on fire?" Usopp asked incredulously.

"No, she should be right!" Nami exclaimed in realization. "The clouds in the distance are like those found in an arctic climate, and the distress caller also said it was cold!"

"Makes sense, since this was the location of Akainu and Aokiji's battle for the position of Fleet Admiral." Cherry said.

"Wait… you mean all this…?" Usopp widened his eyes in shock.

"Was caused by two dudes duking it out, one on one. Yeah." Cherry confirmed.

It was one thing to be vaguely aware of the admirals' position as the strongest powerhouses in the marines, and another entirely to see with your very own eyes the true breadth of the destruction they were capable of.

Nami, Usopp, and Chopper gulped. The encounter with Admiral Kizaru two years ago had left an impression of the admirals' strength on their minds, but this sight made them realize that he probably hadn't been trying all that hard to catch them.

"I hope we don't run into anyone like that ever again." Usopp mumbled.

"You jinxed it, good job." Cherry snickered as he clamped his own traitorous mouth shut with his hands.

…

"How come you aren't sweating at all, Robin?" Luffy asked, dripping with his own sweat.

"Don't ask Robin weird questions, Luffy!" Sanji rebuked.

"Is it hot? I hadn't noticed. Perhaps you're just imagining the heat?" Robin teased.

For a cultivator, this level of ambient heat wasn't any big deal, certainly not enough to break a sweat over.

"I'm not sweating either, why didn't you ask me?" Cabernet said. All their eyes went to the flame that perpetually burned on her shoulders.

*BOOM*

A massive red form landed before them. Its armor was like tenfold shields, its teeth were swords, its claws spears, the shock of its tail a thunderbolt, its wings a hurricane, and its breath… death.

*ROAR*

Robin, Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji leapt out of the way as a great horizontal column of flame, bright as the sun, reduced all in its path to ash or lava.

All except for Cabernet who stood right where she was and came out completely unscathed. Rather she had stars in her eyes, excited to see a supposedly mythical creature standing right in front of her in the flesh.

Seeing that its flames did nothing, the dragon didn't back down. Instead it tried to bite down on the winged woman and swallow her whole. It could not have predicted that the woman would not flee, but instead charge right down its gullet.

"That idiot…" Zoro said, drawing his swords.

"Don't call her an idiot! You're an idiot, Mosshead!" Sanji said, preparing to attack the dragon as well. "I don't care that you're a legendary monster. I'm going to cook you up and serve you!"

"Shishishi! Dragon barbeque!" Luffy was naturally most excited over the prospect of food.

"Who goes there! Show yourself! -bu" The voice came from the dragon, but strangely it was too 'normal' for a dragon, even considering the antiquated accent.

"It talked?!" Luffy gawked, then smiled. "Join my crew!"

"I won't allow it! It ate Cabernet!" Sanji shouted.

"That's not the only problem…" Zoro said.

"Luffy, the voice isn't coming from the dragon. There seems to be a person on its back." Robin added.

"Hm, is that so?" Luffy said, his eagerness clearly dampened.

The dragon had been surprisingly docile after swallowing Cabernet, as they just began to notice. It started to tremble on its legs before collapsing to the ground.

The dragon let out a belch of flame, smoke trickling out from between its teeth, then it moved no more and its eyes dimmed.

When its jaw opened, Cabernet climbed out of its mouth, smoke billowing out behind her.

"Hmph, if you can't handle the heat, then stay out of the kitchen." Cabernet said, striking a cool pose.

"Hm? Did I stop moving? -bu" The voice said, clearly not coming from the dragon.

Luffy went to search for the voice's origin whilst Sanji and Zoro worked out how best to start carving up the dragon's corpse.

"Oh, it's pretty well cooked as is. As expected of Cabernet-chan~!" Sanji complimented Cabernet, who blushed a bit at the praise.

Luffy, with the guidance of Robin, finally found the source of the voice. A pair of legs sticking out of the dragon. Luffy grabbed hold of the legs.

"Unhand me! -bu" Said the man.

Luffy gave a hard pull and the legs came free, but with nothing else attached above the waist.

"How odd." Robin said.

"He's awfully lively for someone with no upper half." Zoro commented.

"I've been pulled free? -bu" The legs said. "I would ask who you people are, but I have no eyes or ears. -bu"

"Shishishishi, let's have him join the crew!" Luffy said.

The legs seemed to sense danger as they suddenly leapt into action, attempting to flee. "I have no time to waste on you, whoever you are! -bu"

Sanji appeared in the path of the legs with dragon kebabs he prepared for the ladies. Unfortunately, the legs had no time to change directions or stop and rammed right into him.

"That's a good look on you, idiot chef." Zoro mocked with a smile.

Sanji was aghast at the pair of legs they were now protruding from his stomach.

"No fair, Sanji! I wanted to be a centaur!" Luffy pouted.

"Why do you look so upset? Now you have twice the kicking power, hahahaha!" Zoro openly laughed at him.

"Damn it, I've gotten stuck again! -bu" The legs lamented.

Although the air was filled with a sulfur-like smell, Sanji could tell the medium by which these legs were speaking wasn't something sanitary. The legs had just farted on his carefully prepared kebabs.

The legs sensed his hostility and attempted to kick at him preemptively, but Sanji wasn't about to be kicked by another man, especially not in front of two lovely ladies.

What occurred then was a strange, but fascinating duel of kicking legs that were attached to the same body. Ultimately, victory was Sanji's when he kneed the offensive legs in the groin, subduing them for a time.

"Get this thing off of me!" Sanji growled at Luffy, who had been rolling on the ground and laughing at his expense.

Cabernet stepped forward and , placing one hand against Sanji's chest and grabbing the legs' sash with the other, yanked the two apart. She then carried the legs over to Luffy and affixed them to his back as he had wished.

"It's not nice to play around with other people like toys, Cabernet. It isn't in good taste." Robin said.

"He's the captain, though." Cabernet said, failing to hide her true feelings. She really just wanted to see a centaur, even if it wasn't a real one.