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Hello, if you perhaps intend to read this dumpster fire of a quick write, may you both be warned and disgusted in yourself for your vile tastes and the thinnest possibility that you like this. This is not meant to be good, there will be plenty of spelling mistakes, and logic and basic lore of one piece will be smashed against the wall, scooped up with a dustbin, and wiped not-so-discreetly dumped onto someone else's floor. May you be warned. -{New note! I've decided to rework this, as I've got a bit of free time and I got bored living life. It'll be the same, maybe, and I don't remember much of the island names, so I'll just look those up on a one piece timeline video. --{Double note. I decided to rename him as well. I also forgot everything I wrote. I probably made him too powerful. --- --- --- --- --- Winston Vermont, our protagonist, is an above average otaku living a great life. He makes enough money to live, gets to game with his friends, and he collects rare collectibles for fun, so that's fun. However, on a particularly bad day, he happen to be walking down the street, down to his house, when he saw a truck on a war path, headed straight for him! So, like any self-respecting [And preserving] human would, he threw a young woman behind him in front of the trucks path while he threw himself forward at the other end of the crosswalk. Luckily for him, the woman managed to stall the truck just long enough for him to get out of the way, isn't that just great? However, on the way home, he did die because he got mugged, that's sad I guess. However, while his soul is in the middle of dissipating, he is instead grabbed by a mysterious [Plot-driven] force, and catapulted across countless universes in mere seconds, landing directly on an island in a distant universe. However, on the way there, he figured out a weird ability he acquired on his way there: He could now split himself into multiple people. Oh yeah, he also recognized this universe as 'one piece', the pirate anime without any actual pirates in it. Will he survive? Probably not, he isn't smart. Will you like this? Probably not, this kind of sucks. Will I ever shut up? Nope. Never. Nada. === === === === === === === === Note, I'll probably finish this over a long period of time. I'll try to get one chapter out weekly at least I guess, but this is more of a 'read over time' instead of a 'get it done quickly' fanfic.
P.S, you will need to read the Synopsis first before understanding much of this. This starts off at the point where his soul has been dragged from earth and thrown into the world of one piece.
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-Winston POV-
Hm.
Hmmm.
Hmmmmm.
So, I've got one question, one simple little query: WHERE THE FUCK AM I!!!
I was currently cradled in the arms of a boorish man - seriously, he smelled and looked like some sort of African buffalo - his grating voice echoing throughout the room as he sung a shitty lullaby.
There was also a bed beneath his ass, and from the feeling of resistance against my struggling, I could tell he was paying close attention to me - the bastard kept tightening his grip after all.
He kept doing it - for so fucking long, he just kept singing. I don't even think filler episodes could go on for this long, even for a shitty anime, this was a bit much - but it did give me the time to list his features.
He had oily black hair to his nape, brownish skin, foggy gray eyes - muscles that I'm certain couldn't be human, he looked like a goddamn bull - and dark brown pants with a leather belt. The belt itself had a golden buckle with the word 'BRASS' fashioned to the front in all capitals - and from the smell, he didn't have shoes - or clean feet.
After a while, his voice faded into the background - albeit begrudgingly, I could tell from it seemingly getting louder the less attention I paid to it - a generally 'large' woman burst through the door - shouting at the man, and why did his name feel so familiar?
"DOUGLAS!!!"
Although I didn't have an exact estimate of her height, she must've been huge, since she nearly hit her head on the door frame as he burst in - her fern-green hair cascading down her back - similarly cold, grayish eyes to the 'Douglas' guy, albeit firmer - and a lighter shade of brown skin.
She was wearing a red tank-top and dry beige pants, with two large, black, combat boots to cover up her feet - with a surprising level of muscle, albeit she still looked like a thin young girl compared to the muscles of Douglas.
When she made her way through the door - breaking the poor thing on her way in - Douglas froze still, as if he were a statue. And he definitely behaved like one, just a really bad one.
He quickly set me down on the bed before turning over to her - an awkward, fearful look in his eyes as he beheld her.
"Hey, honey.... L-Long time no see..?"
Gods - I didn't even know the guy, and I wanted to punch him.
I don't know why he was so nervous, but I'm already invested - being around him for what felt like a few hours was definitely enough for me to stop caring.
"So.. Let me get this straight, Douglas.."
She took a step forward - if she had sleeves, she would've rolled them up right then and there. "You go sprintin' off into the seas with those alleyway boys for nine... NINE months, leaving me pregnant here - alone - without even saying goodbye?"
Shit - this guy was going to fucking die.
"You... You come back to ME, to Jolly D. Gajaw, to try father our- wait, that isn't correct now, is it?" She took another step forward, hand on his neck - her grip sure was tight - I could see the depth of her handprints on his neck already.
"You come to step-father MY child after all this time - and you expect me to just take you back? You fucking half-wit, yellow-belly cock-stain deadbeat fuck-jaw!?"
Just- what- huh-
My brain was in the middle of processing her insults when she suddenly swung a left-hook straight into his neck - flinging him over the bed and through the wooden wall like a toy.
"And don't come back, asshat!"
She scoffed, picking me up - and in that instant, her face just changed - from a humanoid ogre to a loving, caring mother - even her muscles seemed to dim a 'wee bit when she put her attention fully on me.
"Now, Laos, don't be a fuck-for-brains no-nuts nancy like yer' father for me, won't you?" She asked, gently petting my face -but I was sweating fucking bullets - I was going to die to these two at this rate.
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I'll continue later.
