39 Fun With the Death Note

Dabi was taking a shower when he heard the familiar sound of a boom tube opening up somewhere in the mansion grounds. Rinsing the shampoo out of his hair, the villain wrapped a towel around his hip as he left the bathroom to investigate. Walking towards the mansion's front door with a confident swagger, Saitama looked very pleased with himself as he carried a thin black book in his hand.

"Ah, Dabi, come meet our newest team member!" the caped baldy exclaimed when he noticed the towel-clad man watching his arrival. "Check it out, we've got ourselves a Shinigami! This creepy-looking dude is Ryuk!"

"Um…is he invisible, or something?" Dabi asked as from his perspective, Saitama was alone.

"Oh, I forgot to mention, only those who have touched the Death Note can see me," Ryuk explained, where he hovered over the grey-suited man from behind.

"Well dang HAHA I wish you'd told me that before we got here!" the bald villain laughed nervously as his face went red. "Dabi, quick, come touch this black note book!"

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"Huh, so this guy is a Shinigami?" Dabi asked after holding the Death Note in his hand for a bit, where he was soon able to see the demonic-looking thing that stood being his boss. "I like his style."

"I was about to say the same thing about you," Ryuk replied, referring to the flame villain's patchwork style of skin grafts and black, spiky hair.

"His magical spooky death book is going to be our first tool that we can use to subjugate the planet," Saitama explained as he held the Death Note up. "Think about it, imagine writing the names of world leaders or celebrities in here. Heck even heroes! And then, we make it so that their deaths happen in some hilarious fashion, so that it freaks everyone out!"

"You could use it strategically, I see the application," Dabi agreed as he rubbed his chin. "Have you tested it out yet?"

"Nope, but just wait until tonight," the bald villain said with a grin. "You'd better walk me through it, Ryuk, because I want this to go off without a hitch."

And thus, under the tutelage of the Shinigami who'd allowed his deadly notebook to fall into the hands of possibly the worst person imaginable, Saitama's now-twisted mind swam with sadistic ideas on how to test the function of the Death Note. Giggling to himself as he penned down some of his ideas, the caped baldy used the internet to pull the names of certain public people to use them in his schemes.

Night eventually fell over the island, and Saitama was at the edge of his seat waiting to see the results of his murderous penmanship. Glued to the large TV screen in his bedroom, the fallen hero started laughed maniacally as story after breaking news story began to interrupt the usual scheduled programming.

"Paris is in shambles as the French Prime Minister, Pierre Bilodeau, appeared to commit suicide on live TV when he abruptly pulled the pin of a grenade that he had in his pocket, and promptly placed the explosive inside his mouth," an American news anchor reported, his long face bearing a grim expression. "Millions of French viewers were traumatized when the head of their nation's leader exploded during the broadcast, and authorities are investigating the case as a potential attack from a supervillain."

Changing the channel, Saitama kicked his legs excitedly as another story regarding his antics was shown on a Canadian news network.

"Airforce Captain, Chadwick Schmidt, is being investigated with possible ties to terrorist organizations when the famous pilot used his F-16 jet to shoot down 5 civilian airliners, before nosediving his own plane into the ocean," the exasperated female anchor explained. "The death toll is thought to be in the thousands…"

"Wait a second…" Ryuk thought to himself as the next few news stories played. "That's not how the Death Note is supposed to work. A person's cause of death can't lead to other people dying, that's against the rules. How in the…"

"Famous K-Pop group, Monster-Y, was being investigated after the 10-member band pulled out semi-automatics and opened fire into their audience, but all 10 have been confirmed dead via heart attacks since…"

"Amanda Waller, head of A.R.G.U.S, reportedly commanded the Suicide Squad to massacre the as many civilians in Metropolis as they could, before she turned her sidearm on herself in a strange massacre-suicide. Local superheroes are still trying to…"

"Notorious female rapper, Micky Nimaj, shocked concertgoers when she dragged one of her backup dancers to the ground and began to smother her to death using her large posterior, before strangling herself using a mic cord…"

"HAHAHAHAHA, now this is fun!!" Saitama roared with laughter upon watching the many intricate death scenarios that he'd written in the Death Note come to pass. "I'll make them all live in fear, where they won't know when doom will come. Will it be by my fist, or by some hilarious disaster? They'll never see it coming!"

"Heh, now that was fun to watch!" Ryuk joined in with a chuckle, before again thinking to himself. "How was this guy able to bypass the normal rules of the Death Note? Not even Shinigami can do that! What is this thing, is he even human?"

"No comment," Dabi said with a nervous smile.

Staring proudly at the coveted notebook, Saitama now held with him a weapon of mass destruction that aimed to give him a new method of instilling fear upon the world. Although his seemingly-insurmountable strength alone had brought panic to the Earth, the Death Note presented a new way to add chaos to the increasingly disaster-ridden planet.

"I wonder what Harley would think of this thing," the caped baldy wondered out loud. "She'll be back soon enough, I'm sure, and then the whole team will be together again! I don't want to have all the fun in the upcoming battle!"

"Upcoming battle?" Dabi asked. "What're you talking about, that attack on this island totally failed."

"If I know this place so far, then they're not going to just let me waltz in and take control of the world," Saitama explained as he walked up to the large bedroom window that overlooked the distant ocean. "They're not going to take it lying down, so you'd better believe that they're assembling a new force to combat me. Ooohhh, I can't wait to see what they'll come up with!"

"You know, I just realized. They have those cube teleport thingies too, don't they?" Dabi asked as he ran a hand through his spiked hair. "Couldn't they technically pull someone else from another reality too to help them?"

"I'm not just taking that into account as a possibility…" the bald villain snickered to himself through an evil smirk. "I'm betting on it."