19. Chapter 19

Poor little Kate has been through a lot but don't worry things will be looking up soon. Let me know if you like it!

"She's still in pain." Erin spoke into her phone as she sat on the couch, her daughter curled up in her lap. Kate had barely uttered a few words since Jay had left and remained glued to Erin, unwilling to release her mother's sweater from her tiny fists.

"The medicine hasn't kicked in yet?" Jay asked, ignoring a pointed look from the court martial. He was set to testify next and had slipped out in order to take Erin's call, unable to pay attention to the trial when his little girl was at home and in pain.

"The new pills need to be taken with food, and I can't get her to eat anything." Erin sighed. "I've got crackers, bread, juice and the meds on the coffee table but she's just in too much pain to move." She ran her fingers through Kate's hair, gently trying to soothe her aching child.

"What about a popsicle or something?" Jay suggested, flipping his hand at the officer who tried to get him to leave, "Something cool might appeal. Then go for bread or crackers and hopefully medicine."

"Alright. I'll call you if anything changes." Erin hung up her phone and glanced down at her little girl. "Kate, baby, what about a popsicle? Does that sound good?"

Kate didn't immediately respond. "Can it be purple?" she asked after a beat, her little voice sounding tearful.

"Of course." Erin smiled, relieved that Kate expressed any interest in food. "I'm going to bring you to the kitchen, all right? Because I need to get the popsicle from the freezer and I can't do that without moving you."

"But it's gonna hurt." Kate whimpered, pressing herself into her mother, fresh tears leaking onto Erin's shoulder.

"I know, but the popsicle means you can take some medicine that won't make you sick, how does that sound?"

"Okay." Kate whispered, and groaned as her mother carried her to the kitchen. Erin quickly snagged two grape popsicles out of the freezer and settled in a chair at the kitchen table.

"Does that taste good?" Erin asked as Kate slowly worked through her popsicle. Her eyes had dried a little, but they remained red and swollen from all the tears, "Purple is my favorite flavor too."

"Mmm," she replied, snuggling in closer to her mother, gently placing the popsicle stick on the table beside Erin's, "Can I take the medicine now?"

"Do you think you could have a piece of bread first?" Erin handed her daughter a piece of plain bread, which she ate slowly. "Good girl." She pressed a kiss atop Kate's head after she swallowed the medication, "I am so proud of you sweetheart. You're being so brave."

Kate and Erin resumed their spot on the couch, Kate still holding tight to her mother. Erin continued to cradle her little girl in her lap, attempting to get her to sleep. After a while, Erin dialed Jay, figuring he would be out of the courtroom. "Popsicle worked," she breathed as soon as he answered.

"She got the meds down?"

"She's still in pain though. We have barely moved all day." Erin looked down at Kate, who was staring at the blank television screen. They hadn't so much as turned it on due to Kate's dizziness. "She's so dizzy. And in a lot of pain."

"The medicine didn't help at all?" Jay sighed, dragging a hand over his face.

"Not really, no." She rubbed her eyes. "When are you coming home?"

"Hopefully I'll be home for a late dinner." Jay replied. "I'll keep you updated."

"Bye babe." She closed her phone, feeling Kate's forehead. "Any better?"

Kate's eyes filled with tears for the umpteenth time that day. "No."

"It's going to be alright," Erin soothed, gently rubbing her daughter's arm. "I know it hurts now, but it's going to get better."

Kate whimpered. "Why don't you try to go to sleep? You haven't even napped today." Erin suggested.

"I can't." Kate replied tearfully. "It hurts too bad. And I'm too scared."

"What's scaring you?"

"The mean men." She whispered, tears continuing to drip down her face. "I'm sorry for crying, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Shh, baby." Erin held her child closer. "It'll get better. I'll keep you safe."

"Sorry for crying so much." Kate whispered later that afternoon, when she was cuddled up against her mother on the couch.

"Don't apologize baby." Erin stroked her daughter's cheek. "You're in pain. You're allowed to cry. It wasn't your fault you had an allergic reaction."

A tear slipped down Kate's cheek. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" Erin asked, wiping her cheek, "Do you feel sick?"

"I still hurt." The little girl looked up at her mother with sad eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Oh, baby." Erin held her child close, running her fingers through her hair. "Did the medicine make any difference?"

She shrugged then winced. "I'm just dizzy."

"And your tummy hurts?" Kate nodded then squeezed her eyes shut, disturbed by the motion. More tears slipped down her cheeks. "Can you try to eat some more bread? You can take another dose of medicine in an hour."

Jay returned to the apartment, bearing take out, at around seven. Kate had finally fallen asleep after the second dose of medication kicked in, but she remained clamped to Erin, and Erin was too worried to move. She sat for four hours as her daughter slept and finally allowed her own tears to slip down her cheeks.

"Erin?" Jay called quietly into the dark apartment when he entered. There was only a lowlight on in the kitchen, but the rest of the living room and bedrooms were barely visible in the early December evening light.

"In here." She whispered back, quickly wiping her eyes. "She's asleep." Jay set the takeout bags down on the kitchen counter before flipping the lights on in the living room.

"Are you alright?" Jay asked as soon as he noticed her red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Erin nodded, but then quickly shook her head. "What's wrong?" He sank down beside her and wiped her cheek.

"I couldn't help her," Erin replied tearfully, "This poor child was in so much pain and I couldn't do anything."

"Hey, hey, hey." Jay stroked her cheek. "She's alright. There's nothing you could do besides what you did. Have you been sitting here all day?" Erin nodded. "You've been on the couch with her for seven hours. Kate knows you were doing all that you could."

"I know, but…but…" Erin stuttered, tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes.

"You were amazing, Er." Jay pressed a kiss into the side of her head. The couple sat on the couch like that for a few more minutes before Jay turned to his girlfriend. "What is Kate's medicine schedule again?"

"Every four hours during the day. So she needs another dose before we put her to bed." Erin looked down at her daughter. "Should we wake her up now?"

"Might as well." Jay received a look that indicated he should wake up the little girl. "Hi Squirt. Wake up, kiddo."

Groggily, Kate opened her eyes. "I'm sorry we had to wake you up Squirt, but it's time for some more medicine, and then you can go to bed." Jay gently lifted the little girl out of her mother's tired arms. Kate was in a drug-induced haze, not fully asleep but definitely not awake.

"Daddy? Mommy?" Kate mumbled and whimpered when her body shifted.

"Hi honey." Erin cooed, "You've been asleep for a little while now. We have to take more medicine." Kate let out another whimper. "I know babes, but after you take your medicine you can have a nice, long, sleep."

Jay managed to coax Kate into eating a few crackers before taking her medicine and settling her in her bed. "No Daddy." Kate cried as her father set her down on the mattress, appearing more lucid, "No, no, no!"

He glanced at the doorframe where Erin leaned, exhausted. "Sleep is what will make you heal faster." Jay kissed Kate's forehead.

"No please!" She sniveled desperately, "Please don't leave me."

"Let's bring her to our bed." Erin spoke up, stifling a yawn. Jay nodded and gently lifted Kate, who breathed a sigh of relief. He tucked her in between his and Erin's sides before kissing her forehead again.

"Mommy and I will be right outside, alright?" Kate nodded sleepily and closed her eyes.

"Goodnight sweetheart." Erin gave the little girl a kiss and then leaned into her partner, who put his arm around her.

"You haven't eaten all day, have you?" Jay asked after exiting the bedroom. Erin shook her head and sank into a kitchen chair, barely able to keep her head up right.

Erin caught a glimpse of herself in the oven's reflection. "At least I look as crappy as I feel." She commented on her haggard appearance.

Jay set plate with cold noodles on it and slumped into the chair next to his partner. "You've barely slept in the last week." He handed Erin a fork, and the two of them dug into the takeout. "And I've got a feeling that this isn't going to be an easy few days."

Erin nodded sadly, chewing thoughtfully on a forkful of noodles. "Contact feels good to her I think. Poor thing just didn't want to let me go."

Jay smiled softly. "Because she trusts us. Which is huge for her."

"Can I have some coffee please?" A few days later, Kate was sitting at the kitchen table, Erin helping her put on boots while Jay got ready. The past week Erin and Jay had traded off going into work and staying home with Kate. Due to the stitches, Kate had been taking baths with a washcloth and rinsing her hair in the kitchen sink but was finally able to take a short shower this morning. It was also the first day the little girl was feeling well enough to walk around and eat more than just popsicles, juice and crackers.

"Why do you want coffee silly?" Erin tied the laces into a bow. "Only grown ups drink coffee."

"I want to stay awake," Kate said seriously. "Honest Mommy I'm so tired."

"Coffee is really bad for tiny bodies like yours." Erin tapped her chin, trying to come up with a solution for the little girl who looked desperate. "I can give you some orange juice. People drink it in the morning because they have natural enzymes that wake you up."

Kate nodded eagerly and accepted a sippy cup full of juice. "Can you try to eat something before we leave?" Erin asked. "How about some oatmeal? Does that sound good?"

Kate shrugged and watched her mother stir boiling water into the uncooked oats. Her eyes kept closing and it was a sure struggle to keep them open. She jumped when Erin set the bowl in front of her.

"Eat up babes, we gotta get going." Erin headed to the sink to do the breakfast dishes.

"Uh, I don't feel so good." Kate pushed the bowl of oatmeal away less than two minutes after Erin had set it in front of her.

"You're not hungry?" Jay set his badge and service weapon down on the counter and glanced at his daughter. "Squirt?" He approached the kitchen table, kneeling beside Kate. "Er, she's gone white as a sheet."

"I don't feel good." Kate repeated, beginning to panic. "I-I-I think I'm going to throw up."

Erin rushed over with the garbage can and placed it under Kate's chin just in time. "Ugh," Kate moaned, tears filling her eyes. "Ouch."

Jay glanced into the trash. "Oh, sweetheart, I think the orange juice was too acidic for your tummy just yet." He wiped the tears off her cheek with a napkin.

"I think her meds didn't do well with it either." Erin tied the trash bag and set it out into the hallway to be collected. "I'm so sorry, baby. How do you feel now?"

"Better." Kate sighed. "But sleepy."

"Well let's get those meds in you again, but how about some apple juice instead?" Erin offered, pulling the medication down from the cupboard.

"Sounds good." Kate wrapped her arms around Jay's neck and allowed him to carry her to the counter. She glanced at the medication again. "When am I going to feel better?"

"Hopefully after you take this medicine." Jay told her, pouring apple juice into a plastic cup.

"No, I mean for good." Kate looked up at her parents with tear-filled eyes. "I'm tired of taking all the medicine."

"In a few weeks, hopefully." Jay said honestly while Erin gave her the pills.

"Really?" Kate raised her eyebrows skeptically.

"Have I ever lied to you?" Jay asked. The little girl shrugged her shoulders. "Do you remember when we taught you how to swim? You were really nervous that you were going to drown, but I promised I wouldn't let that happen."

Kate nodded, recalling the fun time that she had with her parents in the pool. "See, you trusted me there with your whole life. And I promise you that I won't let anything bad happen to you, but that means you have to take your medicine. And it's going to take some time, but you will feel better."

"Okay." Kate nodded, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around Jay's neck. "I trust you."

"Is this going to work?" Erin glanced over at Kate, who was sleepily talking to Burgess in the breakroom. The couple had purchased a cloth beach lounge chair for Kate to sit comfortably in while her stomach was healing, so the little girl was reclined and already starting to doze off again. Jay peered through the doorway and back to Erin.

"Well, we took two cars, so if we need to we can bring her home." Jay glanced into the breakroom again. "But honestly babe, I feel best when she's here, where we are. Plus, she can eat and walk so it's not like we need to be home. And she's safe here."

Erin nodded and leaned into her partner's embrace. "Hank. Hey." She greeted, catching sight of her father figure walking through the bullpen, "How was the com-stat meeting?"

"Same old, same old." Hank replied, "How's the kid?"

"Better," Jay said, "I mean, still in a ton of pain, but she's able to be here today so we're hoping the worst is behind us."

"Good." Hank nodded, poking his head into the breakroom. "Hey kiddo."

"Hi Sergeant Voight." Kate waved tiredly, "I'm sore so I'm not going to give you a hug."

Voight smiled sympathetically. "Not a problem. You okay to hang out with me today? Maybe read a few books?"

Kate nodded, "I would like that."

In a rare stroke of luck, the case Intelligence caught in the morning was straightforward and solved by three in the afternoon. Kate had fallen asleep in Voight's lap as he filed paperwork while the rest of the squad was out in the field. "Has she been asleep this whole time?" Jay asked after knocking on Voight's office door.

"Pretty much since you left." Hank confirmed, leaning back in his chair, the little girl still snuggled into his chest, "I woke her up around noon and managed to get a banana and her meds in her before she fell asleep like this," He gestured to the child, "No tears though."

"Good." Jay smiled, "Erin's bringing her car around now." He gently shifted the little girl out of his sergeant's arms. "Thank you so much for being with her."

"Anytime." Hank waved his hand, "No trouble at all."

"Daddy?" Kate opened her eyes slowly and glanced around, "Where's sergeant Voight?"

"Here, kiddo." Hank said, "You and your folks get to go home a little bit early today since they closed the case."

Kate nodded, letting out a whimper as Jay shifted her again. "Sorry, Squirt," he apologized, "How are you feeling?"

"Sleepy." Kate replied, "Thank you Sergeant Voight."

"Bye kiddo." Hank waved as Jay exited his office, sure to pick up the tote bag of books on his way out.

"I hurt, Daddy," Kate whined as he carefully made his way down the steps. Each step he took seemed to jostle the little girl no matter how gentle he was.

"I know, sweetheart." Jay felt incredibly guilty for moving his daughter, but knew she would be far more comfortable at home than at the district. "We're heading home right now and then you can take some more medicine, okay?"

Kate whimpered again as Jay maneuvered her so he could open the door to Erin's car. "Hey baby," Erin greeted, "Did you have fun with Sergeant Voight?"

"I was too sleepy to play." Kate informed her mother, letting out a squeak of pain as Jay set her in the car seat, "I'm hurting."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." Erin cooed, "Daddy's going to meet us at home and then we can get you some medicine."

"We should wake her up. She needs to take her meds in an hour." Erin glanced into the backseat of her car. The little girl had fallen asleep after Erin pulled away from the district, one arm gingerly resting over her aching stomach.

Jay had parked his car behind hers and was leaning against the hood of it. "I know. Poor thing was so upset that I moved her. You can be the bad guy this time."

Erin put her hands on her hips. "Fine." She slowly opened the car door and unbuckled Kate. "Kate. Wake up sweetheart."

The child opened her eyes and winced at the dull ache in her stomach. "Mommy? We're home?"

"We're home early today, baby. Do you want to bake some cookies?" Erin shot a grin at her partner, recognizing that the promise of baking instantly would perk the little girl's interest.

Kate nodded. "Okay." She rubbed her eyes and accepted the boost into Erin's arms. She rested her head on her mother's shoulder, tiredly struggling to keep her eyes open.

"Looks like you're still the bad guy." Erin smirked at her partner, following him into the apartment. "Sometimes you just gotta have something in your back pocket."

"I get it." Jay threw his hands up. "You're good."

"What?" Kate looked up at both her parents curiously.

"Nothing. Just work stuff." Jay smiled at his daughter. "Do you think you can put your apron on? I'll get the ingredients out of the cupboard in a second."

"Two cups of flour." Erin read out from the recipe. Kate filled the mixer with two cups of flour. "And 2 teaspoons baking soda. Awesome job, Kate." She beamed at the little girl, who as tiredly sitting on the countertop. Kate smiled back, appearing to be distracted from the pain in her stomach for at least a little while.

Erin took a pinch of flour and flicked it at Jay, who was busy creaming butter and sugar for the second half of the recipe. "Hey. Mix carefully, Halstead." She giggled as she flicked another pinch of flour, the front of his Henley now speckled with white dust. Kate's smile widened as Jay looked at his partner in shock.

"Well, you started it." Jay grabbed a fistful of flour and blew it in Erin's face.

"Daddy!" Kate shrieked with laughter, the flour now all over her and her mother, "I'm all white!"

"Take cover Squirt!" Jay handed her a baking sheet just as Erin threw an egg at his face. It hit his neck, exploding with yellow gooeyness.

"That's it." Jay began rapid firing chocolate chips at his partner, while Kate ducked behind the baking sheet.

Erin grabbed bowl of dry ingredients and threw a fistful of it toward her boyfriend. "This means…war!" she shouted as creamed butter and sugar mixture made its way onto her face. Jay held up the whisk tauntingly, flicking another dollop toward his girlfriend.

Kate squealed with laughter as Jay began throwing eggs, missing Erin half the time. The floor was covered in a sticky mess of batter, flour and raw egg. "I surrender!" Erin yelped as the egg made contact with her hair.

Jay caught her around the stomach and twirled her around, but they slipped and fell into the disgusting slush on their kitchen floor. "Jay!" Erin half yelled half laughed.

"Sorry." he scooped up some slush and plopped it on her head. "Not sorry about that."

Kate slowly put down her shield and looked at her parents in disbelief. Erin was struggling to escape her partner's sticky grip, but he held her hands. "Kiss me and say you're sorry," he instructed.

She licked his cheek, which was dripping with batter. "I won't kiss you and I'm not sorry." She winked and then quickly escaped, scurrying off to the bedroom.

"Squirt, we're going to…wash up. Sit tight." Jay instructed, quickly moving the little girl from the counter to the couch before dashing off to the bedroom after his girlfriend.

"You look absolutely disgusting right now," Erin teased as she whipped off the sugar-covered t shirt she was wearing, flinging it onto the floor.

"Not as good as you." Jay pulled off his shirt as Erin pinned him against the shower door. "What about Kate?" he breathed as her lips made contact with his neck.

"We'll be quiet." Erin hissed before shutting the bathroom door.

After practically licking each other clean and then taking a soapy shower, Jay and Erin lay entwined in their towels on their bed. "Wow." Jay grinned, running his hand over her wet hair, "We haven't been able to do that in a few days."

Erin smiled and turned her head. "Does it smell…funny?" she asked, sitting up and wrapping herself in a towel.

Jay did the same. "It smells like…burned cookies." They exchanged glances and jumped up, racing into the kitchen.

The cookies were burned, and Kate was asleep on the couch where Jay had left her. "Oh man." Erin put on her hot hands and grabbed the burned cookies out of the oven.

"They're still…good, I guess." Jay poked one of them with a fork. "This is what happens when Erin Lindsay uses the oven."

"Hey!" Erin squawked indignantly, "The burned cookies are not my fault."

"No? Who was going to take them out of the oven? The four year old?" Jay smiled mischievously.

"She must have fallen asleep." Erin adjusted her towel. "Kate?" she tapped the little girl's shoulder gently, "Sorry about that baby."

Kate opened her eyes and looked up at her towel-clad parents with a concerned expression on her little face. "Mommy? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine sweetheart." Erin glanced at her partner and back to her little girl. "Are you?"

Kate nodded, rubbing her eyes lazily. "Are you guys in a fight?"

Jay shook his head and raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Oh, no, we were just playing," he tried to explain, "Mommy and I were just having some fun."

"Then why was Mommy shouting at you in there?" Kate asked innocently, "Why were you yelling?"

"Oh, I just wanted him to hurry up in the shower. That's all," Erin covered, "I was soaked in raw egg but Daddy was being a shower hog." She paused, Kate seeming to accept her excuse, "Does your tummy hurt?"

"A little." Kate wrinkled her nose at the smell that had circulated around the apartment. "I think the cookies got burned."

"We can make some more." Jay assured her, "After Mommy and I get dressed."

Kate nodded in agreement. "You should probably put some clothes on if we're going to bake again," she told her parents seriously, "That way you don't have to shower, you can just take your dirty clothes off."

"Why are you so smart?" Jay asked before following Erin into the bedroom, "Be right back, okay?"

"Jay." Erin said sternly as she tied her wet hair back in a bun. "That cannot happen again."

"The mess in the kitchen or the sex?" Jay grinned devilishly, pulling on a pair of boxer shorts, discarding his towel.

"Both!" Erin exploded, slipping one of Jay's oversized t shirts over her head, "We cannot have sex while Kate is awake!"

"You started it." Jay defended himself and crossed his arms over his bare chest. "You flicked flour at me and pinned me up against the shower door."

Erin rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I didn't know she could hear us."

"So you admit it was your fault?" Jay taunted, "Your fault, not mine?"

"No, I just said I didn't know she could hear us." Erin's voice raised. "Stop acting like a child!"

"I am not the one being childish in this situation." Jay's voice raised also, the teasing lilt frustrating his partner to no end. He knew that his girl loved to be right, and today he did not want to give her the satisfaction.

"Daddy? Mommy?" a small voice came from the living room.

"And to think, all I wanted was sex." Erin faked a pout. "Are you okay baby?" she asked, doing a quick once over of the little girl to be sure she wasn't in a dire situation.

"Why do you and Daddy keep shouting?" Kate looked scared.

"We're just kidding." Jay said, taking Erin by the waist and giving her a big kiss. "See?"

"We were just being silly." Erin reassured the little girl, giving Jay a poke in the ribs for good measure, "You don't need to worry, okay sweetheart?"

Kate nodded uncertainly and glanced down at the messy floor. "Do you want to start a movie and think about what you want for dinner? Mommy and I have to clean this place up." Jay grimaced at the work they had cut out for them. The little girl nodded again and curled up on the couch. She didn't even turn the TV on before she fell asleep.

Erin and Jay enjoyed pizza out of the box while Kate stayed asleep. "We really should try to keep her awake," Jay said, his voice muffled by the pizza he was chewing, "According to Will, her body should get used to the medication and it won't make her so tired if we try to keep her awake."

"I don't know, that seems mean," Erin shook her head, "But anyway, it's your turn to be the bad guy." She took a sip of her beer and raised her eyebrows at her partner.

Jay gave her a pointed look. "Hey, you had baking cookies in your back pocket. I got nothing."

Erin smirked and made no moves. Jay sighed and got up from the table. "Squirt, sweetheart, it's time for dinner." he said softly, gently shaking her shoulder.

"Daddy, my tummy hurts again." Kate complained as she opened her eyes.

"That's because you were supposed to take your medicine an hour ago." Jay scooped her up and carried her to the kitchen. He settled down in his chair with her on his lap.

"Still sleepy, huh, babes?" Erin looked at her daughter sympathetically.

"I don't want to take them." Kate said as Jay placed the cocktail of meds in front of her.

"They'll make your tummy hurt less." Jay told her, also putting a cup of apple juice on the table.

"But they make me so sleepy." Kate rested her head against her father's chest. "I don't like being sleepy all the time."

"I know. But in a few weeks time, you'll be as good as new, and you won't have to take the pills anymore." Jay gently stroked her hair.

"The bottle says I have to take them until March. And that's in four months." Kate looked at her mother with big eyes. Jay drew in a breath, forgetting that his brilliant little girl could actually read.

"I'm sorry baby." Erin shook her head. "But you have to take them, otherwise you might have to go back to the hospital again. And you don't want to still be sleepy but be stuck in that uncomfortable bed all day, right?"

Kate understood she wasn't going to make her parents change their mind. "Okay," she said reluctantly, and swallowed each of the pills.

"Can you eat some pizza for us?" Jay lifted a slice up to her mouth. "You haven't eaten since noon and that was just a banana."

"I'm not hungry." Kate murmured and lifelessly pushed Jay's hand away. "The medicine makes my tummy feel funny."

"Oh, baby." Erin's heart broke for her daughter. From examining the multiple bottles, she knew the cocktail of medication contained at least one with nausea as a side effect. However, nausea was better than pain. "I'm sorry, but until your stomach is healed you're going to have to take the medicine."

Kate's lips turned down, defeated. "So if I don't take the medicine, I'll hurt, and if I do, I'll feel sick?"

"That just about sums it up." Jay lifted the slice of pizza again. "If you get sick, no worries. Mommy and I will deal with that. But we can't have you in serious pain without taking you to the hospital."

Kate groaned. She took a bite and rested her head again. "Can you take a few more bites, please?" Erin asked, lifting the slice of pizza toward her daughter.

Kate did as she was told, finishing about half her slice. Her eyes began to close again as Jay and Erin finished their beers. "Let's get you in bed before you fall asleep again, okay?" Jay stood up, carrying Kate to her bedroom.

"She has to brush her teeth!" Erin called as she collected the empty bottles and half eaten pizza.