Third time's the charm

Masie waits in silence for the car to get to the bus stop, wrinkling her nose as the fumes reach her nose. Vile, Masie thought, absolutely vile. But it got her to the bus stop, so she can't be fully mad. Pop. Pop. The sounds of gravel under the car rouses Masie from her thoughts, as her dad pulls into the little corner where 3 other kids are waiting for the bus as well. "Good luck." Her dad says, his voice clear. "Mhm, thanks. Love you." Masie says hastily before opening the car door and jumping out onto the gravel, backpack in tow. Shutting the door behind her, the car promptly drives away, leaving her to herself... and the other people. Walking forward, Masie doesn't hesitate to start a conversation. "Hey! What time did you wake up?" Masie asks to a random boy, her voice not as raspy as this morning. The kid turns his head, focusing on Masie more. "Oh, hi.. 4:30." He answers, a piece of uneasiness still stirring in his stomach from his lack of sleep. "Do you... feel okay?" Masie asks, biting the inside of her cheek as she waits for an answer. Masie was always good at noticing details, especially weariness. 'It's sort of stupid for me to be asking this, after all, it's not like I don't deprive myself of sleep.' Masie's internal voice grumbles low and softly, leaving no room to escape. The kid just nods his head slowly to her previous question, and turns his head back to the large yet thin hill, which the bus is now coming down from. Waiting for it to reach them, Masie re-grabs the top of her backpack, holding it off her shoulder a couple seconds so she can re-adjust it. Sliding it on one shoulder again, the pressure from just one shoulder strap of the backpack makes her want to throw it away. How can something that's meant for teenagers and kids be so hard on their shoulders? Clicking her tongue, the bus finally reaches them, the gravel that made it's way onto the road tumbling off, back at their bus stop. Walking forward, Masie gets right to the center of the still-opening bus doors and steps in quickly, her feet quickly moving up the 3 large steps and into the bus aisle, waving to the bus driver who doesn't even glance at Masie. Looking around, her eyes focus on one of her close friends. Sitting down in the seat next to her friend, then swinging her backpack onto her lap, she leans back and waits for her to say anything. "Abby?" Masie asks gently, her arm gently pats Abby's with a gentle reassurance that meant 'If I did anything, I'm sorry.' Why was Masie even doing this? Why. 'You didn't do anything, Masie, right? Even saying a curse word is equivalent to slapping someone at home. What did you do, Masie?' Masie's internal thoughts rumble on and on, filling up every last thought of hope. Abby's lips crinkle up as we reach another bus stop, where another random girl is waiting. Noticing the girl getting on and walking towards us, Masie hastily stands up, and walks back. It could be a 3 person seat, but then it's uncomfortable. Walking to the back of the bus and sitting down in a spare seat, the empty-but-now-occupied seat with a couple rain drops leaking in from the window stuck open next to it, Masie can't help but grimace a bit at the sight. Sighing but complying to the lowly option, Masie relaxes as she sits down and swings her backpack on her lap in a tired fashion. The sound of the trees is the wind make her furrow her brows, the bus speeding up to get over the monster of a 'hill'. The bus was quiet except for a tiny bit of talking- the tiniest bit. But Masie does recognize who it was, after all, who wouldn't know their friends voice? Abby and the girl giggle and keep talking, their voice gradually going from whispers to normal talking and real, honest laughing. Pshh... the bus doors open again, another person gets on the bus, the sound of their shoes clanging on the floor calm Masie a little, but not fully. Maybe she would always have a piece of hate. Maybe it was at herself and not her friends. 'Snap out of it!' Blinking rapidly, she grumpy obliges to her own internal dialogue that she made herself. The doors open and close at each bus stop, each time, my ideas of ever being happy again fall into an abyss. Masie has always been a hopeless romantic, even the prospect of being able to be in the arms of someone made her smile like a kid on Christmas day. But there was a massive flaw in her way of thinking. She could easily be influenced and manipulated, after all, she can't bear saying no to her friends unless It's an actual danger to her physically. It felt like she would let everyone down, and eventually, there's be nothing to even mourn over. But she knew she's still be mourning. It was just how fate had always been for her. So, her mission was this: stop cursing, stop doing anything rude, apologize too much if you do anything possibly rude, be extra aware of every situation in which people are angry, more, more. It was like she was stuck in a cage. It was an endless fairytale of a girl who started off good, and it got worse and worse, and even when she gets the bad ending she can't escape or even find a glimpse of hope. So she sat on the bus and waits, talks, asks questions, strives to get good grades and smiles. Because what is there to be sad about if your fate is already lied out to you and you can't push it away? At least to Masie is was, but to others, maybe it looked a bit nicer. Psh... the bus doors open for one last time as Masie goes over her life, and the highschoolers and her all stand up in the aisle, the bottom of their shoes sounding like a loud screech. Groans and grunts can be heard escaping from their mouths as they climb off the bus with what feels like 30 pound backpacks. Masie jumps off the last step of the bus, landing on the concrete of the bus look and walking to the bus huddled by the curve for the highschoolers to get on. Her old middle school is in her peripheral vision, the old walls still the same as when she went there. Making it to the line of highschoolers, girls snicker and laugh, boys joke but smile, all talking. Masie waits at the end of the line as more highschoolers come from other buses, making Masie look lucky for being so close to the bus doors with the now long line still accumulating students over and over. Eventually, she gets on the bus and sits in a sit, her fleece jacket shielding her from the cold air, now sitting at a window stuck open right by my head.

School definitely wasn't easy, with the challenges it pushes you to finish. Masie's stomach clenches and unclenches as she walks through the front door of the high school, and she clutches the jacket tightly around her body as if to kill the circulation so pain would just go away. 'No, Masie, this is not how this works. Get used to it.' Her inner voice echoes to her. Letting go of the jacket, her now sweaty palm hangs at her side as the sounds of shoes and students bustling around the school fills her hearing. Room... 35 was it? Right. Masie walks stiffly to room 35, entering it. Though it was already the second week of school, she was still not used to so much people... and drama. She loved it, yes, but for some reason every ounce of her confidence seems to get obliterated once drama is mentioned right by me, or a large crows is apparent. Swallowing hard, Masie goes to her assigned seat and waits for more people to file into the classroom. The teacher was gone from the room. Probably helping students. After a while, another girl walks in, her dark hair trails behind her and falls on her shoulders and back as she walks over and sits down at the desk behind Masie. Poke. Masie turns around to face the girl, forcing a tired smile. "Oh, hi. Do you need help?" Masie asks, memorizing the girls face for future reference. The girl giggles, "Hm.. yeah, do you know where I can find the notes for class? Are they in the back?" She says while nodding her head, smiling sweetly. Masie thinks for a couple seconds before nodding her head. "Yeah, please follow me. I'll show you right to the notes." Masie says, walking to the storage bin in the back, pulling out some printed notes and flipping through them. September 8th... 16th... 25th! "Here." Masie says, smiling widely and handing the paper to the girl. "Thanks, you don't even know how much my grades depended on this. In fact, this is third time trying to even get notes. It's so sad how they don't make any of them available to most classes. Guess the third time's the charm! Sarah's the name." She says, tilting her head forward and then straightening back up again and walking back to her desk. Masie turns her attention back to the storage bin, and then she walks back to her desk to sit down. The bell rings, and all the other students come into the classroom in a hurry, but sighs of relief come when they see the teacher isn't there. Masie rolls her eyes, looking away from the crowd and grabbing her book from her bag, starting to read to make up for the lost time of the instructor.