Don't worry about it

All he could see was darkness, a deep, expansive, endless darkness surrounding him from everywhere.

He felt cold, he felt alone, he felt at peace.

He never needed anyone, he never cared for anyone, he only ever had mild amusements in his life, there was nothing that ever truly mattered. Nothing truly mattered.

He's lived for what seemed like an eternity, living with an ever-burning desire for something new, something to make him feel, to make him care, he thought he found it with Rebekah, and while he did care, it wasn't enough, not nearly enough.

For someone who's lived so long, something so new couldn't hope to scratch the surface and leave a mark on his heart.

He didn't even know if he ever had a heart, sure there was one in his chest that endlessly beat, but it might as well have been dead.

Drifting in the abyss for what seemed like forever without any point of reference for time, he had plenty to think without any distractions. What did he want? Was he happy or sad? Was he fine staying here and evaporating into nothingness or was there something more, something else he wanted?

He had so many self-reflecting questions, but he still found it so very hard to care, to care even enough to keep thinking about such things.

After resting his mind, drifting in and out of consciousness for who knows how long, he finally decided to try something new.

He brought up his memories of old, the ones where he could still recall feeling something. He tried to recall the last time he was happy, truly happy... And he couldn't, there were no such times.

Sure there were things he enjoyed, but nothing that truly made him happy.

He realized the only reason he lived for so long was that he was ultimately controlled by his animal instincts, making him incapable of allowing himself to die even if he wanted to.

And now, now what was keeping him going, here in this dark abyss, where he still found himself holding on despite the feeling that if he just let go and completely relaxed he would forever be at rest.

And then it hit him, his glowing orange wolf eyes shot open as he lifted his head to howl, his animal side once again washing over him. The instinct to live was dead, but the alpha in him wouldn't allow him to stay dead, why should others be allowed to live if he had to die.

Everyone else should die first, he was an alpha, he was the strongest, the best, only the weak should die, and he was not weak!

Back in the real world, in the massive hole where New Orleans used to be, just after the blast that changed the world. A small spark of orange lightning went off, and then another, and another, as a mass of flesh began to appear, growing bigger and bigger, until a nude Nevan reformed back into his Noblesse form.

Nevan noticed his Noblesse form was a bit different from before, still the same look with his face, chest, and abs clear of any wolf hair, but now has a wolf tail and black wolf fur covering the rest of his body.

(Again you can look up Noblesse werewolves to get an idea, but also like Super Saiyan 4 look, wolf version.)

Nevan gave himself a once over, wagging his tail a bit.- "I feel better than ever and much closer to my wolf side again, I was worried I would lose touch with it when I evolved into this."

He then reflected on his death-like experience,- "First time I lost my body, and strange as it was, I didn't think I could willing die if I wanted, then again my instincts still prevented me from passing on in the end... I do miss Rebekah, and how could I almost forget she's pregnant, I'm going to be a father soon... I guess it was good that the only real way to kill me is by first eliminating all werewolves and then me, but no one knows that and will never know that."

Looking around at the destruction he continued to talk to himself,- "I definitely overdid it, hell I even took myself out, talk about sad, but in my defense, I've never fought with these new powers to their full potential before."

Nevan then tried to will his clothes around himself but nothing happened. It took a moment before he yelled- "FUCK ME!" Realizing that in wiping himself out, he also destroyed his one of a kind clothing, he wasn't even sure he could find Freda again after she ran away.

"I wonder if Rebekah will let me have her's..." But quickly shook the thought away knowing she would rather die than let him take it.

He then flew to where he sensed Rebekah, suddenly missing her far more than he thought as he continued to think of her and their soon to be child.

Sighing to himself, wondering why life was so complicated, he really hated having emotions, so hard to control, constantly going back and forth on what he wanted or didn't want, made so much worst now that he embraced his humanity, it was better as just a wolf.

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Author thoughts -

Whelp I finally decided to continue the story from time to time. I started it off crappy so you all would be prepared for more of the same because I still don't know what to do with it, please lower your expectations, even lower then they are now, and then you'll be just about right.

I agree that the ending I had wasn't the best. It wasn't the ending I originally planned so here goes a second shot at trying to finish this.

I know I really need to work on my pacing, my stories feel way too slow and seem to take forever which is twice as bad cause I put out slow updates, sorry about that, but between the health issues and the fact that there are just too few people who care, it's the best you're going to get.