Chapter 33

"Thank you, officer." Seeley said flatly as the officer stepped away.

"Of course, sir." He said.

Seeley's eyes were completely burning me in fury while I hugged myself and turned my head away.

"Are you ready to go?"

I'd rather close back the cell on myself and listen to Braith's stories all night.

"Yes." I said and walked past him without looking at him. Seeley sighed but followed me out to the dark city.

"Would you like to enlighten me about what happened?" He asked following me to the empty parking lot.

I stopped walking and turned on my heels in an angry way.

"I don't think that's your problem."

Seeley rubbed his forehead and glanced down at me. He seemed exhausted and disappointed.

"Why are you being so difficult?" He asked. "Can't you see that I'm trying?"

I crossed my arms.

"Trying to piss me off?" I asked. "Because take a guess, you succeeded."

Seeley has already had enough but I wasn't going to stop. He had the right to be a smart ass with me earlier?

Then it was my turn now.

"I didn't know that you were this problematic." He admitted and I felt like someone just kicked me in the stomach.

Who was he to say something like that? And where was the Seeley who wished I could spend the night with him? He was adorable and almost unresistable.

It felt like a completely different person was standing in front of me.

"Problematic?" I asked. "Why? Because I got arrested?"

"This shouldn't have happened."

"He deserved it!" I spread my arms. "If you think I'm just going to sit around and let people eye me like I was their next one-night stand then you're wrong."

"I'm only saying that violence is not the answer." He said as his eyes softened. "I totally understand that he was a jerk but people like him do exist unfortunately and you can't go around and keep punching people."

I hated that he was right. But his reasoning also annoyed me because I had thought that I didn't need to hear my mother's lecture about this and now Seeley was here to replace her.

"Says the one with the short temperature." I scoffed. There was no way I'd ever let him know that he was right.

Seeley sighed and waited until I looked into his eyes again.

"Don't take me as a role model." He joked. "I'm too horrible for that."

I couldn't hold back the smile that turned the corner of my lips upwards. A part of me, even though I didn't want to admit, liked that he was here for me.

Stop it, Heddy. Don't give in just like that. Have some manners and self-respect.

Leigh's happy and excited face appeared in front of my eyes and I felt a lump growing in my throat.

Seeley noticed my frown right away.

"What's wrong?"

I knew that it wasn't fair to keep an information for myself. I had to tell him so that we could lay out all of our cards now.

"I don't think we should continue… this." I waved my hand between us and now it was his turn to frown.

He slighty turned his head while he tried to solve me like I was some kind of mystery.

"Why?" He asked, his voice soft and confused. "Is it because you don't find me attractive anymore?"

He could he think of that? Only if he knew how mesmerizing his looks were.

"No, it's nothing like that."

He furrowed his eyebrows as he kept studying me with intense eyes.

"You can tell if you find me disgusting," He continued, not believing me. "I mean, it wouldn't be great but I'd accept it."

I just wanted to hug him to make him stop talking.

"You don't need to be worrying about that." I shook my head. "You look just as fine as you always did."

Amusement sparkled in his eyes as a grin slowly made it to his face, his dimples appearing that I loved so much.

"As I always did?"

I felt my cheeks burn and I dropped my gaze, not daring to look into his eyes.

"You were always handsome." I admitted shamefully that I found him attractive years before now. "It's not my concern that you weren't my type."

He raised his eyebrows while his grin deepened even more now.

"But I'm your type now?" He asked and my cheeks flushed.

"I won't kick you out of my bed, that's for certain."

Seeley scoffed with an honest smile on his face and kicked a rock to the side.

"I can't be that horrible then."

"No," I agreed. "You are not."

Seeley took a deep breath in and took a careful step toward me. I let my eyes follow his slow movements as he started to think about something.

"Why don't you want to continue this?"

I sighed and looked away for a brief moment. I didn't know why but I had a weird feeling in my stomach that Leigh was still around.

Which she couldn't be since they were probably at home. She couldn't hear or sea us, I had to keep remind myself of that.

"Because it wouldn't be fair…"

"To you or to me?" He asked, jumping into conclusions in no time. "Heds, we agreed to do this. Both of us have, we know what to expect or not expect from the other—"

"Because Leigh has feelings for you." I blurt out sadly. Both because this confessio of Leigh made me feel jarred and because it kind of affected our relationship.

Seeley's face twisted in confusion.

"What?" He asked, still unsure if he heard me correctly. "Leigh?"

I bit into my lower lip and nodded.

"Yes, her."

Seeley rubbed the back of his neck while trying to see among the details.

"That girl named Leigh who is your best friend?" He asked just to be correct. I nodded and he continued. "Who also came here with us for the summer?"

"Even if you ask me in hundreds different types of way, I'll still say yes." I nodded again.

The more time passed on us, the more conflicted he became.

"So, you're telling me that you want to cut me off because Leigh likes me?" Seeley asked and I started to pick at my fingernails in a nervous way.

"Yes." I admitted even though I didn't want to.

Seeley's face turned more and more serious as my answer kept floating between us like a warning alarm.

"That's ridiculous." He finally said and my eyes widened.

"What did you say?"

Seeley leaned on his other leg while a determined and cold expression took over his features.

"You heard me. That's just plain down ridiculous."

I still didn't want to believe what I'd just heard from him. I expected him to be a little empathetic about this.

"It's not. We are talking about my best friend's feelings right now!"

Seeley gave me an exhausted look while pressing his lips into a thin line.

"Aren't you tired already?"

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Tired of what?"

"Always doing what is the best for others and not valuing yourself."

I felt the color drain from my face because that was not how I've seen myself. I thought that I was a good friend for trying to end things with Seeley immediately after I'd found out about Leigh's feelings for him.

It wasn't that I didn't value myself. I just didn't want to be that kind of person who would ruin her friendship for some guy.

I crossed my arms and sniffed.

"That's not what I'm doing."

"Then what are you doing?" He asked leaning closer. "You're backing out to give your place to your best friend instead of just standing up for yourself."

"Since no one, especially Leigh, knows about us, I don't think I need to stand up for myself for anything." I fired back. "This thing between us is just physical, nothing serious. And specifically nothing that I should break my friendship with someone."

He slowly tilted his head to the side while studying me with intense eyes. There were so many thoughts in his head I could tell but I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear all of them.

I tried to stay true to my words. No matter how close I eventually would get to Seeley, it will never be worth it to ruin my friendship like that.

Because I knew Leigh.

And I knew that she'd break down if she found out that while giving advices to her to win someone's heart, I was sleeping with that particularly someone.

That was not something I had ever expected from having a pure physical relationship with Seeley. Even though it was just for our satisfaction, it still sounded horrible.

"So, you're just tossing me around like a fish among cats?" He said and I just blinked.

"No, that's not what I meant."

He hissed and tilted his head from one side to another.

"I think you did."

"Seeley—"

"Heds, I really appreciate that you want the best for your best friend but it's my decision since I am the target here." He pointed at his chest. "It's not your decision."

I couldn't even argue with that. Because he was a person too who had his own thoughts and decisions.

"I'll talk to Leigh if she decides to open up to me but you shouldn't push me away for some simple crush." He glared at me.

I knew he was disappointed in me that I would back out that easily.

I just didn't want to hurt my best friend, was that such a bad thing?

"I wouldn't ask her out anyway, she has always been too uptight and judgemental." Seeley continued.

"She'd hate me for that." I was chowing on my lower lip.

Seeley's eyes softened as he rubbed my arm smoothly.

"Just because you like someone, doesn't mean that you own them anything." Seeley said, his words ringing in my ears.

I didn't say anything, I just got lost in his green eyes.

"Just because someone likes me I'm not supposed to live my life the way I want to?" He asked. "I know that you don't want to come off as selfish but things happened way before she even considered liking me."

He was right.

But that didn't mean that the guilt hasn't been eating me since that dinner.