Chapter 13

The boys found a card left behind by their father.

'I'm watching you all,' the card said. 'I'll be back for the baby. If she's not pregnant, I'll visit again. If you call the police, I'll take her with me. I expect good news. Once she's had my baby, I'll leave you three alone.'

After helping to clean me and the bed up, the three of us huddled together in fear, sleeping the night away in Sihao's bed. We didn't dare to call the police, although Sihao did call his police detective friend for advice. In the morning, the first thing they did was get all the locks changed. The locksmith also helped comb the house for any surveillance equipment and took a few cameras and microphones away with him. Sihao took the day off work and we discussed what we should do.

I wanted to take a morning after pill, but the boys disagreed. If Mr Jun was watching us like he said, he'd be angry if he saw what was done. If he was angry, there was no telling what he might do. He might even kidnap me and kill me.

Why did the man have to fixate on me? He could easily find someone else to have a baby with. There must be millions of other fertile women in the world. What was special about me?

"Dad said you have good genes," Siming rubbed his nose when I asked. "He had your genes analysed and he said he remembered that you were not a weak or sickly child at the beginning. You were very smart and intelligent. He said it was because of neglect that your health hasn't been good and that you were clever enough to find ways to hide your intelligence from your family until they believed you were dumb like me. He's had his eye on you for years," Siming said.

"You probably don't know," Sihao stroked my back although I was still huddled in a ball, "but he used to often ask my mother or Siming to give you vitamins or supplements. He often asked Mum to call you over to play so that he could keep an eye on you and make sure you were getting fed or clothes to wear. He made sure you got the same tutoring with Siming and taught you both the same lessons. Do you remember?"

No wonder I had spent so much time in their family house growing up. There had been times where I had felt I was more a daughter of the Juns than my own parents.

And no wonder Mr Jun was so furious when I had repeatedly gone against him. He'd literally been grooming me and planning to have me marry into the family from the beginning. It hadn't been a spur of the moment thing.

"Do you remember that time you got beaten up really badly by your dad after you got a high distinction in a math competition and Yining only got a credit award for the same competition?" Sihao asked me.

"Yeah. I thought I was going to die. I don't know what happened after that," I nodded.

"It was Dad that arranged for Mum to bring you over until you recovered and told your dad off," Sihao said. "I remember that Siming cried by your bedside every night and you had a fever for a week before you got better. Dad often sat by your bed and held your hand, talking to you," Sihao patted my hand. "He was the one who suggested you hide your intelligence in the future and misbehave in a way that your parents would feel comforted by. He told you to copy Siming and behave both badly and obediently. He told you that if you agreed to everything and did as you were told all the time, people wouldn't hate you so much."

"He was the one who taught her the rules of a doormat?" Siming raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, pretty much," Sihao buried his face in my shoulder. "He also tried to make you fall in love with me and told you that when you grew up, you'd be my bride. I tried to avoid you after that. I wanted to have a say in my own life and not have it dictated to me."

"I thought I had made those rules up myself," I mumbled. "That old fart's been grooming me from the beginning. He even taught me to have a crush on you. I have to be grateful for him for helping take care of me, but at the same time… He's so manipulative."

"He was so excited and delighted after your physical exam last year and your parents agreed to give you to our family," Sihao said. "He danced with Mum in the lounge. Remember, Siming?"

"I thought he'd gone mad," Siming wrinkled his nose. "So that's why."

"Now that the locks have been changed and the surveillance equipment gone, he shouldn't be back or make a move for a while. We all know that all he wants is for Yina to have his baby and he won't give up until she does. So, Yina…"

"I get it," I muttered gloomily to my knees. "Let's hope I get pregnant this time around and that after he has the baby he wants, I never have to see him again."

"Let's hope that the baby is a boy then," Sihao wiped his forehead free of sweat, suddenly thinking of something and Siming raised his head with wide eyes as well. Both boys looked at me with both horror and worry in their eyes.

"What?" I tilted my head. "What's wrong?"

"Mum once said that she had to have at least two abortions before she had Sihao," Siming said, "because the babies were girls. And then between the two of us, there were five. After she had me, Mum secretly asked the doctors to ensure she couldn't get pregnant again."

"So even if I get pregnant, it won't be over until I give him a boy?" I looked at the ceiling and both boys hugged me hard. "Would he force me to get abortions or make me miscarry if it's a girl?"

"We don't know," Siming said.

"We really don't know," Sihao said.

"What if the child isn't his?" I asked. "What if it's yours?" I looked at Sihao. "After all, we've been pretty active up until now."

"I don't know," Sihao wiped the sweat pouring down his face as he worried about our future. "I'm so sorry, Yina. All I can tell you is not to worry about the money. I'll keep our family afloat. Go back to uni next year and study hard. You can get a job after that. Same with you, Siming. Work hard. The three of us will look after each other and we'll do our best to look after you, Yina."

It was a good thing that I had been rebellious enough to get a year off from uni rather than drop out, and that I had already told my teachers I wasn't going back for any classes this year, because four weeks later, I began exhibiting pregnancy symptoms.

"Take it away," I groaned at Siming, throwing up into the soup bowl that Sihao had shoved in front of me. "Open the windows. I can't stand the fish."

The boys tried feeding me beef and pork and chicken. I couldn't keep any of it down. I lost all that weight I'd been planning to lose one day just from the pregnancy symptoms.

I survived on chocolate, tofu and melons.

I couldn't watch television or sit in a car. I felt sick all the time. I got motion sick too easily. It was uncomfortable sitting or standing or lying down. It made the boys worry about me.

In the end, I ended up in hospital after fainting in the shops one day.

I was in there for three days, while the doctors and nurses kept me going with IV lines and told me not to be so emotional. My anxieties would make everything worse. It didn't help. They could try having a fugitive rapist watching over them wanting to kidnap me or the baby or both away.

And then one night, my fears came true. I was whisked away while I was asleep.

I was in a different room and hospital when I woke up. A reticent old lady fed me tonics and medicines and gave me a strict diet. She forced me to go for walks in the small courtyard garden and to perform gentle exercises. To my surprise, I could eat and keep down what she gave me. She taught me how to maintain my health. She refused to reveal her name and I ended up just calling her grandaunt. My weight returned and after a few months, my belly began to swell.

I missed the boys and wondered what they would be thinking. Whether they missed me. Would they be frantic with worry?

An ultrasound was taken and the radiographer congratulated me.

"It's a girl," she pointed at the image on the screen. My face fell. "What? What? What's wrong? Don't cry. Aren't girls good too?"

"I wouldn't be worried," I sniffled, "about the gender if this was a normal situation. If I were in a normal relationship and had been able to properly marry my husband, I'd have nothing to fear. This child's father though… I'm afraid he's going to be upset," I began sobbing. "He might not want her."

"Oh, my," the radiographer looked a bit at a loss for words.

There was a knock on the door and a nurse stuck her head in after the radiographer went to open the door.

"The child's father is here," the nurse said.

"Oh sure. Let him in," the radiographer said in a tense voice.

I froze upon hearing them speak. I hurriedly dried my face and blew my nose.

"Yina," said Mr Jun's voice, making me tremble. He boldly took my hand in his and I didn't dare look at him. I could only stare at the radiographer with a frightened expression. "Show me the baby," he demanded to the radiographer. "Is it a girl or a boy?"

"It's a girl," the radiographer said, finding the right spot and pointing out the shapes.

Mr Jun's hand tightened on mine.

"Can I keep this baby?" I whispered. "Please? Abortions are damaging to the body. What if I can't get pregnant again after? Let me have this baby. Ok? Please?"

There was a cold snort and I felt a cold gaze on me.

"Useless trash," he murmured and the radiographer looked startled.

"Sir, it's the man's sperm that determines the gender," she ventured and was glared into silence.

"Are you done?" Mr Jun demanded.

"Yes," the radiographer almost stammered, quickly wiping the gel off my abdomen. "D-don't abort the baby. The baby is innocent."

Mr Jun looked me up and down with a slightly curled lip.

"Fine. We'll keep this child," he spat out.

Before I had finished fixing my clothes, I was dragged out of the room. While we left, I saw the radiographer sign to me that she was making a phone call on my behalf.

Once I was back in my own room, Mr Jun stared at me intensely.

I didn't dare to move or fidget. I just stared at my hands in my lap, seeing how I had clenched them so tight that the skin was going white.

After a long moment, Mr Jun let out a heavy sigh. He reached out to tuck my hair behind my ear.

"We will have this child," Mr Jun said in a hard voice. "We don't know whether it is mine or whether it belongs to one of my sons," he said. "After it is born, we shall do a paternity test and send the child wherever it belongs. If it is truly mine, then I will keep it and raise it. You won't have to worry. I'll care for it well, unlike you were. The child will not lack for anything. I'll even allow you to visit once in a while. However, after the child is born, when you are well enough, you shall have another. When you are able to give me a son, I will let you go to return to my sons. You may then have children with them."

"How are they?" I whispered.