Haphazard [Part-16]

[Alright, let's try that again. This time, make sure to only use the amount of chakra you feel the most comfortable with.]-Matatabi

'Right.'

Sitting in a lotus position, Veronica focused her chakra into her eyes. Unlike the previous attempts this time, she could feel very comfortable and familiar with the amount of chakra she used.

Opening her eyes, she didn't think that what she saw could ever be real.

'Can you see this?'

[Yes... I'm seeing the images your mind is projecting. But it still seems quite faint to me. I can't sense them the way you do nor can I actually feel as though they are real. It feels closer to how a genjutsu would I suppose.]-Matatabi

Three blue flames could be seen floating in her room. She could even sense many other 'flames' till the outside of Kakashi's apartment. Each of them had a different shade of blue. Some were darker, some had a tint of green, some had a tint of pink or red and some even looked like gemstones.

She noticed how one of them had a stronger presence than the others.

It was crimson.

[I believe that the souls which are in a shade of red are either because they have killed too many or because they have too many regrets in the world of the living.]-Matatabi

'Ah...'

She picked the first soul to communicate with. She couldn't be talking to thin air (The others can't see the souls/ghosts) so she decided to 'pull' on them so they could enter her mindscape.

She picked the soul closest to her. She saw a middle aged woman who was dressed in ANBU clothing. Veronica decided that she did not want to associate with anyone could have been part of root so she decided to let this soul go.

[... You idiot. At least try to talk to them before suddenly cutting off your communication with them!]-Matatabi

'... Sh*t. Well let's try that again.'

She decided to take a risk and tried to communicate with the crimson soul. She could feel it pushing her away but she kept trying to pull it towards her. Instead of pulling it like before though, this time she was doing it gently. She knew that the soul wasn't going to come to her easily if she kept playing tug of war with it so she tried the gentle approach.

'It work-'

She looked at the person in her mindscape as she and Matatabi both gulped a bit.

He was Tobirama Senju.

'You know, maybe it wasn't such a bad guess this time.'

[Maybe.]-Matatabi

~Inside her mindscape~

Veronica and Matatabi settled down on the grass field as Tobirama tried to guess what was happening. He reached for his kunai instinctively but it wasn't there.

He knew that he had died.

He guessed that either he was in a dream like state or he had gone crazy.

The two tailed beast was sitting with a little girl in a grass field which stretched for miles, there was also some sort of building in the middle of it. Some parts of the building were heavily chained while some of the other windows and doors were completely opened.

He wondered how had this field even survived and not get destroyed in the war. Getting rid of the thought he looked at the two in front him.

"What is going on here?"-Tobirama

"Well, firstly, you are dead. My kekkai genkai allows me to connect with the dead."-Veronica

"I don't think that people are supposed to be that blunt about stuff like this."-Matatabi

Shrugging, Veronica focused on his reaction. She sighed thinking of how long this was going to take to explain the whole situation to him.

'Well, this could have gone a lot more worse than it is going now. The second hokage was known to be a genius. He has many jutsu up his sleeves and he has experience. I'll be able to train a lot better with him around as well. That is if he doesn't try to take over this body. Although I doubt he will.'

Veronica decided to let Matatabi explain what was happening and give Veronica an introduction as well.

~Back in the outside world~

Opening her eyes, Veronica realized how low in chakra she felt. She had just used her eyes and forced a soul to inhabit this body with her, albeit not fully. She hadn't even created a 'bond' yet.

She was worried at how much chakra she would require for her to do the other techniques of her kekkai genkai.

Sighing, she rubbed her eyes to hopefully reduce her sleepiness.

She was tired.

She was mentally exhausted even if she didn't show it to anyone. Physically, she was barely hanging on. And spiritually, she guessed she was already dead.

She heard the front door open and sighed once again, before putting on her mask. If anyone knew about her mask, she would break.

Her heart had barely healed.

It couldn't handle another blow.

But nobody will ever know. After all, nobody ever will bother to know what goes on under her smiles.

'No one will ever know...'

She walked downstairs and noticed Kakashi being more distant to her than usual. She immediately realized that her time was almost up. She would not be staying with this man she almost called a brother anymore.

'He's acting as though he won't see me again. Idiot.'

She ignored the voice in her head asking if she was okay with this. She ignored it asking if she was not sad at the thought of her not living with the silver haired Jonin.

They both ate dinner and pretended that their minds weren't stuck in an endless loop of depressing thoughts.

Sometimes she wondered if, maybe she would've tried harder before then she wouldn't need to suffer now. Maybe if she had just been more stronger then she wouldn't need to suffer now. Maybe if she wasn't a disappointment then she would still be happy with her family. She wouldn't even care about what happens to this world. After all, her world had been Lily and Haneul.

*Sometimes when I say 'I'm okay' I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, 'I know you're not'*