Chapter 356-1: Lolis Plot…ugh

I stopped my conversation with the stupid wizard and the idiot vampire to head to Miyu's school.

I didn't have to use space magic as Zelretch offered to drive me to the elementary school in town. Apparently he got some kind of sign that his disciples did something stupid, so he needed to go to school too.

"Hey Listen! Be careful, the dog is after more lolis!" – Navi, this is not the time…

"The hero is a lolicon?" – Merlin looked at me with surprise, but then he smiled understandingly… - "Oh, as expected of a modern Japanese man"

What?

Zelretch smiled strangely. – "As expected of the nation where the Mahou Shoujos arose, that is why there are so many stories where magical girls use the power of love to fight monsters with tentacles"

… What?

"Hey Listen! That's right, my dog is the final villain that will fill all the lolis with white magic hahahaha!" -... For God's sake, Navi, just shut up...

I'm mentally tired...

Zelretch, Merlin, and Navi kept spouting stupid things as we moved to the elementary school.

The amount of crap I heard in less than a minute was enough to make me wish for death...

So we got to the school and I went to the principal's office. I don't have much patience, so I used a bit of my hero presence to scare the principal so he wouldn't dare disobey me.

In this way, I had the principal call Miyu to the principal's office, as well as another little girl who was mentioned by Abby.

My chat with Merlin and Zelretch had lasted for several hours, so there was only an hour left of school, but I'm not in the mood to wait.

Another thing to mention is that, upon arriving at the school, Zelretch separated from us for a moment to find his disciples since they were both near the school and it seems that they caused a problem.

I have a feeling that the two female disciples are the cause of the problem with Miyu…

[Paranoia: 100% chance that it is, but there are traces of a strong path of destiny, so it is likely that this is all because of the main plot of this World]

How troublesome.

Merlin is now dressed in modern clothes to hide his legendary sorcerer identity, the only thing that stands out about him is his physical attractiveness, so some of the teachers couldn't stop staring at him.

Navi became invisible to normal people and is now chatting with Melin while we wait for Miyu to come to the principal's office.

"And that's how Mordred-chan was born… Yes, I admit that I made a mistake by not keeping an eye on Morgan, but well, that was a canon event and the Will of the World threatened to hit me if I prevented the destruction of Camelot, although to be honest, I didn't think to stop the fall of the kingdom since I started to get bored seeing Artoria-chan acting like a cold and proud cultivator" – Merlin nonchalantly drank tea while continuing to ruin my appreciation for literature and history.

I just found out that King Arthur is female and that he had a child with his sister because Merlin used magic to turn the King into a man overnight.

Navi said that I must follow the incestuous legend of the King of Camelot… Fucking asshole.

The original idea was for Arthur and Guinevere to produce a descendant, but Morgan drugged the king and extracted her sperm to create a homunculus with their blood. Thus was born Mordred, the villain who destroyed Camelot...

By the way, Mordred is also a woman...

When Umaru was a child, I read her the story of King Arthur, and I liked that story. The level of disappointment I'm feeling cannot be described in words.

Fucking Japanese authors, they make everything and everyone hypersexualized women…

"Hey Listen! You siscon dog, in your next bargain with the foolish woman make her give you King Arthur, her wife, her sister, and her daughter! You must have an orgy in front of the British Parliament to prove that you are the true king with your Excalibur!"

I decided to ignore Navi for the sake of my non-existent sanity.

Before Miyu arrived, the door opened and four people entered.

"Lu-ahem, Seiji, I'm bored, let's go play something" – Nyaruko entered nonchalantly while she ate one of the ice creams I made.

"…" – Aotian remained silent as he looked at Merlin. She is analyzing the strength of the wizard, but she stopped paying attention to it, noting that the wizard is not a threat.

"Senpai, your sister went to meet her friends, but don't worry, the group of useless is with her" – BB spoke without interest and sat next to me while taking out her cell phone to annoy people on the internet.

By the way, currently BB is disguised as Luis, although she doesn't emit Auriel's blessing, so the people of the supernatural world will know that she is not the true Hero of Harmony.

"Oh, the system user and the princess of the cultivators, what a pleasant surprise~" – Merlin recognized Nyaruko and Aotian, so his curiosity turned to BB since he knows I'm Luis, although he didn't ask any questions since he is not an idiot and knows that it is dangerous to delve into the secrets of someone who is much stronger.

"Eh?" – Nyaruko looked at Merlin and her eyes showed emotion, it seems that she likes that character. – "He is the Dickwizard!"

…I put my hand on my face.

Even with Paranoia I didn't think I'd hear something so stupid.

"Dickwizard?" – Merlin opened his eyes with a stupid happy face. - "That sounds good! No more Magus of Flowers, now I'll be the legendary Dickwizard!"

…

"Fou Fou (You are the legendary idiot)" – I share the thought of Beast IV.

During the conversation with the two idiots, I also paid attention to Beast IV.

From what I see, the seal Merlin put on the Beast caused Beast VII to temporarily lose its control over Beast IV, so the little animal isn't an enemy for now.

Another important aspect is that Beast IV does not hate humans and actually seems to like human society, especially food.

Another thing is that Beast IV has some of its memories sealed, so the little animal doesn't know that it is an apocalyptic beast designed to wipe out humans, the little animal thinks that it is a magical beast that Merlin subdued after a fight.

Merlin seems to know what the Beasts are and has information on Beast VII. He seems to be planning to make Beast IV learn to love humans and thus be willing to protect humans, and indeed, that plan is working.

Merlin made a casual comment that Beast IV is living in the human society alongside wizards, but he brought it with him to this city to help him investigate since Beast IV has good instincts to detect invisible enemies.

Something I have seen in the few hours watching the little animal, is that the instinctive hatred that the creature should feel towards humans was channeled towards Merlin, so Beast IV is no longer an enemy of humanity.

I insist, Merlin seems like an idiot, but he is very cunning...

By the way, the seal limits the language of Beast IV and he can only say the number 4 in English, but his diction is wrong and that's why the sound fou sounds. As a way of mocking, Merlin gave it that name, so now Beast IV is called Fou.

Ortro could see that Fou is a Beast just like her, so she's a little angry that Fou is now sitting on my head eating a cookie.

Fou doesn't know that I'm Beast V, but the blessings of the goddesses in my harem, my title [Alchemist of Life], my fake aura of Hero, and Auriel's blessing make me friendly to animals.

I sighed internally. – "Fou is like a pet and Ortro is a friend, they are two different things"

"Nn" – Ortro smiled feeling happy and kept chewing the heads of the idiots that made Umaru cry.

Fou is an asexual creature with no reproductive abilities, it have fluffy fur and not having the skill to take a humanoid form. It is the perfect pet.

My previous pet, Kon, stayed in my city as she finally managed to rebuild her daughters' souls. Now she and her daughters are living in the same temple where we met and later I will help her meet with Senko and Shiro since she wants to talk to her descendants, but that's a plot for later as long as the idiot author doesn't forget.

On the other hand, I am seriously thinking about killing Merlin to stay with Fou…

"Hmm? Why do I feel in danger? – Merlin stopped joking with Nyaruko and looked at the ceiling with confusion.

"We are all in danger" – I sighed with concern.

"Is the situation that bad?" - Aotian frowned.

I nodded. – "In a moment I will explain everything, but first there is another matter"

"Senpai only thinks about his cute loli" – BB smiled mockingly.

"Don't say it that way, she's my daughter" – I frowned.

BB's smirk grew. - "So Senpai will reject the feelings of the loli kuudere?"

"…" – As a show of maturity, I decided to ignore her.

"Heh, lolicon" – BB smirked.

Whatever.

The door opened again and Miyu finally appeared.

My daughter was very happy to see me, but she was also worried because normally I wouldn't interrupt her classes to talk to her, so something bad must have happened for me to be here. Now she's scared that she did something wrong and let me down.

This little girl with no self-esteem… It's hard to be a good father.

Miyu seems to be hiding a magical artifact. It's not that she did something wrong and feels guilty, but that she wants to give me some kind of surprise.

On the other hand, next to Miyu were four people; The old man Zelretch, the two disciples of the old man and one of the brats that appeared in Merlin's prophecy.

The two girls looked depressed as they stayed behind Zelretch. It seems that the old man scolded his disciples.

Zelretch made the girls enter the office, then closed the door and formed a magical barrier that covered the office to prevent spies.

The girl next to Miyu seems the most normal and doesn't know the supernatural world. She didn't understand what was happening and showed a little panic when she saw that the school principal was asleep in a corner of the office.

We're talking about supernatural matters, so I put the director to sleep. That's better than killing him for no reason.

The first person to speak was Zelretch. The old man sighed as he looked at me with a slight show of apology. – "My disciples have caused a small problem, I hope you can forgive them"

The two girls shuddered. They are both beautiful and match my tastes, but I can see that their stupidity levels surpass normal people.

One of the girls was a blonde who embodied the stereotype of a European spoiled rich girl. She pointed at the other girl as she yelled in outrage. – "It was not my fault, this idiot started arguing and made Sapphire angry!"

"That is not true!" – The other girl had black hair and embodied the stereotype of a Japanese spoiled rich girl. She pointed at the blonde and also yelled in outrage. – "This silly cow started saying stupid things and made Ruby leave!"

I think both are idiots.

"Silence!" – Zelretch sighed. – "Ruby, Sapphire, explain what happened"

Concealed on Miyu's back was a kind of small blue magical staff for girls.

"As Zelretch-sama can see, these two women don't stop fighting all day and that's totally unproductive, so nee-chan and I decided to look for new users to use our skills" – The magic staff spoke rationally and respectful

"That's how it is!" – A pink magic staff appeared behind the little girl along with Miyu. – "These two idiots are always arguing and wasting time! Worst of all, they're not cute, they're just a couple of useless airheads with too much pride! A Mahou Shoujo should be cute and adorable with a touch of loli-eroticism!"

…..Shit, Navi is multiplying…

"E-Eroticism?" – The little girl next to Miyu blushed.

She seems to be a normal and innocent little girl, although I can also see that there are various obscene thoughts in her mind.

Well, she's at the age where she starts to get interested in boys, so there must be someone she likes.

[Paranoia: Incestuous tendencies were detected in the loli. 100% chance that she has a big brother fetish]

Japan being Japan, nothing new.

"Well, certainly little girls are more suitable to be magical girls since they have more creativity to use unique magic…" – Zelretch seemed to accept that stupid explanation, then he looked at me with slight bitterness. – "Hero, as you can see it was all a misunderstanding and I hope you can forgive my foolish disciples for causing you trouble"

Zelretch acts like a happy-go-lucky grandfather, but the man is very observant and well-connected.

There are many idiots in the world who think that the Hero of Harmony is an idealist, but the people who saw my actions in China know that messing with me is suicide.

In the Lostbel, many magicians and cultivators used special techniques to film my actions in order to bring reports to their supernatural organizations.

Zelretch watched the videos where I murdered every single person who opposed me, even normal people. Also, the scene where I destroyed Buddha and then faced Doctor Madness was very striking.

The Hero of Harmony is known to be a possessive womanizer and I will kill any idiot who causes trouble for my women.

Although Miyu is my adopted daughter, Zelretch thinks that I am a pedophile and Miyu is part of my harem.

At this point, everything doesn't matter to me. Miyu and I are not related by blood and incest in a legal sense doesn't disgust me as much as incest by blood, so she will be part of my harem when she turns 16.

The two Zelretch disciples looked at me with confusion and didn't understand why the old man is so respectful to me.

They know of the existence of Heroes from other Worlds, but normally those Heroes live inconspicuously and are not too strong since their skills were suppressed by Contracts with Shiki.

In that sense, I was lucky that the Ichijo family had the legacy of the Ichijo ancestor. That helped me avoid a lot of paperwork and raise Shiki's suspicions.

The Ichijo family name is widely known in the supernatural world since they sealed Cthulhu away on Mount Fuji.

Additionally, the Hero of Harmony has built his own fame after the Lostbelt, but the mages are too proud and think my reputation is an exaggeration.

Only highly connected people like Zelretch know that my strength credits me as the strongest man on Gaia.

Seeing the situation, I can guess what happened, but I still spoke with a voice that showed my bad mood.

The reason why Zelretch is worried is that while his disciples didn't hurt Miyu, this was akin to putting a slave leash around my daughter's neck.

"Hero?" – The pink wand looked at me curiously, even though it doesn't have eyes. – "Oh, so you're a hero… Meh, you're not something special, with my help Illya-chan can kick your ass"

"Ruby!" – The little girl screamed in panic, she didn't want to get in trouble because she is a good girl.

I honestly don't care about this crap, but my wives have worrisome smiles.

"Courting Death!" – Aotian frowned and was about to destroy the magic wand and the little girl, but I gestured for her to stop.

I sighed wearily and focused my attention on Miyu. – "Miyu, you are a smart girl, so I don't understand why you accepted a contract with an unknown magical artifact"

My expression showed concern and seriousness, but I didn't show disappointment or anger as that would only hurt Miyu's heart.

Although the brat made a mistake, she did it because she wished for the power to help me. She knows that I lead a dangerous life and she sees herself as a useless burden, so her greatest desire is to be able to help me.

Miyu looked down guiltily and sadly. She couldn't speak before my serious look.

I sighed again and lightened my tone of voice. – "Miyu, you don't need to fight, your only responsibility is to be a good girl who studies at school and plays with your friends"

Miyu nodded feeling a little better, but she was still depressed.

The little girl next to Miyu looked at my daughter with concern, then clenched her small fists and looked at me with determination. – "Mr Ichijo, Miyu-chan is innocent, it's all my fault, I convinced her to agree to work with Ruby and Sapphire, she didn't want to, but I insisted"

In less than a day, this girl and Miyu seem to have become best friends...

Well, they were literally fated to be almost like sisters who fight shoulder to shoulder, but that fate will only lead to a horrible death...

I looked at the little girl and spoke with a bit of force similar to a strict father scolding his daughter. – "Are you Miyu's friend?"

The girl was nervous, but she showed more determination than most girls her age.

She did not hesitate to nod as she looked into my eyes without hesitation. – "M-My name is Illya… Illyasviel, but everyone calls me Illya… I-I'm Miyu-chan's friend"

She's scared and nervous, but she seems like the type of girl who would die for the sake of her friends. That is not a normal conviction in a little girl of her age...

It seems that she was influenced by her parents and because of that she is much more stubborn than a normal girl.

Mmm I see.

Now I understand the dynamic between Miyu and Illya.

Ciel and Paranoia collected the information in Illya's records and I now have a greater understanding of the plot surrounding us, plus I now know the purpose of the ritual.

Now I know what I need to do to lessen the risks of this World being destroyed and Miyu taking damage, but it will be a pain in the ass. A very fucking disgusting headache….

"Hey Listen! The dramatic music from the movie Jaws will sound, but lolimancer version!" – Navi appeared in front of us and surprised Illya.

It's the first time the girl has seen a fairy, so she looked at Navi with a lot of curiosity.

"Hey Listen! Silly little loli, start lubricating your little butt…!" – I quickly grabbed Navi and activated [Sadism]. – "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH BITCH OF FUCK! You're a fucking bitch who denies your own wishes, but it's only a matter of time before the loli shakes your magic staff MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH IT HURTS!"

"…" – Illya and Zelretch's disciples looked at Navi with a little fear.

The red lightning bolts generated by [Sadism] cause instinctive fear in most people as they are the visual representation of suffering.

I released Navi and kicked her aside, then looked at Illya. – "I see, so you are her friend…"

Illya swallowed fearfully, but she met my eyes without flinching. – "Y-Yes, she is my friend, today I wanted to invite her to eat at my house…"

I stood up and walked over to Illya.

I raised my hand and directed it to her small head.

The vampire's disciples closed their eyes as they thought that I am going to torture the brat and did not want to look.

Illya was terrified, but she didn't think to run. She is a faithful and stubborn friend.

On the other hand, the magic wand wanted to protect Illya, but a chain of purple energy entangled it so that it would stop saying stupid things.

"You're a good girl" – I spoke gently as my hand gently patted the girl's head.

"Gueeh?" – Illya made a strange sound of confusion, but she felt that the sensation of my hand on her head was very comfortable.

I don't have a special skill related to head pats, but my technique for pampering was honed by my daughters.

This technique is useful in women with tragic pasts, but it is also very effective with brats with family abandonment problems.

It seems that this brat has a parental abandonment problem, so my parental attitude had a huge effect on her heart…

Ah, this is going to be crap.

I removed my hand from Illya's head and smiled kindly. – "I am glad that Miyu has such a good friend, if you need something do not hesitate to ask"

Miyu looked at the way I smiled at Illya and was happy that I accepted her friendship with the little girl, but she also felt an unfamiliar feeling of bitterness in her chest seeing the kindness I'm showing towards a brat I just met.

Illya blinked a few times as she was confused by my change in attitude, but quickly smiled feeling happy that I'm not against her friendship with my daughter. - "Thank you very much Mr"

"Pfff, hahahaha! The loli treats you like a middle-aged loser when you're just a stupid teenager with motherly trauma hahahaha!" – Navi was still convulsing on the ground, but that didn't stop her from saying stupid things.

I sighed and stepped on Navi again while [Sadism] activated on my foot.

As Navi screamed in extreme pain, I started to speak. – "Zelretch, I am not angry with your disciples since Miyu made her own decision, but…"

I looked at Miyu and Illya who were staring at Navi. – "Brats, do you understand what you are getting into?"

Miyu was the first to nod. – "I want to be able to help father and for that I need power"

I sighed heavily. – "Miyu, that is not necessary, you are a girl and I am your father, my duty is to protect you and your duty is to make friends to play with"

Miyu clenched her small fists in front of her chest as she stubbornly stared at me. – "I want to protect father"

This is a fucking headache, but I can't deny that I want to smile. This brat is really like my daughters…

I shook my head, but I didn't insist anymore and let Miyu make his own decisions. Anyway, I already have plans for her and I know what I need to do with her to protect her… Ugh, this is a shit.

Now I focused my gaze on Illya. – "And do you understand what you are getting yourself into?"

Illya was about to nod, but I held up my hand to stop her.

"No, you don't understand" – I spoke seriously. – "Girl, I see that you are kind and I am glad that you are Miyu's friend, but you really do not understand what you are getting yourself into, this is more dangerous than you can imagine, in fact…"

I now looked at the old man's female disciples. – "You two don't understand either"

The black-haired girl frowned. – "Of course I understand, I know how dangerous the life of a magician is and I know that I can die if I make a single mistake, do not think that I am like these girls who do not know the dangers of the world"

The blonde girl snorted in disdain. – "Even if you are a very strong hero, do not think that you can treat me like a child, I am a prodigious magician and the pride of the Edelfelt family"

I see. When I found Miyu, her last name was Edelfelt in the records, so in the original plot she must have been adopted by the blonde girl.

I looked at Zelretch. – "The personalities of your disciples are… peculiar"

Zelretch smiled carefree. – "They are talented girls, although a bit silly"

Both girls were upset at being called a fool, but they did not dare to argue with the old man.

"Anyway, I have a question" – I looked seriously at the old man. – "I heard something about magic cards. What is happening?"

"This?" – Illya took a card from her pocket.

"You need to store the card better, it would be a disaster if you lose it" – The black-haired girl began to scold the brat.

"... I'm sorry..." – Illya looked down sadly.

This little girl is not made for a hostile environment, but at the same time, I can see her immense potential… Also, there is something interesting in her soul.

"Let me see that" – I extended my hand towards Illya.

The brat didn't wait for the black-haired girl's approval and put the card into my hand.

"Illya!" – The black-haired girl yelled angrily at how obedient the brat was.

I ignored the girl and a lollipop appeared in my hand to give to Illya. - "Good girl"

"Thank you" – Illya smiled and ate the lollipop without thinking about the possibility that I'm a pervert who put some drug in the candy.

Ah, I'll have to talk to this brat's parents. Illya is too innocent and naive, which is dangerous...

No, on second thought, that should be normal since on the surface this is a safe country, but her naive stupidity still annoys me.

I also gave Miyu a candy since she was jealous, though she didn't realize her own feelings.

Paranoia and Ciel quickly analyzed the card and I found what had caught my attention.

This thing is connected to the Throne of Heroes in an interesting way.

Some magicians can summon the Servants with Shiki's permission, but sometimes mistakes happen in the Throne and because of that some Servants are stolen, just like what happened in the Lostbel.

On the other hand, Servants are actually just cheap copies that possess a tiny fraction of the power of the true Heroic Spirit, plus it doesn't matter if the Servant is destroyed, corrupted, or kidnapped to another World, in the end it's just a bunch of data easily replicable.

Servants are normally worthless disposable clones, the really valuable thing is the actual Servants' bodies.

To give an example, the female Servants I obtained in China are the actual bodies. This means that my Servants are stronger and don't have any kind of restrictions, they can even travel to other Worlds and exercise all their abilities.

While this is helpful, this also means that they will die if their bodies are destroyed, which is a weakness.

When a foreign entity invades this World, Shiki normally sends waves of Servants against the enemy. Servant clones are constantly being killed, but Shiki is able to keep creating more and that is how she destroys the invaders.

It is somewhat similar to a hive of carnivorous ants attacking an elephant. Individually they are insignificant, but in large groups they can kill the huge mammal due to wear and tear.

In short, there are three methods of obtaining Servants: ritual to summon a temporary copy, Shiki's direct order, or stealing a real body.

To this has just been added a fourth method.

The card in my hand is the materialization of a Servant's power.

This doesn't mean that this thing is a Servant, but judging from the design, it was made so that mages can wield the power of Servants with their own bodies.

Additionally, Goddess of the System found traces of a possession ritual where it is possible to sacrifice a soul to create an artificial Servant.

These Servants won't be as strong as the real bodies of the Heroic Spirits, but they will be able to ignore all the limitations of the Throne of Heroes, making them useful slaves.

Seeing the features of the ritual hidden in the card, I have a rough idea of the plans of the person who made this card.

There's a bit of Zelretch's magic inside the card, but he didn't make this thing, someone figured out some of the old man's secrets and used them in the card.

All this is still within the standard of this World, but my title [Editor] found a plot error.