Chapter 1

What is family? It doesn't seem to be edible. Yan Mao yawned yet again at that thought while listening to the teacher's voice teaching history in a very monotone voice as always since the first day he's on his third and last year of high school. Winter break is coming and the weather started to get colder. Good thing is he was enrolled in a goodschool that has a good air conditioning it makes him want to sleep.

When the bell rang signaling that the morning lessons has ended, Yan Mao was the one who stood up first and walk out of the room without looking at anything or anyone, not even giving a glance at the teacher who has been feeling angry at Yan Mao the entire time. Yawning every ten minutes, not even looking up nor paying attention, his eyes as dead as a fish—clearly telling everyone how bored he was just by his action! The teacher would have scolded him if it's not for his outstanding score every test and despite his looks of boredom, once he was called he can clearly answer a question regarding the lesson! Every teacher has a grudge on him but they cannot find a single flaw on him! Only that…

The teacher said under his breath, "Acting so high and might, even though you're just an illegitimateson!" His remorse was showing. Some of the students inside the room gasped when they heard that. The teacher thought he was being discreet but the entire room was silent already so when he said that,it was louder than he thought it would be.

Yan Mao heard that as well and he stopped on his track for a second but continued again after as if he never heard anything. He was not mad or anything. It was the truth anyway. Getting mad because of such words, it will only exhaust him, why bother. Well, he doesn't know anymore if it really had no effect on him or those words just lost its effect for hearing it his entire life already. Basically, he was too numb to tell.

He went to a vending machine and got himself a warm black coffee in a can. As always his eyes are as dead as a fish when he sat on the bench beside the vending machine. He was still inside the school building on the first floor just at the corner where on his left is some potted plants and the vending machine and on his left is a floor to ceiling glass window. The double door of the building was just on his front where students are walking in and out of the building in groups, happily talking about what to do for winter break. Yan Mao just looked down at their feet going to and fro while opening his coffee.

He fished out some capsules and tablets from a small bottle on his pants' pocket put it all in his mouth and made a few gulps from his coffee can along with all those supplements, and then, he stares outside the window after—anillegitimate son, huh… Yan Mao remembered that teacher's words. Not that he's denying it, it's true, anyway. He was only able to study in such a good school, live in that castle-like mansion because he shares the same blood as his father. And it was only because his cheap father found him useful since he is smart. But, Yan Mao knows more than anyone that he is not smart, it's because of his photographic memory working. If not because of it; he can't even imagine where or how is living his life right now that is if he was able to live that long without his father's help. His mother?

When Yan Mao thought of his mother, his eyes only became deader—if that was even possible. When he was in middle school, he received hard slap from his mother when he found out that without his excellent memory, he is basically a worthless idiot.

"You don't even know that you were being deceived by that half-brotherof yours! Because of you, your father became cold to me! You, stupid! From now on, don't ever talk or even get close to anyone if you don't want to end up on the road with nothing to yourself but a hole in your brain! I can't believe how I thought I was raising a young dragon and then it was nothing but a worthless kid!"

What did he do to get so much hate from his own blood related mother? Nothing. He just happened to exist without even his consent. He just happened to be the son of his father with his mistress. He just happened to never understand these complicated thoughts, scheming smiles and deceptive "kind" words his half-brother said to him in order to frame him and his mother.

Even though Yan Mao wasn't able to understand others' emotion nor can he express his own feelings, he is just like any other kid who also wants to be liked by his elder brother and maybe hang out like real siblings should. He was deceived instead since, in reality, he's just a simple, innocent and clueless guy who wants some warmth in his heart that even his own mother can't give him. Hismom is someone who only focuses her attention to his father while he was only told not to lose to his older brother, which is the legitimate son.

His thoughts was interrupted when he felt his painful stomach that hasn't touched any food but water, coffee and those supplements for a few months now since that day his mother slapped him. No matter what he ate, he always threw it out as if his stomach refuses to do its job for him. He just gritted his teeth, held his stomach and endures the pain because it goes away after a while anyway.

When the class ended at four in the afternoon, the pain in his stomach finally went away, but his entire person exudes death just like how dull his eyes are. Thinking of going home to that mansion, seeing his mother, his father, the legal wife and the legitimate son of a half-brother of his… he doesn't want to go home. He waited at the front gate of the school for someone to fetch him but no one came and the sky is already getting dark. He doesn't dare to call home. The last time he did, it was blamed on him for a reason he doesn't understand.

"You also need to take care of yourself and not just rely on my husband's people," was what the legal wife said a cold tone. He surely cannot read others' emotion but a straightforward gloating expression she was making backthen while saying those words, Yan Mao cannot forget that even if he wants, too. That's definitely joy from seeing him miserable and also…hate. Hate, huh… Being hated, he's not surprised anymore.

He shook his head left and right to forget all those thoughts. There is only one thought left: I need to escape from here. Everywhere is fine as long as it's not anywhere near all of them.

He started walking with determined footsteps, not towards that mansion but opposite it but just as anyone's plan doesn't always go according to one, before he could make his fifth step, he felt dizzy and suddenly fell to the ground before his vision completely black out.

....

When he woke up, he was inside an unfamiliar room. He looked around the room and there seems to be nothing wrong in this modern designed room but still, he doesn't know where he is.

"Where am...…..I?" He pondered onthe voice he heard. It was definitely his voice but somehow it became a higher pitch just like when he was a little…younger. It's not that he has a particular deep or masculine voice but it shouldn't sound that high orthat childish as well for his age that supposed to be eighteen.

"What…is happening?" He felt a little shaken when he heard his own voice again, it's real. He was about to get up but saw the mirror up at the ceiling reflecting a boy with pale cream skin, with a short black curly hair that looks soft, shiny and bouncy, a rosy pink lips looking so shocked with his lively innocent hazel-colored eyes.

For the first time since he could remember, he was showing a human expression other than his dull and dead eyes. After a while he came to his senses and had black lines on his face which was also reflected on the mirror above. That's him?? Why does he look like a thirteen-years-old boy?! And what the hell is that photo filter-like face he has?? He doesn't remember having such a cute and refreshing kind of face!

Truthfully, if only he lessens thegloomy aura around him and tries to liven up his eyes, his appearance before was not very far from what he looks right now.