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New And Improved Harry Potter

When a wonky potion wipes Harry's memory, he turns into a sly and clever dude. Forget his old self – now he's all about outsmarting everyone and shaking things up. With his wits sharp, he's not playing by the rules anymore. Harry's newfound attitude shakes up the school as he refuses to be controlled. Expect plenty of foul language, a touch of character criticism, and loads of sci-fi nods. Harry's not just any wizard—he's a bit of a jerk. Get ready for a wild ride as Harry spins his own story, outthinking folks left and right.

Earthly_Writer · Book&Literature
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64 Chs

Prophecies and Projects

Harry's POV

"Hey, Neville, I just remembered something." Harry said, turning to the sandy-haired boy. He was going to let mind crew go over what to do about the Moody impostor. They'd think of something. "You know how I was telling you about my mum's diary? Well, there's a prophecy, and it pertains to both of us, so we'd better get started on that project."

"Really?" the shy boy asked, a bit fearfully. Being raised as a wizard he had a healthy dread of prophecies, which was one of the reasons he took Divination. Not that Trelawney was any good. He certainly didn't know if he liked the fact that he could be part of one. "What does it say?" he asked.

"Well, I don't know the exact wording, but something about only a boy who was born at the end of July could 'vanquish' Voldemort. It states that it is either the boy's life or the Dark Lord's," our hero said, rubbing his chin and ignoring the flinches. "There is a bit about being marked as an equal, which could mean my scar, so you may be in the clear. But, why take that chance?" He really didn't want the other boy to be caught unawares. He really didn't understand prophecies, but with Luna being a seer, he wasn't going to take the chance that it was bogus. While he got Neville up to speed on wandless magic, maybe he could help fortify his mind.

"Right, I'll study that book harder," Neville stated with a firm nod of his head, as he firmed his shoulders. He was determined to get that book read tonight. Maybe, if he did, they could start tomorrow. From what he skimmed of that book, he could go really far and then he wouldn't be such a wuss at magic. He was really glad he had Harry as a friend, because only a friend would lend out such a priceless artifact.

"Yeah, get back to me when you're done," the dark-haired teen stated as he bit into some scalloped potatoes. He had to admit the house elves really knew how to cook.

"Don't worry, Harry, I plan on finishing it tonight," the other teenager stated, then he too returned to his dinner.

"What book?" Hermione asked carefully. She really wasn't winning any good points with her friends today, and she didn't want to rock the boat any further.

"Just copy of a book on Magical Theory that I let him borrow," Harry lied, waving it off as unimportant. He took out the Wicca books that he read earlier and gave them to the bookworm to hold her over. Perhaps, it would slate her curiosity for now. "These are what I was studying today. I've done with these, so you can look at them. Maybe we can practice some of those rituals," he added with a wink and a wiggling of his eyebrows.

 Neville blushed when he saw one of the covers. Those were some very fit women.

 "Pervert," Luna giggled, seeing the scantily clad woman on the front of the first one.

"Teenager," Harry laughed. He loved their little byplay.

"Harry, some of these women are indecent," Hermione gasped, as she looked at the females praising the moon with only robes and bit of cloth to cover the essentials.

"All the right bits are covered," he disagreed with a frown. He didn't think they were offensive at all. To him they were visions of loveliness. They all had pretty decent clothes on in his opinion. Sure one to the books had women in open robes and nothing underneath, but like he said, all the right bits were covered. They rest of the books had women and men in Renaissance clothing, flowing gowns, cloth pants and tunics and such. He had no idea what was offending her.

"Fine, I'll look through them, but I don't see what could be so important about a minor Muggle religion," she said, glancing at the index.

"I got it mostly for the meditation techniques. The lady in the store said there were good ones in there that I hadn't tried. I'm trying to see if I can get my memories back with them," he added taking a sip of his juice. "Here Luna, here's one on aura reading. It might help clear your mind up a bit," he added, handing the book to his blonde friend. "Seriously, let two me know if you want to try anything," he said again with smirk as his mind went to thirteen sky clad females dancing in the moonlight. His eyes glazed over, until Luna hit him on the head.

 "Pervert," she said again with a huge grin on her face.

 "Guilty," he finally conceded. "Something was bugging me earlier and I was wondering if you guys had any insight," he waved at pure-bloods surrounding him, who all perked up. "I noticed there aren't a lot of overweight people here, at least not compared to the non-magical world, and was wondering why. It's not like there is an abundance of exercise. Except all those damn stairs." Which he really was tired of climbing. "That and look at all this fatty food," he added, indicating all the roasted meat, the gravies, the sauces, and the excess starches.

"That is a very intelligent observation," Luna commented, looking over the people around her. She never really thought of it. She knew she never gained any weight, and with her love of pudding she really should, but that could be a family trait. After all, both of her parents were willowy. Her mind was going over what she knew, making her less attentive to the rest of the conversation.

"Well, our mum is on the heavy side, but she doesn't get much exercise, what with keeping house all the time," Fred said, rubbing his chin. "That and she cooks enough to put a house elf to shame. We never want for food in our house."

"Now that I think about it, Dad's not the epitome of heath either," George stated, thinking over who else negated Harry's statement, like Professor Sprout, Minister Fudge, that toad of his, and Bagman.

"Do they use a lot of magic?" Harry asked tentatively, not wanting to offend.

"Mum uses quite a bit for chores," Fred said with a nod.

"Dad might use a lot in one day, but most days are slow," George stated.

"Oh, I never asked him, but what does he do?"

"Head of the Department of Misuse of Muggle Artifacts," they said proudly.

"I'm going to take that means what it sounds like," the messy-haired amnesiac said with a smile.

"I'm not one to ask," Neville lamented, bringing Harry's attention to him. He hated being pudgy. "I can say since I've been here my weight has dropped a bit, but I can't seem to get that last bit of baby fat off," he said with a frown. Yeah, he had a few body issues.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad, I was just wondering," our hero stated, keeping the rest of his theory to himself for now. He'd have to scan the other boy's magical use. Harry really wanted to help his new friend, and hoped it was his self-confidence that was holding him back.

 The shy boy waved it away. "It's alright, it's something I want to look into too," he said, now that he was thinking about it. If he could get rid of the fat, that would be awesome. It was another thing his gran always got on to him about. She'd point out how fit and strong her son had been, and how Neville wasn't measuring up.

.....

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