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New And Improved Harry Potter

When a wonky potion wipes Harry's memory, he turns into a sly and clever dude. Forget his old self – now he's all about outsmarting everyone and shaking things up. With his wits sharp, he's not playing by the rules anymore. Harry's newfound attitude shakes up the school as he refuses to be controlled. Expect plenty of foul language, a touch of character criticism, and loads of sci-fi nods. Harry's not just any wizard—he's a bit of a jerk. Get ready for a wild ride as Harry spins his own story, outthinking folks left and right.

Earthly_Writer · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
59 Chs

A Surprise

Monday came, and all his friends went to class. So Harry made his way to the Shrieking Shack. He went down the tunnel and past the wards, which reminded him the still needed to research those. He decided to scare his godfather, so he 'poofed' to the living room. The man in question startled so badly that he fell off the couch.

"What the hell was that? It wasn't Apparation, it doesn't make that 'Bampf' sound or have blue smoke," the dogman said when he realized it was Harry as he hauled himself up and dusted off his pants.

"It is my own form of travel," the teen said with a shrug. "I got it out of a comic book. I call it poofing," he added thoughtfully. He never heard what sound it made, so he was going to stick with 'poof'. He did note that he might want to get it to where there was no blue smoke or 'Bampf'. One couldn't sneak up on people if there was a sound and smoke.

'Put that in the databank, Mr. Spock, and see what can be done,' Picard ordered, making Harry's eye twitch again. He was still getting used to hearing his crew and was starting to think that he might be a bit peculiar. Still, it was awesome to have a mind that ran like his. He could hear what was going on and give suggestions when he needed something done.

"Can you teach me?" Sirius asked with a hopeful gleam in his eyes.

Harry thought about it, he was pretty sure you had to have a greater grasp on your magic than most wizards had. "Can you do magic without a wand?" he asked optimistically. He wouldn't mind teaching him. It would give him something to do.

"No, I can only turn into my Animagus form without one," was the sullen answer as Sirius's shoulders sunk in defeat.

"Perhaps that's enough, but you might need to get a better understanding of your core first," the messy-haired teen sighed. "I have a book that I can lend you, after a friend is done reading it, that might help," he offered, thinking about Merlin's book. He'd have to see if it helped the shy boy first. He hoped the older man wasn't too hard to teach but knowing that Black had learned magic since he was a baby, it was possible that he couldn't relearn how to do 'thought magic'.

"Well, alright," the older man said with a bit of a grumble. He thought he was through studying, but if it could let him do magic like Harry, well he'd give it a go. "What are your plans for today, pup?" he asked, changing the subject for now.

"Please, don't call me that," Harry whinged. He really didn't like pet names, unless it was from the lips of good looking birds, like Luna or Hermione. Or come to think of it, any of the females he had met so far could call him anything they wanted. If they kept it to how handsome and rebellious he was now.

"Why? It never bothered you before," a confused Sirius asked. He had always call Harry 'pup' or 'prongslet'. The kid never complained in the past, but then again, he hadn't called him that since he broke out of Azkaban, barring a few letters. Still Harry never wrote him that he disliked the name.

"It is too much like 'boy', and for some reason I loathe that moniker. I think it has something to do with my past, but I don't remember," was the explanation. Did all adults used derogatory pet names; my boy, idiot child, foolish boy, pup? They were all depictions of a small child, and the only type he had heard from an adult since he had been back. He was almost of age and a legal adult, dammit, and he needed these people to quit treating him like he was still a baby. Even the twins used Harrykins, which he didn't overly mind. Then again, what did it matter when he was planning on leaving as soon as he figured out what happened.

How the hell did his former self put up with all this bullshit? According to Hermione he never complained about the mistreatment from the student body during his first and second year. How could he keep shite like that to himself? He knew that if that happened to him now, he would have no problem telling the professors to do their damn job, or better yet, giving back as good as he got.

"Oh, I guess I can see that, so I'll try," Sirius promised with a sad nod. He was beginning to realize that he wasn't going to be able to pick up from where he left off all those years ago. This teen before him was independent and would not like to be coddled. That made him a bit melancholy, because he wanted to be the adult in the boy's life. However, now he could see that he was going to have to take the role of an adult friend or mentor. He berated himself for putting revenge over the safety of his godson. He missed so much of Harry's life, and now he may never know what happened in those years.

"Anyway, I'm going to London. Do you want to come with?" the teen asked as he stood, breaking Sirius from his morose thoughts.

"I'm still a wanted man," the fugitive pointed out, slumping his shoulders and remaining in his seat.

"That didn't stop you from sneaking into the castle and turning Snape into an Oompa Loompa," our hero snarled, still upset that the man was so foolish. Yeah it was funny, still it was a great risk. "You're lucky I figured out it was you and erected a ward around this place," he said, folding his arms and glaring at the unrepentant dogman. "I don't understand how you could be so fucking reckless. Didn't your time in Azkaban teach you anything?"

"Low blow, Harry," his godfather stated with sad puppy dog eyes. Then he perked up remembering how Snivellus looked. "Besides, it was funny. He looked great, all tall with orange skin and green hair. It really set off his huge nose," he laughed, until he saw that Harry didn't think so. He sobered and got a fierce look on his face. "Moreover, he needed to know that I am watching him. I'm positive that he had something to do with your condition." He too stood and the two stared at one another for about five minutes, until the older man sighed, seeing he wasn't going to win this one. "Okay, fine, I was irresponsible. I won't do it again," he promised. He really couldn't now that Snape knew his Animagus form. He just hoped the Potions Master was too embarrassed to let that tidbit out.

"Well, good," Harry said. Sirius should have left it to him. He had had plans to get the slimy man to talk, but with that stunt he would have to be more careful.

"How did it go with the DMLE?" Sirius asked, trying to get the negative attention off of his thoughtlessness. "I saw them pass by here the other day."

"Pretty much like you predicted," the teen said with a sigh, still angry that the backwater, pure-blood laws prevented him from justice. "Thanks for contacting Waters that was helpful. I did get restraining orders on the old man and the Weasley kid."

"You're welcome. It was the least I could do," his godfather said, glad that he had finally done something right. "Are they complying?" he asked, thinking that a bit of paper might not do much. If he knew Albus, that conniving old man would find his way around it.

.....

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