Chapter 8: Blurred lines
Gertrude finally was happy. She dared to dream a happily ever after, for a few days. She overheard her parents arguing in her father's chambers. They were arguing over her marriage.
"She's not ready, wait a few more years. I'm training her to be the best queen she can be. Let me complete her training before she's married." Eleanor argued.
"What would you know about being the best queen? The best queen is a silent, obedient one. You've never been either a day in your life." He attacked.
"She's only 16. I beg of you. If you ever loved me at all, please wait. If you ever loved HER at all, please wait." Eleanor pleaded.
"She's an old maid. You're dismissed, return to your own chambers." He sent her away.
Her mother began to protest but instead held her tongue, gave a curtsie, Gerti knew the sound of a curtsie well, and left the room. Gerti kept a distance but followed her mother to her chambers, attempting to not be noticed. Her mother did not turn around, but went straight to her chambers. Gerti snuck in through the servant's entrance. She hid quiet behind the changing wall. Gerti never realized how pretty the design was on it. It was a floral print. Roses with every detail in the thorns. Gerti returned her attention to her mother.
For the first time ever, Gerti saw her mother cry. Her sobs were silent, but her tears flowed. It didn't last long before she wiped her face and appeared to get busy working on something. She grabbed different herbs from her dressors. At first Gerti had no clue what her mother was doing--then she was horrified. Witchcraft, magic, all of it was outlawed, it was evil, yet here Gerti saw her mother, unmistakably practicing such evils. Gerti couldn't help but gasp. Her mother's head jolted in her direction.
"Show yourself" Eleanor commanded.
With this Gerti timidly came out from behing the wall. Her mother's shoulders sank as she gave a sign of relief.
"What were you doing behind the wall dear?" her mother's voice was gentle.
"I hear you and dad...and followed you....what....what were you just doing...mother?" Gerti stammered.
Eleanor looked back at her materials and then at her daughter. She knew her daughter was much to smart to lie to. Nor would she want to breach that trust.
"I was brewing a simple potion" her mother explained.
"But magic...it's evil. I thought you were a good person. Why? Why would you practice evil" Gerti began to be a scared, confused, little girl again. A way she hadn't been in years.
"Magic in and of itself isn't evil. It is a tool. No more than the skills that Chin has been teaching you. In our place. In our vulnerability...sometimes we have to use whatever power is available to us." she explained.
Silence devoured the room.
"You heard your father and I, you said. Do you believe that you're ready to get married?" Eleanor asked.
Gerti hesitated. She was not foolish enough to believe that one act of kindness made her ready to trust him as a husband. And she was not yet ready for a marriage without trust.
"No..." she whispered.
"All this does is make your father more open to listening to me. And that's the only matter I'm using this for." she assured her daughter "how about you go get some rest. It's late."
Gertrude left in a haze. Nothing felt real. She felt like she no longer knew what was good and what was evil. It was now a very foggy blurred line, one that she hoped to never cross.