Chapter 13

"I get the feeling this friendship is one-sided. Whenever I ask you about yourself, you basically shut down. How will I ever decide if I want more than friendship from you if you won't let me in?" Dominique asked.

I sighed. "I suppose you're right. What would you like to know, Dominique?"

"How did you meet your wife?"

My face shut down, but I did finally answer her. "I met her one day while I was out riding. She was younger than me by a few years. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. We were both very young when we met."

"What drew you to her?" Dominique asked.

I smiled. "She was so alive. The woman had a temper, but underneath there was a kindness I had never known from a woman. Most women in my life were not there for me. They were only there for one thing. I will not lie and say I did not take them up on that offer."

"Do you honestly think someone could bring you as much happiness and love as you had with her?"

"Yes, I do," I said as I looked at her knowing that she contained Rose's soul.

"Why do you like me?" Dominique asked.

For so many reasons, I thought to myself. None that I can tell her, however. Her soul draws me to her, but her personality also draws me in. She was somewhat like Rose but not at the same time. If possible, she was feistier than Rose had ever been. I knew she was meant for me. She was my soulmate. Nothing about her would ever change my mind about wanting her. Again, nothing I could tell her.

"Because you draw me to you. You also have an old soul; I think we are drawn to each other. However, if you are asking about certain things, I must say I like your caring nature. You care for everyone in your life and never put yourself first."

"You really don't know me if you think that. I have been selfish and only thought about myself. I put what I wanted above everything. It didn't matter if what I did hurt everyone around me at the time."

"I can't see it. Was this just a phase in your life? From what I have seen, you are not like that now."

"No, it wasn't a phase. I was going through a lot, and I, well, I tried to end it all. I wanted the pain and the shattered heart to just go away. I felt I wasn't good enough, and no one wanted me around. Melissa tried to help, but she couldn't fix a broken person," Dominique replied.

"You tried to kill yourself? Was this after you ended things with Tim?" I asked.

"Yes," Dominique said, as her hand automatically went to her necklace.

"Dominique, I have to know. What does the necklace symbolize? You always reach for it."

Dominique sighed. "It's my go-to, I guess, for calming me. You asked me once if I had children. I don't have any kids, but I was pregnant before. I lost the baby. She was tiny, and I had her body cremated. This necklace is all I have of her."

"I'm sorry, Dominique. If I had known, I would not have asked," I said as I took her into my arms and let her cry.

I felt like a complete ass. I had heard her talking with Melissa about things, but I wasn't there for the first year after she had broken things off with Tim. She had never wholly talked to Melissa about everything, and I had never investigated it. I wanted her to tell me on her own, so I didn't know about the baby. She wiped her eyes and gave me a weak smile.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to cry on your jacket and mess it up."

"The jacket can be cleaned. I like that you let me hold you and show your vulnerable side. You must be somewhat comfortable with me for you to allow yourself to cry around me."

"I don't know why, but I feel like I've known you forever. But to be honest, I also feel like you're hiding something from me. The real Nathaniel still remains elusive," Dominique said.

"I suppose we all have our secrets. You will get to know mine eventually as I will get to know yours."

"Well, you already know all my secrets. Those two things were my biggest secrets."

"They may be your biggest, but they are certainly not all your secrets. I do not know everything about you just yet. So, there is still a mystery that I hope to find out eventually," I said.

"Do you want children, Nathaniel?"

I stopped and looked at her. I couldn't have children. How did I explain that to her without telling her I was a vampire and that I was physically unable to have them? Yet another lie? No, I would tell her the truth. There were a lot of men and women that could not have children due to genetics.

"Sadly, I can not have children."

"Oh, wow. What happens if you get with a woman that wants them?"

"I guess that's something I would have to discuss with her. If she wants them more than me, then I suppose we would have to part ways. I would not hold it against her if she could not have children, but I suppose everyone is different."

"Would you ever consider adopting?"

"No. My life is somewhat hectic, and I would not want to adopt a child and have my wife raise them by herself. At least, I would feel she was raising them alone, which is not fair to her."

I saw her thinking it through. If she had miscarried one child, she would probably want another one day. Would she be willing to give that up for me? This was not going the way I had planned. I was fully expecting her to tell me that she wouldn't be with me, but to my surprise, she let it go. I saw her look up, and I turned my head to see what she was looking at. We had walked far enough down the road to where we could see my home. She turned to me and had a worried look on her face.

"I thought you said this place was deserted? Is that house occupied?"

"The field is deserted. The house is not. We did not see the house the first time, so I saw no need to mention it," I said.

"Do you know the owner? I really don't feel like getting arrested for trespassing."

I laughed as I said, "I own the house and all of the surrounding property. I didn't think you would be comfortable coming home with me, so we just stayed in the field."

"Oh," Dominique said as she looked at the house.

I saw her checking out what she could see of the house. The wheels in her head were turning again, and I couldn't help but smile. I was hoping she would ask for a tour, but to my disappointment, she didn't.

"Should we head back then?" Dominique asked.

"If you wish," I said.

We headed back to my car and got in. Dominique was silent the whole way back to her home. I wondered what she was thinking but didn't pry. Instead, I got out and opened her door for her when we arrived at her house. I walked her to the door and tried for a goodnight kiss when she put her hand on my chest. I sighed as I knew this would not end well.

"I suppose that means I can't kiss you goodnight then."

"No. I appreciate tonight; I really do. But I also told you, friends only."

"You are very frustrating, Dominique. Can you honestly tell me that you don't want me?"

Dominique blushed as she said, "Attraction isn't everything. You already know I'm attracted to you. I'm just not sure about the rest of it. I need to know there's more than just physical attraction. And so far, that's been the biggest part of our friendship. I know you don't understand, but I have to be sure. And I can't see the jealousy as a good thing."

"Any man would be jealous over you, Dominique. You might not see it, but I can tell you I'm not the only jealous one. Furthermore, if you feel the attraction I feel for you is all that's between us, then I'll just have to show you otherwise. So, I'll say goodnight for now."

I kissed her hand and left. I left her driveway and pulled over into another driveway. I was angry that the night had ended as it had. I thought we had been getting somewhere, but she pushed me away at every turn. Or something happened that made her doubt me. I saw her car go by and wondered where she was going. I followed her and saw her pull over at the bar. I wondered why she went there so late, but I couldn't stay as I pulled around the back and saw that girl from the park sitting on Tim's car. I had to leave before she spotted me. So, I went home until I could see Dominique again.