Chapter 53

She lets out another long sigh, then warily says, "Uzumaki-kun, Ramen is your favorite food, right?" She asks, trying a different tactic as he nods vehemently. "If I purchased an extra large bowl exactly how you like it, and threw it on the ground, how would you feel?"

"Tha- You can't! That's so wrong, it'd break my heart. I'd probably fight you, or just get really mad," he easily answers letting the mental picture spur his ardent words.

"What if it made me feel really good to do that? I'd buy several bowls exactly how you like it just to throw it all in the dirt," she continues to ask.

Eyes wide with fear, he easily asserts, "than I'd definitely kick your ass! You can't do that! If you're not going to eat it, don't buy it!"

"There are no rules saying I can't do whatever makes me feel good after I've purchased the ramen with my money," Kurenai argues, seeing his growing confusion, she clarifies. "What I'm trying to say is, just because something feels good doesn't mean you have the freedom to do it. Even though there isn't a rule against it, everyone agrees buying food only to throw it away is wasteful and wrong. There are certain expectations in a civilized village that everyone should follow, for example, don't waste; eat what you buy. Don't murder, don't rape, don't vandalize, are more examples even though there are rules about those. In this case, you don't sleep with a person eight years younger than you! If you weren't a genin, this would've been illegal and I would've gone to prison."

"What!?" Naruto blurts out. "But this isn't murder or any of that bad stuff!"

"What I'm trying to convey is, simply because something feels good for you, doesn't make it right to society. We should not have done what we did."

She can easily see the wheels of his mind spinning before he asks, "but- but, I'm a genin, right? So- So, that means it's okay, then," Naruto reasons.

"It's still not okay!" Kurenai maintains. "You're not supposed to do that with an adult!"

"I don't care about what I'm supposed to do," Naruto yells back. "If all I ever did was what I'm 'supposed to do' than I wouldn't even be a ninja! I wouldn't have pushed Ji-chan to emanc- imantipat... to make me an adult so I can live on my own. I'd probably still be in the orphanage, getting hurt, and I wouldn't even think about being the absolute best Hokage ever! I don't let people I don't know—who don't even care about me—tell me what I can and can't do!"

Kurenai couldn't help pick up on a few key phrases in his emotional retort. An emancipated adult, being hurt while living in the orphanage, and a small question of who this Ji-chan that helped him become emancipated sparked her curiosity. It was a very revealing speech, and it certainly gave Kurenai's analytical mind more insight as to why the loud obnoxious blond was the way he was. It would almost be admirable if he had any skill or ability to show for it. It also led her to ponder his view on what they had done. 'This is just training for him. At the most, training with a partner,' she mentally hypothesizes. Willing to test her theory, she asks, "Uzumaki-kun, do you love me?"

Taken aback by the question, he comically ponders the question a moment, his cheeks stain red before he answers with a question of his own, "is that like a precious person? Like Ji-chan, Teuchi-jiji, Ayame-nee, or Iruka-sensei?"

'He doesn't completely grasp love it appears,' Kurenai reasons before responding, "no, I mean like a romantic love; a girl for instance?"

"Mnn, I... don't know. I mean, I'm super psyched you're helping me, and you feel really really good." Kurenai can't help but blush at the quick flashes of physical and mental memories the boy invokes. Judging by his reddening cheeks and the shifting from side to side, it's easy to interpret he's recalling last night as well. "I would definitely protect you, no question, but... but I still think about Sakura-chan, a lot... even though I know I can't ever be with her..." he says despondently. Oddly enough, Kurenai understands that completely. "But I think, as long as she's happy and strong, I'll be okay. Plus, I can still protect her if she needs it."

As a rule for his sessions with Hinata-chan, Uzumaki isn't allowed to speak about other girls, so Kurenai's never heard any of this before. It's slightly surprising to Kurenai that he actually has this side to him and even though she's fairly certain he sees their coupling as little more than training, she tells him, "listen, we can't ever do this again. It wouldn't be good if anyone found out. Lots of terrible repercussions can happen to you, to me, to my students if others learned about this and I don't ever want that to happen."

Naruto tilts his head curiously as he asks, "so, you want to keep it a secret?"

"Yes," Kurenai asserts. "A very important secret. Absolutely no one must ever find out."

"Well I'm really good at keeping secrets," he tells her with a vibrant grin. "I'm even keeping my training super secret!"

"Okay, good," Kurenai humors him so long as he understands.

"So that means we can keep training as long as no one knows," he asks.

Kurenai can feel the land mines ahead, yet answers, "no. No, we can't. We can't ever do that again. It's not proper for many reasons."

"But I learned so much," Naruto proclaims. "How do you expect me to go back to books and pictures after that?"

"Uzumaki-kun, I don't think I can keep helping you with... with what I've been helping you with. I think we should end this here," she softly voices, but to Naruto, it may as well sounded like a canon. He's stunned until he hears her moving to leave.

"Wait, wait," he rushes after her, getting in front. "You promised! You said you'd help!"

"I can't do that again," Kurenai maintains, walking away.

He follows her desperately. "But- but, it was good, right? You liked it, right? Please, I'll do better! You don't have to leave me," he pleads, wrapping his arms around her waist, trying to keep her from leaving... to keep another connection he's made from abandoning him.

Rather surprised, yet saddened to see, she weakly protests, "Uzumaki..."

"It's fine if no one knows, right? I won't say anything, so- so- so, just stay," he tries with a trembling voice. "Or I'll be a Jōnin too, if that's what you want. Then it'll be fine since we're the same rank! That works perfect, ne?"

"Uzumaki-kun, let me go, please," she somberly asks, and after some hesitation, he slowly lets her go.