Reflection and Question

(First Person POV)

What is the meaning of life? There is no specific definition and it is one of those concepts that are defined by your own experiences and ideas. Thus, everyone has a different meaning of life. Some might agree with one explanation, but they will never truly be satisfied with it unless it is modified to suit themselves.

So for me, as a previous thirty-year-old man who is eight once more, I believe the meaning of life is family, companionship, food, and happiness. If I had to narrow it down, then it would be happiness as it is a part of everything I mentioned.

Let's begin with the family. When I moved out of my parent's house, it was lonely whenever I went to my apartment. I had a decent job with above-average pay, but it was very disheartening to come to an empty, silent home. That's why I made it my mission to spend time with my mother and father every week no matter how simple or short it was.

Every Saturday, we had a family dinner where we would share our day and anything that happened recently. Since dad loved fishing, I would take him with me every Sunday to have some father-son time as we don't converse as much as I do with my mother. Unlike my father, I was naturally more close to her. She was the one person I could trust with my social difficulties and I would obtain help from her.

I remember making lunch for her early morning so that I can eat with her during our lunch break. As her day shift as a nurse gave her a long, convenient break like mine, we would chat about whatever came to mind. It was nice to be with them until...until those events transpired. Dad died of cancer as by the time it was discovered, it was too late. Mom eventually joined her soul mate a year later when a drunk bastard hit her car and...

Those memories were painful...but they didn't define my time with them. No. It was the joy I had every day because my parents were there for me that forged the concept of family as one of the meanings of life.

Although, to this day, I regretted not giving them the grandchildren they secretly wanted. I had multiple chances with three women and yet, I blew it every occasion. Maybe sharing and commitment terrified me or something, but I grasped the problem deep down. Loving romantically was an emotion I couldn't feel. It was as simple as that. Leading on good people who had a whole life ahead of them was something I did not want to be responsible for. Now, they're happy with their spouses and I am okay too.

Next was the companionship. As I mentioned previously, I had troubled socially. Being a shy kid with social anxiety certainly did not help my case. My palms were always sweaty when I was with a large group of people. My back and forehead would get extremely hot whenever I was involved in a conversation. My feet were stuck in the ground when someone greeted me out of nowhere. Sometimes, I couldn't breathe properly around others. It was bad. These were the darker parts of my life I don't usually talk about.

Though my mother was my mental support through this part of my life, it was my friend Joseph who truly changed me for the better. His patience with me, his kindness, and his perception; all of it was something I admired. He was both my best friend and my role model. In the future, I wanted to repay him, and similar to my parent's situation, I lost my chance to show gratitude. At the young age of twenty-two, he was shot and killed.

Death seemed to become a common element in my life. It was this belief that led to me keeping my distance from everyone until the day I died, not that I had many people that close to me in the first place.

Nonetheless, the last meaning of life, food, was what kept me alive. Many have the motivation to explore the world or meet new people or save others. Me? I wanted to eat. Not only because I enjoy it but rather, it kept me tethered to the world. Food was a way for me to be connected with everything around me. My parents and I always bonded through eating, Joseph and I met through a Cafe, and Liz, my friend at the time, shared the love that I had for food with me. Plus we were kindred spirits who had the same difficulties with people.

Looking back, I truly did let Joseph's death affect me too much. How could I so cruelly tell my sole friend to leave me alone forever? How could I sleep at night, knowing that I betrayed the trust and friendship of a woman who stayed by my side and cared for me? How could I do that to her?

Well, the truth was that I did not recognize that I was being a horrible person because I was too caught up in my grief. The truth was that I went without sleep for weeks, constantly replaying the memories of me raising my voice to her. The truth was...I was selfish.

Guilt. So, so much guilt. It crushed me every day to see Liz act like I was invisible. She ended up listening to me and left me alone as I asked her to. I hoped that we can reconcile and be friends again. I practically prayed for it every night even though I wasn't religious. Ironic isn't it? The God that I once cursed was the same person I begged to in the end.

And after finally building up the courage to talk with her, I came across a surprisingly painful sight. A man and woman in each other's arms, gently kissing and lost in each other's eyes once they broke off. I left as I fast I arrived, giving one last glance to the couple. It wasn't complicated. She moved on after many months, gaining both a lover and probably a better friend if the woman I saw beside her at the mart told me anything.

Liz and Joseph were two special people to me, however, Liz more so in a different way. To this day, I tried to figure out why my friendship with her was odd. We were close enough to be classified as best friends, but we were something more. I could tell. Within me, there was always this unique sensation whenever she was around.

To describe it, I had to begin from the day I felt this strange emotion. Her appearance was the first change. Liz was beautiful. I think she always was, and I did not detect it. There were times where my eyes unintentionally lingered on her for a few seconds longer. During the days where we go out and do fun activities, I enjoyed myself considerably than usual. Then when she would go home, I was lonely and slightly empty.

If my mother was alive, she might've chased me with a sandle at how dense I was. The answer was in my face.

I loved her.

I truly did.

Honestly, I believe she did too. There were moments where I caught her staring or be excessively close to me. What truly cemented this was the trip to Europe I had with her. We went to a foreign country together with nothing but translation skills, knowledge, a decent amount of cash, and essentials. Though we lodged at a kind aunty's place, Liz and I went through a journey. If we were not interrupted that day, we would have kissed.

In conclusion, my first life sucks and I made terrible choices. Still, my meanings stand true.

When I was reborn into the Naruto world, I was shocked for days. Even presently, I believe that I am in some sort of super coma where I lived as this Karu Sonida person. Not that I am complaining since it transformed me for good. Sometimes, I wished that Karu Sonida was the man I became when I was Will Shatters.

That is why I came to a decision. I vowed to never fail my friends ever again and I started that with Naruto as I sat before him on the other side of his brown wooden table.

(3rd Person POV)

"You want to be adopted into my family, Naruto?"

Giving it a few minutes to let it sink in, Karu hummed the Jeopardy theme as he waited. After a fair amount of time passed, he assumed that Naruto was refusing and was ready to leave.

"Is that no?" He had a patient look. "I get it. You want to live by yourself. I respect that. Good night, Naruto."

Hearing his voice, Naruto woke up from his thoughts. Reaching out to pull on Karu's sleeve, he had the brightest smile on his face. "Yes. Yes! A million times yes! "

"You sure?" Naruto nodded. "You'll have parents that will nag you." A nod. "You'll have to live with three other people." A nod. "You will have chores." A nod. "You'll have to stay in my room for weeks." A nod. "You'll have to wait for bathroom use."

"Damn it I don't care. I get to have a family. Nothing could..." All of a sudden, his happiness dimmed. "But wait..."

"Don't you worry about the villagers." Naruto's head rose. "We will be fine."

"How can you...?"

"Do you trust me?"

"...I do."

"Then believe me when I say that we will be fine." Receiving a wet hug, Karu returned it to barely hear Naruto's muffled words.

"Thank you. Thank you." He gripped a little harder.

"You're welcome, pal."