First Mission

lanket disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Tenjho Tenge

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Now on to Team 11's first mission! Here's chapter 26:

Last time:

"Team 11 is a Heavy Assault Unit organized around sword wielders like they do in Kumo. This is a bit of an experiment on the Hokage's part since we've broken new ground with this class. It will be made up of Hyūga Hinata, Natsume Maya, and Uzumaki Naruto. Yūgao cocked her head as she saw the Hokage had written in a last-minute change. The Jonin in charge of this unit is….ME?! What the fuck?! I've done more than enough training these little maniacs for the Hokage and now he wants me to take a genin team?! This was supposed to be Hatake Kakashi's team, damn it!" Yūgao vanished in a body flicker screaming about the injustice of it all and there being hell to pay…Naruto, Maya, and Hinata were all a bit stunned. They were all very excited and happy to be on the same team but at the same time weren't sure how to gauge Yūgao-sensei's reaction…

Within the next twenty minutes Asuma, Kurenai and Anko arrived to pick up their respective teams and all the classmates said warm goodbyes to each other. (Emi gave a huge hug to Naruto which made him blush). That left Team 11 to wonder what their errant sensei had gone to do…They just hoped it wasn't too drastic…

…

Chapter 26

Konoha

Team 11 went through the paces for a couple of days but other than testing their endurance and getting to know their individual kenjutsu styles a little better personally Yūgao already was very familiar with her team (especially Naruto). They all lived under the same roof and were very close friends (Yūgao wasn't aware that her three teenage charges were intimate though). To blend in better with her team Yūgao acquired some black sleeved ANBU gear like her students. Stretching her shoulders Thursday morning; Yūgao gathered her team and said, "What do you guys say to grabbing a C-rank mission? D-ranks are below your skill sets and you are definitely combat ready. Any objections?" Seeing her team was all in favor of taking their first mission the purple haired sword mistress led Team 11 to the Hokage Tower and shook her head at the last visit she made there…

Flashback…

After Team announcements, Yūgao appeared in a swirl of leaves at the Hokage Tower. All of the normally unflappable ANBU Cat's usual self-control and composure was gone. She burst into the Hokage's Office with the paperwork stating she was a Jonin Sensei for Team 11 in her hand. With wild brown eyes full of depravity, she said to the Third Hokage, "What is the meaning of this?! I taught the class of little savages like you told me and now you make me a Team Sensei? What have I done to deserve this?! I've seen punishments for missing nins that were far more lenient than this!" Waving her hands around wildly she cried, "Why me?!"

For his part the Hokage was a bit stunned that Yūgao was ignoring her usual tactful and calm way of presenting herself. He said pleasantly to the young ANBU, "Please be seated Yūgao. I'm saving you from the lesser of two evils." The Hokage offered her a cup of sake and motioned for her to sit. Yūgao sat down and slammed the offered drink in one go. Hiruzen said, "Are you feeling calmer now or do you need another?"

…Three shots later Yūgao calmed herself down and blushed atomic red realizing she was acting totally out of line with her supreme leader. Bowing she said, "I'm terribly sorry Hokage-sama. My behavior was inexcusable. I must ask of you though, why am I a Team leader now? Technically I've been in ANBU from a young age. I never acquired a Jonin rank."

Hiruzen smiled seeing the purple haired kunoichi he knew had come to her senses. In a Fatherly way he said, "Uzuki Yugao, for your outstanding service in the Village of Konoha I bequeath the rank of a full Jonin Kunoichi upon you. Congratulations!" He handed her an official scroll stating the fact. The stamp of the Hokage's Office made it official.

'Damned old monkey!' Yūgao thought crossly. 'He was expecting me!'

Hiruzen's smile widened and he said, "And yes, I was expecting you." Seeing Yūgao's shocked look he covered a chuckle and said, "Yūgao, I'm afraid you've become a victim of your own success."

"What do you mean Hokage-sama?" asked Yūgao earnestly.

The aged Hokage said, "Simply put, you trained your class so well that they were able to capture four fully fledged Jonins and successfully transport them as captives through some of the worst territory known in Fire Country, the Forest of Death. Admittedly the Jonins were all caught off guard but that really doesn't change things. They still should have been able to easily avoid mere genins; let alone Academy Students. I would say other than lacking field experience your ANBU Brats are bordering on chunin level, not genin level."

Now Yūgao looked perplexed. "Hokage-sama, with all due respect; I thought that was the goal in teaching this class. We need frontline troops in preparation for an upcoming conflict and my job was to give them the tools to survive and succeed."

Hiruzen nodded. "And you did just that; spectacularly I might add. Yūgao; you exceeded everyone's wildest expectations including my own. When the Jonin Council heard about the Advanced Genin Program naturally they were interested and curious but seeing the trials that the students had to endure as homework assignments and the fact they were successfully completing what should have been the equivalent of B-rank missions led the council to two possible conclusions: One was that you were an evil sadist that hated children and the other was that this little program was absolutely brilliant."

"Well, all of their homework was based on B-rank missions Hokage-sama. Those who couldn't make the cut would have cracked like the Uchiha did." explained the purple haired ANBU.

Hiruzen sweat dropped. 'Okay; the program is brilliant and she's an evil sadist that hates children.' "Ahem; setting that aside the Advanced Genins are a stunning success. Many Jonin's were actually fighting to get a team of your ANBU Brats instead of waiting for this year's normal genins to graduate. Even Mitarashi Anko who has refused for years to train anybody was eager to get a team after they captured my son Asuma and the others."

Yūgao put two and two together quickly. "Anko wanted the team of Isuzu Emi, Nara Shikamaru and Yamanaka Ino in particular because they scared the living hell out of Sarutobi Asuma didn't she?"

Hiruzen nodded. "I believe that did factor into her wanting Team 10. She got to read his report on 'understanding how missing nins felt' and became quite enamored with the idea of teaching those three. Here, see for yourself." said Hiruzen as he handed over the reports of the four jonins in the Forest of Death.

Yūgao's eyes had grown to comical proportions and her jaw hit the floor by the time she finished reading the four reports. "Kakashi-senpai likened them to giant tigers toying with their prey? Kurenai believes that the concept of overkill has been beaten out of them entirely? Asuma wouldn't wish them on his own worst enemies...and Genma believes that if they decide to quit being ninjas they have all the qualifications to be future evil warlords…that's just cold…"

"The point is your little class of Academy Students made quite an impression Yūgao." said Hiruzen. "They made such an impression that the Jonin Council wants you to teach classes of handpicked students from now on so we have a steady supply of advanced genins. They recommended you get a class of ninety students immediately." Seeing the look of absolute terror in Yūgao's eyes Hiruzen said, "By making you the Jonin Sensei of Team 11 so you can 'assess your work' I've gotten you out of teaching students at the Academy until you retire or hang yourself, whichever comes first."

Yūgao stood up and saluted. "I will do everything in my power to make Team 11 the best genin team of all time Hokage-sama!"

"I would expect nothing less of such a dedicated kunoichi as yourself Yūgao." said Hiruzen proudly. "A piece of advice though. Try not to kill those three."

Flashback end...

…

'Try not to kill them he says.' thought Yūgao sourly. 'These three are hardy as cockroaches and more tenacious than bloodhounds. It would take a lot more than what I can dish out to kill the likes of them.' Knocking on the Hokage's Mission Office door Yūgao said, "Everyone at attention in the presence of Hokage-sama." Hearing permission to enter Yūgao and her genins entered and bowed respectfully. The purple haired jonin said, "Uzuki Yūgao and Team 11 reporting for duty Hokage-sama; I'd like to request a C-rank mission for my team."

Though the Hokage wasn't surprised his assistants were. "You want to take your Team out on a C-ranked mission without any D-rank experience Uzuki-san?" asked one of the new chunins in shock. His name was Shinji.

Team 11 glared at Shinji in their ANBU gear and looked quite menacing to him. Yūgao explained, "Shinji-san, members of the Advanced Genin Teams have been waived from the D-rank requirements by Hokage-sama himself. Is there a problem?"

"N-no Uzuki-san." quailed the chunin.

The Hokage hummed to himself and began going through the C-ranked missions. "Hmmm….Here's a simple mission to escort a bridge builder back to his home country…." Getting a horrific feeling of déjà vu the Hokage said, "Nah; let's look for something else." as he tossed that mission carelessly over his shoulder. "The Find Tora the cat mission has been upgraded to B-rank due to massive casualties incurred recently so it's out." he said as he tossed that one on the B-ranked mission pile. "Here's a delivery mission to the Daimyo in the Fire Capital. How about that one?" asked Hiruzen.

"A nice courier mission sounds ideal Hokage-sama." said Yūgao.

Sarutobi Hiruzen motioned to Shinji to bring out the package. It turned out to be relatively small but obviously it was a very heavy package from the way Shinji was struggling. He sat it down on the table roughly and it made a slight tearing sound. Then he said, "It's supposed to be very fragile so handle this with care despite the fact it weighs a lot." Everyone sweat dropped at the manhandling that the chunin had given the so-called fragile object….

Naruto stepped forward to pick it up and tested the weight of it. Holding it up to eye level he sniffed once and asked, "This is supposed to go directly to the Fire Daimyo?" Seeing everyone nod Naruto asked, "Is there a reason why it's ticking and smells like cordite?"

Hinata looked at the package with her byakugan active and said, "It looks like Shinji-san caused a rip in a sealed bag within. It must have dampened the sound and smell of a concealed box inside surrounded by some particularly jagged pieces of jewelry. Odds are it's a bomb and the jewelry is shrapnel Naruto-kun. Set it down VERY gently."

Naruto sat the bomb down light as a feather and took a few steps back before he said, "I have a sneaking suspicion this particular mission could go south real fast."

Hiruzen snapped his fingers and two ANBU appeared. "Quite right. ANBU, summon the bomb disposal unit and clear the building."

…

An hour and a half later …

Everyone was back at the Mission Desk and the bomb had been properly disposed of. A tracking team was dispatched to catch the bomber provided he/she hadn't already fled Konoha. Hiruzen said, "Well Team 11, I think that protecting the Fire Daimyo from being bombed counts as a B-rank. Do you still want a C-rank or would you rather call it a day?"

"We'd still like an escort or courier mission Hokage-sama." said Yūgao. "How about that bridge builder from earlier you mentioned?"

Hiruzen shrugged. "It seems like I've assigned that mission dozens of times for some odd reason. Shinji, retrieve that scroll, would you?"

Shinji shuffled through the scrolls and said panicked, "I can't find it sir."

Everyone sweat dropped again and stared at Shinji. "Forgive me; it's my first week on the job!" he whimpered.

"Any C-ranked escort mission will do at this point." said the Hokage in a tired tone. Team 11 was radiating frustration by this point…as were the twenty-six teams waiting in line behind them wondering what in the hell was taking so long.

"Here you are Hokage-sama." said Shinji sweating as he handed over the scroll.

Hiruzen unrolled it and said "Well, it's a long but simple escort mission. You are to go to the shrine of Hekison Village in southern Tea Country and escort a Miko named Minami Natsuko back to the shrine in the Fire Capital. Apparently, this was ordered by High Priest Wataru-sama before he was sacked a couple of weeks ago for sexual harassment. The mission still stands though. Will this suit your team's skills Yūgao?"

Looking the parameters over quickly, Yūgao said, "Team 11 will happily accept the Tea Country escort mission." Hiruzen quickly wrote down the mission and wished them good luck. Once they were outside and past the massive line of waiting teams Yūgao said, "Pack for a three-week extended mission tonight and meet at the South Gates at 5 A.M. tomorrow. This evening I'll trust you three to research Tea Country on your own. We will trade notes about it tomorrow after we set out. Remember; geography, history, politics and anything else that might catch your eye in the region are all important. Knowledge is power. I'll see you in the morning." Yūgao then vanished in a body flicker.

"We really need to learn the body flicker." said Naruto enviously.

"We will eventually Naruto-kun." said Maya. Then she sighed, "It seems Yūgao-sensei is still fond of handing out homework assignments."

"She just wants us to be prepared Maya-chan." said Hinata in a pleasant tone. Both girls heard Naruto's stomach roar about that time and Hinata added, "Let's get some lunch and head over to the giant birthday cake, er…library.

"I'm up for that Hinata-chan!" announced Naruto happily.

After eating at Ichiraku's Ramen the three went over to the Ninja section of the library and started going through the books on Tea Country…

…

Tea Country, the Village of Hekison

In the remote little Village of Hekison was a small Shinto shrine with the elderly Priestess Midori, her granddaughter Mana who was a Miko and her fellow Miko Minami Natsuko*①. Mana came over to her friend and said, "I hope you'll return to visit us soon Natsuko-chan. It's going to be a bit lonely without you here at the shrine although I can't help but be a bit envious that High Priest Wataru-sama picked you out of so many candidates from Tea Country."

Natsuko stood up which made her sizable cleavage bounce under her rather snug traditional red and white Miko outfit. She was a beautiful, fair skinned young woman with long black hair and violet eyes, She wielded a naginata. Right now, her hair was down although she often wore it in a ponytail. She had an aura of gentleness and seemed very proper. Turning to her friend Natsuko said innocently, "I honestly have no idea why great Waturu-sama picked me out in the crowd and said I was truly enlightened. Perhaps his faith allows him to see things others cannot. It seems like I just arrived here in Hekison Village yesterday and now I'm leaving again." She added the last part forlornly.

"When you arrived last spring I never dreamed you'd become a Miko." said Mana kindly. "You were a refugee and we figured you'd be here a week or two while you recovered your health. Having you here this last year has been like having the big sister I always wanted to have. I hate to see you go. The whole village adores you after all."

Natsuko smiled. "You and Midori-sama have been so kind to me Mana-chan. I had to pay you both back for letting me stay here. I guess we'll just have to see what the future holds. I have a feeling that I'm going to miss the peaceful days here."

The two Miko soon got back to work cleaning the shrine…

…

Fire Country, 5 A.M. Konoha's South Gate

Team 11 walked from the Natsume Clan home and arrived at the South Gate at the same time Yūgao arrived via body flicker. "Everyone set?" asked Yūgao. Seeing her students all answer in the affirmative Team 11 stopped, signed out with the Gate Guards and went on their way at ninja speeds for several hours before they stopped for lunch on the road. Yūgao watched with satisfaction as her team unsealed their supplies and set up a well concealed camp to have some lunch. As they were quietly eating rice balls and miso soup, Yūgao asked, "What can you tell me about Tea Country's geography?" as she pointed at Maya.

Maya answered, "Tea Country is a peninsula which only is only bordered by Fire Country on land. It is primarily forests and mountains with most of its larger settlements on the coasts which are often ports or fishing villages."

Yūgao nodded. She motioned to Naruto and said, "Tell me about it politically Naruto."

Pausing between bites Naruto said, "Tea Country is ruled by a Daimyo but most of the country is ruled by crime lords on a local level. Not all of them are corrupt but many are. Nominally they all owe allegiance to the Tea Daimyo and he wields the power to disband a corrupt clan although it seems he does this very rarely. It seems like a very delicate system and that's probably why they have no ninja village and just have local militias."

"Good." said Yūgao. "Hinata, who do they rely on for ninjas?"

"They mainly rely on Konoha for ninjas and Fire Country in general for military support." answered Hinata. "Their trade economy is at least fifty percent tied to Fire Country as well though they trade with many other nations and villages through their seaports. "They've been known to employ other ninjas as well but generally don't due to the pro Fire Country economy. It would be bad for business if we were to take our trade elsewhere. Their other major trading partner is Sea Country but they are in no position to send military support to Tea so regardless Fire Country is their main source for ninjas."

"Any other comments?" asked Yūgao.

Maya said, "If a ninja village did appear in Tea Country they would potentially have enough power to rule it which is another reason the Daimyo of Tea prefers to get ninjas from outside because they are safely at arm's length."

"You three did well." said Yūgao brightly. "Another thing you might need to know is the only other ninja village available to help them in large numbers is Kiri but they would have to sail to Tea Country which is much more expensive than our land route. We could still run into Kiri Ninjas though. They really aren't our allies, but they aren't our enemies either so treat them diplomatically and with respect."

As they finished lunch and cleared all evidence that they'd be camping there; Yūgao said, "We're going to continue at ninja speeds until dinner. Depending on where we are at that point, we'll either make camp or stay at an inn if a reasonably priced one is in a nearby village."

…

Hidden camp along the Fire Country/Tea Country border

The missing nins of the infamous Bonkura Clan were plotting the downfall of a certain kunoichi. They were also identical quintuplets and telling the brothers apart was impossible… They even wore name tags to tell each other apart.

"She's supposed a really dangerous kunoichi that our employer wants dead." said Ichiro.

Jiro asked, "But how are we supposed to identify her brother? All our description says is she's crossing the border and is really sexy."

"It's simple stupid. All we have to do is jump any well-armed hot babe we see." retorted Saburo.

"You're the stupid one!" shouted Shiro. "What if we see a bunch of hot chicks that are armed to the teeth?"

"Then we beat all of them up and capture them so we can drag the information our client has about her out." said Goro.

Jiro nodded eagerly. "Oh, I see! Once we find the right one we off her and then let the others go, no hard feelings."

"Just remember she's supposed to be a total badass. She's like…ANBU level or something." said Ichiro with a cringe.

Saburo muttered, "That can't be good…"

"Have some confidence boys, even a chick that was Kage level would be no match for us…except Kaa-san of course." said Goro in a haunted voice.

"If Kaa-san ever catches us we're dead men…" said Shiro.

"That's why we had to run away from Grass Country and become missing nins to begin with brothers!" exclaimed Ichiro.

"Kaa-san is scary…" they all said in unison.

…So what did the five Bonkura brothers all have in common? Well, they all feared their Mother obviously. They each had a matching stubby short sword to match their four stubby limbs. The Bonkuras were quite stout being about five feet tall and four feet wide. On top of their broad shoulders sat thick necks with smaller heads that got them the hated nickname of 'The Amazing Human Mole Brothers' while they were growing up. They each sported a brown comb-over having gone bald at young age. But what they lacked in looks they made up with brains…What they lacked in brains they made up with brawn and what they lacked in brawn, brains and looks (that they incidentally inherited from their Mother) they made up with numbers.

The Bonkura brother's ninja way could be summed up in the phrase 'quantity over quality' and these five not so lean, mean fighting machines were gearing up to ambush their target…Assuming they could figure out who the target was to begin with…

After all, how many well-armed hot babes would you run into at the border between Tea Country and Fire Country?

…

South Fire Country, 7 P.M.

Team 11's initial idea was to press on a little further but a bad thunderstorm dashed all hopes of travelling across the narrow southern passage towards Tea Country border that evening. As a result, Team 11 set up camp in the forest Naruto created a small four point seal to project a pyramid of chakra over them to keep the rain out. Yūgao marveled at her blonde student's ingenuity with seals once again as she helped pitch the tents with Hinata while Maya built a fire.

They ate quietly as the evening chill set in due to the storm. Yūgao said, "Once the storms pass in the morning, we'll get underway. Between the forest canopy and the chakra shield we're nice and dry. We also have plenty of fuel for the fire so we should be plenty warm tonight. Good job everybody."

"I'm just glad we didn't push on during the storm." said Hinata. "We have about thirty kilometers of open plains to cross once we clear this forested area. I think we all would have ended up looking like drowned rats if we'd pressed on."

Maya nodded. "I agree Hinata-chan. I'm thankful this mission isn't that time sensitive or we would have had to cross regardless."

"We'll get there when we get there." said Yūgao. "We've made good time so far and I doubt our client is going to leave Hekison Village on a whim. Generally, Mikos aren't known for their wild behavior anyway."

"Have you ever been to Hekison Village before sensei?" asked Naruto.

Yūgao shook her head 'no' as thunder cracked overhead. "I've never even heard of Hekison Village. We have a map and it's near Heiya Village which is a bit of a crossroads at the southern tip of Tea Country. I figure we can get exact directions there."

Team 11 finished eating and decided to settle in for the night. In this kind of a storm, they seriously doubted anything would be active but took shifts as sentries regardless…

…

Tea Country, the Village of Hekison

It was late evening, and the Hekison Shrine was closed up for the night. Natsuko was in the back of the shrine sharpening and polishing her naginata to a deadly, perfect edge. She held it up in the moonlight and tested it with a piece of hair that split under its own weight as it floated down from above the gleaming blade. After making sure that both Midori-sama and Mana-chan were fast asleep Natsuko went out into the back courtyard and spun her naginata above her head expertly and went through an impressive set of katas culminating in a deadly dance of flashing blades in the moonlight. 'I have to be ready for anything…After the Konoha Ninjas arrive I'll never be able to return here again…It is my duty.' Then she smiled sharply. 'Wait for me Wataru-sama…'

After another hour of practice Natsuko took a good bath in the purifying waters of the falls behind the shrine and called it a night…

…

Fire Country/Tea Country Border

It was mid-morning and Team 11 was making good time. As soon as the storms blew over in the morning, they were on the move again. "I see the border station ahead sensei; I'll take point." said Hinata as she moved to the front position.

Yūgao watched as her team flawlessly adjusted their formation. 'They know each other even better than I realized. Hanako-sama has trained them well. All three of them move together seamlessly. I'm glad I have this team now.' "Slow down once we get within a hundred meters of the border station Hinata. We need to approach at a slow pace to show we aren't hostile." Yūgao heard Hinata acknowledge the order and the group came to a halt a little bit short of one hundred meters from the station. Walking at a normal pace and keeping their hands visible Yūgao took the lead and approached the guard station with her passport in hand.

"I'm Jonin Uzuki Yūgao of Konoha and this is my genin team. We are under orders to escort a Miko from Hekison Village in the South back to the Fire Capital so she may serve as a priestess there. Here are my mission papers." said the purple haired Jonin as she handed the papers over to the guard on duty.

The guard slowly went through Team 11's passports and the mission statement. "Everything appears to be in order Uzuki-san. Let me get my captain to sign off on this and I'll get you passage."

Within ten minutes each of them had an additional form to carry with their passports showing they had free passage in Tea Country by the grace of the Tea Daimyo. "Welcome to Tea Country." said the guard. "I hope you visit goes smoothly Konoha Ninja." After that the guard station gates opened and Team 11 entered Tea Country…

…

Formerly hidden camp along the Fire Country/Tea Country border

The Bonkura brothers got a bit unlucky and missed out on any border crossings during the morning hours due to the storm…

"I can't believe that massive gale caused a flash flood! We damn near downed last night!" said Goro.

Shiro nodded in agreement. "Too true brother. That flood washed us and all our camping equipment straight into the river."

"Well, since we were washed thirty kilometers downriver, we weren't able to maintain our watch for hours." moaned Saburo miserably.

"More importantly we lost all our camping gear!" whined Jiro.

Ichiro said in a placating tone, "Once our client pays us, we can buy all new gear."

"That's true. Once we eliminate our target, we'll be rich!" said Jiro giddily.

"We'll succeed through our iron discipline and never-ending vigilance men." said Goro in an inspiring tone. "No one will get past us. That's what we Bonkuras live by."

The five brothers cheered.

Too bad they missed every border crossing throughout the night and all the way into the afternoon…

…

Tea Country, Village of Heiya

Team 11 entered the Village of Heiya after travelling at a moderate pace for three days. Yūgao figured that since there wasn't a big hurry, she could educate them on the sites and show her team how to interact as they were foreigners here. She also mentioned confidentially that she and the Fukui Crime family had some bad blood from her ANBU days but that shouldn't be an issue given they never saw her without her mask. Still, the three genins of Team 11 were to be on guard if the Fukui family was involved and they were a major influence in the region of Heiya.

Heiya Village had changed a lot since Yūgao had been there years ago. "The last time I was here Heiya Village was a trading crossroads and a watering hole more than anything. It had a trading post and a couple of hundred people tops." said Yūgao as she and her genins looked around at the sprawling village. "I'd guess it is ten times the size it was then. Someone has been funneling some major investment money into this place." Wandering into the market district Yūgao noted the Fukui Clan Crest was adorning all of the public buildings. 'Looks like the Fukui Clan managed to drive out their competitors.' she thought.

Wandering over to the trading center (a large and modern building rather than the little wooden shack Yūgao remembered), they were accosted by salesmen of all sorts wanting to sell everything from jewelry to cattle to narcotics. The three genins were a bit overwhelmed but their sensei guided them through without any incident. Coming up to the exchange desk Yūgao said to the teller, "I'd like a map of the general area where all the small local villages are. I'm a little lost because I haven't been here in a few years."

The teller said, "I'd go to the bar and ask for directions then. There are so many little backwater villages in these parts you'll probably need to hire a guide." He pointed at the wall behind him to a nondescript map that showed larger towns in the area involved in trade. "I can sell you a copy of that but I figure you Konoha ninjas already have that much."

Looking at the map on the wall team 11 couldn't help but agree that they already had that information. Yūgao sighed. 'Well, nothing is ever easy.' "All right sir, thank you for your time and advice. Let's go you three."

After Team 11 walked around a bit they found out that most guides hung out at a large bar/brothel known as The Skank. "Oh god, this just has bad news written all over it with a name like that." said Naruto as they walked up to the place.

"You three stay out here. I'll deal with this." said Yūgao as she entered the bar leaving her three charges outside. "Stay out of trouble." She warned them. Hinata, Maya and Naruto all nodded.

…

Inside The Skank…

Yūgao wanted to cover her nose. 'Okay, this place smells like booze, smoke and cheap perfume. Time to look for a guide.'

She quietly started asking around for a guide until she heard the voice she dreaded hearing. "My quest for the perfect ass is finally complete!" said a man in a white suit emerging from the crowd. He was Fukui Ito, the heir to the Fukui family and the last person Yūgao ever wanted to see again this lifetime…and he was headed straight towards her…

…

Outside…

"Hey there handsome! Looking for a good time?" Naruto cringed as a girl that looked to be about ten years old in a Gothic Lolita outfit sashayed up to him.

Hinata and Maya normally would have been very angry but this miniature prostitute but the stricken look on their boyfriend's face was priceless. The girls decided to take pity on Naruto after a couple of minutes and rescue him but they suddenly heard from behind them, "You two must be the new girls! Yum, yum. Very nice; very nice indeed…I can't wait to sample the goods." Maya and Hinata turned around and blanched as they saw an old pimp in a purple dress suit and white wingtip shoes with all kinds of jewelry that was old enough to be their grandfather. He was eyeing them with unabashed lust and Maya and Hinata were both speechless and in shock.

…

With Yūgao…

'OH GOD NO! It's him!' thought Yūgao in horror and disgust. Her mind reeled as she went through the facts in her mind. 'Fukui Ito. Age: mid-twenties by now. Used to getting anything he wants since he's the heir to the Fukui family. Also a masochist that enjoys being hit. On a long quest in life to find the perfect ass and presumably marry the woman who has it. The last person he found with said ass was a Konoha ANBU codenamed Cat who gave him a brutal beating for attempting to gratuitously fondle her rear. Since it got him off; he ordered the entire Fukui family to capture her leading to a narrow escape by Cat and her team five years ago. Kami help me through this.'

As Yūgao was going through all the facts in her head Ito drifted over to her and said, "Your body is like a temple my dear, let me worship at your altar."

Yūgao cringed and turned to him while saying in a flat tone, "Services are closed for the month so you should leave." 'Did he actually use that incredibly bad pick up line?'

"Hohoho! You are so witty my dear." said Ito. "I haven't seen such perfection since my first true love, Cat-chan. Let me buy you a drink…"

'Oh please god, help me…' thought the purple haired Jonin.

…

Outside…

Naruto said gently, "Ummm…I think you should go home little lady, I really don't think you should be in a place like this."

"Nonsense! I'm Chisana and I'm seventeen sugar. I'm more than enough woman for you…I'll give you a night you'll never forget. I can just tell you have a thing for me." she said batting her eyelashes. "I'll give you a discount because you're sexy with those whisker tattoos."

'Uggghhh…I've never felt so awkward in my life. I'm being hit on by a flat chested, four-foot-tall hooker wannabe.' thought Naruto.

"You know you want it baby." said Chisana as she took a coquettish pose. "You like what you see?"

Naruto's only thought at this point was, 'I'm in hell.'

…

With Maya and Hinata…

The two young kunoichi were dusting their hands off in a nearby alley. Behind them was a dumpster with a pair of legs clad in purple dress pants wearing white wingtip shoes sticking out of it. "Well, that takes care of that Maya-chan." said Hinata sounding rather pleased with herself.

"Indeed, it does Hinata-chan." agreed Maya who sounded equally pleased. "Let's go rescue Naruto-kun from that miniature whore." Coming around the corner they saw Naruto stepping back as Chisana pressed forward. When they heard her say something about being Naruto's 'jailbait baby' they quickly pulled poor Chisana back in the alley, knocked her out and threw her in the same dumpster with the old pimp.

Naruto said "T-thank you girls." Apparently the great Uzumaki Naruto could stare death in the face and laugh but Gothic Lolita's scared the hell out of him…

About the time they got back to the entrance of The Skank they heard a commotion inside and a man in an elegant white business suit was being hauled out on a makeshift stretcher. "Clear the way, Ito-sama is really, really sick!" cried a man. "Let's get him to a doctor!" The stench of bowels permeated the air and the back of Fukui Ito's pants were badly stained…

The three genins stepped aside and about ten minutes later Yūgao came out with a smirk on her face and barely contained glee dancing in her brown eyes. 'Poison is a wonderful thing. It won't kill him, but he'll be sick in the bathroom for a week. They'll think it's dysentery. I'll have to thank Anko later for this.' She turned to her genins who were all standing at attention. "No trouble…?" she asked.

"Nothing we couldn't handle sensei." said Maya.

Yūgao nodded. "Good, good. I have our guide right here." she said as she held up a black book. "Let's get out of this vollage."

Her three genins couldn't have agreed more as they all blew out of town at ninja speeds.

…

POSTSCRIPT:

*①: Minami Natsuko's appearance is based upon the character Himejima Akeno from High School DxD. She has Miko outfit, is well endowed (per Wataru-sama's ideas of 'enlightenment'), fair skinned and has long black hair.

Between the Fukui Clan and the Bonkura brothers Team 11 already has two potential problems and they haven't even made it to their client yet. What else awaits them in Tea Country? See you next time. Blue out. 6/22/23