100. That's Not Me, Dammit.

"Here you go, 10 bottles of sake." The waiter quickly brought the requested items.

The blonde woman looked at Shiroken sharply as if he was her mortal enemy. "Young man, I will defeat you, just watch it."

*COUGH*

Shiroken choked when he was called a young man. To be honest, this was a first. Most would see his white hair and call him old. "I only look young but I'm old,"

"Hmm... people say that to me too. It's strange. FINE! LET'S DRINK!" She blabbered.

Shiroken looked at the black-haired girl standing behind who looked very concerned with the state of this woman.

*PA*

She gulped down one bottle and slammed it on the table. Shiroken chuckled and did the same. "You can not defeat me in this life, lady."

"Huh... I'm just starting. *PA*" She downed another one.

Shiroken chuckled and turned to the waiter, "Bring 50 more bottles."

(⊙ˍ⊙)

Her eyes widened when she saw this scene. Although she was drunk, she knew her limit. Shiroken mocked her, "What? Scared now? I thought you were invincible when it came to drinking?"

"I-I am..." She kept on drinking bottles. And slowly a large pile started to form on her side.

Shiroken was not too far behind her, instead, he was ahead by 2 bottles. He knew he could never really get drunk so he was enjoying himself while drinking. Meanwhile, the blonde woman's face was completely reddened by now.

Shiroken didn't even stop for her to gather herself, he was drinking in one flow at a constant speed. The woman was already fighting herself to stay conscious.

~She won't last 5 more bottles.~ He calculated.

"CHEERS!" He forced her to drink more.

She sleepily clanked her bottle and drank, not even speaking or shouting anymore.

~I hope her liver does not get blasted.~ He muttered to himself.

"Good, one more, lady whose name I don't know." Shiroken picked up another bottle to cheer.

*Snoring*

He laughed, "Hahaha... I won, it seems."

She was out, sleeping with her head on the table. The black-haired girl was trying to wake her up but the woman wouldn't budge.

Shiroken got up, "I will go back to my table now, as I don't have to pay for all these drinks."

As soon as he arrived at his seat, the waiter came with a long bill for the dumplings he had not even eaten. Shiroken scowled, "I'm not paying for this tasteless dough. It does not deserve to be even made, let alone paid for. If you want, take the money from her."

"Huh, she's broke. She never pays here anyway. But today the boss won't let her go like this. He said he will take her pendant as a payment." The waiter told him.

Shiroken turned to the sleeping woman, ~How did she end up like this? Addiction?~

He still denied, "I want to meet your boss. How dare he say his dumplings are the best in the world? That's a crime in my books. I will pay if you take down that board from outside."

The bill was 20,000 Ryo. Yes, Shiroken had ordered every single dumpling they had. But just eating one destroyed his appetite. Now, the owner of the shop had two options, one, fight. Two, accept and take down the board for as long as Shiro was here and take the money.

The second one was much simpler so the owner ordered the waiter to do it. Shiroken satisfyingly nodded. ~This world still does not know the true dumplings. I guess I need to tell aunt Fumiko to start her own business.~

Shiroken then ordered a tea to freshen his mood before heading to the Daimyo palace. He needed it to level-headedly take over the country.

*Sip*

"Thank you, the tea is not as bad as dumplings. I guess I'm just too spoiled by eating premium stuff," He muttered in self-reflection.

He was cheerfully drinking. But as he was picking up his teacup again, out of nowhere he felt thick killing intent. And in an instant a kunai passed through his teacup, shattering it. Though Shiroken saw through it all and didn't let the tea fall on his body, he just used the elemental manipulation to keep it away.

He looked to his side annoyedly. Just when he was feeling better this happened. ~Who wants to kill me now?~

But, to his surprise, these people were not after his life. Their target was instead the sleeping blonde woman. There were at least 30 attackers, all wearing ninja clothing, covering themselves from head to toe, only revealing their eyes. Most had swords or a kunai in their hands and also some explosive tags.

"Ah, they waited all this time to make sure she's too drunk? Is this woman strong or something?" He wondered and silently looked at the development. He wanted to see if there was something special about her that attracted these many assassins.

*BAM*

"LET ME SLEEP IN PEACE!"

Sure enough, Shiroken got his reply. The woman suddenly stood up, still with a flustered red face but angry eyes. She just punched one and that made the assassin fly away so hard he smashed through the walls of the restaurant, only to collide with a tree outside.

"*Whistle* Powerful punch." He praised her.

She was really strong... and wild. Punching left and right, anyone who got touched by her fist was thrown away like a ragdoll. The black-haired girl was also fighting beside her, but she was not as strong.

"AH!..." She got stabbed in the arm by a kunai. 3 assassins had surrounded her.

"SHIZUNE!"

The blonde woman quickly moved close to the girl and held her arm to check. But then something unexpected happened. "NO NO NO NO!... This..."

She fell back on a chair as if she just saw a ghost. Her eyes contracted and her face was frozen in panic. Shiroken followed her gaze, it was fixed over the blood oozing out from the girl named Shizune.

~She's... scared of blood? So it's a trauma?~ Shiroken guessed.

The assassins were silent and obviously came not to kidnap but to straightaway kill the blonde woman. With a sigh, he moved, ~Why do I feel like... some forced plot hero who saves the girl in the end?~

Shiroken stood in front of the two. Shizune was also on the ground now, sitting as she was hurt. The other woman was traumatised and couldn't move.

"NO!" The blonde woman gasped as she saw Shiroken being stabbed by a ninja with a sword.

Shiroken turned towards her, dusting off his shoulder and smiling, "Haha... there ain't no blood in me. And it's not like their little sticks can hurt me."

*CLANK*

The sword broke into two. It was humanly impossible to hurt him with such weapons.

*BAM*

Shiroken punched the assassin in the stomach so hard that his tongue came out of his mouth, piercing through the mask. But he saw something strange so he held the man's tongue, "Oh... you got a seal on the tongue? I guess you can not speak about your boss then?"

"AAAAAA..."

Next moment the ninja fell to the floor crying in pain as Shiroken pulled his whole tongue out. Though he made sure to do it so swiftly that no blood would fall.

"I'm taking this as a souvenir to study it." He openly confessed why he was taking it.

"AAAA..." 3 ninjas suddenly rushed to him to attack.

He sighed and just blew air towards them. The three men flew away like small twigs in a storm. It was a fact now, Shiroken was too strong for them.

Ignoring the scared ninjas, he walked back to Tsunade. He waved his hand in front of her eyes, "You alive or dead?"

"Lady Tsunade has a phobia of blood," Shizune explained.

~Tsunade? Hmm... Monari told me about a name like this... Ah... what was it? She's from Konoha I think.~ Shiroken tried to remember what Monari told him a year ago.

But he stopped when he noticed the injury on Shizune's arms. "Come here, girl. I will heal your injury."

She nodded and let him help. To her shock, he just put his hand on her wound for a second and it got healed. "Don't worry, it wasn't too deep."

With her mouth agape, she stared at his face. She had not seen even Tsunade heal so magically.

"Let's get out of here if we want to talk." He muttered and picked Tsunade up in his arms. "Shizune, if you can't walk you should hop on my back." He offered.

Embarrassed, she denied. "N-No, I can walk." And this was when she finally noticed his face completely. Her heart nearly skipped a beat. ~He looks so... similar.~

With Tsunade in his arms in a princess carry, he turned to the owner of the shop. Quickly taking out a gold brick from his pocket, he passed it on to him. "That's for the food and the damage. And you better not dare put the sign back on,"

With that, he swiftly passed by the ninjas. A few tried to make a move but they found their feet pierced by sharp roots arising from the ground. It took a moment for them to start screaming.

*WOOSH*

Shiroken and Shizune picked up speed and jumped from roof to roof, eventually leaving the town and heading towards the nearest river.

"Ummh... D-DAN?" Tsunade woke up suddenly. But she was still too drunk, as her cheeks were blushing and eyes half-open. She was staring at Shiroken's face. Then all of a sudden she touched his face with her palm.

Shiroken felt awkward as he felt her... mounds touch his chest, her body sliding closer to his. He tried his best all this time to hold her with dignity, but she seemed adamant about not allowing that. Shizune was also silently following him and didn't say a word when Tsunade started acting strange. There was surely something going on.

He smiled and shrugged, "I'm Shiroken Dama, Tsunade."

But she continued to caress his face. And the next second her eyes teared up, "Dan... WHERE WERE YOU ALL THIS TIME?"

He nervously looked at her tearful eyes, "Hey, hey... don't cry. I'm not Dan."

"Dammit, she's too drunk." He quickly stopped by the river to throw her into the river. And soon, with no care in the world, he threw her in the middle of the river.

*SPLASH*

[A/N: Boys, we hit 100. YESSS. My third novel to ever reach 100 chapters now. But, I don't know if it will reach 200, since I will not drag it for too long.]

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GIVE ME FAT STONES PLEASE!

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(Advised you don't join right now as there are only 25 chapters. I Will be uploading more soon.) You can read 30 Advanced chapters at -patreon.com/misterimmortal.

Special thanks to *Douglas Flower* *Umar Latif* *Julian Rocamora* *Darrien Steely* *Franklin Walley*

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